Trust

A friend of mine related this story to me and the mother involved and she both asked me to share it. Trust, what does it mean?

According to Merriam Webster, trust is the firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

For a pregnant woman or new parent, it means being able to believe in someone who should be reliable and truthful, especially when it comes to medical care for herself or her child. I have had the 'conspiracy theory' conversation many times with the women I work with. This conversation sounds something like, "well, don't they legally have to give me true and complete information so that I can give true and informed consent?" ... and then I reply that providers are supposed to, but it doesn't always happen.

And I end up sounding like a conspiracy theorist... until email after email just like the one below shows up in my inbox... and now I have permission to share one of these stories.

"Last week, my non vaccinating friend and I were hanging out when our daughters shared a granola bar. Later on that week, she called me up to let me know that her little one was just diagnosed with measles because of a rash that showed up and that, after a long talk with her husband and the doctor they then decided to start vaxing both girls... her youngest will be 4 months at the end of May.  

This little one had cold symptoms about 10 days before the rash and never had a fever. It made me question the diagnosis. The rash looked exactly like measles but no other corresponding symptoms in the days surrounding the rash. More accurately, the doctor said it was, "measles of some form"...

She and I started researching - me because something didn't sound right, while she started researching because she was talking to the director and assistant director of her daughter's preschool. They were telling my friend that if it were measles, the doctor would have to report it to the CDC.  

In order to do that they would have to have a confirmed diagnosis through a blood test. The pediatrician told my friend that doing a test wasn't necessary, that it would take 3 weeks to get the results back. The director has a friend who works at this pediatrician's office. So she called and talked to her friend. Obviously this friend couldn't tell the director much but she did say "don't worry one bit, its definitely not measles".  

Then the director mentioned to my friend that the doctor probably jumped to the worst case scenario and allowed my friend to jump to the worst case scenario because of her vaccination status. 

At that point my friend still had no idea what the rash might have been from but, during our text conversation, she mentioned she had to go back the next day for a check-up because of her daughter's double ear infection. She is going to ask them to do the blood work to check and see if she is now immune to measles.  

Then she mentioned that maybe the rash had something to do with the ear infections or the amoxicillin her daughter was taking. I asked if she had had amoxicillin before. She said no, but that the doctor said it was not an allergic reaction. her daughter's dad is allergic to penicillin. So I looked up amoxicillin rash. It looks strikingly similar to a measles rash. An allergic rash itches, a non-allergic one doesn't. Amoxicillin rash begins on the abdomen and spreads. 

Measles rash begins on the face, usually near the hair line and moves down. She had no spots in her mouth (which is tell-tale for measles) and no fever (which can get up to 105). My friend believes (as do I) that she was pushed into rethinking her stance on vaccines; that the doctor use the "fear of measles" and her daughter's lack of vaccines to misguide them.  

I asked my friend if she told the doctor where the rash started. She said she did (on her belly) and that the doctor suggested they give her Benadryl. If Measles doesn't go away with Benadryl, and the rash isn't from an allergic reaction, why would you recommend Benadryl?  

Maybe I shouldn't be, but I am absolutely shocked, speechless, and disgusted by what this doctor did. As far as my friend having reconsidered her stance on vaccinating her children, she re-reconsidered and has reconfirmed her non-vax beliefs. "If she reacted like that to a regular medication, how in the world would she react to vaccines?!" was her conclusion."

A parent should be able to trust her provider. But how can they trust providers when those same providers use any in possible to try to coerce, mislead, or ridicule that same parent into making choices that the parent would not, otherwise, make.

Unethical, untruthful care, like that which was experienced in this situation, occurs more often than we would like to admit... and more often than the medical field will ever admit. So care providers, this is a shout out to you: if you want us to trust you, then you have to be trustworthy. If you want us to respect you, you need to provide us that same respect.