One Tough Mudder

This last month my husband and I completely our first Tough Mudder.

 While we were heading through the course, 3/4 of the way done, we spied this gal:

And I asked her if I could take her picture for my readers. She was such an amazing encouragement to me, and I was hoping she would be for you too! Her shirt read "Tough Mudder of Two".. .and that's the truth ladies - you are all Tough Mothers!

Remember, condition and train for your race. And run it well. Give it your all and look back on it with no regrets!

Family Tree Glass

So, I came across this site today. And I have decided that I need THIS... and this, and this and this, and this... oh no... :)

MG Prints

I was witness to the beautiful birth of Sebo awhile ago. A few days ago, a package came into my possession.

I was so excited as I tore open the package to reveal this...


Isn't it gorgeous?

Ok - who of my readers knows what this is?

9/11

Oh the wonderful read that met my eyes this morning. Many of us still remember, still recall, still are affected by, the events of 9/11. I am one of those. When I rolled out of bed this morning the first thing that pressed in on my mind was where I was at when the events of 9/11 unfolded.

When I logged on this morning, I found doulamomma's post. I will repost the article she cites.

Childbirth Education and Doula Care During Times of Stress, Trauma, and Grieving
Debra Pascali-Bonaro, BEd, CD(DONA)

"Immediately after the events of September 11, 2001, I was privileged to play a unique role: coordinating a volunteer program to provide support and service to pregnant women in the greater New York/New Jersey area, where I live, who had been widowed by the terrorist attack. The result was an unprecedented collaborative effort supported by numerous related agencies and individual providers. Despite the group’s impressively amassed knowledge and resources, we identified many gaps in our understanding of how to address the needs of the widows of 9/11 and, in addition, how to generalize such understanding for the needs of other pregnant women in our area who were experiencing stress, trauma, and grief for any reason."

On this day, a day of remembrance, let us honor those whose lives were cut short too quickly, those they left behind, and the volunteers, like Operation Special Delivery (OSD), who continue to give hope and testament to all that is good and right with mankind in a time where there seems to be so much evil and wrong.

If you are an expectant mama, and your partner has been injured, lost their life, or will be deployed/active during your birthing time, you are eligible for the free-services of OSD.

And finally, since we are on the topic of stress, trauma, grief, volunteer support, and the like, let us not forget both the women who volunteer for The Birth Attendants, but also the women they support.

Banners - Oh My!

I have added some banners of businesses that I have used and trust. I would encourage you to check out each of them and see what you think.

Two of my favorites are the Ecoist and Kee-Ka. Both have some wonderfully uncommon items on them! If for no other reason than to see something very different and crave-ful, you should check them out. I have a great number of items on my wish list from both.

If you are looking for something crazy different and very trendy, The Ecoist has some amazing handbags and jewelry made from everything: candy wrappers, glass, vinyl records, pull tabs, newspapers, movie billboards, bike chains, and more! I SO want the Movie Billboard Medium Handbag.

Kee-Ka is a baby, toddler, and pet clothier that uses organic packaging and cotton, fair-trade and fair-wage employees, and promote human rights and equality through hand-selecting their suppliers and producers. I LOVE their organic monkey clothing and bedding line.

Cravings!

Speaking of cravings (sorry, I hear myself sounding like an infomercial), I can't help but plug Traverse Bay Farms. I was raised for a good part of my childhood in the beautiful Traverse Bay area. They have super yummy dried super fruits, organic fruits, and fruit supplements. Oh, and the wonderfully addictive Pineapple Salsa - can't forget that. Man, my mouth is watering now!

Ok - that's enough of my selfish promotions. :o) Hope you have fun surfing some great sites!

Bellies and Babies - Wordle Style

I am in love with Wordle. If you have never tried it, check it out.

And, without further ado, here is the Bellies and Babies blog... ala Wordle

Tea and it's Benefits ala Dry Erase Board

Take a moment to watch this really neat, albeit OT, video on the benefits of TEA. Who would have thought a dry-erase board would be SOOOO entertaining?



BTW, this video is part of a contest to win a $20,000 scholarship. The number of views she gets helps her to win the contest. So, pass it on if you were entertained and educated!

