Vernix + Face Plant =

At a recent birth, daddy passed babe off to me after a stellar home water birth where he caught his firstborn. As he was handing her off, she did a sweet little face plant (as newborns often do, looking for the breast) and she gave me this...

Need a close up?

Yup, there is a little vernix print of her precious face right there. You can see her lips, her sweet cheeks, her nostrils, and even her brow and eye sockets. :)

Doulas Do It Anywhere - pt 1

prepforbirth.com

Doulas help women give birth anywhere. We offer support in a home birth setting, hospital birth setting, birth center birth setting, medicated birth setting, and even cesareans.

Again, the definition of a doula:

A doula is not a midwife (unless, of course, she’s certified as both), in that she has no authority to make medical decisions, nor is she credentialed to deliver a baby. She’s not considered on the level of a nurse, either; doulas cannot administer or regulate medicine, operate monitoring devices, et cetera. In fact, a reputable doula will tell you that she doesn’t even have the authority to speak on behalf of the mother should a complication or other medical surprise surface.

But sometimes it’s the unnameable, intangible aspects of the conclusion of a pregnancy that require the most help and planning. And that’s where a doula is indispensable. In addition to the priceless knowledge and experience she brings to the laboring phase and to newborn-care assistance, she’s a wellspring of intimate emotional and physical support. A doula educates the family ahead of time; keeps the laboring mama focused and lucid; instinctively retrieves things she needs, like water or compresses; supports her body while walking through contractions; suggests different laboring positions; initiates massage and breathing patterns; reassures other labor partners; works alongside hospital staff; advocates for the mother; and, afterward, ensures that the new mommy is getting enough rest, is recovering well, and is bonding with the baby.  - Divine Caroline

That said, a doula is definitely a soothing presence in all birth settings, including HOME BIRTH.

Doulas, like home birth midwives, will make home visits; or, as we call them, prenatal appointments. During these prenatal appointments, we are establishing rapport with you, getting to know your idiosyncrasies, as well as your needs and wants for your birthing time.

A planned home birth will also mean we get to know your living space: where your linens are, towels, washer and dryer, cleaning supplies, birth kit, foods and dishes, and more. We will get to know your other children, if you have already-birthed children, as well as their play/sleep spaces/routines and comfort level with attending the birth.

During labor, we normally will show up before your midwife, unless your midwife has reason to believe that you are moving toward birth quickly. Some of the things that a doula does during a homebirth:

• Doula-y stuff. Yup, we still do the normal things like massage, counterpressure, acupressure, recommendations for position changes, relaxation exercises, body work, aromatherapy, filling the birth pool, changing out your pads, cleaning up any 'oopses', encouraging you in word and actions, and overall caring for you emotionally and physically. 
• We Doul-ess. Sometimes homebirths are so chill and zen we 'do' less doulaing, so we might just be there for mom, brush her hair back from her eyes, take notes for her birthing journal, offer sips of water, or make ourselves scarce in other parts of the home to do the things below.
• We make food. Yes, you read that right. We will make food for you and your birth team. This is important - you wouldn't believe how easy (and common) it is for a birth team and laboring woman to forget to eat or drink during labor, resulting in low energy or a slowed labor. Also, if a mom has a honey-do list for us, it's not uncommon that she will put on there 'in down times, please prep a casserole for the fridge for dinner in the next 24 hours. Recipe below'.
• We do household chores. We will clean up around the home, do dishes, throw some dirty laundry into the washer, tidy up the kids play space, clean up the 'mess of birthing'... whatever needs to be done. What's nicer than getting down to the business of birthing, only to get tucked into your bed with your new baby and realize (for you and your partner/spouse) that the house is completely clean?
• We take pictures. If there is a camera or video camera lying around, you bet we will take some birth pictures for you (if you want). 
• We like children and pets. If you currently have either (children or pets) we can care for the pets (food, water, bathroom breaks, etc..), or your older children (play with them, help them get ready/off to school, feed them, help them know what is going on with the labor/birth, put them to bed, etc..). 
• We keep watch. Sometimes, especially in longer labors, partner/spouses and midwives need to sleep so that they are fresh for the birth. You don't want a sleepy midwife at birth, and you don't want a sleep-deprived partner to miss out on the birth either! Your doula will burn the candle with you.
• We travel. In the event of a transfer to the hospital, we will go with you and offer continuity of care from the home to the hospital. This can offer unimaginable relief to a stressful situation, knowing someone is going to be with you/your partner throughout both home and hospital care. 
• We Lady-Wait.  After birth, while midwife is doing some initial baby vitals and daddy is loving on the newborn or calling family, we can help mom get in and out of the shower, get into fresh clothes and pads, make her bed up nice and comfy, and get her hair brushed. She feels clean and shiny when she slips under the covers, ready to love on her baby and enjoy the fruits of her labors. 
• We assist. In the off chance your midwife needs an extra set of hands in a sticky situation, we can definitely do that. Midwives can be assured that many home birth doulas are well versed in how to assist a midwife with clamps, oxygen, syringes, bulbs, and more.
• We glue the bits together. I love this part of my job. We help the man of the group (usually the father of the child or the partner of the woman), the 'extraneous' member, to glue his place into the birth event. We help make sure he isn't stuck with all the grunt work, the house work, or the gopher work. We ask for his expectations as much as the birthing woman's. And, on that note...

