Rose of Jericho - Symbol and Midwife Medicine

I happened upon this older article from Baraka Birth today. It's beauty was worth sharing.

"Labor begins, and the midwife places a small dry twiggy rosette in a bowl of warm water near the mother. Labor continues, the mother gently perspires, her cervix is softening and opening, and as it does, the ball of twigs begins to soften and expand into a woody flower. She takes a sip of the medicinal water, and, breathing deeply, she watches as the ball fully blossoms. Soon enough, she’s ready to push… 

The Flower of Maryam (Anastatica hierochuntica) is a small shrub collected across North Africa, Saudi Arabia, Iran, and Pakistan, and among its most popular medicinal uses is its application for childbirth. Whether its medicinal properties encourage dilation, or if it’s a powerful visualization tool for mothers, traditional midwives have used the Flower of Maryam with their laboring mothers for hundreds of years. A quick glance at its names (below) suggests its religious significance: it is referred to as the “leaf of Maryam” (mother of Jesus), the “hand of Fatima” (daughter of the Prophet), as well as simply “daughter of the Prophet,” and “resurrection plant.” It is referenced in the Bible in II Kings 19:34-36 and in Psalms 83:13, “make them like tumbleweed,” here referring to the dried twiggy balls of Anastatica that disperse in the wind, scattering its seeds."

- Baraka Birth 

According to birth workers and women in the Middle East, the Flower of Maryam (or Flower of Jericho) is a medicinal plant used during childbirth for women in labor. It is steeped as a tea by the midwife, and then taken as birth becomes imminent. 

Rose of Jericho from Sean Steininger on Vimeo.

This powerful image is ingrained into women of every culture regarding birth, every culture but Western culture. This opening, unfolding, spiraling full and wide - unveiling - it's universal. In addition, the tea itself is full of calcium, magnesium, potassium, iron, and alkaloids. 

I found it also interesting that the dried plant looks very much like the vessels of a placenta and umbilical cord. Nature is amazing, isn't it? 

To purchase one for yourself, see here. 

CREATING Life

I remember when I was pregnant, some days I felt like a goddess - beautiful, strong, amazing, powerful, curvacious, and sexy... other times, the swelling, backache, heartburn, and nausea was too much to be able to revel in my beautifully voluptuous body! 

Nearly daily, though, I tried to remind myself how sensual and amazing I was! I was creating life! My body was perfectly growing this amazing little person - and I looked good doing it! It can be difficult celebrating yourself and your body when you feel so different - but changing your outlook can change your heart and attitude - which can be a saving grace in those last months of pregnancy! 

Some women have begun pregnancy photography - whether it be sensual, silly, cozy, or abstract. If you choose pregnancy photography, choose a photographer that can capture how you want or do feel during pregnancy. This memento is a literal keepsake of your beautiful form! 

 

Some women have taken to belly casting, a beautiful memento of your pregnant form. A belly cast is a plaster cast of your belly and/or full torso. It can be 'nude' or you can decorate it/have it decorated. It can be hung on a wall, bronzed and used as a centerpiece/bowl or even lined with soft wool and used as a cozy for babies first week of life outside the womb. 

 

http://littlelumpkin.blogspot.com/2008/06/birthing-quilt.html

Some women paint, create pottery, or sketch, reveling in their form and this season of life. Some add words or prose, but all are beautiful works of art that allow women to unfold their innermost self. This artwork can be on full canvas, in sketch books, in clay, or, as the case of the center piece of artwork, on a quilt. 

And others create pieces of wearable art. Pregnancy jewelry is a powerful way to carry your 'talisman of power and beauty' with you at all times. Some women wear jewelry that is pregnancy specific, while others wear jewelry with a saying or a symbol that is meaningful to only them, such as a bead or phrase.

organicmothers.com

No matter how you celebrate your pregnancy, do it!  I know that people have probably told you over and over again to cherish this time, you can never reclaim it, but from one who has BTDT, I can attest that these sentiments are very true. 

