One Tough Mudder

This last month my husband and I completely our first Tough Mudder.

 While we were heading through the course, 3/4 of the way done, we spied this gal:

And I asked her if I could take her picture for my readers. She was such an amazing encouragement to me, and I was hoping she would be for you too! Her shirt read "Tough Mudder of Two".. .and that's the truth ladies - you are all Tough Mothers!

Remember, condition and train for your race. And run it well. Give it your all and look back on it with no regrets!

From Two to Three Kids

This is a guest blog post from a local mama who is also a movie producer. Thank you, Maria, for your contribution. 

A windy day brought us together in Acapulco Bay, 19 years ago. Little did we know that we'd be sharing a life and a bed together with three angels. My husband and I joke that having our third child has made us into adults. I think before, we thought that we had time, we could afford mistakes, debt, a few extra pounds, and not worrying about writing a will. But since our son’s birth in June, we've refinanced our home, my husband is going to the gym (for both of us) 5 times a week, and we are currently writing a will. Not because having a third child will kill you, but because going from two to three kids is serious stuff. There is no more joking around. The kids now outnumber us and we need to have a plan.

I’m 41 and he is almost 50. We've been adults for a long time, but it just hasn't felt like it. We took 11 years to have our daughter, and in that time, we worked, fought, made up, drank margaritas, went to sunny beaches, and built a solid foundation on which we now have created a precious little family. I am thrilled to be a mom of three. But it’s not as easy as people say.  “Going from two to three is not a big change.” Those people are liars. Let me tell you why… 

There is never enough time to get anything done. We seem to always be running late. There’s a spill, a missing shoe, or a last-minute potty emergency. Going to the grocery store is an ordeal. You simply don’t have enough hands. Getting a shower feels like a treat. Eating out has never been this unpleasant. Also, we had to get a new car to fit everyone, and change rooms around in our house to accommodate the new addition. 

Then there’s the guilt, knowing that you can’t make everyone happy. Your older child feels like you’re giving them the responsibility of helping with everything because they’re older. The younger child is no longer the youngest. You can’t help them go to the bathroom, eat, or play with them as much as before because you have a tiny being dependent on your boob for food. You are always feeding the baby, or changing the baby, or rocking the baby to sleep. 

At least both of my “older” kids are out of diapers. And it also helps that they can express their emotions. My 6-year-old daughter has told me that I love the baby more than I love anyone. And my 3-year-old son has told me that he wants me to hold him like I hold the baby. Everything seems to revolve around this new family member. And it does. But I try to make it seem like it doesn't.
I make sure I have some sort of quality time with each kid. Even if it’s just for 10 minutes. I want them to know that they each have an important part of my heart. That they matter, are wanted, needed and loved as much as the other. 

I have been an adult for a long time. But I have never been this happy. If what Elizabeth Gilbert writes is true, that the number 3 "is the number representing supreme balance", I have found my equilibrium, my stability, my raison de vivre. I’ll take the messy house, the sleepless nights, the missing shoes, and the certainty that I must be crazy for having another kid. All for the pure smiles, and the 3 hearts which remind me daily that I was born to be their mom.

Maria Sotolongo stays at home to raise her three kids, 6, 3, and 3 months old. She left her TV job to enjoy her little ones full-time. In the few minutes she has of freedom, she loves photography, blogging, cooking, and is now producing a documentary about home births. You can find her and a short trailer of her documentary atwww.mariasotolongo.com

B.I.R.T.H. Fair 2014

Every year, Houston birth workers, education professionals, infant and young child professionals, and parents converge in one location to share information and support with their community. Picture this: hundereds of women, their partners, and their nurslings milling about. There are fashion shows, children's craft and learning areas, keynote speakers, workshops, movie screenings, and educational booths for everything from midwives and doulas to baby wearing and homeschool co-ops. 

Every year, the Houston Doula Co-Op and Sage Beginnings (me) are there. Every year, we speak to our community during the workshops. Every year, we meet hundreds of amazing women and their families - will you be one of them?  

Join us for our 13th annual BIRTH Fair as we celebrate natural parenting and pregnancy. Get the latest information about vaccines, birthing options, breastfeeding, babywearing, VBACs, and more! We will have overstuffed goody bags for our guests, activities for children. Birth Fair will be held on October 4th from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the United Way Center on 50 Waugh Drive. Check us out on Facebook (www.facebook.com/houbirth) for our latest giveaways, or visit www.houbirth.org or call 832-499-6029 for more information. This event is free and open to all ages.

Newborn Babywearing

In the coming months you will see a lot of guest blog posts from local mommies, business professionals, and advocates in the Houston area. I hope you enjoy finding out more about our community, I know I did!

This is a guest post from our local babywearing experts at Woodland Babies!

You have been carrying this tiny life around inside of your body for nine months, and then...birth. What is next for this precious child whose life has just begun, and been disrupted, all in the same moment?  Your womb was the ideal place for your baby. The temperature was perfect. The nourishment, complete. Baby was instantly soothed by your movements, while simultaneously lulled by the sound of your heartbeat.

Your maternal instincts took over once your baby was born. You held baby so close, breathed in that newborn baby smell, and gazed at that perfect face for hours. But yet the gap remains. Baby was so secure in the dark warmth of your body, but being earthside is bright, cold, and distracting.  Keeping your new baby close is instinctual and babywearing helps both you and baby transition into the new roles you are still defining.

Whether you are needing baby to be close, baby is needing the sound of your heartbeat to feel secure, or you just need to make lunch for your other two kids, babywearing can be a wonderful parenting tool. When baby is wrapped on your chest, in a similar position to that of holding them, your hands are free to drink a glass of water, read a book to another child, or even to take a picture of that sweet sleeping creation that you made. Babywearing is not just about multitasking. It also allows you moments of extra close snuggles. It helps you to capture those wonderful smells of fresh baby hair, glimpses of that creation that will be forever etched into your memory, sound asleep, cheek smooshed on your chest, those eyelashes, pursed little lips, perfection.

Babywearing can also help to calm the fussiest of babies, as if they were back in the womb. In a baby carrier, babies are secure, they are close, and your movement is a soothing rhythm that instantly calms. The rise and fall of your chest helps them to regulate their breathing, and being in an upright position can help to relieve colic as well.

There are a few thing to keep in mind when wearing your tiny new one. It is recommended that babies be worn upright, tummy to tummy, similar to the way you would hold your baby in your arms. When in this position, baby will naturally uncurl and their legs will go into a froggy like position, with knees above their bottom. Baby should not be squished or compressed and baby’s chin should be one to two finger widths off of their chest. 

Newborn babies typically don’t snore, so if baby is making sounds, check positioning and readjust as needed. Just like you would have your car seat checked for safety, babywearing meetings, classes, and workshops can be a great place to make sure all is well. They are also a great place to meet other mamas and lifelong friends.