Anything the doula might do on this list is definitely interchangeable with your other support person (spouse/partner, etc..), so that we can  make a seamless team of support for you where none of your needs, or the needs of your other support person, go unmet.

Doulas do it at homebirths!

Welcome Lex!

Birth Story Time! This is the lovely birth story of one of the mom's I recently attended. I loved working with this family. Dad was a hoot, so attentive, but so lighthearted... and mama, wow, talk about intuitive! Enjoy!

In everyone’s life there are pivotal moments that define us as a person. Steer us in the new direction our life needs to go, and give us new meaning to old things. This is my moment.

Saturday, November 19^th

It was a nice day like any other day, nothing noticeably different to take note of.  I was feeling more energetic than most days so we decided to take advantage and do lots of things around the house to prepare for our little baby that was slated to arrive 3 weeks from that day. Give or take, we knew best not to give him a timeline. We woke early and made our breakfast as we always do and set out to the battle plan of the day. That morning we put up all our Christmas decorations and tree so that I would not have to worry about doing that as I got further along and more uncomfortable. So to the tunes of country music I trimmed the tree and hung the ornaments getting everything all decked out. Later that afternoon my best friend Reagan came by to visit and we went for a nice long walk at the park.

Chatting away the afternoon while making our way around the large pond. Feeling still very energetic and full of anticipation, I could not have known that perhaps this was ‘the walk’ that would get the ball rolling’ . That evening after my friend left us to ourselves, we made a nice dinner and settled in for the evening. At this point I was getting some stronger than normal Braxton hicks contractions, nothing that I would have indicated as labor, but looking back on it now, may have been just that. We went to bed, with thoughts of our little man coming to us dancing in our heads.

Sunday, November 20^th, 3:54 am

My water broke. 

Woken from my sleep by an interesting sensation I can’t say that I have ever experienced before. And not knowing with absolute certainty that my water had indeed broken I woke Gabor up. After some more examination and more obvious signs, we decided that indeed we were on our way to labor land. The first few moments were a frenzy of emotion, excitement, uncertainty and anxiety, but also pure joy in knowing that we were going to see our baby within 24 hours (god permitting). I got up and moved around the house for a little while trying to gather my thoughts, an text the midwife letting her know my membranes were no longer hanging out at the party. After about an hour of pacing, I decided to hop in the shower.

Not long after that, perhaps 2 hours the contractions started, not strong at first but definitely making their presence known. We put together the birth pool (which had been delivered on Friday, a week early) and I let Gabor know it might be a good idea for him to clean up as well, so we could have all the hot water we needed. By 6am I called my mother letting her know she needed to go ahead and come over that things were getting a bit more uncomfortable and I wanted her there. By 9am I was finding it more and more difficult to concentrate on anything other than the contractions and the doula was then called.

I remember thinking to myself that the pain was not unbearable and that it was necessary in order to birth my child.

