It’s amazing to watch the way she uses her hands to massage, assess, palpate…turn a breech baby. A midwife’s greatest tool is her hands. I wonder how many of the women I see in the clinic come from traditional midwifery practices like this. American midwifery must seem very different to them. At it’s heart, I think the respect and tenderness and kindness to pregnant women remains the same, but we could learn so much from traditional practices like this.- Belly Tales
Showing posts with label unmedicated. Show all posts
Showing posts with label unmedicated. Show all posts
2.02.2008
Angelina The Midwife
I have just found some AMAZING vids on YouTube about traditional midwife, Angelina Martinez.
1.18.2008
Momma's On A Roll
O.K. ladies, since I know that many of you are expecting or expecting to be expecting soon, I figured a preparation post might be in order.
With all of the advocacy going on right now, a woman has many options at her finger-tips, but she needs to know what she wants and what she is going to stake out as her territory.
One of the biggest choices a woman has is her Childbirth Class. Many American women are opting out of CBE classes all together nowadays. This is SCARY. Women who don't practice, prepare, and educate for the birth experience find themselves at the mercy of those who have read the textbooks and written the policies. The type of childbirth class you choose will have a profound affect on your birth experience. I recommend that, if you don't want the 'All American' birth experience (tubes, monitors, medication, time constraints, nothing to eat for hours or days, and possible a nice scar to show for all your hard work) that you take an independent childbirth course. This type of class is non-affiliated with hospitals or offices and thus they can give you unbiased and accurate information. A list of some independent childbirth education programs are:
Choose your Birth Place carefully. Many women say "for my first, since I don't know what it will all be like, I just feel better being in the hospital. But for future births, if all goes well, I would like a home birth". That is faulty thinking. PLEASE understand I am not anti-hospital or anti-doctor (I had mine all at the hospital). But, if you desire a home birth and are low risk - have one! Don't wait. Once you check yourself into the hospital, you WILL have interventions, whether they are small or large - and some may make you feel dependent on the hospital for safety, even though they did not ensure a thing. And this would take away your desire or emotional ability to have a home birth for subsequent births. I see it time and again in the mom's that I attend. Remember - you WILL birth best where you feel most comfortable. Listen to your intuition. Some facts:
Along with choosing your birth place is choosing your Birth Team. Most states have Obstetricians practicing in hospitals only; one exception is Illinois. If you are interested in a midwife, though, there are different types of midwives who assist in different settings. For a breakdown on the different models of care of each, see here.
For more information on a breakdown of different types of midwifery, see here.
Writing a Birth Plan is the next step. Once a woman knows what her options are and what she wants out of her birth, I recommend (though some professionals disagree) writing a birth plan. Writing a birth plan will help you to actualize your preferences and solidify your desires. It will also help communicate to your birth team your plans and preferences. This is not an outline, this is not a blueprint, this is a plan. I feel these are VITALLY important in hospital settings, rather important in free-standing birth center settings, and a good discussion topic for midwives and moms in home birth settings. A great template is found here.
And for a fun option, consider Your Attire. This is not a necessity, but I have to tell you, after being through labor myself many a time, and witnessing women on this journey numerous times, women are women even in labor. When we feel beautiful and powerful, we are beautiful and powerful. There is something de-humanizing about putting on the hospital gown at admission. You loose your autonomy. It is frumpy. It is heavy. It is UGLY. When a woman labors nude, or in a Binsi or a sarong, or something that is beautiful to HER - she simply blooms! I can't explain it any other way.
Ladies, happy planning, happy options, let m know if you have any questions as that is what I am here for. Sorry for the link fest, but I had them on my puter anyways, I figured that I might as well help ya'll out.
With all of the advocacy going on right now, a woman has many options at her finger-tips, but she needs to know what she wants and what she is going to stake out as her territory.
One of the biggest choices a woman has is her Childbirth Class. Many American women are opting out of CBE classes all together nowadays. This is SCARY. Women who don't practice, prepare, and educate for the birth experience find themselves at the mercy of those who have read the textbooks and written the policies. The type of childbirth class you choose will have a profound affect on your birth experience. I recommend that, if you don't want the 'All American' birth experience (tubes, monitors, medication, time constraints, nothing to eat for hours or days, and possible a nice scar to show for all your hard work) that you take an independent childbirth course. This type of class is non-affiliated with hospitals or offices and thus they can give you unbiased and accurate information. A list of some independent childbirth education programs are:
- Wonderfully Made Childbirth
- Bradley Method Childbirth
- Hypnobabies
- Hypnobirth
- Birthing From Within
- Association of Labor Assistants and Childbirth Educators
- Birth Works
- International Childbirth Education Association
Choose your Birth Place carefully. Many women say "for my first, since I don't know what it will all be like, I just feel better being in the hospital. But for future births, if all goes well, I would like a home birth". That is faulty thinking. PLEASE understand I am not anti-hospital or anti-doctor (I had mine all at the hospital). But, if you desire a home birth and are low risk - have one! Don't wait. Once you check yourself into the hospital, you WILL have interventions, whether they are small or large - and some may make you feel dependent on the hospital for safety, even though they did not ensure a thing. And this would take away your desire or emotional ability to have a home birth for subsequent births. I see it time and again in the mom's that I attend. Remember - you WILL birth best where you feel most comfortable. Listen to your intuition. Some facts:
- Home Birth is as safe if not safer than hospital birth for a low-risk, healthy mom.
- Free Standing Birth Centers offer more safeguards than home births, but are less rigid in policies than hospitals
- Hospitals are a good option for those who are not low-risk or who feel most comfortable in a hospital setting. I had to add this link simply because it is so uncommon in hospitals. :o)
Along with choosing your birth place is choosing your Birth Team. Most states have Obstetricians practicing in hospitals only; one exception is Illinois. If you are interested in a midwife, though, there are different types of midwives who assist in different settings. For a breakdown on the different models of care of each, see here.
- Obstetricians - (OB) most states have them only practicing in hospital births. A few states allow them to assist in home births. Notice the link says 'management' - meaning they control it.
- Certified Nurse Midwives - (CNM) most often, they assist in hospital births, under the tutelage of an OB. Some work in free-standing birth centers and have an OB backup working directly with them. Very few states have CNMs that do home births.
- Certified Professional Midwives - (CPMs) most often do home births. A few states have CPMs who run free-standing birth centers. No state allows CPMs to practice in a hospital.
- Lay Midwives - (LMs or DMs) are direct entry midwives who have learned through hands on experience and mentorship. They are the only form of birth professional that has not had formal training, though most have extensive knowledge of techniques and forms of assistance in variations of labor (difficult, high-risk, multiples, shoulder dystocia) that other professionals have either not learned or not practiced (been skilled in). Many states have laws making Lay Midwifery illegal - though it continues to thrive underground as a valid option in birth.
For more information on a breakdown of different types of midwifery, see here.
Writing a Birth Plan is the next step. Once a woman knows what her options are and what she wants out of her birth, I recommend (though some professionals disagree) writing a birth plan. Writing a birth plan will help you to actualize your preferences and solidify your desires. It will also help communicate to your birth team your plans and preferences. This is not an outline, this is not a blueprint, this is a plan. I feel these are VITALLY important in hospital settings, rather important in free-standing birth center settings, and a good discussion topic for midwives and moms in home birth settings. A great template is found here.
And for a fun option, consider Your Attire. This is not a necessity, but I have to tell you, after being through labor myself many a time, and witnessing women on this journey numerous times, women are women even in labor. When we feel beautiful and powerful, we are beautiful and powerful. There is something de-humanizing about putting on the hospital gown at admission. You loose your autonomy. It is frumpy. It is heavy. It is UGLY. When a woman labors nude, or in a Binsi or a sarong, or something that is beautiful to HER - she simply blooms! I can't explain it any other way.
Ladies, happy planning, happy options, let m know if you have any questions as that is what I am here for. Sorry for the link fest, but I had them on my puter anyways, I figured that I might as well help ya'll out.
12.04.2007
Tokophobia
This is for those of us who cannot relate - to give us a motivator and a healthy dose of empathy.
This is also for those who find the idea of pregnancy and birth incapacitating, frightening, disgusting, or otherwise fearful.
If you fall into the latter group, you now have a term for your fear: tokophobia. The fear of childbirth.
How far do we go back to find the root of this? When did childbirth turn from a normal and natural occurrence, a part of life, into a debilitating fear?
Let's go back to PB (pre-baby/pre-birth). As a young pregnant woman, Sophie* is surrounded by friends and family - those female mentors and confidants that she trusts to give her insight, wisdom, advise, and encouragement. Those women feed her horror stories of women who die in labor, have horrible episiotomies, sepsis, and stillborns. They encourage her to watch ABNORMAL births on "Baby Story", "Special Delivery", and all of the prime time shows that are featuring a birth. They 'encourage' her by telling her how horrible the pain of birth is and to get medication as soon as possible. She is frightened.
But, maybe she was fearful even before that? Perhaps it isn't only about the pain of birth, but what the event means?! Let's go about 3-6 months prior to that... Sophie is just finding out that she is pregnant. Wonderful news right? Wrong. She belongs to a church where, just a few months ago, she saw a young girl in the same situation have to publically repent in front of the congregation. She had been working in childcare, but now was not allowed to. She has a 1 month old and no one threw her a shower. She was kicked out of her Christian College and now lived at home with two parent's who are coddled for the grief their wayward daughter has given them. She is terrified to let anyone know she is pregnant, let alone actually give birth and become a parent. She is afraid the father will leave her for an 'untarnished' version - one that won't be 'stretched out' by motherhood. She has no woman whom she can trust to talk to. She is frightened.
Could that have been where it started? Let's try even further back... Sophie is a middle schooler, about 12 years of age. She is in Sex Education and watching a film on reproduction. The room is dark and it smells like dry erase markers, rubber bands, and boys who don't wear enough deodorant. Throughout the 'reporduction' section, the boys hoot and whistle while the girl's grin nervously and blush. When it gets to the pregnancy section, many of the boy's make snide comments about the woman's changing body and the girl's self-consciously whisper to one another. There are uneasy shuffles as the film gets to the birth section. Suddenly, the screen fills with a woman who is yelling, sobbing, and thrashing, turning purple while a nurse yells at her to hold her breath and push, her husband pants oddly at her elbow, and a doctor stretches her roughly. He performs an episiotomy with no fanfare and no warning, and finishes by grabbing the infant's head and turns it by it's neck, pulling down and out. Once the baby is born, she is handed off to the nurse who hangs him by his two feet and starts shoving a suction down his nose and throat. The film ends. Lights up. The title of the film? "The Miracle of Life". Looking around, she sees 1/2 the class covering their eyes, a few who had to leave for the restroom slowly and shakily return, and the others look at the blank projection screen with gaping mouths and terrified expressions. She feels ill. She is scared.
Maybe not even there? How far do we have to go back? Sitting at a baby shower as a tweenager, listening to her classmates talk about period cramps and how their older sister's say having a baby is a million times worse and more disgusting? When Sophie is an 8 year old, and she overhears her Aunt talk about her cesarean while she flashes her 6 inch, badly healed, scar? At the feet of her mother as a 5 year old, listening to the horrors of early IV narcotics during labor? Perhaps even her own traumatic birth? Perhaps?...
Do any of those resonate with you? If not, you are lucky, being raised in the U.S. culture that we live in today, that it doesn't.
Fear is a strong motivator for making bad decisions. Yessir; it is. So what do we do about Tokophobia? Eradicate it from our culture - one young female at a time. Talk to our daughters early about reproduction and sex. Talk to them about self image. Tell them about the beautiful and NORMAL rite of passage of labor and birth. Fathers, embrace your wives' changing figures - gush over her breasts and handles, beauty and flaws. She is a woman. Refuse to listen to or perpetuate the horror stories of abnormal birth - instead, surround young pregnant women with Truth and Trust.
Break the cycle. Reclaim truth and trust. Dispel fear.
This is also for those who find the idea of pregnancy and birth incapacitating, frightening, disgusting, or otherwise fearful.
If you fall into the latter group, you now have a term for your fear: tokophobia. The fear of childbirth.
How far do we go back to find the root of this? When did childbirth turn from a normal and natural occurrence, a part of life, into a debilitating fear?