All in all, babywearing is not only a way to hold your baby, it is a useful tool in your parenting arsenal. Use it carefully, wisely, and often! 

Mary is a mother to 3 little ones under 6 years old, one of three owners of Woodland Babies, and Vice President and Volunteer Babywearing Educator for Babywearing International of Greater Houston. When she isn’t babywearing, she enjoys hot coffee and napping. 

You can find her at her website: www.woodlandbabies.com or on facebook: www.facebook.com/woodlandbabies

Trust

A friend of mine related this story to me and the mother involved and she both asked me to share it. Trust, what does it mean?

According to Merriam Webster, trust is the firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

For a pregnant woman or new parent, it means being able to believe in someone who should be reliable and truthful, especially when it comes to medical care for herself or her child. I have had the 'conspiracy theory' conversation many times with the women I work with. This conversation sounds something like, "well, don't they legally have to give me true and complete information so that I can give true and informed consent?" ... and then I reply that providers are supposed to, but it doesn't always happen.

And I end up sounding like a conspiracy theorist... until email after email just like the one below shows up in my inbox... and now I have permission to share one of these stories.

"Last week, my non vaccinating friend and I were hanging out when our daughters shared a granola bar. Later on that week, she called me up to let me know that her little one was just diagnosed with measles because of a rash that showed up and that, after a long talk with her husband and the doctor they then decided to start vaxing both girls... her youngest will be 4 months at the end of May.  

This little one had cold symptoms about 10 days before the rash and never had a fever. It made me question the diagnosis. The rash looked exactly like measles but no other corresponding symptoms in the days surrounding the rash. More accurately, the doctor said it was, "measles of some form"...

She and I started researching - me because something didn't sound right, while she started researching because she was talking to the director and assistant director of her daughter's preschool. They were telling my friend that if it were measles, the doctor would have to report it to the CDC.  

In order to do that they would have to have a confirmed diagnosis through a blood test. The pediatrician told my friend that doing a test wasn't necessary, that it would take 3 weeks to get the results back. The director has a friend who works at this pediatrician's office. So she called and talked to her friend. Obviously this friend couldn't tell the director much but she did say "don't worry one bit, its definitely not measles".  

Then the director mentioned to my friend that the doctor probably jumped to the worst case scenario and allowed my friend to jump to the worst case scenario because of her vaccination status. 

At that point my friend still had no idea what the rash might have been from but, during our text conversation, she mentioned she had to go back the next day for a check-up because of her daughter's double ear infection. She is going to ask them to do the blood work to check and see if she is now immune to measles.  

Then she mentioned that maybe the rash had something to do with the ear infections or the amoxicillin her daughter was taking. I asked if she had had amoxicillin before. She said no, but that the doctor said it was not an allergic reaction. her daughter's dad is allergic to penicillin. So I looked up amoxicillin rash. It looks strikingly similar to a measles rash. An allergic rash itches, a non-allergic one doesn't. Amoxicillin rash begins on the abdomen and spreads. 

Measles rash begins on the face, usually near the hair line and moves down. She had no spots in her mouth (which is tell-tale for measles) and no fever (which can get up to 105). My friend believes (as do I) that she was pushed into rethinking her stance on vaccines; that the doctor use the "fear of measles" and her daughter's lack of vaccines to misguide them.  

I asked my friend if she told the doctor where the rash started. She said she did (on her belly) and that the doctor suggested they give her Benadryl. If Measles doesn't go away with Benadryl, and the rash isn't from an allergic reaction, why would you recommend Benadryl?  

Maybe I shouldn't be, but I am absolutely shocked, speechless, and disgusted by what this doctor did. As far as my friend having reconsidered her stance on vaccinating her children, she re-reconsidered and has reconfirmed her non-vax beliefs. "If she reacted like that to a regular medication, how in the world would she react to vaccines?!" was her conclusion."

A parent should be able to trust her provider. But how can they trust providers when those same providers use any in possible to try to coerce, mislead, or ridicule that same parent into making choices that the parent would not, otherwise, make.

Unethical, untruthful care, like that which was experienced in this situation, occurs more often than we would like to admit... and more often than the medical field will ever admit. So care providers, this is a shout out to you: if you want us to trust you, then you have to be trustworthy. If you want us to respect you, you need to provide us that same respect.

The Dad and the Doula

The following is a guest post from one of the fathers I had the honor of working with. When we first met, he was worried that a doula would try to take his place, fill his role, and that his would become a passive role in the birth room. How different things really were! I hope you enjoy reading his journey as much as I do.

Let me start by saying I am a wonderfully supportive husband and father. Seriously, I rock! I really do! But, part of the reason I can pat myself on the back is that I'm also not too cool to admit my limitations and get assistance when I need it. I also want to warn that this version of our birth story is going to sound really me-centered. I'm not egotistical - but this is one side of our very multi-dimensional story.  

Let's back up a number of months, before Aen was born. One Wednesday evening in the middle of a thunderstorm, much like the one that is occurring as I write this, we met Cole in the vastly caffeinated realms of the Land of Starbucks. As the bittersweet smells of cafe latte swirled about our heads, and students and businessmen rubbed elbows at neighboring booths, Cole expounded on the merits of a doula for Emily and her upcoming birth. I had come armed with skepticism and my pocketbook on lock and key. I thought to myself, "there's no way in hell that I am letting this hippie stranger in her pumps and tattoos take my place at the birth". 

She had been gesturing and smiling that syrupy sweet and motherly smile that doulas do; talking to Emily like old friends do. I could tell Emily really liked her... which made me like her even less. My internal dialog was not kind. There was no way I was getting pushed aside. I was going to be her doula, or so I had argued to myself already. 

But then, while I was grumbling to myself silently, Cole abruptly turned her attention to me. "Ok Daddy, what questions do you have?" 

I think I opened and closed my mouth 3 times, guppy-like, before finally blurting, "but what about me?" Yup, I whined like a little 5 year old being left out of t-ball. I cringed inwardly; here it comes, I thought, she's going to tell me how this is a woman's work, yada yada yada.... 

She smiled again, syrupy sweet and motherly again. But this time, I felt the warmth behind it and immediately I felt my assumptions start to quaver. 

"This is as much your birthing journey as Emily's, and a good doula will recognize that, at the end of the day, it's not about how great I made your experience, but how great a team you, the family unit, are. Think of me like glue - making sure all the bits stick to the best of their ability. Think of me like a pocket guide, reminding you of everything you learn in childbirth class. Think of me like a personal trainer, putting your hands right in that place to make her sigh in contentment or whisper to you the words you can say to make her go the extra mile. But please don't think of me as a replacement. 