Did you know?

I am on facebook? See many random pictures of our family (if you are into that sort of thing) here. I would love to have you as a friend if you are on facebook too!

We're Baaack

We had a wonderful trip. The four eldest kids went to my dad and step-mom's for the weekend. They take all of the potty-trained kids for 4 days during something called Gran-Camp. They had a great time, going on scavenger hunts, treasure hunts, playing in the wade pool, having a tea party, cooking out back, going to the zoo... it was a riot for them.

While they were gone being kids, Calvin, Xman, and I bummed around Chicago. It was the weekend of Lolapalooza, although we tried our hardest to avoid all things paloozaish. I uploaded those photos to our facebook account. See them there!

Tagged

Wow - it's been awhile since I have been tagged! I am weird in that I LOVE being tagged (for future reference).

Traveling Midwife tagged me over at her blog (thanks). So, without further ado... my answers!

What were you doing 10 years ago?

I was just finishing up the summer working as an assistant manager at a Dry Dock and Bistro after graduating High School that previous spring. Plans to start college with a major in Music Therapy in August.

Five things on my to do list:

• Make Thank You notes for my new favorite L&D nurse at Williamson and new favorite VBAC OB.
• Send out a bill payment
• Finish highlighting and assigning parts for "Birth"
• Call venue for BOLD and set up our next meeting
• Go get my new palm synched with my old contacts.

Got lots more, want me to keep going?... lol

What snacks do you like?

• Wholly Guacamole - spicy, with blue corn chips
• Grape Salad
• chocolate-covered pretzels
• mild cheddar cheese and pretzels
• choco-cherry brownie ice cream (can't find it anymore... any help?)
• Raisinettes
• movie theater popcorn with lots of salt and butter (don't get it very often, but I do crave once in a long while)
• Celery and Roasted Red Pepper Hummus
• Olive Tapenade on Baguette toast with mozzarella

What would you do if you were a billionaire?
I would open a free-standing birthing and women's center in Nashville. Nearby, and in conjunction with it, I would open a young women's home for unwed pregnant teens. There, we would give them skills to help find good jobs to sustain them and their families, work with them on resumes and computer proficiency/skill proficiency, teach basic home-maker skills and parenting, and help them get the assistance they needed to be self-sufficient and strong.

I would buy my family a home and my mom a home. I would then invest into other organizations looking to change our culture for the better and other less-fortunate communities to be self-sustaining.

Three bad habits

For those who know me, please don't start LOOKING for these to point them out...

• using 'ya'll' and 'eh' in the same sentence (south meets north-yupper).
• shortening peoples names as much as possible (Lindsay turned to Lins turned to L in the span of 10 months).
• saying 'buuuuut...' at the end of a thought. And, as dh so kindly pointed out, I don't say "Buht"... I pronounce it "baaaaht"

Five places you have lived

• Interlochen, Michigan
• Grand Rapids, Michigan
• Holland, Michigan
• Detroit, Michigan
• Rockford, Illinois
• Crystal Lake, Illinois
• Las Angeles, California
• Nashville, Tennessee

Five jobs you've had

• Of, course, the obvious - Childbirth Educator
• And the second most obvious - Doula
• Assistant Manager for a Wine Dock and Bistro
• Customer Service for a Theater
• Administrative Assistant for AT&T
• Secretary/everything-they-could-find-for-me-to-do-and-milk-all-of-my-talents-to-their-greatest-extent for an insurance agency
• Housekeeper for a major furniture manufacturer

How did you name your blog?

Psalm 139 says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I work with women (bellies) and their newborns (babies)... hence, wonderfullymadebelliesandbabies... Or, Bellies and Babies for short.


Alrighty - I tag Lindsay, Kris, Jenn, Micky and Kim

American Idol

Yes, I am an Idol fanatic. I have loved it since conception, despite the silly and nails-down-the-chalkboard early season shows... all the way to the top two.

At the top 32 stage, I told my husband I believed the top guys and gals would be:

Girls:
Brooke White
Syesha Mercado
Carly Smithson

Boys:
Jason Castro
David Cook
Michael Johns

I was wrong about one so far, but this is the first season I have not been able to tell the top 6 guys and gals before we got there.