Let's go back to PB (pre-baby/pre-birth). As a young pregnant woman, Sophie* is surrounded by friends and family - those female mentors and confidants that she trusts to give her insight, wisdom, advise, and encouragement. Those women feed her horror stories of women who die in labor, have horrible episiotomies, sepsis, and stillborns. They encourage her to watch ABNORMAL births on "Baby Story", "Special Delivery", and all of the prime time shows that are featuring a birth. They 'encourage' her by telling her how horrible the pain of birth is and to get medication as soon as possible. She is frightened.
But, maybe she was fearful even before that? Perhaps it isn't only about the pain of birth, but what the event means?! Let's go about 3-6 months prior to that... Sophie is just finding out that she is pregnant. Wonderful news right? Wrong. She belongs to a church where, just a few months ago, she saw a young girl in the same situation have to publically repent in front of the congregation. She had been working in childcare, but now was not allowed to. She has a 1 month old and no one threw her a shower. She was kicked out of her Christian College and now lived at home with two parent's who are coddled for the grief their wayward daughter has given them. She is terrified to let anyone know she is pregnant, let alone actually give birth and become a parent. She is afraid the father will leave her for an 'untarnished' version - one that won't be 'stretched out' by motherhood. She has no woman whom she can trust to talk to. She is frightened.
Could that have been where it started? Let's try even further back... Sophie is a middle schooler, about 12 years of age. She is in Sex Education and watching a film on reproduction. The room is dark and it smells like dry erase markers, rubber bands, and boys who don't wear enough deodorant. Throughout the 'reporduction' section, the boys hoot and whistle while the girl's grin nervously and blush. When it gets to the pregnancy section, many of the boy's make snide comments about the woman's changing body and the girl's self-consciously whisper to one another. There are uneasy shuffles as the film gets to the birth section. Suddenly, the screen fills with a woman who is yelling, sobbing, and thrashing, turning purple while a nurse yells at her to hold her breath and push, her husband pants oddly at her elbow, and a doctor stretches her roughly. He performs an episiotomy with no fanfare and no warning, and finishes by grabbing the infant's head and turns it by it's neck, pulling down and out. Once the baby is born, she is handed off to the nurse who hangs him by his two feet and starts shoving a suction down his nose and throat. The film ends. Lights up. The title of the film? "The Miracle of Life". Looking around, she sees 1/2 the class covering their eyes, a few who had to leave for the restroom slowly and shakily return, and the others look at the blank projection screen with gaping mouths and terrified expressions. She feels ill. She is scared.
Maybe not even there? How far do we have to go back? Sitting at a baby shower as a tweenager, listening to her classmates talk about period cramps and how their older sister's say having a baby is a million times worse and more disgusting? When Sophie is an 8 year old, and she overhears her Aunt talk about her cesarean while she flashes her 6 inch, badly healed, scar? At the feet of her mother as a 5 year old, listening to the horrors of early IV narcotics during labor? Perhaps even her own traumatic birth? Perhaps?...
Do any of those resonate with you? If not, you are lucky, being raised in the U.S. culture that we live in today, that it doesn't.
Fear is a strong motivator for making bad decisions. Yessir; it is. So what do we do about Tokophobia? Eradicate it from our culture - one young female at a time. Talk to our daughters early about reproduction and sex. Talk to them about self image. Tell them about the beautiful and NORMAL rite of passage of labor and birth. Fathers, embrace your wives' changing figures - gush over her breasts and handles, beauty and flaws. She is a woman. Refuse to listen to or perpetuate the horror stories of abnormal birth - instead, surround young pregnant women with Truth and Trust.
Break the cycle. Reclaim truth and trust. Dispel fear.
11.09.2007
The Instinct of Birth
by Candace Whitridge, CNM
from The Birthkit, Spring 1994
published by The Midifery Today Association
Copyright 1994, Midwifery Today, Inc.
When a woman is in labor, a little fight goes on in the woman's brain. One part of her brain, the intellect, will tell her that she should do certain things. Perhaps those are things that she learned in childbirth classes; perhaps those are things that other people have told her that she should do to cope with birth.
But from the other part of the brain will come an urge so deep within her that it will compel her to move her body and to use her voice in a completely different way.
Those are her deep instincts about childbirth, but we have buried these for so long that most of us have forgotten that knowledge. Occasionally, though, I see women who remember....
Very early in my practice, a young 16- or 17-year-old girl came to see me when she was very, very pregnant. She thought that she was getting close to giving birth, so I gave her a very lengthy exam and we talked for almost two hours. She was in good health, so I made an appointment to see her the following week.
But the next day, she returned with her husband. She smiled and said, "Well, here I am. I'm going to have my baby today." I looked at her face and body for some evidence that she was in labor, but saw nothing. "Well, let's take you back to the room and we'll give you an examination," I said. " "Are you having contractions?" I asked her. "Oh, you bet I am," she said. I expected to find a very closed cervix--but she was 8 centimeters!
She wanted to deliver in our clinic's birthroom. So we went into the room and she jumped up on top of the bed. She began to order everyone around. She said to her husband, "Now I would like you to sit in that chair." And she said to me, "I would like you to sit on this bed with me." I still saw no evidence that she was in labor.
I got our sterile bowl of instruments and put it down next to me on the bed. And this woman sat there and continued to smile, looking like an angel. She closed her eyes and pulled up her skirt. "Well, as I said, the baby is coming," she said. I sat there with my silly little bowl. She opened her legs and the bag of waters appeared at the opening of her vagina. The water broke like a little river and the head appeared. She took the baby's head in her hand, and when the shoulders turned she took her baby out and put it on her tummy. Then she said, "I would like my husband to cut the cord, please." I showed him what to do, and he cut the cord, and the family enclosed themselves. And I still sat there, and had done nothing so far. Then she said, "Oh, excuse me, but here is my placenta now." She pushed it out into the bed so I gathered it up, and my little bowl, and everyone was fine so I just left the room.
I talked with her later about why birth seemed so easy for her. After all, she was only 16. She told me that her mother, who had had many children, told her that when she was in labor, she would feel God's power coming through her and she should do anything possible to welcome it. So that was the attitude that this woman had about birth. There was no doubt in her mind that she would know what to do. Her knowledge and courage impressed me immensely.
Two days later, I had another young woman in labor. She, too, had never taken childbirth classes, but she was very different from the first young girl.She was very noisy and moved all over the room. She strutted like a big rooster and threw herself on the bed and on the floor. She roared around and moaned loudly. She and her young husband did "high fives" because they were both very proud of what they were doing. Rock music played in the background.
She had a very fast labor, and she told me later that she just did what she felt like doing. She did not think about it. There was nothing to think about--she was just going to do the work and birth her baby. Women, when they are in an environment that supports them and are with people who trust them, will birth exactly as they need to in order to birth their babies. We have forgotten that we remember. I have also learned that women have a very strong desire to be among people who are happy and who have a lot of trust in them. I live and work in a place where women say that birth is so important they should not waste the opportunity. And they say that birth is something that one should "get into," and is not something that one simply must "get through." Imagine a place where women talk about their stories over and over, because they had such a great time, instead of a place where women fear birth.
A woman came to me to have her second baby. She had her first baby elsewhere, using the breathing techniques the childbirth classes had taught. She said, "I felt like I had to huff and puff and blow my baby out." All through labor, she said she felt an urge deep within her that was very wild, almost like an animal. But people kept telling her to be quiet and to stay in control. Well, she said she absolutely did not want anyone at this birth to tell her to shut up and stay in control. She said the feeling in her was so wild--she didn't know what it was--but she wanted to do as she pleased at this birth. And she wanted me just to be her guardian, to watch over the safety of her and her baby as the baby was being born. So, I agreed to her wishes.
When she went into labor, I was called to the hospital. The lights were very low in the room, and my friend, a nurse, was sitting on the floor in the corner, very quietly watching. The woman and her husband were dancing cheek to cheek, with their eyes closed, all around the room. The music was her moaning...aah, aah, aah. I sat quietly in the room and watched them. When my friend had to listen to the baby's heart rate, she crawled over quietly with her little machine and listened, then crawled very quietly back. Finally, the husband opened his eyes and looked at me for the first time. He smiled and said, "Oh, this is just like the dance at our wedding."
The woman really didn't even notice I was there. During contractions, she pulled away from him, threw herself on the bed, grabbed the pillow in her mouth and rolled around. Then she came back together with him and he held her, and they continued to dance together, everywhere, all over the room.
Finally, she bent over and squatted by the bed. She had a startled look on her face and she said to me, "Oh, no!" "What's the problem?" I asked. "Well, I'm pushing already and I was having such a good time!" She did not want it to be finished. I thought, "Every woman and her husband should have the opportunity to birth in this way. Unlike most women, who can hardly wait for labor to be finished, this woman was just beginning to get into it."
If we can understand that the best things in life do not come to us without our effort, and if we can discover a different understanding of childbirth pain, then we will find that we do not need to pull away and run for it, as if we are frightened.
Only then, can we emerge from the other side of birth much bigger than we were before we started.
Candace Whitridge is a nurse-midwife and farmer in Northern California. These stories are from a talk she gave in Poland.
Reprinted with permission.
from The Birthkit, Spring 1994
published by The Midifery Today Association
Copyright 1994, Midwifery Today, Inc.
When a woman is in labor, a little fight goes on in the woman's brain. One part of her brain, the intellect, will tell her that she should do certain things. Perhaps those are things that she learned in childbirth classes; perhaps those are things that other people have told her that she should do to cope with birth.
But from the other part of the brain will come an urge so deep within her that it will compel her to move her body and to use her voice in a completely different way.
Those are her deep instincts about childbirth, but we have buried these for so long that most of us have forgotten that knowledge. Occasionally, though, I see women who remember....
Very early in my practice, a young 16- or 17-year-old girl came to see me when she was very, very pregnant. She thought that she was getting close to giving birth, so I gave her a very lengthy exam and we talked for almost two hours. She was in good health, so I made an appointment to see her the following week.
But the next day, she returned with her husband. She smiled and said, "Well, here I am. I'm going to have my baby today." I looked at her face and body for some evidence that she was in labor, but saw nothing. "Well, let's take you back to the room and we'll give you an examination," I said. " "Are you having contractions?" I asked her. "Oh, you bet I am," she said. I expected to find a very closed cervix--but she was 8 centimeters!
She wanted to deliver in our clinic's birthroom. So we went into the room and she jumped up on top of the bed. She began to order everyone around. She said to her husband, "Now I would like you to sit in that chair." And she said to me, "I would like you to sit on this bed with me." I still saw no evidence that she was in labor.
I got our sterile bowl of instruments and put it down next to me on the bed. And this woman sat there and continued to smile, looking like an angel. She closed her eyes and pulled up her skirt. "Well, as I said, the baby is coming," she said. I sat there with my silly little bowl. She opened her legs and the bag of waters appeared at the opening of her vagina. The water broke like a little river and the head appeared. She took the baby's head in her hand, and when the shoulders turned she took her baby out and put it on her tummy. Then she said, "I would like my husband to cut the cord, please." I showed him what to do, and he cut the cord, and the family enclosed themselves. And I still sat there, and had done nothing so far. Then she said, "Oh, excuse me, but here is my placenta now." She pushed it out into the bed so I gathered it up, and my little bowl, and everyone was fine so I just left the room.
I talked with her later about why birth seemed so easy for her. After all, she was only 16. She told me that her mother, who had had many children, told her that when she was in labor, she would feel God's power coming through her and she should do anything possible to welcome it. So that was the attitude that this woman had about birth. There was no doubt in her mind that she would know what to do. Her knowledge and courage impressed me immensely.
Two days later, I had another young woman in labor. She, too, had never taken childbirth classes, but she was very different from the first young girl.She was very noisy and moved all over the room. She strutted like a big rooster and threw herself on the bed and on the floor. She roared around and moaned loudly. She and her young husband did "high fives" because they were both very proud of what they were doing. Rock music played in the background.
She had a very fast labor, and she told me later that she just did what she felt like doing. She did not think about it. There was nothing to think about--she was just going to do the work and birth her baby. Women, when they are in an environment that supports them and are with people who trust them, will birth exactly as they need to in order to birth their babies. We have forgotten that we remember. I have also learned that women have a very strong desire to be among people who are happy and who have a lot of trust in them. I live and work in a place where women say that birth is so important they should not waste the opportunity. And they say that birth is something that one should "get into," and is not something that one simply must "get through." Imagine a place where women talk about their stories over and over, because they had such a great time, instead of a place where women fear birth.