So I focused and used my hypnobirthing and took each surge with a nice long breath. The doula arrived with a calming force that really helped calm both Gabor and I. She showed Gabor a nice way to apply pressure to my hips to help me during the surges and reminded me to melt into the pain, to relax and let it do what it needed to do.

Giving into my birthing body was a must if I wanted this birth to progress. We were, after all, there to have a baby.  By noon I was in transition and we were making sure that the midwife was there. A new urge to push was not entering my mind and things were starting to get real. The intensity of the contractions were stronger and my body was starting to completely take over. And in some carnal way, it was amazing to feel the strength of you body as it does something so miraculous. Kellie, our midwife arrived and from then it was fast and furious. Several positions later, and never in the birth tub I was using all my strength to birth my child. Reminding myself that he would be here soon and we would be holding him. That nothing my body offered up as far as pain was too much to handle, for my body was mine. I could handle anything, I had to handle anything, I wanted to hold my child.

November 20, 1:34pm

Our child Gabor Alexander Farkas III was born.

Gabor Alexander II was the first human being to touch him – his father.

He was delivered to the cord wrapped around his neck, which Kellie gently removed. He took a few moments to take that sweet breath of fresh air, giving us a little scare, but then he wiggled his little body of 6.45 lbs and let us know he had arrived. I was instantly in love, instantly no longer the most important person in the world, instantly here to take care of this little human being.

In that moment I knew that love was greater than just one person, it was the combination of two people to make a third. That I was looking at God’s greatest miracle, LIFE! I had carried him with me every day,  yearning to know what he looked like, eager to hear his cries, and now he was with me. Small and fragile laying on my chest. We were now three, a family.

We got the birth we always wanted, at home, in our own safe environment, with those around us that loved us. No harsh lights, no pain medication, no unfamiliar faces poking in and out of the room. Letting nature take its course. I would not trade our experience for the world. And I know that our son was born in a gentle and loving environment.

Special thanks go out to Kellie Moeller, our midwife who is one of the most gentle people I  know. Her birth assistant Pam, who is amazingly patient. Cole Deelah, our doula, who has a spirit more calming that the ocean. And to my husband who stood beside me as I birthed our child, who gave me strength when I needed it! And to the rest of my family and friends for their undying support in our choice to have a home birth! We love you all very much.

The Beauty of Homebirth

It is hard to capture (on film) the gentleness and serene welcome that home birth offers. This video does a beautiful job of just that!



If you are in the Houston area and want recommendations for out-of-hospital birth options, feel free to contact me.

Boardwalks and Home Births

I met you on the boardwalk, a beautifully bronzed burst of sunshine adorned with sparkles, bright yellow, and black flowers that flowed around your barely rounded belly. Your tangled mass of thick, wavy, auburn hair reached down toward your elbows and your smile was as brilliant white as the sun-bleached wicker chairs dotting the deck.

A square jaw jutted forward as you pressed your face toward the wind as you laughed gently at something that was said between your lover and you. Your partner lovingly wrapped his hands around you from behind, caressing your abdomen, before dashing off into the crowd.

I edged closer.

"My, are you ever beautiful! I love a pregnant woman, so full of life!"

You blushed darker bronze and murmured a thanks while outlining the contours of your baby with your palms.

I introduced myself and told you my calling. Instantly, your eyes began to sparkle and dance like the sunlight on the nearby cresting waves, "Oooh! I wanted to have a home birth so badly!" you exclaimed.

"What's holding you back?"

"My partner/I thought it was too risky", "I will definitely look into it further for future pregnancies, but, with my first and because I don't know what to expect, I think the hospital is a better choice", "It seems a little too hippy for me", "My partner is not comfortable with it", "my doctor is just fine and its only one day, right?".

You named your reasons, and I listened quietly, offering only a gentle nod of encouragement to continue. When you had exhausted all of your worries, you looked at me anxiously, apologetically. Your partner appeared as if a mirage and wrapped his sheltering arms around you, moving you away from me and further down the boardwalk.

I grasped your hand in goodbye, pressing my card, and this blog address, into your palm. "I wish you all the luck in the world. You are an amazingly beautiful, strong woman who is doing a good work to bring this beautiful life into the world!"

And you were gone.

I hope you have found your way here. Because I had so much I wanted to tell you!