Currently, my top two favorites are Brooke White and Jason Castro, although I love love Syesha as well. I believe I WOULD love Carly equally, except knowing that she has had 'her chance' kind of pales my enthusiasm for her a bit. I know, picky, aren't I?

Who do you like?

BOLD

The Nashville Birth Network is in the baby-stages of coordinating their own BOLD event 2008. I am excited. I attempted to do this solo last year, but came up against many an obstacle. BOLD stands for Birth on Labor Day and is a collaborative effort to bring awareness to Maternal-Friendly Health Care, bring back woman to woman wisdom (W2W), and support birth choice advocacy programs through financial donations.

So, take 2, many more ppl involved. I am nervous. Did I mention I was excited?

Have you heard of BOLD? If not, please take a moment to see their 12 minute video on the power of W2W wisdom and how it can change the face of maternal care.

If you so desire, Karen Brody, the playwright for Birth (the play central to BOLD), has a blog where she has some GREAT wisdom to impart. It gives you a better look at the heart behind the play.

Along the same vein, let me also make a plug for UBUMAMA - a phrase meaning "motherhood" - a grassroots movement in Africa designed to bring awareness to safe mother care and what it means to be a woman in this area of the world. Their 'marketing' is to sew their birthstories, lifestories, hopes and fears onto the garments that their babies wear! Beautiful!

Award

By accepting this Excellent Blog Award, I have to award it to 10 more people who’s blog’s I find Excellent Award worthy. I can give it to as many people as I want but please award at least 10. Thank you out there for having such great blogs and being such great friends! You deserve this! If chosen, you agree to the same information above. If chosen, also feel free to award people who have already been awarded…

Well, thank you 2Caps, for the award! I am flattered and adequately blushing! The kind thing she said about me?

"Nicole has her very own childbirth education curriculum now! She believes we are fearfully and wonderfully made and that birth is a good thing, and I agree with her! "

Now I need to award some people. Here is my role-call of awardees. Please see the above information to claim your award...

1. Kris - for being the Most Compassionate and Passionate New Doula-In-Training Blogger.
   
2. VBACWarrior - for being the Most Controversial, Raw, and Educational VBAC Blogger.
3. Sheridan - for having the Most Eloquently Scripturally Tied Birth Advocacy Post I have read in a long time.
4. Corin - gets two... for having the Most Eye-Pleasing Layout AND for having the Most Easily Digestible Educational Pieces (meaning that the lay man can read em and the fence rider can accept them).
   
5. umm... Corin got TWO....
   
6. Guinever - for the Best Menu Bar and Side Bar - she gets mad props for loads of easy to find, user-friendly information on her blog. And it doesn't look messy!
   
7. Maria - for some of the Most Beautiful Birth Stories and Pictures on the bloggernet.
8. Kathy - for one of the Most "Huh... Insightful and Thoughtworthy" Posts in The Disappearing Woman
9. Carla - for What She Has Started and Is Doing in the Birth Advocacy World.
10. Andrea - for Being 'The One' (we all hope to be) and Spreading the Word. - her blog often makes me cry, often motivates me, never ceases to astound and ground me.
    

What do you know about birth?

You have 100% of the knowledge you need to give birth the way your

Hello Birth Warrior! You question everything you're told about birth and there is no doubt that the birth your baby has will be the best possible birth you can give. You're not afraid of doctors or the word "no" and you keep pushing until you get the results you want.

Do you know how to give birth?
Take More Quizzes

Vegan (or not), Energy, Yum

This is a recipe I received from my Aunt (kind of)... I modified it and now use it for yummy power ups for myself or my mommies while they are in labor. You can make it vegan or not... the egg white makes it fluffier.

2 pkgs Good Baker Chocolate Cake / Muffin Mix
1 can pumpkin (not pie filling) - standard size (not the large one).
1 egg white (optional)

Mix these three (or two) ingredients together and put in muffin tins. Bake at 350 for 19-25 minutes.

Obviously, if you want vegan, simply omit the egg white.