A woman came to me to have her second baby. She had her first baby elsewhere, using the breathing techniques the childbirth classes had taught. She said, "I felt like I had to huff and puff and blow my baby out." All through labor, she said she felt an urge deep within her that was very wild, almost like an animal. But people kept telling her to be quiet and to stay in control. Well, she said she absolutely did not want anyone at this birth to tell her to shut up and stay in control. She said the feeling in her was so wild--she didn't know what it was--but she wanted to do as she pleased at this birth. And she wanted me just to be her guardian, to watch over the safety of her and her baby as the baby was being born. So, I agreed to her wishes.
When she went into labor, I was called to the hospital. The lights were very low in the room, and my friend, a nurse, was sitting on the floor in the corner, very quietly watching. The woman and her husband were dancing cheek to cheek, with their eyes closed, all around the room. The music was her moaning...aah, aah, aah. I sat quietly in the room and watched them. When my friend had to listen to the baby's heart rate, she crawled over quietly with her little machine and listened, then crawled very quietly back. Finally, the husband opened his eyes and looked at me for the first time. He smiled and said, "Oh, this is just like the dance at our wedding."
The woman really didn't even notice I was there. During contractions, she pulled away from him, threw herself on the bed, grabbed the pillow in her mouth and rolled around. Then she came back together with him and he held her, and they continued to dance together, everywhere, all over the room.
Finally, she bent over and squatted by the bed. She had a startled look on her face and she said to me, "Oh, no!" "What's the problem?" I asked. "Well, I'm pushing already and I was having such a good time!" She did not want it to be finished. I thought, "Every woman and her husband should have the opportunity to birth in this way. Unlike most women, who can hardly wait for labor to be finished, this woman was just beginning to get into it."
If we can understand that the best things in life do not come to us without our effort, and if we can discover a different understanding of childbirth pain, then we will find that we do not need to pull away and run for it, as if we are frightened.
Only then, can we emerge from the other side of birth much bigger than we were before we started.
Candace Whitridge is a nurse-midwife and farmer in Northern California. These stories are from a talk she gave in Poland.
Reprinted with permission.
9.04.2007
a 3rd VBAC at home...
As I blogged about recently, I have been talking with a dear sweet courageous woman who wants a no-intervention 2VBAC. She had had one cesarean, then a vaginal homebirth, and now wants another vaginal birth. She was planning a homebirth, but has run into obstacles... more recently, she has been planning a hospital birth, but her midwifery practice kindly asked her to leave because of refusing a ultrasound to determine scarring and incision (which studies say is inconclusive anyway). So, in hopes of encouraging her and as a request for all readers to send up a prayer for K to find the birthteam that she is supposed to have for this birth, please enjoy this beautiful 3VBAC and u/a VBAC.
9.03.2007
Welcome Molly Rebekah
Jill and Eric, oh what a journey! It seems surreal that we have arrived! I wrote notes down Saturday morning, after leaving the three of you, but I needed more time to really put things together… it was and still is such a ‘high time’. At last, though, it is complete – the miraculous and powerful birth of Molly Rebekah has been achieved; and now, here is the experience in the words of your doula.
You had an early bout of preparation labor on Saturday, August 25th. It started around 3 in the afternoon and finally tapered off sometime around 4 in the morning on Sunday. Mightily discouraged, you and I talked about what may have kept this from being the ‘real thing’. I mentioned that prodromal labor for such an extended period of time can sometimes be an indicator of baby being slightly misaligned in the pelvis. So, on Sunday, August 26th, at my urgings, you attempted the knee-to-chest position and were successful to stay in that position for a full 45 minutes. That night, you found that Molly was pressing down on your cervix more firmly and really nuzzling it, perhaps feeling out her new space to move around. You were up many times that night for the bathroom and Eric noted your ‘laborious’ walk – she had finally engaged.
Monday and Tuesday, you had no Braxton Hicks to speak of, though Tuesday, you found your body to be preparing further with bouts of friendly and frequent runs to the bathroom, along with more mucous discharge. I believe that the knee-to-chest position helped get Molly in a better position because of a number of reasons. First, you were given a break from your Braxton hicks; which indicates Molly was settling down, giving you a rest before starting the real thing along with a non-aggravated uterus due to properly aligned baby. Secondly, the increase in plug/bloody show and her being 'SO LOW' since that time definitely confirmed lightening and settling into the pelvis much more snugly. And finally, her ‘twisting her head against [your] cervix’; some birth psychologists believe that that is a prep indicator of baby 'testing' the route out...
Wednesday marked an appointment with Linda, your midwife. She happily announced that your cervix was no longer posterior, but anterior, and Molly was resting her sweet little head against your cervix. Later that same day, you had diarrhea and light bleeding. Your body continued to work at readying itself for Molly’s entrance into the world.
Thursday, August 30th, you were graced with another set of contractions – Molly testing out the door, so to speak. They began around 4:30pm and tapered off around 3am on Friday morning, August 31st. By daybreak, you were both emotionally spent and were ready to release the anxiousness at starting labor. God was conceded the reigns of worry and anxious waiting, and thus, He was given the permission to start.
That same night, Friday, August 31st, around 7 in the evening, while you and Eric were enjoying “Chocolat”, contractions began yet again. Their timing was, again, around 10-12 minutes, but both Eric and you noticed that they were different, more demanding of your attention, and Eric began to consider that this was it.
Meanwhile, I had gotten my shower and was just crawling into bed when a niggling voice told me, as it had numerous other occasions just such as this, that I would not be falling into a deep sleep anytime soon, but that my dear friend and momma Jill was preparing to guide her daughter into the world. No sooner had I had that thought, and picked up the phone to put it a little closer to the bed, than the phone rang.
It was Eric, calling me at 11pm to give me an update that contractions were the same distance apart as when they had begun, but that you were noticeably more distracted by them. I could tell by his voice that this was, indeed, different then those that had occurred in the past. We talked about timing a few more, before considering going in.
After hanging up, I called my aunt to come into town and watch the children as my husband, Calvin, was out of town. At around 11:45pm, Eric called once again to ask what I thought should be your next step. After hearing that contractions had not picked up measurably, but knowing what I sensed in his paternal heart and my spirit, I recommended that, if you wanted to arrive in time for your GBS treatment (which you had previously decided to do) that you may want to pack up and go in.
Five minutes after my aunt arrived at our home, Eric called to let me know that you were en route to the hospital and your contractions had quickly shortened to 6 minute frequencies and you were showing signs of transition. What a wonderful coach Eric was! I hopped in my car and arrived at the hospital 10 minutes later. I met with Linda briefly in the hall before quietly letting myself into the room.
Walking into your room, I had a sense of exquisite intimacy – the continuation of a romance. Truly, lights low, and with Jill reclining on the bed, in complete repose, concentration, and relaxation, while the attentive hands of Eric roamed her body, searching for any tension, while breathing loving words and lighting kisses on her skin intermittently, oh – it was passion! That same loving attention that had created Molly was now going to help guide her into this world!
At that time, you were 7-8cm and your contractions were coming between 3 and 4 minutes apart, lasting for around 1 minute each. Encouragement and loving touch seemed about all that you needed, reminders to keep the tension out of your shoulders, neck, and face. Your complete relaxation had those around you entranced. Between contractions, we offered you water and reassurance, and you offered us grins that all was well.
Shortly after I arrived, during one such time between contractions, your eyes were not as cloudless, nor your smile as strong, and I watched your shoulders pull up during the next contraction while your toes flexed away from your body. You were beginning to physically pull yourself away from your womb.
I sensed in my spirit that you knew you were coming upon the last stretch of labor and had a silently harbored fear of the next stage – a disbelief in your own abilities. So, with the next rest between contractions, we talked about what your pushing contractions might feel like, how your body was meant for this act, and to not be afraid of the contractions. I encouraged you that, when you felt the desire to pull away in unease, to instead immerse yourself in the contraction, giving in to it and going deep into it.
About 10 minutes later, you felt your first real grunty pushy contractions at about 2 minutes apart. Eric knew immediately what it was and looked up to me with a huge grin on his face before moving his mouth down next to your ear once more to praise you and whisper affectionately to you.
After a few more of these, which seemed to be getting slightly more demanding, you decided to try another position. So, we assisted you in switching to your other side, which was hindered slightly from cramping ligaments. At this point, you felt a strong push contraction and you followed your body’s cue to yoller her down.
It only took one more of this type of contraction for you to know that you no longer wanted your legs together on your side. So Linda, who had arrived back in your room a short time ago, Eric, and I helped you into a sitting position with your knees falling outward. Immediately a look of self possession and purpose came over your face. Your eyes were no longer clouded as your body unfolded, strong and purposeful, yet soft and supple.
With your next contraction, you again began pulled away from the contraction, but it only took a reminder from Linda to envision your body like a “J”, curving down to meet your baby, and myself to sink deep into the contraction and listen to your body. You transformed, in that instant, from a laboring woman into a vessel which channeled an Energy more powerful than yourself, one that you could not contain, but only give into – relinquishing the last visages of control. Gave up and gave in – you began birthing!
Your baby and your body worked in perfect harmony and Molly began to descend rapidly. Lost to the world of midwives and doulas, coaches and hospital rooms, you travelled into Laborland – the only inhabitants being yourself, your baby, and the Energy. Opening your mouth wide and singing her down, your body followed suit and Molly moved to +2/3 station with an intact bag of water. Linda continued pressure on her head with the next contraction and your bag burst, baptizing Eric’s waiting hands in a rush of warm water.
You were utterly and completely given over to labor, working with your body, moving it slightly right and left, lifting your hips, and pulling your knees apart, all the while vocalizing Molly down the birth canal. A work of art – wrought in nature’s design and God’s purpose. It took my strong grip on your shoulder, and Eric and Linda together nearly yelling your name to bring you back to the present time. Slowly, Linda urged; so as to keep you intact, slowly Jill.
Molly descended the last bit, fully to crowning, and was born up to her neck with one contraction. I barely had time to spin around and get the camera ready. Eric was poised to catch, and your body at last gave you a short break before the final wave crashed over your body and out of your womb. Molly rotated slightly, her shoulder slipped free, and she slid into Eric’s waiting hands. Immediately both you and Eric began laughing, joy immeasurable. She was Captivating. She was Beloved!
Welcome Molly Rebekah!
7lbs 8ozs 19.25 inches long
Born September 1st at 2:20am
You had an early bout of preparation labor on Saturday, August 25th. It started around 3 in the afternoon and finally tapered off sometime around 4 in the morning on Sunday. Mightily discouraged, you and I talked about what may have kept this from being the ‘real thing’. I mentioned that prodromal labor for such an extended period of time can sometimes be an indicator of baby being slightly misaligned in the pelvis. So, on Sunday, August 26th, at my urgings, you attempted the knee-to-chest position and were successful to stay in that position for a full 45 minutes. That night, you found that Molly was pressing down on your cervix more firmly and really nuzzling it, perhaps feeling out her new space to move around. You were up many times that night for the bathroom and Eric noted your ‘laborious’ walk – she had finally engaged.
Monday and Tuesday, you had no Braxton Hicks to speak of, though Tuesday, you found your body to be preparing further with bouts of friendly and frequent runs to the bathroom, along with more mucous discharge. I believe that the knee-to-chest position helped get Molly in a better position because of a number of reasons. First, you were given a break from your Braxton hicks; which indicates Molly was settling down, giving you a rest before starting the real thing along with a non-aggravated uterus due to properly aligned baby. Secondly, the increase in plug/bloody show and her being 'SO LOW' since that time definitely confirmed lightening and settling into the pelvis much more snugly. And finally, her ‘twisting her head against [your] cervix’; some birth psychologists believe that that is a prep indicator of baby 'testing' the route out...
Wednesday marked an appointment with Linda, your midwife. She happily announced that your cervix was no longer posterior, but anterior, and Molly was resting her sweet little head against your cervix. Later that same day, you had diarrhea and light bleeding. Your body continued to work at readying itself for Molly’s entrance into the world.
Thursday, August 30th, you were graced with another set of contractions – Molly testing out the door, so to speak. They began around 4:30pm and tapered off around 3am on Friday morning, August 31st. By daybreak, you were both emotionally spent and were ready to release the anxiousness at starting labor. God was conceded the reigns of worry and anxious waiting, and thus, He was given the permission to start.