A midwife and a doctor view birth so much differently! There is a wonderful source of information on what to ask your care provider to find out if they are truly Mother-Friendly, and I invite you to read it here.


Additionally, here is a pretty concise outline of the differences between a midwife and a medical model of care.

Midwives Model of Care	Medical Model of Care
Definition:	Definition:
• Birth is a social event, a normal part of a woman's life. • Birth is the work of the woman and her family. • The woman is a person experiencing a life-transforming event.	• Childbirth is a potentially pathological process. • Birth is the work of doctors, nurses, midwives and other experts. • The woman is a patient.
Definition:	Definition:
• Home or other familiar surroundings. • Informal system of care.	• Hospital, unfamiliar territory to the woman • Bueaucratic, hierarchical system of care
Definition:	Definition:
• See birth as a holistic process • Shared decision-making between caregivers and birthing woman • No class distinction between birthing women and caregivers • Equal relationship • Information shared with an attitude of personal caring. • Longer, more in-depth prenatal visits • Often strong emotional support • Familiar language and imagery used • Awareness of spiritual significance of birth • Believes in integrity of birth, uses technology if appropriate and proven	• Trained to focus on the medical aspects of birth • "Professional" care that is authoritarian • Often a class distinction between obstetrician and patients • Dominant-subordinate relationship • Information about health, disease and degree of risk not shared with the patient adequately. • Brief, depersonalized care • Little emotional support • Use of medical language • Spiritual aspects of birth are ignored or treated as embarrassing • Values technology, often without proof that it improves birth outcome

No matter how natural of a birth you have in a hospital setting, it will never even come close to a home birth. Home births are different on so many different levels than simple surroundings.

"My partner/I thought it was too risky"
There have been many studies throughout the years that have found that home birth is as safe, if not safer, for healthy, low-risk women, as hospital birth. Most recently, a Canadian study has shown these same findings, once again. Home birth midwives will, very often, carry oxygen, and all carry homeopathics as well as are trained in lifesaving CPR and first-aid.

Home birth midwives are experts in normal, natural childbirth. Because they are experts in normal pregnancy and birth, they will see deviations from normal and natural pregnancy and labor/birth early on, be able to assess these variations, and take immediate and early precautionary measures to ensure your safety... this is part of the reason why home birth is so safe.

If your midwife were to see something that did not match normal and natural, she would be able to attempt to get you back to normal and natural before it became an emergency and, if she couldn't, she would be able to transfer you to appropriate care. Home births have come a long way from ripping up bedsheets and boiling water.

"I will definitely look into it further for future pregnancies, but, with my first and because I don't know what to expect, I think the hospital is a better choice"
This particular reason is like a punch to the midsection. There is a large body of women who choose home birth for their second birth because they had a horrible experience with their hospital birth. If you are considering a home birth, your first birth is a great birth to start with - you cannot go back and redo your first birth, and that first birth can impact your options, emotional health and wellbeing, and even fertility of future pregnancies/births.

Some women, by the end of their labor, believe that their doctor/hospital has saved them from a bad outcome, when, in actuality, the hospital or doctor (procedure that they performed) caused the risks that they ended up needing to save you from. But, the perception that is given is that a woman is so thankful that they were in the hospital and are glad that they didn't have a home birth because they 'needed' this or that intervention.

Other women end up with unnecessary cesareans and find it hard to find a homebirth midwife or hospital based doctor who will take her on for a vaginal birth with subsequent pregnancies and births. I am sure you have heard the saying 'there is no time like the present'.

Bottom line, THIS pregnancy and birth is the best one to pursue a home birth for.

"It seems a little too hippy for me"
The wonderful thing about midwifery going mainstream in the last 20 years is that you have all types of midwives now practicing. There are more traditional midwives, as well as more modern midwives. This allows for families to find the right type of midwife to fit their families needs.

I know midwives who wear hemp, bohemian skirts, have dread locks, drink herbal teas, eat a vegan diet, and choose a more natural lifestyle.

I also know midwives who wear high heels, highlight their hair, like cabernet sauvignon and sushi, and have a more urban feel.

And most of the midwives I know fall somewhere in-between. The stereotypical 70's midwife is not the only option anymore, but the continuity of care, the midwifery model, will remain constant no matter whom you choose.