"I could never replace you. You bring something to the birth I can't, no matter how hard I might try. Something that you can't learn from all of the birthing women in the world - how to be intimate in a way that only the partner can know from the relationship they share." 

Yup, those wavering assumptions started to topple and, after another 20 minutes of chit chat, we left the coffee shop - our minds, hearts, and pocketbook a little lighter. 

During pregnancy, she came to our house and talked to us about our fears and concerns, expectations and plans for labor, birth, and parenting. She challenged my ideals about circumcision and vaccinations, and I confided in her how my father failed me miserably and I was afraid I'd do the same, and how I was afraid I would pass out; she recommended resources and exercises to help me forgive, learn, resolve, and fortify. 

And then, it happened. During another thunderstorm, we were eating dinner by candlelight when Emily paused mid-bite. She had the most curious look on her face as she stared off into a land I couldn't see. A few beats later and she was eating and chatting with me again. 

A number of minutes passed before she did it again. And then again. I asked if everything was ok, and she said, 'fine'. So, I snuck off to a bedroom and called Cole. I explained what was happening and I could hear that smile in her voice as she recommended I go finish our romantic dinner and then continue to be romantic and sensual with Emily until she was ready to share what was going on her body and heart. 

I did as she suggested and, later as I sat knee to knee with Emily, kissing her bare shoulders by candlelight, cradling her belly in my hands, I felt her belly tighten, and Emily went away for awhile. Her eyes glazed and she became heavy lidded. When she returned to me, she smiled and asked if I felt it. I said yes. 

It was time. 

I checked in with Cole intermittently, and whenever I sounded shaky on how to support Emily, she gave suggestions. They were spot on - and Emily received all of the suggestions through me. I never felt I couldn't help her, I never felt I was not a part of the process. 

Soon, her travels began taking her further and further away from our room, away from my presence, and although Emily was doing extremely well with the techniques I was able to use to help her in her journey, I needed help to go there with her. So I asked Cole to come join us. 

When Cole showed up, she set her things by the door and just squatted in the corner. I kept glancing at her, thinking to myself, 'ok super-doula, now's your time to shine. Why are you just sitting there? Show me that doula badassery we talked about'. It took me awhile to figure out that she was feeling the space - how we interacted and how Emily was acting. I put on my best game face and tried to do everything that I had been doing before. But, like I said, she was travelling so far away from me and I didn't know how to get where she was going. 

Cole moved behind Emily and pressed on her lower back, lower than I had been, and in a certain way that I didn't intuitively know to do. She sighed and collapsed against the birth ball she was hugging. Cole gestured with her head to see what she was doing and whispered a few words into my ear. I smiled and took her place when Emily came back from that wave. 

Cole went and filled a cup with our pre-mixed labor smoothie, another with ice water, and made a plate of cheese, fruit, and crackers. Between contractions, she made sure Emily was eating what she could, drinking much more, and that I ate as quick as I could, so I could be ready for the next contraction. 

After we had eaten our fill, Emily mentioned she needed to use the restroom, something that, up this point, I had let her do alone. Cole, on the other hand, went ahead and lit a candle in the bathroom, came back and, holding her hands, led Emily to the toilet. I stood at the door, but Cole beckoned to me, as we passed (she on her way out of the bathroom), she reminded me quietly to help Emily intone and get 'back to that place' we were in in the bedroom. 

She then closed the door to just a crack and was gone. I had a moment of panic. I had never been in the bathroom while Emily was doing her business and. I pushed that thought aside though and, although I won't share the details of that bathroom time, I can tell you that, when we emerged 40 minutes later,  Emily and her labor had definitely changed, the waves more intense and pulling her more deeply into that foreign land - but I had changed too. I was able to follow her, move with her, read her body better, listen to her sounds and help her better. And when Cole joined us in the living room, she only needed to look me in the eye for me to understand it was time to go. For the most part, words were no longer needed, and when they were, it was a brief, few-word exchange. 

We drove to the hospital carefully and, when we pulled up to the front, Cole opened the door and helped Emily from the car. I grabbed our stuff, Cole threw a bag over her shoulder, and we made our way slowly into the hospital. In a short time, we were through triage and into our room. I knew what we had to do this time to get recentered and reconnected, so Emily and I went into the bathroom once again. In the mean time, Cole put away our bags, took out our music and hooked it up, set up her candles, and fanned some good smelling stuff into the air, all while conveying to our nurse our wishes and asking her to wait 'just a few more minutes' before hooking Emily back onto the monitor.  

When we came out from the bathroom, I walked Emily the way I had seen Cole do it, and when she had a wave, I would brace her by placing her head against my chest. Cole pressed into her back (much lower than when we had left the house). We slowly made it to the bed. Emily was hooked up to the monitors and the nurse asked to check her cervix. Emily buried her head in my arm and Cole motioned to breath out, like blowing a candle - I asked Emily to blow out a candle when she was checked. The nurse checked quickly and then removed her hand, holding up 8 fingers. 8cm. Right afterward and before another wave could start, Cole helped Emily up and she supported her while I pressed on her back.  

We alternated like this a short while longer, and Emily started making some different noises and bleeding quite a bit. I looked at Cole over the top of Emily's head in shock. Cole just gave me a thumbs up and mouthed "pushing".  

The very next wave and Emily's eyes shot up, meeting mine, "I'm pushing" she said, emphatically. "I know" I responded, with a smile. No panic, no need to rush things, just a matter of fact. She had a few more contractions like this before Emily asked if we should call in the nurse. We had been at the hospital for an hour and a half at this point. Cole had told us that, when mom asks if we 'should' do something it's a good indication it's a good time to do something - so I said sure.  

Rather than use the call button, Cole slipped out into the hall and was back in less than a minute with the nurse. As the lights were flipped up and people started bustling in, we slowly walked Emily back to the bed. She wound up on all-fours on the bed, and I was near her head, holding her hands and encouraging her to listen to her body. Cole draped her rebozo over our heads to keep out the light and bustling, and I felt her hand on my hand, which was bracing Emily's back at that time. Her reassurance told me that we were doing everything right.  

Soon, Emily was asked to turn around to birth her baby. What this meant was, they wanted her on her back, When we came out from under the rebozo, all of the lights except the spotlight had been turned off, and the spotlight was aimed near Emily's feet, not at her bottom. Emily started to turn over, and Cole encouraged me to hop up behind her. The end result was Emily leaning back against me, and me acting like an armchair and support for her.  

Cole magically appeared with cool washcloths and she changed them out for Emily while Emily pushed, and brought us both cool water (holding a fully pregnant, laboring woman up in position was working up a sweat). She also fanned us both and helped me shrug out of my hoodie.  