That same night, Friday, August 31st, around 7 in the evening, while you and Eric were enjoying “Chocolat”, contractions began yet again. Their timing was, again, around 10-12 minutes, but both Eric and you noticed that they were different, more demanding of your attention, and Eric began to consider that this was it.
Meanwhile, I had gotten my shower and was just crawling into bed when a niggling voice told me, as it had numerous other occasions just such as this, that I would not be falling into a deep sleep anytime soon, but that my dear friend and momma Jill was preparing to guide her daughter into the world. No sooner had I had that thought, and picked up the phone to put it a little closer to the bed, than the phone rang.
It was Eric, calling me at 11pm to give me an update that contractions were the same distance apart as when they had begun, but that you were noticeably more distracted by them. I could tell by his voice that this was, indeed, different then those that had occurred in the past. We talked about timing a few more, before considering going in.
After hanging up, I called my aunt to come into town and watch the children as my husband, Calvin, was out of town. At around 11:45pm, Eric called once again to ask what I thought should be your next step. After hearing that contractions had not picked up measurably, but knowing what I sensed in his paternal heart and my spirit, I recommended that, if you wanted to arrive in time for your GBS treatment (which you had previously decided to do) that you may want to pack up and go in.
Five minutes after my aunt arrived at our home, Eric called to let me know that you were en route to the hospital and your contractions had quickly shortened to 6 minute frequencies and you were showing signs of transition. What a wonderful coach Eric was! I hopped in my car and arrived at the hospital 10 minutes later. I met with Linda briefly in the hall before quietly letting myself into the room.
Walking into your room, I had a sense of exquisite intimacy – the continuation of a romance. Truly, lights low, and with Jill reclining on the bed, in complete repose, concentration, and relaxation, while the attentive hands of Eric roamed her body, searching for any tension, while breathing loving words and lighting kisses on her skin intermittently, oh – it was passion! That same loving attention that had created Molly was now going to help guide her into this world!
At that time, you were 7-8cm and your contractions were coming between 3 and 4 minutes apart, lasting for around 1 minute each. Encouragement and loving touch seemed about all that you needed, reminders to keep the tension out of your shoulders, neck, and face. Your complete relaxation had those around you entranced. Between contractions, we offered you water and reassurance, and you offered us grins that all was well.
Shortly after I arrived, during one such time between contractions, your eyes were not as cloudless, nor your smile as strong, and I watched your shoulders pull up during the next contraction while your toes flexed away from your body. You were beginning to physically pull yourself away from your womb.
I sensed in my spirit that you knew you were coming upon the last stretch of labor and had a silently harbored fear of the next stage – a disbelief in your own abilities. So, with the next rest between contractions, we talked about what your pushing contractions might feel like, how your body was meant for this act, and to not be afraid of the contractions. I encouraged you that, when you felt the desire to pull away in unease, to instead immerse yourself in the contraction, giving in to it and going deep into it.
About 10 minutes later, you felt your first real grunty pushy contractions at about 2 minutes apart. Eric knew immediately what it was and looked up to me with a huge grin on his face before moving his mouth down next to your ear once more to praise you and whisper affectionately to you.
After a few more of these, which seemed to be getting slightly more demanding, you decided to try another position. So, we assisted you in switching to your other side, which was hindered slightly from cramping ligaments. At this point, you felt a strong push contraction and you followed your body’s cue to yoller her down.
It only took one more of this type of contraction for you to know that you no longer wanted your legs together on your side. So Linda, who had arrived back in your room a short time ago, Eric, and I helped you into a sitting position with your knees falling outward. Immediately a look of self possession and purpose came over your face. Your eyes were no longer clouded as your body unfolded, strong and purposeful, yet soft and supple.
With your next contraction, you again began pulled away from the contraction, but it only took a reminder from Linda to envision your body like a “J”, curving down to meet your baby, and myself to sink deep into the contraction and listen to your body. You transformed, in that instant, from a laboring woman into a vessel which channeled an Energy more powerful than yourself, one that you could not contain, but only give into – relinquishing the last visages of control. Gave up and gave in – you began birthing!
Your baby and your body worked in perfect harmony and Molly began to descend rapidly. Lost to the world of midwives and doulas, coaches and hospital rooms, you travelled into Laborland – the only inhabitants being yourself, your baby, and the Energy. Opening your mouth wide and singing her down, your body followed suit and Molly moved to +2/3 station with an intact bag of water. Linda continued pressure on her head with the next contraction and your bag burst, baptizing Eric’s waiting hands in a rush of warm water.
You were utterly and completely given over to labor, working with your body, moving it slightly right and left, lifting your hips, and pulling your knees apart, all the while vocalizing Molly down the birth canal. A work of art – wrought in nature’s design and God’s purpose. It took my strong grip on your shoulder, and Eric and Linda together nearly yelling your name to bring you back to the present time. Slowly, Linda urged; so as to keep you intact, slowly Jill.
Molly descended the last bit, fully to crowning, and was born up to her neck with one contraction. I barely had time to spin around and get the camera ready. Eric was poised to catch, and your body at last gave you a short break before the final wave crashed over your body and out of your womb. Molly rotated slightly, her shoulder slipped free, and she slid into Eric’s waiting hands. Immediately both you and Eric began laughing, joy immeasurable. She was Captivating. She was Beloved!
Welcome Molly Rebekah!
7lbs 8ozs 19.25 inches long
Born September 1st at 2:20am
9.01.2007
Oh Baby!
Lovely - absolutely lovely. I am tired beyond all reason, having functioned today on about 2.5 hours of sleep. My wonderful momma Jillian, expecting #5, went into labor last evening and had her beautiful little one this a.m., early. I will be coming on later to post her birthstory (ala doula POV) after I have gotten it fine tuned and reread on a full night's sleep.
On another note. A wonderful 2VBAC momma is due in late November. She and I have been talking about her options as it seems the local CNM group has asked her, in the most polite way possible, to look elsewhere for care as she refused the 20 week U/S. Beyond that, they want continuous EFM and heplocks... Two more things that this momma cannot, in her right mind, justify with the studies saying what they do...
As all of the homebirth MWs in our area are booked for her EDD, she had decided on a hospital birth with the CNMs... In our area, OBs are not VBAC friendly, per sae. So now she is looking at a CPM who would allow her to birth out of the MWs home... only problem, she lives 3 hours away and the mommas last birth was just over 4 hours.
Hmmm... We have been talking about any other options she might have, including unassisted. She asked if I would be willing to attend... my heart says yes, because I believe in what she is doing.. my head says wait...
This should not be an issue. She has had a VBAC already with her last baby, and she has done beautifully. She has had a homebirth with her last baby, and did beautifully. Even if it were not so, she should still be able to retain her basic rights without having to fight for them or be sapped of her God given right for joy at this time in her life.
I need sleep. I will write again tomorrow.. politics and birthstories... I hope to have them up by tomorrow evening... at the latest, LABOR day. :o)
On another note. A wonderful 2VBAC momma is due in late November. She and I have been talking about her options as it seems the local CNM group has asked her, in the most polite way possible, to look elsewhere for care as she refused the 20 week U/S. Beyond that, they want continuous EFM and heplocks... Two more things that this momma cannot, in her right mind, justify with the studies saying what they do...
As all of the homebirth MWs in our area are booked for her EDD, she had decided on a hospital birth with the CNMs... In our area, OBs are not VBAC friendly, per sae. So now she is looking at a CPM who would allow her to birth out of the MWs home... only problem, she lives 3 hours away and the mommas last birth was just over 4 hours.
Hmmm... We have been talking about any other options she might have, including unassisted. She asked if I would be willing to attend... my heart says yes, because I believe in what she is doing.. my head says wait...
This should not be an issue. She has had a VBAC already with her last baby, and she has done beautifully. She has had a homebirth with her last baby, and did beautifully. Even if it were not so, she should still be able to retain her basic rights without having to fight for them or be sapped of her God given right for joy at this time in her life.
I need sleep. I will write again tomorrow.. politics and birthstories... I hope to have them up by tomorrow evening... at the latest, LABOR day. :o)
8.29.2007
Eleora Mae
Another Internet friend's birthstory:
Apparently my stomach started to look different Saturday night according to my mom and Trupe…but NO one told me! I really wanted her to be born Saturday for my own neurotic reasons (My mom was due with me on the 25th of October and I was born the 28th. I was due with Trupie on the 25th of September and he born the 10th-my birth month. Mom was due with Pj on the 17th of December and he was born the 20th of November. I was due with Ele on the 17th of August, and thought that if she’d be born on the 12th, her birthday month and day would add up to equal 20. Yes, I am THAT neurotic to think of things like that!) But 8/13/06 didn’t really fit anything…not to mention only one other person in our immediate families was born on an odd day, so that made it even more interesting!
Anyways. I didn’t get to bed until almost 2am on Sunday. I’m thinking my son sensed that something was going on major and thus would NOT go to bed. He told me at 1am that he was hungry, and so I made him some oatmeal. Then nigh-nights to sleep, and I laid him down with Trupe. I finished reading a birth story I had been reading and went to bed after stopping to potty (and checking my cervix, I’d had such long contractions and a bit of bloody show I was hoping something was going on. I was about 5cm dilated and the water bag was starting to bubble out into my cervix.). At 3:38 am I was awoken with the urge to pee and a monster contraction. This one was so different from all the others. And I’d had a variety of contractions.
The night before I had some that lasted 4-5 minutes and took my breath away. But this one was quick. I knew right away I was in labor because it reminded me of menstrual cramps (and it only makes sense that they feel like really BAD menstrual cramps because in both cases the uterus is trying to empty itself). After it was over I went to the bathroom then got back in bed. I checked the time every time I had a contraction until 4:02 when my son rolled from his bed (a side-carred crib on my side of the bed) into our bed. I knew I could NOT nurse through these contractions and I didn’t want to risk waking him up, so I got up and went into the bathroom. I decided to sit on the toilet in case I needed to “empty out” first, and also because I had read in a number of birth stories that contracting on the toilet was fairly comfortable. Um…WRONG in my case! They were awful on the toilet.
So I got a towel and a pillow and laid on the bathroom floor. During all this I read this verse: “But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever. I will praise You forever for what You have done; in Your name I will hope, for Your name is good. I will praise You in the presence of Your saints.” Psalm 52:8-9 and tried to focus on that thought.
At about 5 I thought I needed some support other than my own mind so I woke up Trupe. He woke right up and seemed ok (although he told me later he was scared half to death!). He told me had been having a dream and in that dream he heard the baby crying inside me. Wow! So we went into the bathroom and he got me some food (a tortilla) and some frozen orange juice mix and some water. I decided a few minutes later that I wanted to go into the living room because the bathroom floor was kind of cold, so we set up shop in there. I laid down on my side and Trupe read to me (Psalm 146 and Psalm 147). Then I had to move. I tried squatting over a pile of pillows and that felt pretty good for the next few contractions. Then it started to hurt too bad so we stood up. That felt ok for a few contractions, then it started to hurt too bad also. I thought maybe I’d like to lean over the back of the couch, so we moved the towels over there and Trupe got some garbage bags to put under them. Leaning over the back of the couch didn’t help either. So I decided it was time to get in the bathtub.
The bathtub was nice for a while, I laid back against the back and had a few bearable contractions. Then they started to hurt deep inside my hips. Getting onto my hands and knees seemed like the only possible comfortable position, but getting there was sooo hard. I felt like I weight 8000 pounds and could barely roll myself over, let alone get up on my knees in time for the contraction. I was starting to lose my cool by this time for sure. I decided to check my cervix, it was probably about a 6, very soft, and the waters were very bulgy. I was sincerely tempted to break them (especially since the mess would be nicely contained in the tub), but her head was still high and I was terrified of the intensity increase it would cause. So I got out of the tub.
We went back behind the couch. I remembered reading in another story that the lady giving birth asked God for a break, so I asked God for a break. He slowed my contractions down a bit and I slept between a handful of them. It was a very needed little break! Thank You Jesus!! They started coming a lot closer right after that, and after being shown such mercy I started going against God and telling Him “no God, no God” and asking Him to stop the pain, crying out that I couldn’t do it anymore, that I didn’t ever want to do it again, and that I just wanted to go to the hospital and have an epidural. (My mom woke up about this time and was nearly scared to death. She asked what I was doing and why we weren’t going to the birth center. I just said no. I was biting the back of the couch and nearly screaming-the only thing keeping me from screaming was the thought of my son sleeping down the hall. I didn’t want to scare him. My mom said later that she figured I was close, so she went and made coffee. Her reasoning-it’s a soothing smell.