If you need ideas for how to start, consider reading a book on celebrating self. A perfect one for pregnancy is called Sacred Pregnancy. Another great benefit of pregnancy art and celebration through creative works is that it translates beautifully into birth art.

http://talkbirth.wordpress.com/2011/05/25/birth-altar-wisdom/

Birth art is a wonderful way to express your needs, desires, delights, and yes, even fears, regarding birth; but art allows it to be done in a positive way that can help carry you through your birth journey.

Blessingway beads are oftentimes held, carried, rubbed, kissed, and worn during birth. It gives mom a sense of centering, and is a beautiful reminder of all of the women holding her space in their own ways.

Other women will make collages or posterboards of phrases of strength, beauty, power, and joy for their birthing time. These posters and collages can be used as a focal point for labor and birth, providing women with affirmations and strength.

No matter how you celebrate yourself - both your pregnant and birthing form, do it! After all, at no other time in her life is a woman more in touch with creation than when she is creating a human life within herself!

Breast Cancer is NOT a Pink Ribbon

David Jay

Have you heard about the Scar Project? If not, it's about time that you did.

David Jay became interested in starting this project when his wife's twin sister found out that she had breast cancer at 26 years of age.

Originally intended to be an educational piece, (SCAR stands for Surviving Cancer. Absolute Reality) it has become much more for David Jay. He soon realized that his project gave women the ability to not only show to the world their strength, but also their courage and beauty.

• To read more about the project, see here. 
•  To read more about the photographer, see here. 
•  To purchase his book, see here. 
• To visit them on FB, see here. 

Fear

A woman is like a tea bag- you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

I find a disturbing and insightful pattern emerging from our culture. I have known about it, worked with women through it, and in every interaction, class, and workshop, attempted to dispel it... FEAR.

Fear is a huge part of our culture. We are so afraid to feel emotional or physical discomfort that we remove ourselves from it, sometimes before it even begins, medicating it or simply refusing to acknowledge, or greet, these sensations. Fear of the flu, fear of pain, fear of relationship hurt, fear of confrontation...

FEAR: a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

When it comes to pregnancy and the birthing event, women of Western culture are just as fearful, if not more so. I have seen women stare in disbelief, shaking their heads, even becoming physical squeamish over the sight of a woman giving birth, and yet, they don't have the same reaction to watching a baby be surgically removed from the abdomen.

Many women even carry fear of being responsible for their own healthcare and the healths of their unborn children, so they relinquish that responsibility to doctors and hospitals, blindly trusting that those doctors have their best interests in mind. They fail to take into account, or choose to ignore, that the vast majority of obstetrical practices are not founded on infallibility, on evidence-based practices, or are without the personal ambitions, impatience, bias', and sometimes even greed of the individual hospital or care provider.

It's not what you call me, but what I answer to. ~ African proverb

Women have been taught, through our cultures unbalanced mix of over-sexualizing the female body and disempowering the event, to the point of sciolism, to not trust their bodies, the sensations that it brings, and to even fear that the event itself is routinely dangerous and life-threatening, or in the very least, horrendous and unimaginable.  

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate - our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. ~ Marianne Williamson

For women to understand that the process, that the sensations, and that the uncontrollably powerful experience is not something to be feared, we must first reconnect women with their bodies. This can be accomplished best by placing women in a right-brained, left-bodied, creative, emotional, feminine, and physical space in which women can move freely.

If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we are not really living. Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. ~ Gail Sheehy

Oftentimes, when I begin working with women, they are inhibited from moving their bodies, speaking their minds, or allowing their emotions to surface. Some women are afraid to sing, to dance, to cry, to get angry, or to make noise. The most rudimentary lessons I teach is "uninhibited woman". Ina May Gaskin calls it our "inner monkey".

To find our "uninhibited woman", we must get rid of inhibitions. Some of these are rooted in lack of use or cultural/social conditioning... these are more easily shed. 

www.caryyork.com

But most of these are rooted in fear and physical conditioning. 

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~ Anais Nin

To want to face these fears, a woman must see the physical and emotional freedom that we offer. The best way to do this is to give loving encouragement and positive birth stories that show women making courageous decisions and having powerful births. This incites desire. Most women seek a doula, midwife, or childbirth educator with desire already in hand.