As our baby began to crown, I asked for a mirror so we could see our babies head. Emily reached down and felt for the head and the bag of water burst. Within seconds, our baby was born, right into Emily and our doctor's hands. It had happened so fast Emily didn't have time to move her hands! 

She brought our baby up toward her chest and, as she lifted the baby, we were both able to see that we had a baby boy! I cried, I did! In fact, all three of us were crying. And when I looked over at Cole, she was beaming from ear to ear with a proud thumbs up.  

Within an hour Emily was cleaned up and tucked in, our boy was rooting around for the breast, and Cole had snacks laid out on a tray for Emily and I. The three of us worked to get baby attached, Cole giving some tips, me taking notes and trying to help with pillows and holding a baby hand, and Emily trying to position him. After a short time, Cole took a little more active role, and she gave us both instructions on how to help ensure a good latch. After he got latched well once, she showed Emily how to take him off the breast and let Emily and I help him reattach. We had done it! 

I looked at my family, the three of us, and felt such gratitude. I was proud of myself, my bride, my son, and my doula. Yes, she was my doula. She was also Emily's and Aen's - but she was my doula in so many ways that I hadn't known before. 

A doula helps to fill the gap in the birthing team, helping to make sure that both of the parent's expectations are met. She helps a male birth partner to feel honored and helpful, as involved as he wants to be, and without the burden of the care being left on his shoulders. This is freeing, liberating, and encouraging! 

As a result, the mother feels free, supported, encouraged, safe, and able. She can meet the challenge and overcome! She feels no doubt, worry, or fear from her partner because her partner is supported and feels safe and encouraged. This cycle of care is complete and unbroken.  

A man is then able to give himself over to loving her, without worry or concern. This birthing journey becomes his journey as well - from being a lover to being a father. I felt confident in both my and Emily's roles - we were parents able to meet any challenge as a team.  

As Cole tucked the three of us into bed, finished packing our things onto the cart to go to postpartum, and hugged us all tight, I remembered the modified quote that Cole told us on that fateful night in Starbucks... 

“Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making [parents]--strong, competent, capable [parents] who trust themselves and know their inner strength.” - Barbara Katz Rothman

B.I.R.T.H. Fair Houston

If you are in the Houston area, mark your calendar for next Saturday's 12th Annual B.I.R.T.H. Fair. Sage Beginnings Doula Services, along with the Houston Doula Cooperative, and over 50 other local pregnancy, birth, and parenting professionals and businesses will converge on the United Way building to bring local parents and parent's-to-be the best local options for this stage in their lives.

The day will be filled with workshops and presentations, movies and giveaways. It's one big party, and you are invited. Come say hi to us at our booth, or step into one of the many workshops that members of our cooperative will be guest speakers at!

We can't wait to see you there!

Postpartum

"New parenthood is like a cocoon. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my partner, myself, and my baby in a warm blanket, in a deep dark room, away from the world, and transform into something beautiful and worthwhile; slowly, gently, purposefully emerging when ready to dry our wings and try flying. The only things I needed from those around me were time, love, food, water, patience, and an eye to bear testimony to our beautiful unfolding." - Anonymous New Mother

What happens after the baby is born, the supplies are packed away, the family is tucked in, and everyone leaves?

I get this question a lot. We work so diligently throughout pregnancy and up to birth, but, after birth, and after the hubbub subsides, families are somewhat at a loss for what a doula can continue to do for the family.

First let me start by saying that I am still, years later, in contact with most of my doula clients. A doula creates this bond with the families that surpasses birth and continues throughout young family-hood.

Your doula continues to be a source of information and suggestions for new parenting. In the early weeks we hear from clients asking:

• Am I making enough milk?
• Is this color of poo healthy?
• My baby won't take one breast...
• Any alternative treatments/plans for ______? (insert: cradle cap, diapering options, minor colds, mastitis, blocked milk duct, cracked nipples, thrush, colicky baby, dry skin, sleeplessness, baby blues, etc...)
• I can't remember ___ about the birth, can you help me remember?

We also meet with the families at least once after baby is born. This is a time to reflect on the families birth experience and for families to ask immediate questions that they might have about the event, their newborn, the new family unit, or moms health needs.

At these meetings, I will:

• share birth pictures (if I was asked to take them)
• answer mom's questions and listen to her concerns about the birth
• deliver birth DVDs (if I was asked to make them)
• give mom a foot massage
• if they buy a postpartum kit , I will deliver it with their meal
• if they bought placental encapsulation services, I will deliver the pills
• watch baby latch and answer questions about breastfeeding/make suggestions
• talk with them about vaccination, sleeping, babywearing, early schooling, pumping, and baby massage options
• talk to mom and partner to see how they are doing emotionally
• give baby a baby massage
• deliver birth stories if they asked me to write one

As the family begins to grow up and into their place in society, the questions are modified, slightly, but still remain consistent:

• Where was that alternative vaccination schedule again?
• My daughter wants to know where babies come from, can you meet us for an anatomy lesson?
• Can you point me in the direction of some home made baby food recipes?
• Any alternative treatments for ______? (ADD, allergies, night terrors, bed wetting, potty training, etc...)
• I can't remember what I did with my last birth and I am pregnant again, want to do this with us again?

Just as a family should feel supported throughout pregnancy and birth, a new family unit should continue to feel supported by those that they have chosen to share these early stages with.

"Women's experiences and their feelings about themselves, their babies and motherhood, translate directly into thoughts and biochemistry that lay down patterns in their baby's developing nervous system and brain. These patterns shape, not only how we see ourselves as children, but the relationships we form as adults and how we care for others and our world. The mother-baby relationship is crucial. Thus, how we treat the women who bring children into this world - with honor and tenderness or neglect and abuse - profoundly influences the direction of our society." - Suzanne Arms

Lying In

What a perfectly quaint term that is,  Lying In... But, in actuality, that is what a woman and her family should do immediately after baby is born. There are many health benefits to lying in, including quicker recovery, lower incidence of breastfeeding issues, and less incidence of postpartum blues/depression.

The term, ”lying in” is prevalent in other cultures and refers to the time when new mom doesn’t have to do everything, but simply takes care of herself and baby.