At first I was furious that she was making coffee…I was HAVING A BABY! But then I smelled it and it smelled sooooo good. Way to go Mom-intuition!!) Trupe was so awesome. He sat right beside me-putting pressure on my back if needed, although by this point it just made the pain worse, so he was just verbally supporting me-praying for me, asking God to give me strength, telling me that God had an endless supply to give, and telling me that I could do this. He is such an awesome husband! If he would have shown me a second of faithlessness I would have been on my way to the hospital! But we would have had to pull over somewhere to give birth because almost immediately after that it was time to push. Trupe helped me refocus on God and His plan and now I started saying “ok God, ok God, ok God”, submitting myself and my body to Him.
The contractions felt better (still hurt, but enough of difference for me to notice). I was still freaked out though and I begged God for things to be near the end, I had to be done I told Him, she had to come out now. I checked my cervix again and it felt HUGE…I couldn’t even try to measure it though, I was getting primal. My body was starting to push…but that darn bag of waters that ruptured before labor with my son just wouldn’t go this time. I felt that God was telling me that now was the time to break it myself, so pinched at it with my middle finger and thumb. It was soo bulgy though that it was hard to get any between my fingers to pinch. I wiped my hand off and tried again. This time I could get it, but the tissue was sooo strong, I couldn’t break it. “Please God, get her out now!” and I finally tore through a tiny piece. I pushed a little to make the water come out. I wanted to check and see if it was clear, but I knew it didn’t matter.
Suddenly I got that burning sensation (although really not that badly) and I knew what was coming next. My body completely took over, no more thinking, just PUUUUUSSSSSSHHHHHH. I was moaning and grunting through the pushes and it was amazing. It didn’t feel “good” but it felt empowering and fulfilling and so spiritual. Her head was getting close to crowning and Mom kept asking Trupe if he could see it. I told her he didn’t need to because I could feel it. Then I started yelling for a hot washcloth for my perineum (I’d had an episiotomy-which my husband thinks in retrospect I did NOT need-thank you doctor-with my son)…but I also remembered that you can tear forward too. Trupe put the hot washcloth on me and held it through a push or two. As she was crowning I realized that I felt burning in the front. Frankly, I’ll take the tear in the back, so I told him I needed the washcloth up front. No time though, more pushing, so I used my fingers as best I could to try to manipulate the skin back out of the way. Burning burning burning and finally her head was out. My mom says she’ll never forget the look on Trupe’s face as he realized what he was looking at (and how close he was, he had bent down within inches of it). He said he thought it was neck skin at first, but then recognized eyes and cheeks and a nose. He said her face was moving in astonishment!
I could picture his face and it warms my heart. I checked to see if there was a cord around her neck, and there wasn’t. Then back to pushing, and her shoulders came out easily. My mom had her hand under Ele’s head and just kind of caught her gently as she finished being born. Trupe said there was a lot of fluid after she came out…and that makes sense since her head was well applied to my cervix and not much had come out. I snapped back to reality-to humanity when I heard gurgling and told them to put her face down with her head lower than her body to help her drain. They maneuvered her around to me as I sat down so I could hold her. She had a short cord just like her brother so holding her to nurse was a bit difficult. I had to continually make sure her cord wasn’t being pulled on. Trupe went and woke Trupie up moments later to meet his new baby sister. He was such a sweetheart and just stared at her. Over the course of her first hour, he came over to her and talked to her, hugged her and kissed her, said she was hungry and needed nigh-nights, and even told her to open her mouth (so she could nurse). What a sweet boy!
She nursed pretty much right away…maybe 15 minutes after birth. Some pretty intense contractions ensued again after a bit of break and I realized the placenta would be coming eventually. When she was about an hour old, the placenta finally made its appearance accompanied by some deep-grunting pushing. Trupe and Trupie walked back over to see what was going on just as it slid out. Trupie, in true man form gagged at the sight and turned around and walked away. Trupe was so proud.
I did tear a bit both ways I think, I’ve only looked once. But the pain is nothing compared to the recovery from my small episiotomy with my son. 38 hours later and my bleeding is already pretty light. After pains are well, painful, especially when I nurse both of them together.
This was such an amazing experience…we’re all kind of riding the wave still. We’ll never forget this, we are so blessed to have such an awesome God who guided us through this most intimate experience.
Apparently my stomach started to look different Saturday night according to my mom and Trupe…but NO one told me! I really wanted her to be born Saturday for my own neurotic reasons (My mom was due with me on the 25th of October and I was born the 28th. I was due with Trupie on the 25th of September and he born the 10th-my birth month. Mom was due with Pj on the 17th of December and he was born the 20th of November. I was due with Ele on the 17th of August, and thought that if she’d be born on the 12th, her birthday month and day would add up to equal 20. Yes, I am THAT neurotic to think of things like that!) But 8/13/06 didn’t really fit anything…not to mention only one other person in our immediate families was born on an odd day, so that made it even more interesting!
Anyways. I didn’t get to bed until almost 2am on Sunday. I’m thinking my son sensed that something was going on major and thus would NOT go to bed. He told me at 1am that he was hungry, and so I made him some oatmeal. Then nigh-nights to sleep, and I laid him down with Trupe. I finished reading a birth story I had been reading and went to bed after stopping to potty (and checking my cervix, I’d had such long contractions and a bit of bloody show I was hoping something was going on. I was about 5cm dilated and the water bag was starting to bubble out into my cervix.). At 3:38 am I was awoken with the urge to pee and a monster contraction. This one was so different from all the others. And I’d had a variety of contractions.
The night before I had some that lasted 4-5 minutes and took my breath away. But this one was quick. I knew right away I was in labor because it reminded me of menstrual cramps (and it only makes sense that they feel like really BAD menstrual cramps because in both cases the uterus is trying to empty itself). After it was over I went to the bathroom then got back in bed. I checked the time every time I had a contraction until 4:02 when my son rolled from his bed (a side-carred crib on my side of the bed) into our bed. I knew I could NOT nurse through these contractions and I didn’t want to risk waking him up, so I got up and went into the bathroom. I decided to sit on the toilet in case I needed to “empty out” first, and also because I had read in a number of birth stories that contracting on the toilet was fairly comfortable. Um…WRONG in my case! They were awful on the toilet.
So I got a towel and a pillow and laid on the bathroom floor. During all this I read this verse: “But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever. I will praise You forever for what You have done; in Your name I will hope, for Your name is good. I will praise You in the presence of Your saints.” Psalm 52:8-9 and tried to focus on that thought.
At about 5 I thought I needed some support other than my own mind so I woke up Trupe. He woke right up and seemed ok (although he told me later he was scared half to death!). He told me had been having a dream and in that dream he heard the baby crying inside me. Wow! So we went into the bathroom and he got me some food (a tortilla) and some frozen orange juice mix and some water. I decided a few minutes later that I wanted to go into the living room because the bathroom floor was kind of cold, so we set up shop in there. I laid down on my side and Trupe read to me (Psalm 146 and Psalm 147). Then I had to move. I tried squatting over a pile of pillows and that felt pretty good for the next few contractions. Then it started to hurt too bad so we stood up. That felt ok for a few contractions, then it started to hurt too bad also. I thought maybe I’d like to lean over the back of the couch, so we moved the towels over there and Trupe got some garbage bags to put under them. Leaning over the back of the couch didn’t help either. So I decided it was time to get in the bathtub.
The bathtub was nice for a while, I laid back against the back and had a few bearable contractions. Then they started to hurt deep inside my hips. Getting onto my hands and knees seemed like the only possible comfortable position, but getting there was sooo hard. I felt like I weight 8000 pounds and could barely roll myself over, let alone get up on my knees in time for the contraction. I was starting to lose my cool by this time for sure. I decided to check my cervix, it was probably about a 6, very soft, and the waters were very bulgy. I was sincerely tempted to break them (especially since the mess would be nicely contained in the tub), but her head was still high and I was terrified of the intensity increase it would cause. So I got out of the tub.
We went back behind the couch. I remembered reading in another story that the lady giving birth asked God for a break, so I asked God for a break. He slowed my contractions down a bit and I slept between a handful of them. It was a very needed little break! Thank You Jesus!! They started coming a lot closer right after that, and after being shown such mercy I started going against God and telling Him “no God, no God” and asking Him to stop the pain, crying out that I couldn’t do it anymore, that I didn’t ever want to do it again, and that I just wanted to go to the hospital and have an epidural. (My mom woke up about this time and was nearly scared to death. She asked what I was doing and why we weren’t going to the birth center. I just said no. I was biting the back of the couch and nearly screaming-the only thing keeping me from screaming was the thought of my son sleeping down the hall. I didn’t want to scare him. My mom said later that she figured I was close, so she went and made coffee. Her reasoning-it’s a soothing smell.
At first I was furious that she was making coffee…I was HAVING A BABY! But then I smelled it and it smelled sooooo good. Way to go Mom-intuition!!) Trupe was so awesome. He sat right beside me-putting pressure on my back if needed, although by this point it just made the pain worse, so he was just verbally supporting me-praying for me, asking God to give me strength, telling me that God had an endless supply to give, and telling me that I could do this. He is such an awesome husband! If he would have shown me a second of faithlessness I would have been on my way to the hospital! But we would have had to pull over somewhere to give birth because almost immediately after that it was time to push. Trupe helped me refocus on God and His plan and now I started saying “ok God, ok God, ok God”, submitting myself and my body to Him.
The contractions felt better (still hurt, but enough of difference for me to notice). I was still freaked out though and I begged God for things to be near the end, I had to be done I told Him, she had to come out now. I checked my cervix again and it felt HUGE…I couldn’t even try to measure it though, I was getting primal. My body was starting to push…but that darn bag of waters that ruptured before labor with my son just wouldn’t go this time. I felt that God was telling me that now was the time to break it myself, so pinched at it with my middle finger and thumb. It was soo bulgy though that it was hard to get any between my fingers to pinch. I wiped my hand off and tried again. This time I could get it, but the tissue was sooo strong, I couldn’t break it. “Please God, get her out now!” and I finally tore through a tiny piece. I pushed a little to make the water come out. I wanted to check and see if it was clear, but I knew it didn’t matter.
Suddenly I got that burning sensation (although really not that badly) and I knew what was coming next. My body completely took over, no more thinking, just PUUUUUSSSSSSHHHHHH. I was moaning and grunting through the pushes and it was amazing. It didn’t feel “good” but it felt empowering and fulfilling and so spiritual. Her head was getting close to crowning and Mom kept asking Trupe if he could see it. I told her he didn’t need to because I could feel it. Then I started yelling for a hot washcloth for my perineum (I’d had an episiotomy-which my husband thinks in retrospect I did NOT need-thank you doctor-with my son)…but I also remembered that you can tear forward too. Trupe put the hot washcloth on me and held it through a push or two. As she was crowning I realized that I felt burning in the front. Frankly, I’ll take the tear in the back, so I told him I needed the washcloth up front. No time though, more pushing, so I used my fingers as best I could to try to manipulate the skin back out of the way. Burning burning burning and finally her head was out. My mom says she’ll never forget the look on Trupe’s face as he realized what he was looking at (and how close he was, he had bent down within inches of it). He said he thought it was neck skin at first, but then recognized eyes and cheeks and a nose. He said her face was moving in astonishment!
I could picture his face and it warms my heart. I checked to see if there was a cord around her neck, and there wasn’t. Then back to pushing, and her shoulders came out easily. My mom had her hand under Ele’s head and just kind of caught her gently as she finished being born. Trupe said there was a lot of fluid after she came out…and that makes sense since her head was well applied to my cervix and not much had come out. I snapped back to reality-to humanity when I heard gurgling and told them to put her face down with her head lower than her body to help her drain. They maneuvered her around to me as I sat down so I could hold her. She had a short cord just like her brother so holding her to nurse was a bit difficult. I had to continually make sure her cord wasn’t being pulled on. Trupe went and woke Trupie up moments later to meet his new baby sister. He was such a sweetheart and just stared at her. Over the course of her first hour, he came over to her and talked to her, hugged her and kissed her, said she was hungry and needed nigh-nights, and even told her to open her mouth (so she could nurse). What a sweet boy!