Once she has desire, in order to face these fears, women must find courage. 

Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. ~ Nelson Mandela

Around 1/3 of women have been so engrained into this belief that their bodies and their power, their strength and their intuition are so broken and inadequate that they have been given primary cesareans. So we, as birth educators are not only battling against powers and principalities, but misinformations that have taken on the guise of truth and flesh. 


Other women have been so engrained into this belief that their bodies and their power, their strength and their intuition are so broken and inadequate that they literally flee, either physically, emotionally, or conversationally, from situations that might challenge them to confront those fears.


And still other women will react with distain or outright anger at the possibility that their overt hostile reactions are actually secondary reactions to a deeper emotion - fear.

Courage is like a muscle. We strengthen it with use. ~ Ruth Gordon

I employ the use of Yoga Nidra sessions with my clients. We walk through the progressive mental and physical relaxation that allows them to become aware of heartfelt desires, engrained or intuitive beliefs, and intentions of their bodies and birthing times. 

You must learn to be still in the midst of activity and to be vibrantly alive in repose. ~ Indira Ghandi

This breaks down the levels of constraints that our physical and social/communal lives put on us on a day to day basis and allows us to tap into our true emotional, physical and mental self.

I employ voice with my clients. I encourage them to write, journal, speak, yell, yop, hum, and growl. I encourage them to speak "I feel", "I want", "I fear", "I know" on a daily basis. When they can look at their words, when they can feel them in their throats and on their tongues, and when they can hear their own words outside of their heads, they can begin to strip away those things that are relative and those things which are subjective.  

I employ movement with my clients. Allowing and encouraging women to dance, with abandon, reconnects them to their bodies and their babies. Teaching women to hone in on their cores, to find those 'tight spots' in their bodies, will give them insight into what is binding them emotionally and mentally. Demonstrating to women the practice of moving and dancing with others teaches them the power that they have even in the midst of disempowering situations.

Darkness can not drive out darkness only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate only love can do that. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

And finally, I teach the women that I work with about their choices, and always in love. I have the choice of presenting them the information in a non-confrontational, non-judgmental way, sharing a balanced view of the benefits and risks of each option, or I can provide them with the same information in a fearful, judgmental way. The latter does  not allow for their truest, deepest self to make the choice for them, because it is tainted. 

There are two kinds of light - the glow that illumines, and the glare that obscures. ~ James Thurber

I choose to always give light that illuminates the dark, not the harsh light that obscures personal truths for personal journeys.

Fear grows in darkness; if you think there's a bogeyman around, turn on the light. ~ Dorothy Thompson

Loving education provides women with all of their options so that, when faced with choices, when fear rears its head during their pregnancy or birthing time, they have the tool with which to illuminate the situation: dispelling mistruths, personal ambitions, and fearful coercion.

We never know how high we are Till we are called to rise; And then, if we are true to plan, Our statures touch the skies. ~ Emily Dickinson

My deepest heartfelt desire is that every woman would not have my ideal birth, but that she would have the ideal birth for them. One which is free of fear, full of power, and helps her to positively grow into the capable mother, lover, and courageous woman that she truly is.



For more information, keep an eye out for Karen Brody's new childbirth curriculum, Fear to Freedom. This innovative program incorporates all of the educational components discussed herein and is now available in the Houston area through Sage Beginnings.

Tokophobia

This is for those of us who cannot relate - to give us a motivator and a healthy dose of empathy.

This is also for those who find the idea of pregnancy and birth incapacitating, frightening, disgusting, or otherwise fearful.

If you fall into the latter group, you now have a term for your fear: tokophobia. The fear of childbirth.

How far do we go back to find the root of this? When did childbirth turn from a normal and natural occurrence, a part of life, into a debilitating fear?

Let's go back to PB (pre-baby/pre-birth). As a young pregnant woman, Sophie* is surrounded by friends and family - those female mentors and confidants that she trusts to give her insight, wisdom, advise, and encouragement. Those women feed her horror stories of women who die in labor, have horrible episiotomies, sepsis, and stillborns. They encourage her to watch ABNORMAL births on "Baby Story", "Special Delivery", and all of the prime time shows that are featuring a birth. They 'encourage' her by telling her how horrible the pain of birth is and to get medication as soon as possible. She is frightened.