"My partner is not comfortable with it"
Not all partners are men, and not all partners fit this stereotype, but the majority of male partners are not comfortable with home birth at first. They usually don't research and read as much and tend to follow the paternal medical suit more readily.

That said, if you can simply get your partner to go to an initial interview/consultation with a home birth midwife and present it as an opportunity for your partner to ask whatever questions they might have of the midwife, this can, oftentimes, dispel fear, uncertainty, and incorrect stereotypes and assumptions that they might have about home birth and midwives. Oftentimes, just one consultation is all it takes to get a partner to start seriously considering a home birth.

Here and here are two different examples of the types of interview questions you might ask at an initial consult.

And finally, when it comes down to it, although it is always best to have both of you in agreement over your birth options, it is your birth and body, ultimately, it should be your comfort level and decision on where and with whom to birth.

"My doctor is just fine and its only one day, right?"
I know lots of good doctors, I know some 'just fine' docs, and many bad doctors. Not bad at what they do, but bad at taking care of a woman and babies needs and holistic health.

There are doctors who have great bedside personalities, but who are not good doctors. There are doctors who make you feel 'taken care of', but don't shoot straight with you about your options... or disguise your options as necessities so that you don't have true options. And there are doctors who, when you are at your most vulnerable (labor and birth) will 'not allow you' so many things previously promised. It is necessary to more than LIKE your doctor... you must trust him/her with your holistic health and life, and that of your unborn baby. If you don't, you really truly should look for another care provider.

And let's not forget that the average first time labor is around 16 hours. This is average. Some women labor for a few days, some for a few minutes. Beyond the actual laboring time, your birth experience will last with you for much, MUCH longer.. in fact, your whole life. So, if you think it is 'just one day', think again.

My heartfelt desire is for you to remember this moment, which will stick with you for the rest of your life, with joy, trust, love, and fondness. Please make sure that you can trust your care provider for that.

As Dr. Biter said in a recent interview,

They don't even know the difference between natural birth and a vaginal birth. They think that, just because a baby is born out of a vagina that that is a natural birth.

But a natural birth is an unmedicated birth, a birth that is honored, where women and their partners are respected, and where that little buddy comes into this world in a solemn sacred moment. That's what a natural birth is!

There are additional great resources out there that will help you to work through other scenarios that you might encounter to help you make the best choice for you and, hopefully, feel secure in choosing a home birth for your first, beautiful, birthing time.

And finally, just for you, Sunshine Mama, some inspiration!

Hospital to Home - Childbirth at Home on the Rise

"The fact that it's primarily women who had kids before and had birth in hospitals before, certainly suggests it's a reaction to their prior birth," said Eugene Declercq, a professor of community health sciences at the Boston University School of Public Health, and a author of the study. "It certainly suggests it's an experience they don't want to repeat."

ABC reports on a recent study published by the CDC showing that there is a small, but steady, increase in the number of American women opting for a homebirth over a hospital birth.



I was reading through the report and loved how thorough it was in showing the demographics, geographics, and selective characteristics of this study and where the most change is occuring. I am happy, as an advocate of women's choice in place of birth, it is good to see the 'concrete' evidence of what we, in the childbirth industry, have been seeing - women are learning of their options and are becoming proactive about their healthcare -making the choices best suited to them and their situations.

If you are a woman who had a hospital birth (regardless of mode of delivery) and have then opted for a homebirth in subsequent births, I would love to hear your comparison birth stories and reasons for these choices. If you want, email them to me (check my profile).

Immediate Breathing At Birth

Jenna, this one is for you.

I was recently at a birth where baby didn't pink up and start yollering right away. Now, someone who has been at a great number of births can start to tell when it is normal flaccidity that will ebb with a little attention and patience and when baby needs a little help starting up.

But, one of the main concerns I have is how this is managed at the hospital...

This babe was quite shell shocked from a rather severe case of shoulder dystocia and a little tired from the hard work he and mama had done. He was born with no tone, bad color, and no breathing. He was one of those babies that needed a little help. Doc gave him 40 seconds to become responsive and, with vigorous rubbing, sole thumping, and mama and daddy calling him earth bound, pronounced him 'needing more work' and clamped and cut the cord, whisked him away to a nearby table, and continued what they were already doing previously on mama's tummy.