She nursed pretty much right away…maybe 15 minutes after birth. Some pretty intense contractions ensued again after a bit of break and I realized the placenta would be coming eventually. When she was about an hour old, the placenta finally made its appearance accompanied by some deep-grunting pushing. Trupe and Trupie walked back over to see what was going on just as it slid out. Trupie, in true man form gagged at the sight and turned around and walked away. Trupe was so proud.
I did tear a bit both ways I think, I’ve only looked once. But the pain is nothing compared to the recovery from my small episiotomy with my son. 38 hours later and my bleeding is already pretty light. After pains are well, painful, especially when I nurse both of them together.
This was such an amazing experience…we’re all kind of riding the wave still. We’ll never forget this, we are so blessed to have such an awesome God who guided us through this most intimate experience.
Birth of Angel
An internet friend's birthstory:
Well first let me give some background information. I’m an American living in China with my husband who is from Nigeria. We are English teachers here in a province called Shandong. We live in a small city near some very famous mountains in China. We have a one and a half year old son who was born by emergency c-section in the States. We were going to have him at a birth center but had to transfer quickly to a hospital because of a prolapsed cord.
So now I found out I was pregnant again, here in China. My first plan was to go to Beijing like most foreigners and use a Chinese hospital for foreigners there, but the hospital I planned on using was not a good option for me. They wanted me to come every two weeks for an appointment and considered me a high risk pregnancy. I live 8 hours from Beijing and work full-time so that was not something I could do. I then thought about using one of the international hospitals there but the price range was way out of our budget. So we finally settled on using a local Chinese hospital here in the city where I live. When we asked questions they told us everything we wanted to hear. For example, that my husband could be in the delivery room with me, which is usually never allowed here in China. And that they would allow me to do a vbac, which also is not common here in China. I’d have a private room and all the likes. So we settled. I soon found out they were not honest with me. Right before us in Chinese they were saying that they would do a c-section and my husband couldn’t be there. They wouldn’t take a chance on a vbac. I thought they were saying this but I didn’t believe it, till I brought a Chinese friend who interpreted clearly what they were saying. As far as they knew we didn’t know any Chinese. To be honest we only know very little Chinese but I could tell from the bits and pieces of Chinese that I know what they were discussing.
So once it was near my birth they went ahead and told me that they couldn’t allow me to do a vbac. They said I’d need an operation and they couldn’t allow my husband to be there with me. I was 38 weeks by that time. My husband and I prayed and decided to do an unassisted natural birth at home then go to the hospital as soon as the baby was born and say “wups, she came so fast.” It was just God that led us to do this. During this time, I found some natural childbirth sites and forums and also some unassisted childbirth forums. Our internet here in China went down for a while because of the Taiwan Earthquake and the only sites I could get were the sites on unassisted childbirth, all the other foreign sites wouldn’t come. Isn’t that interesting? So I read a lot and was encouraged a lot through other woman on the unassisted childbirth forum and the birth stories I read.
The day I went into labor:
It was Tuesday Feb 6 and my due date was Feb 1st. I woke up in the morning with very bad Diarrhea from something I ate the night before. I had been having false labors for the past 3 weeks, where contractions would start and go for a couple hours then stop and not come back. So when I felt contractions every so often, I considered it was just another false call or that it was part of the Diarrhea cramps. I noticed they were coming about every 15 minutes. I had also known that the baby was posterior position. I had been praying she would turn but as far as I knew she hadn’t turned yet. I’d also been getting on all fours and sleeping on my left side and the likes, but nothing had worked. So through out Tuesday I had contractions every 15 minutes. In the night they became a little stronger. I couldn’t sleep so I got up to walk through some of the contractions but I clearly heard the Lord’s voice speak to my heart. He told me to lie down and get rest because I would need it for the next day. I could sense His presence with me in a sweet way. It was special but I don’t know how to explain what I felt.
The next morning I hadn’t really slept, just rested because I couldn’t sleep through the contractions. I got up and told my husband I’d had contractions all night and thought this might be the real thing. He had a friend who was supposed to come over so I told him to call and cancel the appointment. I didn’t want anyone there but us. We were on our semester holiday so neither of us were working at the time. All morning and afternoon the contractions continued to come every 15 minutes. I emailed my mother in the States and let her know what was happening. I also got on some pregnancy and birth forums and started reading unassisted birth stories. I continued to stay in a prayerful mood through out the day and just prayed.
About 4 pm the contractions got stronger and a little more painful. They were coming about every 10 minutes. I put on praise and worship music and began to dance and sing. Soon my husband and one year old son joined me. It was so much fun. We got lost in worship for a couple hours. The worship was so sweet. A peaceful and loving presence filled the room and we knew the Lord was telling us He was there and everything would be ok. I didn’t feel like wearing clothes so I didn’t. We just danced and worshiped and had a good time. About 33336:30pm a bloody glob fell from me onto the floor. Yuk! That was my mucus plug. We cleaned it up and continued to dance. Contractions were now coming every 5 minutes. About 6:45 my water broke. It was just a little water, not a whole lot like with my son. I kept thinking more water would come but only a little more water came. We continued to dance and worship after cleaning up the water then around 7:30pm contractions got intense and very painful. They were about every 3 to 4 minutes. I felt like pushing with them. In fact, I tried not to push but it was impossible. My husband continued to pray while my son ran about the house laughing and playing and from time to time, bending beside his Mommy. As the contractions got more intense I got on my knees and leaned over the sofa with each contraction. I had to cry out during some of the intense contractions which made my son a little nervous. He’d come and rub my back with his Daddy. Surprisingly, it was not back labor which is common with posterior babies, but it was butt labor. Man, my butt was killing me with each contraction.
My husband continued to pray and began to read some Scriptures to me during the contractions. We kept the praise and worship music playing and from time to time in between contractions I would dance and worship or pray. During contractions I would either stand or get on my knees and lean over the couch and push. I found it extremely painful to sit or lie down during contractions. I had to stand or kneel in an upright position. Sometimes I’d stand and bend over something and push with the contractions.
That day I had eaten oatmeal for breakfast and a cheese sandwich for lunch at about 11:30am, but that was it. By 10:00pm I was getting exhausted and discouraged. It didn’t feel like the baby was moving and I didn’t know how much more I could take. I was sweating, even though I was wearing nothing. I decided to get in a hot shower. The contractions would last about 40-50 seconds but were extremely painful. I thought they should be lasting one to two minutes, but were glad they weren’t. I took a hot shower and contemplated transferring to the hospital even if it meant getting another c-section, but then I remembered that most birth stories said that just when you feel like you can’t take any more is usually when the baby is just about to come. My husband encouraged me with prayer and scripture. Warrior my son, fell asleep about this time.
When I came out the bathroom, I started to dance and sway my hips thinking that if the baby is stuck this might help get her past my pelvis bones or wherever she was. Also as we danced and praised the Lord, I felt peace and strength come. It seemed this worked. The next contraction I dropped into a squat automatically and my husband grabbed me under my arms and supported my weight. I felt her move down a lot, and then I felt the burning sensation as her head was coming. I think it was her head. We never saw exactly how she came out. I remember feeling it and oh how it scared me. It didn’t feel like a head. It felt like my fingers went into something. The doctor who came to help us after the birth said it was probably her nose. Looking at her and hearing me describe the birth; he felt she came out face first. So anyway, when I felt her head or whatever coming, I got on my hands and knees and asked my husband to look but she went back in. He didn’t see anything. I got up again and did a supported squat with the next contractions and felt the burning sensation again like her head was coming. I did short pushes as the burning sensation increased, pushing her little by little. Then I did one huge push that I couldn’t control and out she flew onto the blanket we had underneath me; her whole body. I said, “What was that!” My husband said, “She’s out and on the floor.” Quickly, I sat down and lifter her. She was so slimy and slippery. I was afraid I’d drop her. I put her over my knees and she sneezed and cried right away, then we laid her on my stomach and waited for the placenta to come.
Once I delivered the placenta, my husband put it in a bowl and we let the baby nurse from me. I was totally exhausted and could barely walk so my husband fixed up the bed and helped me get to the bed. At that point my husband boiled scissors and string in water and cut the cord. I didn’t want to go to the hospital though my husband strongly advised me that we should go that night. I persuaded him to wait till morning. However, I had to go to the bathroom really bad. So I gave the baby to my husband and tried to go to the bathroom. After going to the bathroom, I fainted on my way back to the room. The next thing I remember was my husband standing over me with the baby calling my name. At that time we both decided it was best to get to a hospital right away. I called the American Doctor who lived right next door to us. He’s an American that use to be a doctor in America, but now teaches English and medical English here at the university. He came over immediately, in less than two minutes. When he examined the situation, he said I didn’t faint from blood loss; there wasn’t too much blood loss. He delivered over 300 babies in the States. He said I probably fainted from dehydration and lack of food.
The after birth story (My trip to the hospital)
We called a doctor at the hospital that speaks a little English and told her we needed an Ambulance right away. The American Doctor checked me and the baby and the placenta while we waited for the Ambulance. The Ambulance people came but, we and the American doctor couldn’t speak Chinese and they didn’t know any English so they didn’t quite understand what had happened. I was still laying on the floor where I had fainted because every time I tried to get up I felt very dizzy. They took me downstairs (We live on the third floor in an apartment building) and put me in the Ambulance but didn’t know that my husband, the baby who’d just been born, the American Doctor and my son were all supposed to come with me. Off they went with me in the Ambulance with out my husband, the baby, my son or the American Doctor. The American doctor helped them take me out to the Ambulance and went back to get my son, my husband and the baby and while they were preparing to come, the Ambulance had already left with me in it.
When we got to the hospital they started asking me for money in Chinese. Here, they don’t do anything till you pay first. Well, I didn’t even have on my shoes or anything. My husband had quickly dressed me before the ambulance people came so I just had on a shirt and jeans. I didn’t bring my cell phone cause I thought my husband was coming with me. And they couldn’t understand a word I was saying. Finally they rolled me upstairs to a room with a desk in it and left me there. A doctor came in and took my blood pressure, then left me on the stretcher for a long time. After about 20 minutes and no one around and having no idea where I was, I thought about getting up and walking out and taking a taxi back home, but physically I felt dizzy and didn’t think I could make it on my own. I thought I’d be there all night like that.
Finally a doctor and nurse came in and in Chinese were asking me what was wrong. I kept saying in English “I just had a baby!” They couldn’t understand me, so we repeated that a couple times then they left to look for someone who knew a little English. Finally they returned with a man. “He asked me what was wrong in English. I told him I just had a baby. He asked me where’s the baby and I said with my husband, but he didn’t understand the word husband. I tried to act it out but it was no use. Finally he said is the baby dead or alive. I told him, “alive, of course, Alive and healthy.” Then he asked again, where is the baby. I uselessly tried to explain he was with my husband and they were on their way to the hospital but he didn’t know English well enough to fully understand what I was saying.
Meanwhile, my husband, son, daughter who’d just been born and the American doctor were all trying to find a way to the hospital since the Ambulance had left them behind. They searched for a Taxi and couldn’t find one cause by then it was almost 2am. They decided to walk to the hospital since it was only 10 minutes from the house. That was crazy. Baby just born, wrapped in a towel, still sticky and with blood on her, being carried to the hospital in Febuary weather, cold and winter about 2 hours after she’s born. My husband, the Doctor, our one year old son Warrior and The baby all walked to the hospital at almost 2am. Well, the kids being carried, of course. What a crazy thing. They get to the hospital and can’t find me. They went to the emergency room and the people there didn’t know where they had taken me. They found the English speaking Chinese doctor who had called the Ambulance for me and she was looking all over for me and couldn’t find me. She started calling every department in the hospital and finally located the place where they had taken me. She yelled at the people in that department for them to bring me down to her. And so finally they brought me down to the labor and delivery department where I saw my husband, son and the American Doctor. So of course, I was like where’s the baby, ready to have a fit. “The doctors are checking her,” my husband said and the nurse quickly took me to her when she saw the look on my face. They knew momma wanted that baby close to her. So from then on they kept the baby within my seeing distance while they checked her. Everything was good. They took me to a hospital room with about four other Chinese women in it all waiting to have c-sections. They told me they were sorry but they didn’t have any private rooms. All eyes were on us because we were foreigners. And people kept coming and staring at me and the baby. They would just stand there over us and stare. It was like… really annoying after a while.