But, maybe she was fearful even before that? Perhaps it isn't only about the pain of birth, but what the event means?! Let's go about 3-6 months prior to that... Sophie is just finding out that she is pregnant. Wonderful news right? Wrong. She belongs to a church where, just a few months ago, she saw a young girl in the same situation have to publically repent in front of the congregation. She had been working in childcare, but now was not allowed to. She has a 1 month old and no one threw her a shower. She was kicked out of her Christian College and now lived at home with two parent's who are coddled for the grief their wayward daughter has given them. She is terrified to let anyone know she is pregnant, let alone actually give birth and become a parent. She is afraid the father will leave her for an 'untarnished' version - one that won't be 'stretched out' by motherhood. She has no woman whom she can trust to talk to. She is frightened.

Could that have been where it started? Let's try even further back... Sophie is a middle schooler, about 12 years of age. She is in Sex Education and watching a film on reproduction. The room is dark and it smells like dry erase markers, rubber bands, and boys who don't wear enough deodorant. Throughout the 'reporduction' section, the boys hoot and whistle while the girl's grin nervously and blush. When it gets to the pregnancy section, many of the boy's make snide comments about the woman's changing body and the girl's self-consciously whisper to one another. There are uneasy shuffles as the film gets to the birth section. Suddenly, the screen fills with a woman who is yelling, sobbing, and thrashing, turning purple while a nurse yells at her to hold her breath and push, her husband pants oddly at her elbow, and a doctor stretches her roughly. He performs an episiotomy with no fanfare and no warning, and finishes by grabbing the infant's head and turns it by it's neck, pulling down and out. Once the baby is born, she is handed off to the nurse who hangs him by his two feet and starts shoving a suction down his nose and throat. The film ends. Lights up. The title of the film? "The Miracle of Life". Looking around, she sees 1/2 the class covering their eyes, a few who had to leave for the restroom slowly and shakily return, and the others look at the blank projection screen with gaping mouths and terrified expressions. She feels ill. She is scared.

Maybe not even there? How far do we have to go back? Sitting at a baby shower as a tweenager, listening to her classmates talk about period cramps and how their older sister's say having a baby is a million times worse and more disgusting? When Sophie is an 8 year old, and she overhears her Aunt talk about her cesarean while she flashes her 6 inch, badly healed, scar? At the feet of her mother as a 5 year old, listening to the horrors of early IV narcotics during labor? Perhaps even her own traumatic birth? Perhaps?...

Do any of those resonate with you? If not, you are lucky, being raised in the U.S. culture that we live in today, that it doesn't.

Fear is a strong motivator for making bad decisions. Yessir; it is. So what do we do about Tokophobia? Eradicate it from our culture - one young female at a time. Talk to our daughters early about reproduction and sex. Talk to them about self image. Tell them about the beautiful and NORMAL rite of passage of labor and birth. Fathers, embrace your wives' changing figures - gush over her breasts and handles, beauty and flaws. She is a woman. Refuse to listen to or perpetuate the horror stories of abnormal birth - instead, surround young pregnant women with Truth and Trust.

Break the cycle. Reclaim truth and trust. Dispel fear.

Journey of a Monkey Momma

Let me encourage you all to visit THIS blog and show this beautiful momma some support. She has experienced an unneccessary cesarean and is now seeking to heal and VBAC. Her video is beautiful a encouraging. And, if you feel led, I am sure she would love you to post her information on YOUR blog to help surround her with loving support from other mommas.

Mothers and Daughters

Ok - warning - soapbox here...







Mothers, where are you? Can you tell me the last time you took your daughter into your lap, or in front of the mirror, and told her of her beauty - inside and out.

Mothers, where are you? Can you remember when you first felt inadequate? Our daughters come to that point, on average, 3 years younger than us... on average.

THINGS WON'T CHANGE UNTIL WE CHANGE THEM!