"The lying-in period allowed the baby time to settle in and acclimate to his or her new environment. Babies come into this world ready to bond; their central nervous systems are open and ready for new experiences. With too much activity, babies become over-stimulated and do not have the ability to calm themselves. The social demands of entertaining well-meaning visitors deprive both mother and baby of much needed rest. Babies sense their mothers' fatigue and anxiety. They become increasingly irritable and difficult to console. However, babies of mothers who observe a lying-in period have a lower incidence of colic. The mother's familiar presence, adequate rest, and limited stimuli allow the baby time to integrate into his or her new environment."
- Lynch B. “Postpartum Culture: The Loss of the Lying-in Time,” SpeechGiven at DONA 10th International Conference, New Orleans, July 22-25,2004

Suggestions for postpartum:

• let others take care of you (i.e. family and friends, hire a mother's helper or a postpartum doula, etc..)
• treat yourself to a maid service twice in the first 3 weeks. Ask for it for a shower gift.
• Interview/find a lactation consultant or visit your area La Leche League before the birth
• Interview and find a pediatrician that coincides with your parenting choices
• Make a small 'cheat sheet' with relevant information, emergency contact numbers, and help on it (relatives, friends, LLL leaders, etc..)
• stay in your bed for the first 3 days (except for bathroom breaks)
• stay on your bed for a few days after that
• stay near your bed for a few days after that
• stock your freezer with frozen meals and your fridge with easy snacks (yogurt, dried fruit, veggie sticks)
• make an 'in case of' phone list of friends who have had children and whom you can call and ask questions of whenever you need!
• Give partner a Daddy-do list (taking baby for a walk, bathing baby, baby massage, diaper duty, etc..)
• Throw your perfect parent list out the window!
• Call on friends and family members to bring you meals for the first few days
• Have feeding stations throughout the house (bottled water, breastpads, burp clothes, baggie snacks, books)
• Have changing stations throughout the house (diapers, wipes, changing pads, spare onsies)
• EAT HEALTHY and DRINK LOTS OF WATER - this will help you recover faster and ensure good breastmilk for baby

Don't forget that your main concern during this time is not a clean house, couture clothing, or entertaining guests.. it is about taking care of you and baby, period!

Take time for just you - Call a friend and chit chat, even when you don't feel like talking to anyone. This can sometimes help you or your loved ones to assess if you are healing emotionally or if you are experiencing either baby blues or postpartum depression. Take a warm relaxing herbal bath, go for a walk in the sunshine or lay a blanket out and read a good book that is purely entertainment.

Take time for just family - give your baby a massage, snuggle a sleeping newborn and breathe deeply the scent that is uniquely his/hers. Take pictures of mommy, daddy, and baby (and siblings), breastfeed often and on demand. Take your baby for a walk or take a nap outside in the shade with him/her.

Words of Caution
Some women feel like a million bucks immediately after birth or a few days afterward, but don't overdo it - your body will thank you later. Signs you are overdoing it physically:

• bright red bleeding when it had previously started looking like 'old blood'
• decreased milk supply
• clogged milk ducts and/or mastitis
• insomnia/hard time sleeping
• anxiety or panicky feeling
• increase in 'blue' feeling
• your doula, midwife, friend, or husband telling you to sit down 

Many many women experience a 'let down' feeling after birth. It is very common and can range from simple and mild disappointment or moodiness, to more intense 'blues', to something called postpartum depression. Signs that you might be experiencing the baby blues or postpartum depression vary and either can sneak up on you without warning. The best odds of avoiding postpartum depression and baby blues include:

• considering placental encapsulation or consumption
• talk to other mommies, reach out to the outside world even when you are lying in
• be honest with those around you about your emotions and private thoughts - there is no condemnation
• get rid of your idea of the perfect parent. The perfect parent for your child is YOU, that is why you were given him/her
• breastfeed
• eat and drink well
• don't overdo it

Sometimes, though, no matter what we do or how we prepare, ppd or baby blues simply happen. For those reasons, family and friends should  be on the look out and understanding of new moms and their emotional health.

In Closing
Being a parent is an amazing adventure, this is just the beginning. Savor these first few moments, breaths, days, weeks.. they are gone too quickly and forever wished to be reclaimed. This new life, your newborn, and this new person, you, a parent, are both discovering each other and the world through fresh, newborn eyes. Congratulations!

Additional Resources:
Help Guide for PPD and Baby Blues
Assessment Scale for PPD and Baby Blues - personal form to fill out

Baby's First Bath

There are so very many options after baby is born. One of the seemingly less considerable options is to bathe or not to bathe baby in the moments following birth.

Routinely, hospitals encourage families to have the hospital nursery staff bathe their baby within 2-4 hours after birth to 'decontaminate baby' from the messiness of birth.

So, with such a good argument in favor of bathing, why might you want to wait?

Body Fluids

Vernix
Once you bathe your baby, you strip baby of that lovely, antibacterial, antioxidizing, temperature regulating, moisturizing natural super-stuff called vernix. This white cheesy coating that many babies are born with is just amazing!

Vernix Caseosa is a marvelous mixture of skin oil and dead cells that baby shed while in the womb. Yes, even oil and dead cells are beautiful... when you consider that this helped to protect him from dehydration and now, while outside the womb, acts as an antioxidant, temperature-regulator, antibacterial (working against E. Coli, GBS, and other bacteria), wound super-healing, cleansing, and moisturizing cold cream.

"... the innate immune proteins found in vernix and amniotic fluid are similar to those found in breast milk. As the baby prepares for extrauterine life, pulmonary surfactant (a substance produced by the maturing fetal lungs) increases in the amniotic fluid, resulting in the detachment of vernix from the skin. The vernix mixes with the amniotic fluid and is swallowed by the growing fetus. Given the antimicrobial properties of this mixture, the authors conclude that there is “considerable functional and structural synergism between the prenatal biology of vernix caseosa and the postnatal biology of breast milk." - The American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, 2004

Amazingly, we have been provided with our own personally, genetically, specifically formulated cold cream from the moment of birth that will prevent peeling of newborn skin as it acclimates to the extra-uterine environment, as well as protects against all the icky stuff it might encounter out here!-  read the rest here.

And, even if your baby is not coated in the stuff, know that baby always has a thin amount of it on their skin at birth (even if we can't see it)..

Amniotic Fluid

Once your baby is born, baby is also stripped from their lovely amniotic-like smell. This is important for mom and baby. That smell helps baby to latch on, not only for the first trip to the breast, but as long as we don't interrupt that olfactory cue.

This is the most studied input for the Breast Crawl and is believed to be the most important. Babies preferred their mother's unwashed breast to her washed breast, soon after birth. (Varendi et al, 1994). Besides secreting milk and colostrum, the nipple and areola are dense in glands that perhaps secrete attractive odours. Washing could have reduced or eliminated such odours. This is consistent with a previous study (Makin and Porter, 1989) where infants preferentially moved towards a gauze pad impregnated with the breast odour of a lactating woman.