My husband left about 4am to find someone to look after our son. The American Doctor stayed with me and boy was I glad. He knew the English and Chinese med. names for most things and shots and medications so he was able to explain everything they wanted to do to me or give me. He was an advocate for me too. If I said, “No,” to something for me or the baby, He’d make sure they didn’t give it. They did give me pitocin to help control the bleeding and a few shots, I forget what they were and an IV but that was it. The IV was because I was majorly dehydrated and that’s why I felt so dizzy.
My husband came back about 8am and had cooked me a nice breakfast. No offense but I was use to my American style breakfast, not the Chinese style breakfast the hospital offered. So I was so glad to see my husband with that wonderful breakfast. He had gone home and cleaned the house and prepared the breakfast and dropped my son off with a friend. Then we demanded that the hospital release me and the baby so we could go home and rest. They made us wait till noon but then they let us go. All the Chinese were totally amazed. They usually stay in the hospital 6-8 days for a natural birth and 8-10 days for a C-section. They couldn’t believe that I was walking out the hospital less then 12 hours after coming. They kept staring at us as if they were shocked.
A few days later we went back for a check up and also got the birth certificate for the baby with no problems. Now we can apply for her American Passport. The baby was 8.9 pounds at birth. However they miss-interpreted the birth weight when translating grams to pounds and told me she was less then 6 pounds. For the whole first week, I believed it. Till I looked up the grams weight on her birth cert and translated it to pounds. Then I confirmed it with the hospital on my next appointment.
So that’s the story of my Daughter’s birth. Her name is Precious Angel Ijoama Ndaguba. When she gets older I’ll have a really fun birth story to tell her about. She was born here in China, with a Nigerian Father and American Mother. What an international Child. She’s such an easy and sweet baby. She sleeps a lot and is growing heavier and fatter each day. She’s on breast milk only, but I do pump a lot and my husband feeds her my milk with a bottle sometimes. Right now she is two weeks old and I have to start back to work, one month after her birth so I’ve got to use the bottle anyway. Also it’s hard to get her to latch the right way. She makes my breast so soar sometimes. Well that’s all. I believe she will do great things in life and her brother loves her so much. Now we have two kids under two years old and it’s a lot of work but we feel very blessed and privileged to be their parents. We are one big, growing, happy family. My husband and I plan to have as many children as God gives us. We are not using birth control. So that’s all.
Well first let me give some background information. I’m an American living in China with my husband who is from Nigeria. We are English teachers here in a province called Shandong. We live in a small city near some very famous mountains in China. We have a one and a half year old son who was born by emergency c-section in the States. We were going to have him at a birth center but had to transfer quickly to a hospital because of a prolapsed cord.
So now I found out I was pregnant again, here in China. My first plan was to go to Beijing like most foreigners and use a Chinese hospital for foreigners there, but the hospital I planned on using was not a good option for me. They wanted me to come every two weeks for an appointment and considered me a high risk pregnancy. I live 8 hours from Beijing and work full-time so that was not something I could do. I then thought about using one of the international hospitals there but the price range was way out of our budget. So we finally settled on using a local Chinese hospital here in the city where I live. When we asked questions they told us everything we wanted to hear. For example, that my husband could be in the delivery room with me, which is usually never allowed here in China. And that they would allow me to do a vbac, which also is not common here in China. I’d have a private room and all the likes. So we settled. I soon found out they were not honest with me. Right before us in Chinese they were saying that they would do a c-section and my husband couldn’t be there. They wouldn’t take a chance on a vbac. I thought they were saying this but I didn’t believe it, till I brought a Chinese friend who interpreted clearly what they were saying. As far as they knew we didn’t know any Chinese. To be honest we only know very little Chinese but I could tell from the bits and pieces of Chinese that I know what they were discussing.
So once it was near my birth they went ahead and told me that they couldn’t allow me to do a vbac. They said I’d need an operation and they couldn’t allow my husband to be there with me. I was 38 weeks by that time. My husband and I prayed and decided to do an unassisted natural birth at home then go to the hospital as soon as the baby was born and say “wups, she came so fast.” It was just God that led us to do this. During this time, I found some natural childbirth sites and forums and also some unassisted childbirth forums. Our internet here in China went down for a while because of the Taiwan Earthquake and the only sites I could get were the sites on unassisted childbirth, all the other foreign sites wouldn’t come. Isn’t that interesting? So I read a lot and was encouraged a lot through other woman on the unassisted childbirth forum and the birth stories I read.
The day I went into labor:
It was Tuesday Feb 6 and my due date was Feb 1st. I woke up in the morning with very bad Diarrhea from something I ate the night before. I had been having false labors for the past 3 weeks, where contractions would start and go for a couple hours then stop and not come back. So when I felt contractions every so often, I considered it was just another false call or that it was part of the Diarrhea cramps. I noticed they were coming about every 15 minutes. I had also known that the baby was posterior position. I had been praying she would turn but as far as I knew she hadn’t turned yet. I’d also been getting on all fours and sleeping on my left side and the likes, but nothing had worked. So through out Tuesday I had contractions every 15 minutes. In the night they became a little stronger. I couldn’t sleep so I got up to walk through some of the contractions but I clearly heard the Lord’s voice speak to my heart. He told me to lie down and get rest because I would need it for the next day. I could sense His presence with me in a sweet way. It was special but I don’t know how to explain what I felt.
The next morning I hadn’t really slept, just rested because I couldn’t sleep through the contractions. I got up and told my husband I’d had contractions all night and thought this might be the real thing. He had a friend who was supposed to come over so I told him to call and cancel the appointment. I didn’t want anyone there but us. We were on our semester holiday so neither of us were working at the time. All morning and afternoon the contractions continued to come every 15 minutes. I emailed my mother in the States and let her know what was happening. I also got on some pregnancy and birth forums and started reading unassisted birth stories. I continued to stay in a prayerful mood through out the day and just prayed.
About 4 pm the contractions got stronger and a little more painful. They were coming about every 10 minutes. I put on praise and worship music and began to dance and sing. Soon my husband and one year old son joined me. It was so much fun. We got lost in worship for a couple hours. The worship was so sweet. A peaceful and loving presence filled the room and we knew the Lord was telling us He was there and everything would be ok. I didn’t feel like wearing clothes so I didn’t. We just danced and worshiped and had a good time. About 33336:30pm a bloody glob fell from me onto the floor. Yuk! That was my mucus plug. We cleaned it up and continued to dance. Contractions were now coming every 5 minutes. About 6:45 my water broke. It was just a little water, not a whole lot like with my son. I kept thinking more water would come but only a little more water came. We continued to dance and worship after cleaning up the water then around 7:30pm contractions got intense and very painful. They were about every 3 to 4 minutes. I felt like pushing with them. In fact, I tried not to push but it was impossible. My husband continued to pray while my son ran about the house laughing and playing and from time to time, bending beside his Mommy. As the contractions got more intense I got on my knees and leaned over the sofa with each contraction. I had to cry out during some of the intense contractions which made my son a little nervous. He’d come and rub my back with his Daddy. Surprisingly, it was not back labor which is common with posterior babies, but it was butt labor. Man, my butt was killing me with each contraction.
My husband continued to pray and began to read some Scriptures to me during the contractions. We kept the praise and worship music playing and from time to time in between contractions I would dance and worship or pray. During contractions I would either stand or get on my knees and lean over the couch and push. I found it extremely painful to sit or lie down during contractions. I had to stand or kneel in an upright position. Sometimes I’d stand and bend over something and push with the contractions.
That day I had eaten oatmeal for breakfast and a cheese sandwich for lunch at about 11:30am, but that was it. By 10:00pm I was getting exhausted and discouraged. It didn’t feel like the baby was moving and I didn’t know how much more I could take. I was sweating, even though I was wearing nothing. I decided to get in a hot shower. The contractions would last about 40-50 seconds but were extremely painful. I thought they should be lasting one to two minutes, but were glad they weren’t. I took a hot shower and contemplated transferring to the hospital even if it meant getting another c-section, but then I remembered that most birth stories said that just when you feel like you can’t take any more is usually when the baby is just about to come. My husband encouraged me with prayer and scripture. Warrior my son, fell asleep about this time.
When I came out the bathroom, I started to dance and sway my hips thinking that if the baby is stuck this might help get her past my pelvis bones or wherever she was. Also as we danced and praised the Lord, I felt peace and strength come. It seemed this worked. The next contraction I dropped into a squat automatically and my husband grabbed me under my arms and supported my weight. I felt her move down a lot, and then I felt the burning sensation as her head was coming. I think it was her head. We never saw exactly how she came out. I remember feeling it and oh how it scared me. It didn’t feel like a head. It felt like my fingers went into something. The doctor who came to help us after the birth said it was probably her nose. Looking at her and hearing me describe the birth; he felt she came out face first. So anyway, when I felt her head or whatever coming, I got on my hands and knees and asked my husband to look but she went back in. He didn’t see anything. I got up again and did a supported squat with the next contractions and felt the burning sensation again like her head was coming. I did short pushes as the burning sensation increased, pushing her little by little. Then I did one huge push that I couldn’t control and out she flew onto the blanket we had underneath me; her whole body. I said, “What was that!” My husband said, “She’s out and on the floor.” Quickly, I sat down and lifter her. She was so slimy and slippery. I was afraid I’d drop her. I put her over my knees and she sneezed and cried right away, then we laid her on my stomach and waited for the placenta to come.
Once I delivered the placenta, my husband put it in a bowl and we let the baby nurse from me. I was totally exhausted and could barely walk so my husband fixed up the bed and helped me get to the bed. At that point my husband boiled scissors and string in water and cut the cord. I didn’t want to go to the hospital though my husband strongly advised me that we should go that night. I persuaded him to wait till morning. However, I had to go to the bathroom really bad. So I gave the baby to my husband and tried to go to the bathroom. After going to the bathroom, I fainted on my way back to the room. The next thing I remember was my husband standing over me with the baby calling my name. At that time we both decided it was best to get to a hospital right away. I called the American Doctor who lived right next door to us. He’s an American that use to be a doctor in America, but now teaches English and medical English here at the university. He came over immediately, in less than two minutes. When he examined the situation, he said I didn’t faint from blood loss; there wasn’t too much blood loss. He delivered over 300 babies in the States. He said I probably fainted from dehydration and lack of food.
The after birth story (My trip to the hospital)
We called a doctor at the hospital that speaks a little English and told her we needed an Ambulance right away. The American Doctor checked me and the baby and the placenta while we waited for the Ambulance. The Ambulance people came but, we and the American doctor couldn’t speak Chinese and they didn’t know any English so they didn’t quite understand what had happened. I was still laying on the floor where I had fainted because every time I tried to get up I felt very dizzy. They took me downstairs (We live on the third floor in an apartment building) and put me in the Ambulance but didn’t know that my husband, the baby who’d just been born, the American Doctor and my son were all supposed to come with me. Off they went with me in the Ambulance with out my husband, the baby, my son or the American Doctor. The American doctor helped them take me out to the Ambulance and went back to get my son, my husband and the baby and while they were preparing to come, the Ambulance had already left with me in it.
When we got to the hospital they started asking me for money in Chinese. Here, they don’t do anything till you pay first. Well, I didn’t even have on my shoes or anything. My husband had quickly dressed me before the ambulance people came so I just had on a shirt and jeans. I didn’t bring my cell phone cause I thought my husband was coming with me. And they couldn’t understand a word I was saying. Finally they rolled me upstairs to a room with a desk in it and left me there. A doctor came in and took my blood pressure, then left me on the stretcher for a long time. After about 20 minutes and no one around and having no idea where I was, I thought about getting up and walking out and taking a taxi back home, but physically I felt dizzy and didn’t think I could make it on my own. I thought I’d be there all night like that.
Finally a doctor and nurse came in and in Chinese were asking me what was wrong. I kept saying in English “I just had a baby!” They couldn’t understand me, so we repeated that a couple times then they left to look for someone who knew a little English. Finally they returned with a man. “He asked me what was wrong in English. I told him I just had a baby. He asked me where’s the baby and I said with my husband, but he didn’t understand the word husband. I tried to act it out but it was no use. Finally he said is the baby dead or alive. I told him, “alive, of course, Alive and healthy.” Then he asked again, where is the baby. I uselessly tried to explain he was with my husband and they were on their way to the hospital but he didn’t know English well enough to fully understand what I was saying.