Only now, his oxygen line was gone.

In this study, it is shown, in part, how the presence of oxygen, as well as decreased blood flow in the umbilical cord, help to stimulate a babies first breathe. The downside is, if you are worried about baby showing stimulated response, independent breathing, and coming 'earth side', WHY THE HECK WOULD YOU CUT OFF THEIR ONLY SOURCE OF OXYGEN in hopes that they will start respiration? It is exasperating an already possibly problematic situation.

They rubbed him down... coulda continued to do that while he was still attached. They thumped his heels... coulda continued doing that while he was still attached. They ran the oxygen under his nose... coulda done that while he was still attached.

As it was, he took his first breath, independently, about a minute and 45 seconds after he was born... 45 seconds after he was deprived of his oxygen source. seconds from being intubated. They were literally prepping the line to intubate him when he took his first shaky breath. He began crying lustily and everyone cheered, me included... but they could have avoided that emergently necessary first breath by leaving him attached. The placenta detached 30 minutes later.

I have seen homebirths where baby was born equally shell shocked and the midwife was equally diligent at getting babies first breath initiated... while leaving the cord intact. The difference is that one babe will have to be 'bagged' when the placenta detaches or umbilical cord stops pulsing (generally within 2-5 minutes) vs. baby having to be bagged within 1-2 minutes postpartum. Giving baby that extra cushion can be the difference between an 'emergency' and the emergent first breath.

Most homebirth midwives carry oxygen, the same as hospitals, but usually let nature, and baby, determine when they need to intervene, not before, which reduces risk by default.

.. sigh, I was planning on posting the birthstory of Tres this evening, but this is what you got instead. I have it written down on pen and paper (I know, what is that) and promise to get it up by week ending. I know Mama M and Daddy M are getting anxious to see it, and the pictures - BREATHTAKING (no pun intended).

Watching Birth

The New York Times recently had an article on the inclination that many women of childbearing years have to seek out, and watch, births.

This inclination is a natural, almost instinctual, reaction. Women were made to give birth and women were made to understand birth, helping other women prepare for and give birth.

It is hard wired into our make-up, stitched into our primitive minds, that birth is natural, normal, and good.

Years and years ago, women used to help other women give birth. Birth was in the hands of other women and it was understood that it was women's work.

Then, something happened... and women forgot how to birth instinctively... That, I believe, is why now, when it is available, women gravitate toward good birth stories full of beauty, power, and our bodies abilities - that instinct is still there, lying dormant through all of the statistics and horror stories.

Just a small reminder to gear us up for The birth of Amerlyn Grace.

Twin Homebirth

Oh so beautiful.

Read 'em, watch 'em and weep.

Birth - Mayan Style

Although it is older, this is a sweet video on one couple's choice to travel a long way for the birth they wanted!



Sandi - thought of you when I found this :o)

Taking Away The Choices - We'll Be Left With What?

Surprise, surprise, the AMA wants to take away our right to home birth. Great, strip us of our right to birth our children without policies, procedures, and increased risk? Why would we not passively let you do this? Ugh.

The blog world is COVERED in responses to this - including Ricki Lake's response. I won't link them all, but here are a few...

• A Doula Too
• FireFly Mama
• Journey Birth Wrote Two - A response to the AMA and Ricki Lake's response.
• Spirit Led Birth Wrote Two - A response to the AMA and Ricki Lake's response.
• Hathor the Cow Goddess wrote a response and created a comic.
• Woman to Woman
• Even the Huffington Post
• Permission to Mother - a doc's weigh in

And to end the list, only one of the many reasons we can't let this get ANYWHERE in legislature.


Finally, I am adding the little guy at the top of this post to my sidebar - please consider doing the same.

Interview With a Home Birth Midwfe

This is a great series of 7 videos on Youtube of an interview with a midwife on the basics of home birth.

Introduction to a Midwife


Why Birth At Home Is Safer


Before The Birth


The Birth


After the Birth


Parental Responsibility


If Complications Arise


Go positive education!