Later Varendi et al (1996) showed that within the first hour after birth, significantly more babies spontaneously selected a breast treated with amniotic fluid than the alternative untreated breast. This attraction appears to be based on olfactory cues. Thus, amniotic fluid augments or overrides the attractiveness of the natural scent of the mother' breast. They postulated that observed attraction to amniotic fluid odour may reflect foetal exposure to that substance (i.e. prenatal olfactory learning). They also suggested that throughout the evolution of our species it was probably common for women to handle their babies themselves during and following delivery. Immediately after parturition, the mother's hands soiled with birth fluids would transfer the amniotic fluid to her breasts when she first attempted to nurse her neonate. This may be observed currently amongst non-human primates. The data presented illustrates the importance of maternal odours for newborn infants. Aside from guiding a neonate's overt behavioural responses, such olfactory stimuli also appear to have a calming effect on the infant and provide a basis for early individual recognition of the mother. - Read the rest here. 

So, it's a good thing to have that delightfully slippery, wet, wiggly baby placed right on your chest... and then the two of you to hold off on washing for a few feedings, if possible.

Temperature
Many, many babies that are regulating their temperatures just fine on their parent's chests, skin-to-skin, suddenly have a drop in body temperature when they are given a bath. This is simply common sense. Think of stepping out of a shower into a room and feeling chill afterward. It's the exact same concept.

I have heard, over and over, nurses use this as an excuse to bathe the newborn: "we need to bathe the baby to see if they can regulate/maintain their own body temperature.". The downside is that they are creating the very circumstances where a baby might have a hard time regulating their own body temperature.

Study after study has found that skin-to-skin care helps regulate babies body temperature, respiration, and heart rate better than any radiant warmer (heated baby bed) can. This is because mom's body is the ideal temperature for baby and mom will attend to babies needs immediately and decrease the probability that baby is stressed/crying/gasping to be nursed. (see IBC for more information).

So what is it about a mother’s body that makes skin-to-skin care so important? Because of the unique symbiosis between a mother and her baby, a mother’s body is designed to provide the perfect environment for her newborn baby. When a baby is placed on her mother’s chest, the temperature of mom’s body not only keeps baby warm, but helps regulate a baby’s temperature to what he/she needs at that very moment. Some babies are born with the inability to regulate their own temperature. Studies have shown that skin-to-skin care is best for keeping a baby’s ideal temperature. It is often reported that artificial heat from an incubator cannot replicate the effects of mom’s touch. It also has been shown that the temperature for twins who are each placed on one of mom’s breasts are regulated independently, adjusting according to their individual needs! - Read the rest here.

Even with all of this information, though, once babies temperature drops from a bath in a nursery, the nurses will not bring a baby back to mom to be held skin to skin. Instead, they will place them in a radiant warmer and wait for baby to warm up, regardless of babies feeding cues.. this, on average, takes an hour of observation.


Stress
I know most of you have seen this: baby in another bed, in another room, far from the warm bodies of his parents, crying.his.heart.out. After awhile, he simple stops. He gives up. He is tired and distressed, so he goes into preservation mode and simply sleeps.

Babies cry. They cry to let us know that they need something. And when we don't respond to those cries, it causes them undue amounts of stress. Science has shown that stress in infancy can result in enduring negative impacts on the brain. Prolonged cries in infants causes increased blood pressure in the brain, elevates stress hormones, obstructs blood from draining out of the brain, and decreases oxygenation to the brain. Excessive crying results in an oversensitive stress system (likened to a faulty burglar alarm in one book) that can lead to a fear of being alone, separation anxiety, panic attacks and addictions. Harvard researchers found that it makes them more susceptible to stress as adults and changes the nervous system so that they are overly sensitive to future trauma. Chronic stress in infancy can also lead to an over-active adrenaline system, which results in the child using increased aggression, impulsivity, and violence. Another study showed that persistent crying episodes in infancy is linked with a 10 times greater chance of the child having ADHD, resulting in poor school performance and antisocial behaviour. However, if you consistently soothe your child's distress and take any anguished crying seriously, highly effective stress response systems are established in the brain that allow your child to cope with stress later in life.... 

Researchers have shown that although leaving a baby to cry it out does often lead to the cries eventually stopping, the cries do not stop because the child is content or the problem has been alleviated. Rather, they stop because the baby has given up hope that a caregiver will respond and provide comfort. This results in a detached baby. Detached children are less responsive, appear to be depressed or "not there" and often lack empathy. - Read the rest here.

What does this have to do with a newborn bath? Well, if you let the nursery nurses take your child to another room to bath your baby.. or even if baby gets bathed in your room with someone who does this same thing day in and day out, it normally looks like the videos below. And then, after baby has cried and cried through a temperature lowering procedure, then they are left to cry some more (or simply 'go away' by falling asleep) in a radiant warmer to begin that pesky temperature regulating.

This is what a typical hospital bath looks like:

As does this variation, although she has some great things to say in this particular video:



But THIS is what a first bath should be like... 


So with that, I will leave you with this: just sayin',  with all the harm that can come from washing your baby in the hospital, what harm can come from not washing your baby in the hospital? Consider these points when making a decision on how to care for your baby after birth.

On Circumcision

Your sexual preference for circumcised penises aside, the genitals you chose to have cosmetically, functionally, permanently and surgically altered belong to your son. He may grow up to have preferences different from yours. His future lovers may have preferences different from yours. Your husband's preference differed from yours. As a woman who has been fortunate to have both intact and circumcised lovers, I can assure you that my preferences differ from yours.

Key men in my life would also beg to differ; my partner thanked his mother for "letting him keep" his foreskin. My brother wishes that our parents had told the doctor to leave his alone. It pains me to think about how different his introduction to life outside the womb was from mine, and how I got to keep the body I was born with, but he did not. Circumcised boys will never know what it's like to have a whole sex organ. They will never experience the full range of pleasure they were meant to have, and are likely to lose sensation as they age. Countries with lower rates of circumcision have lower rates of ED. The sensitive glans, meant to be an internal organ and protected by the foreskin, grows calloused from years of rubbing against fabric, and the most sensitive areas of the penis, such as the frenulum, are amputated in circumcision.

As for wanting your son to fit in, a significant percentage of parents are now choosing to "bring their whole baby home," which means many of your son's peers will be au naturale. The stigma around having one's whole penis is fading - as well it should! Why should human bodies in their natural form garner distaste?

As for sexual health (which should be a non-issue for babies and little boys) I recommend that you examine the studies that show that the incidence of sexually transmitted infections is lower in circumcised men. The statistical methodology is flawed. In fact, the rates of HIV infection are higher in the United States, where more sexually active men are cut than in similarly developed regions where intact men are the majority, such as in Europe.

For the rest of the story, see Dr. Momma. If you are in the Houston area and want to know more about circumcision education, request to 'check out' my Circumcision Packet from the lending library.

The Greater Good

The other day a dear chiropractor friend of mine slipped me a film entitled “The Greater Good” and told me to watch it. I went home, fully intending to be bored into oblivion by a tyrannical or severely biased anti-vaccination documentary. I was pleasantly and completely wrong! 