Meanwhile, my husband, son, daughter who’d just been born and the American doctor were all trying to find a way to the hospital since the Ambulance had left them behind. They searched for a Taxi and couldn’t find one cause by then it was almost 2am. They decided to walk to the hospital since it was only 10 minutes from the house. That was crazy. Baby just born, wrapped in a towel, still sticky and with blood on her, being carried to the hospital in Febuary weather, cold and winter about 2 hours after she’s born. My husband, the Doctor, our one year old son Warrior and The baby all walked to the hospital at almost 2am. Well, the kids being carried, of course. What a crazy thing. They get to the hospital and can’t find me. They went to the emergency room and the people there didn’t know where they had taken me. They found the English speaking Chinese doctor who had called the Ambulance for me and she was looking all over for me and couldn’t find me. She started calling every department in the hospital and finally located the place where they had taken me. She yelled at the people in that department for them to bring me down to her. And so finally they brought me down to the labor and delivery department where I saw my husband, son and the American Doctor. So of course, I was like where’s the baby, ready to have a fit. “The doctors are checking her,” my husband said and the nurse quickly took me to her when she saw the look on my face. They knew momma wanted that baby close to her. So from then on they kept the baby within my seeing distance while they checked her. Everything was good. They took me to a hospital room with about four other Chinese women in it all waiting to have c-sections. They told me they were sorry but they didn’t have any private rooms. All eyes were on us because we were foreigners. And people kept coming and staring at me and the baby. They would just stand there over us and stare. It was like… really annoying after a while.
My husband left about 4am to find someone to look after our son. The American Doctor stayed with me and boy was I glad. He knew the English and Chinese med. names for most things and shots and medications so he was able to explain everything they wanted to do to me or give me. He was an advocate for me too. If I said, “No,” to something for me or the baby, He’d make sure they didn’t give it. They did give me pitocin to help control the bleeding and a few shots, I forget what they were and an IV but that was it. The IV was because I was majorly dehydrated and that’s why I felt so dizzy.
My husband came back about 8am and had cooked me a nice breakfast. No offense but I was use to my American style breakfast, not the Chinese style breakfast the hospital offered. So I was so glad to see my husband with that wonderful breakfast. He had gone home and cleaned the house and prepared the breakfast and dropped my son off with a friend. Then we demanded that the hospital release me and the baby so we could go home and rest. They made us wait till noon but then they let us go. All the Chinese were totally amazed. They usually stay in the hospital 6-8 days for a natural birth and 8-10 days for a C-section. They couldn’t believe that I was walking out the hospital less then 12 hours after coming. They kept staring at us as if they were shocked.
A few days later we went back for a check up and also got the birth certificate for the baby with no problems. Now we can apply for her American Passport. The baby was 8.9 pounds at birth. However they miss-interpreted the birth weight when translating grams to pounds and told me she was less then 6 pounds. For the whole first week, I believed it. Till I looked up the grams weight on her birth cert and translated it to pounds. Then I confirmed it with the hospital on my next appointment.
So that’s the story of my Daughter’s birth. Her name is Precious Angel Ijoama Ndaguba. When she gets older I’ll have a really fun birth story to tell her about. She was born here in China, with a Nigerian Father and American Mother. What an international Child. She’s such an easy and sweet baby. She sleeps a lot and is growing heavier and fatter each day. She’s on breast milk only, but I do pump a lot and my husband feeds her my milk with a bottle sometimes. Right now she is two weeks old and I have to start back to work, one month after her birth so I’ve got to use the bottle anyway. Also it’s hard to get her to latch the right way. She makes my breast so soar sometimes. Well that’s all. I believe she will do great things in life and her brother loves her so much. Now we have two kids under two years old and it’s a lot of work but we feel very blessed and privileged to be their parents. We are one big, growing, happy family. My husband and I plan to have as many children as God gives us. We are not using birth control. So that’s all.
7.18.2007
Oxytocin and Adrenaline
I found this on a fellow doula's blog and just have to say that this is so astute an observation! Of all of the explanations of the Midwifery Model of Care, this is one of the strongest. Enjoy.
"Our understanding of birth physiology is based on the simple fact that adrenaline (the emergency hormone mammals release when they are scared, when they are cold or when they feel observed) and oxytocin are antagonistic. In other words, when human beings release adrenaline, they cannot release oxytocin.
This indicates the main role of the midwife: to protect the laboring woman against any situation associated with a rising level of adrenaline. This is an art because it involves the personality, the way of being, the background, the experience and the intuition of the birth attendant. Since adrenaline release is highly contagious, one of the main reoccupations of the birth attendant is maintaining her own level of adrenaline as low as possible. Midwives often use tricks to keep their stress levels low. One of these is to engage in a repetitive task, such as knitting.
Avoiding useless stimulation of the maternal neocortex, which is the source of powerful
inhibitions, is a real art. Remaining silent when verbal language is not absolutely necessary is an art. Escaping notice while, at the same time, being able to detect whether something is wrong is an art. Adapting to every particular case and to every particular situation is also an art.
— Michel Odent, excerpted from "Can the Art of Midwifery Survive Protocols?" Midwifery Today Issue 73
6.06.2007
Childbirth and the Bible - a brief glimpse at my studies recently...
I have been doing a study on childbirth in the Bible and came across a few interesting verses. The first is the Genesis account of childbirth; “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children…” – Gen. 3:16. Unfortunately, many translations interpret the word ‘sorrow’ here to mean pain. But the word, sorrow is first “itstsabown” and then next “etseb”. Both of these words are more accurately translated as emotional turmoil, hard work, and toil. This same word is translated many other times in the Bible as those above. Pain in childbirth is not a curse. Hard work in childbirth was a declaration.We know that, by human nature, we do not appreciate those things which are ‘easily obtained’ – perhaps that includes childbearing and our children. And, perhaps that is part of the reason why our society is so far from familial morals and beliefs. Fathers are abandoning their families, mothers are abusing and killing their children, children are lawless and unruly… and it simply breeds another generation even further removed from the family unit than the last. Feeling, experiencing, and working through the toil of a first-stage labor could be nature (God’s) design for helping us to appreciate Him, our bodies perfect design, the family unit, and our children more.
5.21.2007
Ring of Fire
Oh term that every natural childbirther wants to hear - "the ring of FIRE" (picturing the blow-fish from Nemo right about now, standing over Mount Wannahockaloogie). What is this event and what can it tell us about child birthing?
Firstly, the ring of fire teaches us this: the power of words. The power that words p
lay in our birth is tremendous. Don't believe me? What does the term 'ring of fire' tell your perineum? Does it make you squirm to think of fire lapping at your 'tender areas'? What about the difference between calling contractions labor pains and calling them surges or waves? What about the difference between calling a contraction strong and good versus calling it hard or big? Our words impact our perceptions - our perceptions impact our experiences. From now on, we will not call it the ring of fire, but crowning. Because, as we will see throughout this article, crowning can be an exciting and enjoyable event in birth.
Secondly, this term-which-should-not-be-named, teaches us the power of mindset. We assume that, because this event occurs when the largest part of baby is passing by the perineum, it cannot possibly be anything but horrific. I tell you it can! Consider: a girl who is unfamiliar and fearful about her first time using a tampon may find the tampon to cause discomfort and pain. She is in the mindset that his is an uncomfortable and fearful event - so it will be such. This same girl, though, being relaxed and believing that no discomfort will come from the tampon, will likely have no discomfort or pain from inserting it. Consider the act of intercourse: a couple, relaxed and in love will have an enjoyable event of making love. Whereas, a man, forcing himself upon a woman, even if she does not fight, she will find it painful and horrible. The physical outcome is not dependent upon the size of the tampon, or the size of the organ (penis), but upon the mindset of the event. Likewise, if a woman is fully believing that her body will expand effortlessly around the head and body of her baby, if she is expecting a climatic and amazing event to occur at this, the moment of birth, she is more likely to experience that.
Thirdly, it teaches us the power of preconditioning. Tying the first two powers together, what are you preconditioning yourself to achieve? Women who have had unmedicated births 'on accident' were not prepared for the intensity of the sensations surrounding the event - they are frightened, disbelieving, and tense - as a result, their births, their perineums are fear-filled, tense, and painful. Women who have prepared themselves for all of labor and all of it's sensations, but still buy into crowning being a painful act they simply have to accept and 'push through' will get a painful event that they simply have to push through. Medically, during crowning, the babies head will press firmly enough against the surrounding tissue of the perineum that circulation is stunted. This results in the tingly, prickly feeling most commonly felt when your hand or foot falls asleep. Women who expect the moment of birth to be beautiful, climatic, and releasing report that crowning is a full, heavy, bursting, energy-filled, orgasmic, ecstatic, or pleasurable event in many cases. On the other hand, women who have preconditioned themselves to expect otherwise will get otherwise, translating a feeling of prickly 'asleep' perineum, to being a hot, hurtful, fearful event.
So, if we can stop using words that cause tension and fear, if we can alter our mindsets to expect the beauty and bliss of a baby passing through our bodies, if we can precondition ourselves and help recondition our friends, family, and the next generation to expect more than Mount Wannahockaloogie, we will find ourselves enjoying the fullness of our fullness, the beauty of birthing, and the ecstasy of life coming forth from our bodies.
Firstly, the ring of fire teaches us this: the power of words. The power that words p
lay in our birth is tremendous. Don't believe me? What does the term 'ring of fire' tell your perineum? Does it make you squirm to think of fire lapping at your 'tender areas'? What about the difference between calling contractions labor pains and calling them surges or waves? What about the difference between calling a contraction strong and good versus calling it hard or big? Our words impact our perceptions - our perceptions impact our experiences. From now on, we will not call it the ring of fire, but crowning. Because, as we will see throughout this article, crowning can be an exciting and enjoyable event in birth.Secondly, this term-which-should-not-be-named, teaches us the power of mindset. We assume that, because this event occurs when the largest part of baby is passing by the perineum, it cannot possibly be anything but horrific. I tell you it can! Consider: a girl who is unfamiliar and fearful about her first time using a tampon may find the tampon to cause discomfort and pain. She is in the mindset that his is an uncomfortable and fearful event - so it will be such. This same girl, though, being relaxed and believing that no discomfort will come from the tampon, will likely have no discomfort or pain from inserting it. Consider the act of intercourse: a couple, relaxed and in love will have an enjoyable event of making love. Whereas, a man, forcing himself upon a woman, even if she does not fight, she will find it painful and horrible. The physical outcome is not dependent upon the size of the tampon, or the size of the organ (penis), but upon the mindset of the event. Likewise, if a woman is fully believing that her body will expand effortlessly around the head and body of her baby, if she is expecting a climatic and amazing event to occur at this, the moment of birth, she is more likely to experience that.
Thirdly, it teaches us the power of preconditioning. Tying the first two powers together, what are you preconditioning yourself to achieve? Women who have had unmedicated births 'on accident' were not prepared for the intensity of the sensations surrounding the event - they are frightened, disbelieving, and tense - as a result, their births, their perineums are fear-filled, tense, and painful. Women who have prepared themselves for all of labor and all of it's sensations, but still buy into crowning being a painful act they simply have to accept and 'push through' will get a painful event that they simply have to push through. Medically, during crowning, the babies head will press firmly enough against the surrounding tissue of the perineum that circulation is stunted. This results in the tingly, prickly feeling most commonly felt when your hand or foot falls asleep. Women who expect the moment of birth to be beautiful, climatic, and releasing report that crowning is a full, heavy, bursting, energy-filled, orgasmic, ecstatic, or pleasurable event in many cases. On the other hand, women who have preconditioned themselves to expect otherwise will get otherwise, translating a feeling of prickly 'asleep' perineum, to being a hot, hurtful, fearful event.
So, if we can stop using words that cause tension and fear, if we can alter our mindsets to expect the beauty and bliss of a baby passing through our bodies, if we can precondition ourselves and help recondition our friends, family, and the next generation to expect more than Mount Wannahockaloogie, we will find ourselves enjoying the fullness of our fullness, the beauty of birthing, and the ecstasy of life coming forth from our bodies.
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