Are we filling our children's minds with the images and perceptions of the media? Remember, just because you SAY one thing, unless you act and live accordingly, they will not follow what you say, but what you ARE and DO. What message are you teaching your daughter?

Is she strong? Is she resilient? Is she beautiful? Is she worthy? Is she able and smart? Is she lovely?

Is she content or critical?

Don't know the answer to those? Replace "Is she" with "Am I" and ask them to yourself.

There is your future.. there is the future of your daughter.

Welcome Molly Rebekah

Jill and Eric, oh what a journey! It seems surreal that we have arrived! I wrote notes down Saturday morning, after leaving the three of you, but I needed more time to really put things together… it was and still is such a ‘high time’. At last, though, it is complete – the miraculous and powerful birth of Molly Rebekah has been achieved; and now, here is the experience in the words of your doula.

You had an early bout of preparation labor on Saturday, August 25th. It started around 3 in the afternoon and finally tapered off sometime around 4 in the morning on Sunday. Mightily discouraged, you and I talked about what may have kept this from being the ‘real thing’. I mentioned that prodromal labor for such an extended period of time can sometimes be an indicator of baby being slightly misaligned in the pelvis. So, on Sunday, August 26th, at my urgings, you attempted the knee-to-chest position and were successful to stay in that position for a full 45 minutes. That night, you found that Molly was pressing down on your cervix more firmly and really nuzzling it, perhaps feeling out her new space to move around. You were up many times that night for the bathroom and Eric noted your ‘laborious’ walk – she had finally engaged.

Monday and Tuesday, you had no Braxton Hicks to speak of, though Tuesday, you found your body to be preparing further with bouts of friendly and frequent runs to the bathroom, along with more mucous discharge. I believe that the knee-to-chest position helped get Molly in a better position because of a number of reasons. First, you were given a break from your Braxton hicks; which indicates Molly was settling down, giving you a rest before starting the real thing along with a non-aggravated uterus due to properly aligned baby. Secondly, the increase in plug/bloody show and her being 'SO LOW' since that time definitely confirmed lightening and settling into the pelvis much more snugly. And finally, her ‘twisting her head against [your] cervix’; some birth psychologists believe that that is a prep indicator of baby 'testing' the route out...

Wednesday marked an appointment with Linda, your midwife. She happily announced that your cervix was no longer posterior, but anterior, and Molly was resting her sweet little head against your cervix. Later that same day, you had diarrhea and light bleeding. Your body continued to work at readying itself for Molly’s entrance into the world.

Thursday, August 30th, you were graced with another set of contractions – Molly testing out the door, so to speak. They began around 4:30pm and tapered off around 3am on Friday morning, August 31st. By daybreak, you were both emotionally spent and were ready to release the anxiousness at starting labor. God was conceded the reigns of worry and anxious waiting, and thus, He was given the permission to start.

That same night, Friday, August 31st, around 7 in the evening, while you and Eric were enjoying “Chocolat”, contractions began yet again. Their timing was, again, around 10-12 minutes, but both Eric and you noticed that they were different, more demanding of your attention, and Eric began to consider that this was it.

Meanwhile, I had gotten my shower and was just crawling into bed when a niggling voice told me, as it had numerous other occasions just such as this, that I would not be falling into a deep sleep anytime soon, but that my dear friend and momma Jill was preparing to guide her daughter into the world. No sooner had I had that thought, and picked up the phone to put it a little closer to the bed, than the phone rang.

It was Eric, calling me at 11pm to give me an update that contractions were the same distance apart as when they had begun, but that you were noticeably more distracted by them. I could tell by his voice that this was, indeed, different then those that had occurred in the past. We talked about timing a few more, before considering going in.

After hanging up, I called my aunt to come into town and watch the children as my husband, Calvin, was out of town. At around 11:45pm, Eric called once again to ask what I thought should be your next step. After hearing that contractions had not picked up measurably, but knowing what I sensed in his paternal heart and my spirit, I recommended that, if you wanted to arrive in time for your GBS treatment (which you had previously decided to do) that you may want to pack up and go in.