“The Greater Good” is a well-balanced documentary that follows three families through situations involving 'adverse reactions' from vaccinations. It is interspersed with interviews from numerous medical professionals including vaccine developers, pharmaceutical reps, psychologists, behavioral therapists, and pediatricians.

Although the families stories definitely called to the intrinsically emotional mother in me, the information supplied called to my deeper intellect.

My daughter, Briaunna, also reviewed the movie. This is what she had to say: 

The movie was about vaccinations and how they can affect you, good and bad. My initial reaction was anger and pain for the people who were harmed by the vaccines. Helpless children who get vaccinated with, basically, poison. I liked how people are learning more about vaccines… even though many of them have to learn the hard way in order to teach others. I also like how people are learning the true risks of vaccines. 

Did you know that vaccination does not account for the impressive declines in mortality seen in the first half of the century? It was other medical advancements, including learning to just wash your hands (microbiology).

Lately, people have been giving vaccinations to newborns, which really upsets me because I am a baby freak. Also, parents are required to give 69 doses of 16 different vaccines to children. They also put aluminum and mercury in all of the vaccines. Any form of mercury in the body is toxic and can cause damage. 

Did you know that, after 2010, 85 deaths have been reported, all after taking the Gardasil shot?

The only other thought I have is that the government has gotten too much power over us. They say that if you haven’t given your children all of the required shots, you have to go to court and get your shots…. “Or else”. They think that you will endanger your child’s life if you don’t get them vaccinated, which, of course, is all in the way that you look at it. I see more risk to their lives from taking a vaccination, but that’s just me.. and my right to not get vaccines for me or my babies.

The movie covers the historicity of vaccinations, and give us a rare look into the hearts of those who developed them.

At the same time, we hear from the lawyers who defend those families who have been harmed by vaccinations. 

When asked if they believed the business of vaccinations is involved in conspiracy, one astutely replies, "A conspiracy? Yes! But a conspiracy to do good." So much so, that the risks of vaccinations are minimized through government involvement and media bias in order to promote the 'good' that vaccinations provide to the majority.

"The Greater Good" takes a critical look at the government's involvement in implementing and mandating state-wide vaccinations, as well as how individual states are trumping parental and individual rights.

"If the state can force you to put your life on the line, or your child's life on the line, for any medical intervention, then the state has too much power"

Additionally, the movie takes on the very real, very publicly acknowledged fact that many members of our government council also hold shares in the very pharmaceutical companies that create the vaccines which the state promotes. It is as true as it gets: conflict of interest is: when my politicians have a vested financial interest in vaccination pharmaceutical companies. Or, as the movie states:

"the fox watching the chicken coop"

We are given the stats on individual state's exemptions and the bias in media exposure. We are shown the process to bring a vaccine to the public and how 'fast tracking' a vaccination intended for children was foolish. We are given real risks associated with vaccinations, and given a more in-depth look at the studies used to 'prove' the safety and efficacy of vaccination. 

I was, at times, outraged, and other times saddened... I felt I learned so much, even after having done, what I thought, was thorough research on vaccinations... but there were things that still had me dumbstruck and amazed. Just one example: the placebo used in many of these 'safety and efficacy" studies is aluminum, mercury, or a combination of the two!

Some great quotes from the movie that I hope will pique your interest:

"We know that mercury (thimersal) causes neuro-toxicity, there's no controversy about that. Does it cause autism? It contributes to the damage that leads to autism." - John Green III, MD

"There are studies comparing the hair of autistic and non-autistic children. There is much more mercury in the hair of non-autistic children, showing us, at least in part, that there is some genetic precursor that makes some children more succeptible to autism."

 Would I recommend this movie? A resounding yes! Would my daughter? Well, let's just say she is already inviting her tweenage friends over for a 'movie night' at our place - her idea. I recommend this movie to every family who have children, or who will have children, of vaccination age. 

"The Greater Good" does a wonderful job of promoting this one moral: it is not about having you vaccinate or not vaccinate. It is about ensuring that families know the risks, that the studies regarding vaccinations are fair and accurate, and ensuring that vaccines are made to be and required to be as safe as possible.

To visit them on the web

To visit them on FaceBook

Local Hero - and Call for Support

Some of you may know Krenie Stowe, a local pediatrician and friend to many in the Houston area. She is in need of our local and national birthing communities support. Please read here for more information and to consider supporting her during this time in her life. I would love to see us not only help her to pay all of her medical bills, but even pay off all of her debt so that she can continue to be a blessing to other families!

Sensationalism and Sleeping Arrangements

Recently the City of Milwaukee Health Department began circulating ads intended to dissuade co-sleeping amongst Milwaukee residents. Mayor Tom Bennett has made it a personal campaign to lower the incidence of SIDS within his city.

"In Milwaukee around 20% of infant mortality is attributable to a combination of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS),  and Sudden Unexplained Death in infancy (SUDI). " - City of Milwaukee

"The Journal Sentinel said Milwaukee had an “infant mortality crisis.” Milwaukee’s infant mortality rate in 2009 was 10.4 deaths for every 1,000 live births, according to the city’s health department. As noteworthy as this overall rate is the racial breakdown: For white babies, the rate was 5.4; for blacks, 14.1, the JS said." - ABC News

Although that is commendable, what is not commendable is the way in which they are going about it.

The ads state: "YOUR BABY SLEEPING NEXT TO YOU CAN BE JUST AS DANGEROUS.”

Yes, it CAN be, if done like the pictures show, with a baby in one ad, on it's stomach, and, in another ad, with his head on a pillow and, in both ads, surrounded by down comforters and tucked in sweetly next to a butcher's knife.

"The second-leading cause of infant mortality in Milwaukee is SIDS, or sudden infant death syndrome, which often results from  ”unsafe sleep,” according to the health department’s website. A form of “unsafe sleep” is bed-sharing with parents." - ABC News 

The problem with this statement is two-fold. First, SIDS is defined as the cause of death of a seemingly healthy infant for no apparent reason. So, if the baby dies from SIDS, it is unexplainable. If the baby dies from asphyxiation due to unsafe sleep environment, whether or not it is co-sleeping, then one automatically has a reason for the death. 

The other side of the problem is that there are ways to SAFELY co-sleep, as well as ways to UNSAFELY co-sleep. Just as unsafe crib sleeping can result in a baby's death, so can unsafe co-sleeping.

"“Is it shocking? Is it provocative?” asked Bevan Baker, the city’s commissioner of health,  according to the Journal Sentinel. ”Yes. But what is even more shocking and provocative is that 30 developed and underdeveloped countries have better [infant death] rates than Milwaukee."

Of these deaths the majority die in an unsafe sleep environment. The City of Milwaukee Health Department strongly advises parents NOT to share a bed with their infant. This is based on an American Academy of Pediatrics 2011 Policy Statement which states that the risk of SIDS has been shown to be reduced when the infant sleeps in the same room as the mother, but the AAP recommends that infants not share a bed with parents or anyone else, due to increased risk." - ABC News  

 I would reply to this with, "is it shocking? Is it MISLEADING?". The answer to both of those is a resounding YES. The ads, like the information above, are erroneous.

"“If the ads make some people uncomfortable, I guarantee it’s a lot less uncomfortable than having another baby die from co-sleeping,” a cause of death that is “so preventable,” [Bennett] added." - ABC News 

Do you know what I would rather see parents given? Better information on how to keep their baby SAFE. Babies who are at an increased risk for SIDS:

• African American babies are twice as likely to die from SIDS than Caucasian babies
• Boys are at a greater risk as well
• babies from parents who smoke, drink, or use drugs during pregnancy
• babies from mother's who received no or poor prenatal care
• babies who are premature or low birth-weight
• babies born to mothers younger than 20
• babies who live with family members who smoke or are routinely exposed to tobacco smoke following birth
• overheating from excessive sleepwear and bedding
• stomach sleeping

Now, Milwaukee is a cold area... this is coming from a person who has lived in Chicago and Michigan in the past. So, already, there will be a greater risk from babies being covered or dressed to warmly to snug against the cold weather. Additionally, Milwaukee has a high poverty rate, a high population of young mothers, and a high population of African Americans.  (all information taken from citystats and US Census).

Further, Milwaukee suffers from some of the strongest social and racial inequalities, is one of the fastest climbing populations of poor, and has some of the largest and fastest growing crime rates in the nation.Wisconsin is also reported to have a high population of smokers, and an obese population of over 63%. Although Wisconsin can tout low rates of teen pregnancies and births, Milwaukee cannot.

"The teen birth rate in Milwaukee is one of the highest city rates among all the industrial nations in the world. Teen pregnancy has a negative impact on educational attainment, physical and mental health, and financial well-being of the teen parent. The infants of teen mothers are more apt to die during their first year and/or be born prematurely." - City of Milwaukee Health Dept.

Milwaukee is noted for having an issue with women not getting good prenatal care, and many women don't even seek out prenatal care until the 2nd or 3rd trimesters. Part of that is due to limited access to care, as Wisconsin has cut funding for state medical assistance by over 16%, and part of that is the population to healthcare provider ratio being grossly unbalanced. There are also some very low breastfeeding rates reported, especially in one local hospital (under 50%)

In other words, I believe, as many do, that Bennett's ad campaign is short sighted, completely off-based, and being used as a panacea... when, in fact, UNSAFE co-sleeping is only part of the problem, as shown above.

Proper co-sleeping, in fact, has been shown to be safe. In fact, it can help reduce the risk of SIDS. How? A few of the ways include the fact that co-sleeping promotes more rest in baby and mom remains more alert, although rested. Add to that the fact that co-sleeping increases breastfeeding success, and breastfeeding reduces the risk of SIDs.

Instead of telling families not to co-sleep because it is as dangerous as letting your baby sleep with a knife, why not tell them that improper co-sleeping is dangerous. 

Safe Co-Sleeping follows these rules:

• Babies will be of healthy gestation, and not low-birth weight
• Family members within the home will not be smokers (baby will not be exposed to second hand smoke)
• Specifically and especially, those in the bed with baby will not be smokers
• Mom will be breastfeeding her baby
• Babies will be on their backs, on firm, clean mattresses or bed mats (no couches, intersecting furniture, water beds, or rocking chairs)
• Only light blanketing will be used, and never over the babies head (no use of heavy quilts or satin sheets)
• The baby will not have stuffed animals or pillows either under their heads or near their bodies
• Those sleeping with the baby should not be on any over-the-counter, recreational, or prescription medication, or be drinking any alcohol
• Long hair should be tied back and grossly obese individuals should consider carefully whether they should co-sleep

When these rules are followed, co-sleeping is a safe and healthy option for a family and their baby. Dr. Sears even writes that co-sleeping results are as follows:

• Research shows that co-sleeping infants virtually never startle during sleep and rarely cry during the night, compared to solo sleepers who startle repeatedly throughout the night and spend 4 times the number of minutes crying. Startling and crying releases adrenaline, which increases heart rate and blood pressure, interferes with restful sleep and leads to long term sleep anxiety.
• Studies show that infants who sleep near to parents have more stable temperatures, regular heart rhythms, and fewer long pauses in breathing compared to babies who sleep alone. This means baby sleeps physiologically safer.
• Worldwide research shows that the SIDS rate is lowest (and even unheard of) in countries where co-sleeping is the norm, rather than the exception. Babies who sleep either in or next to their parents’ bed have a fourfold decrease in the chance of SIDS. Co-sleeping babies actually spend more time sleeping on their back or side 1 which decreases the risk of SIDS. Further research shows that the carbon dioxide exhaled by a parent actually works to stimulate baby’s breathing.
• The Consumer Product Safety Commission published data that described infant fatalities in adult beds. These same data, however, showed more than 3 times as many crib related infant fatalities compared to adult bed accidents. Another recent large study concluded that bed sharing did NOT increase the risk of SIDS, unless the mom was a smoker or abused alcohol. (all information taken directly from The Scientific Benefits of Co-Sleeping).

Milwaukee would do better to invest more in their African American and teen pregnancy programs, promote breastfeeding through in-home lactation education, and provide centering groups and insurance-covered midwifery care both in the hospital and outside of it. Likewise, they should make more of an effort to lower their alcohol, teen pregnancy, low-birth weight, and smoking rates. 

All there is left to say at this point is: City of Milwaukee and Mayor Bennett, shame on you. I'm sorry to say it, because I understand that they aren't meaning to give bad information or mislead parents into a false sense of security... but, since they have the very public ability to influence a large amount of the population, they are held to a higher standard - to make sure that science and research back up their claims, and that they give the public full and informed disclosure.

To petition the removal of these ads, please sign here. 


Additional Reading and Research:
CheckPoint
State Health Facts
LeapFrog group
University of Notre Dame Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory
Mother-Infant Cosleeping, Breastfeeding and SIDS
SIDS, Co-Sleeping, and Breastfeeding
Never Sleep With Baby?
PowerPoint on Media/Gov vs Fact
Dr. Sears on Co-Sleeping
California SIDS council on Safe Co-Sleeping
UNICEFs Safe Co-Sleeping Printable
Here's Your Knife, Milwaukee
Parenting Co-Sleeping Response
The Dangers of Demonising Bed Sharing 
Fearmongering
Don't Allow Your Babies To Sleep With Knives