Five minutes after my aunt arrived at our home, Eric called to let me know that you were en route to the hospital and your contractions had quickly shortened to 6 minute frequencies and you were showing signs of transition. What a wonderful coach Eric was! I hopped in my car and arrived at the hospital 10 minutes later. I met with Linda briefly in the hall before quietly letting myself into the room.

Walking into your room, I had a sense of exquisite intimacy – the continuation of a romance. Truly, lights low, and with Jill reclining on the bed, in complete repose, concentration, and relaxation, while the attentive hands of Eric roamed her body, searching for any tension, while breathing loving words and lighting kisses on her skin intermittently, oh – it was passion! That same loving attention that had created Molly was now going to help guide her into this world!

At that time, you were 7-8cm and your contractions were coming between 3 and 4 minutes apart, lasting for around 1 minute each. Encouragement and loving touch seemed about all that you needed, reminders to keep the tension out of your shoulders, neck, and face. Your complete relaxation had those around you entranced. Between contractions, we offered you water and reassurance, and you offered us grins that all was well.

Shortly after I arrived, during one such time between contractions, your eyes were not as cloudless, nor your smile as strong, and I watched your shoulders pull up during the next contraction while your toes flexed away from your body. You were beginning to physically pull yourself away from your womb.

I sensed in my spirit that you knew you were coming upon the last stretch of labor and had a silently harbored fear of the next stage – a disbelief in your own abilities. So, with the next rest between contractions, we talked about what your pushing contractions might feel like, how your body was meant for this act, and to not be afraid of the contractions. I encouraged you that, when you felt the desire to pull away in unease, to instead immerse yourself in the contraction, giving in to it and going deep into it.

About 10 minutes later, you felt your first real grunty pushy contractions at about 2 minutes apart. Eric knew immediately what it was and looked up to me with a huge grin on his face before moving his mouth down next to your ear once more to praise you and whisper affectionately to you.

After a few more of these, which seemed to be getting slightly more demanding, you decided to try another position. So, we assisted you in switching to your other side, which was hindered slightly from cramping ligaments. At this point, you felt a strong push contraction and you followed your body’s cue to yoller her down.

It only took one more of this type of contraction for you to know that you no longer wanted your legs together on your side. So Linda, who had arrived back in your room a short time ago, Eric, and I helped you into a sitting position with your knees falling outward. Immediately a look of self possession and purpose came over your face. Your eyes were no longer clouded as your body unfolded, strong and purposeful, yet soft and supple.

With your next contraction, you again began pulled away from the contraction, but it only took a reminder from Linda to envision your body like a “J”, curving down to meet your baby, and myself to sink deep into the contraction and listen to your body. You transformed, in that instant, from a laboring woman into a vessel which channeled an Energy more powerful than yourself, one that you could not contain, but only give into – relinquishing the last visages of control. Gave up and gave in – you began birthing!

Your baby and your body worked in perfect harmony and Molly began to descend rapidly. Lost to the world of midwives and doulas, coaches and hospital rooms, you travelled into Laborland – the only inhabitants being yourself, your baby, and the Energy. Opening your mouth wide and singing her down, your body followed suit and Molly moved to +2/3 station with an intact bag of water. Linda continued pressure on her head with the next contraction and your bag burst, baptizing Eric’s waiting hands in a rush of warm water.

You were utterly and completely given over to labor, working with your body, moving it slightly right and left, lifting your hips, and pulling your knees apart, all the while vocalizing Molly down the birth canal. A work of art – wrought in nature’s design and God’s purpose. It took my strong grip on your shoulder, and Eric and Linda together nearly yelling your name to bring you back to the present time. Slowly, Linda urged; so as to keep you intact, slowly Jill.

Molly descended the last bit, fully to crowning, and was born up to her neck with one contraction. I barely had time to spin around and get the camera ready. Eric was poised to catch, and your body at last gave you a short break before the final wave crashed over your body and out of your womb. Molly rotated slightly, her shoulder slipped free, and she slid into Eric’s waiting hands. Immediately both you and Eric began laughing, joy immeasurable. She was Captivating. She was Beloved!

Welcome Molly Rebekah!
7lbs 8ozs 19.25 inches long
Born September 1st at 2:20am

Ring of Fire

Oh term that every natural childbirther wants to hear - "the ring of FIRE" (picturing the blow-fish from Nemo right about now, standing over Mount Wannahockaloogie). What is this event and what can it tell us about child birthing?

Firstly, the ring of fire teaches us this: the power of words. The power that words play in our birth is tremendous. Don't believe me? What does the term 'ring of fire' tell your perineum? Does it make you squirm to think of fire lapping at your 'tender areas'? What about the difference between calling contractions labor pains and calling them surges or waves? What about the difference between calling a contraction strong and good versus calling it hard or big? Our words impact our perceptions - our perceptions impact our experiences. From now on, we will not call it the ring of fire, but crowning. Because, as we will see throughout this article, crowning can be an exciting and enjoyable event in birth.

Secondly, this term-which-should-not-be-named, teaches us the power of mindset. We assume that, because this event occurs when the largest part of baby is passing by the perineum, it cannot possibly be anything but horrific. I tell you it can! Consider: a girl who is unfamiliar and fearful about her first time using a tampon may find the tampon to cause discomfort and pain. She is in the mindset that his is an uncomfortable and fearful event - so it will be such. This same girl, though, being relaxed and believing that no discomfort will come from the tampon, will likely have no discomfort or pain from inserting it. Consider the act of intercourse: a couple, relaxed and in love will have an enjoyable event of making love. Whereas, a man, forcing himself upon a woman, even if she does not fight, she will find it painful and horrible. The physical outcome is not dependent upon the size of the tampon, or the size of the organ (penis), but upon the mindset of the event. Likewise, if a woman is fully believing that her body will expand effortlessly around the head and body of her baby, if she is expecting a climatic and amazing event to occur at this, the moment of birth, she is more likely to experience that.

Thirdly, it teaches us the power of preconditioning. Tying the first two powers together, what are you preconditioning yourself to achieve? Women who have had unmedicated births 'on accident' were not prepared for the intensity of the sensations surrounding the event - they are frightened, disbelieving, and tense - as a result, their births, their perineums are fear-filled, tense, and painful. Women who have prepared themselves for all of labor and all of it's sensations, but still buy into crowning being a painful act they simply have to accept and 'push through' will get a painful event that they simply have to push through. Medically, during crowning, the babies head will press firmly enough against the surrounding tissue of the perineum that circulation is stunted. This results in the tingly, prickly feeling most commonly felt when your hand or foot falls asleep. Women who expect the moment of birth to be beautiful, climatic, and releasing report that crowning is a full, heavy, bursting, energy-filled, orgasmic, ecstatic, or pleasurable event in many cases. On the other hand, women who have preconditioned themselves to expect otherwise will get otherwise, translating a feeling of prickly 'asleep' perineum, to being a hot, hurtful, fearful event.

So, if we can stop using words that cause tension and fear, if we can alter our mindsets to expect the beauty and bliss of a baby passing through our bodies, if we can precondition ourselves and help recondition our friends, family, and the next generation to expect more than Mount Wannahockaloogie, we will find ourselves enjoying the fullness of our fullness, the beauty of birthing, and the ecstasy of life coming forth from our bodies.

The Beauty of a Mother

Walking around a store the other day, I happened upon a woman and her daughter. The mom was pretty, but the little 7 year old was the picture of cherubic beauty. While they were in the dressing room, and I in an adjoining one, I heard the little girl say, "Momma why do you have silver lines on your belly?"

I could only assume that she was talking about stretch marks. I began to try to 'overhear' a little more intently...

There was a short pause, then you could hear the mom say, "You know how daddy gave mommy that bracelet for my birthday? And daddy gave mommy a ring for her wedding? Well, Honey, when a woman carries a baby in her body, sometimes the baby gives the mommy a pretty present too. She gives her silver lines to carry forever to thank her for carrying her. You gave me this silver. It reminds me how happy I was to carry you and how happy you were to be carried."

There was another long pause, then the little girl said, "Momma, your silver is sooo pretty. I hope my baby gives me some when I am a mommy."

The beauty of a mother!