This recipe is good because:

Pumpkin is considered a "health food". It is high in vitamin A, in the form of beta-carotene. Beta-carotene helps lower the incidence of some cancers. Vitamin A helps aid in good vision, healthy skin, a strong immune system, and bone and teeth development. Pumpkin is also a good source of Vitamin C which helps to fight infection. Vitamin C is a water soluble nutrient which needs to be replenished in the body, daily. Pumpkin is high in dietary fiber, which is often lacking in American diets. Fiber is important for proper digestion and elimination. Pumpkin contains about 40 calories per 1 cup serving.

In addition, the vegan chocolate cake mix is a good source of fiber and protein. Combined with the egg, we have a power food for labor (and pregnancy as well). Enjoy.

Tis The Season For Gifts!

The first official Bellies and Babies Giveaway is afoot. Granted, the winner will not get their gift until the first part of the new year, but here we go.

I am giving away a doula bag. This is a good gift for an expectant parent or new doula (or doula in training). It will be full of samples, a massage and relaxation booklet, a rundown on how to use all of the tools in the bag, and, of course, many tools of the doula trade. Since I sell these professionally, I cannot give you a list of everything included, but it retails for $80. Nuff said. :o)

All entries must be received by January 8th. The drawing will be random and will be held on January 11th. I will post the winner on my blog as well as email the lucky person!

How you can enter:
1) Place a link to my blog on your blog
2) send me a comment OR email with a link to the posting on your blog.
3) you will receive one entry

How you can get 2 additional entries into the drawing:
1) email 4 of your friends with a short blurb about why they should visit my blog
2) "Bellies and Babies" should be in the subject line
2) CC me in the email

This is in an effort to raise awareness about birth rights and to promote active birthing - hence the gift. Good luck and Merry Christmas!

Hm Hm Hm, Hm Hm Hm, Hm Hm Humm Hu-Hm...

What carol is that? lol!

Tis' the season, and here are some pictures!

Christmas production - Bri as an angel, Kairi as a cow, Charis and Jocelyn as sheep:



Here are some at the Opryland Hotel:



And here is some random Christmas-i-ness:

Reader's Questions...

Kim asked: "How do you find you work with midwives at homebirths? What services do you generally replicate? What services do you provide post-partum that midwives do not?"

As another Doula said recently, it is a treat to attend home births. I may be kicking myself in the gut for this one later, but I am going to be honest - we, as doula's, are most beneficial at hospital births, as that is the place where you will not have as much support, need more advocacy intervention, and not be assigned one support person to be with you throughout the duration of the journey.

Times when we compliment midwife-attended home births well: when the S/O or dh is not involved, is deployed, works long-distance - or it otherwise not available, when mom has other children who could use distraction or someone to ask questions to, or when MW lives a far way away, mom has a history of fast labors, or a combo of the two.

I have found that midwives are VERY open to a doula attending a home birth as many women feel safer surrounded (literally) by female energy (and no, this is not a New Age or Scientology thing). Often, in a home birth setting, I arrive before the midwife does, help midwife to assess when it would be a good time for her to come over, make food/drinks, clean up, help with the kids, answer phones, assist said midwife, AND help with regular doula goings-on.

The best way to explain it is this: in a home birth setting, I am an extra pair of hands and a comforter. In a hospital setting, I am an advocate, a mediator, a monitor, a comforter, a servant, and a constant companion.

I don't provide much pp that a midwife won't, although I may be able to get over to your home sooner for something than your midwife, depending on how many clients your mw has at that time/season... I also offer, at your 2 week, to do ANYTHING you need: answer questions, go over the birth story, fold some laundry, pick up a prescription, watch the older kids so momma and baby can take a 2 hour nap, run the vacuum, help with breastfeeding, etc... I don't know many mw's who do the domestic duties at check-ins.

Amber asked (sorry no linky): "When a woman has been determined "high risk" for preterm labor and given bedrest from 20 weeks into her pregnancy, does that automatically preclude a natural childbirth from happening, assuming the pregnancy is continued to full term. Yes, the situation is mine. I am now almost 22weeks and desperate to know if 14weeks of bedrest automatically means a C-section. I've been dreaming about giving birth for so long and I just can't find any help."

Amber - it all depends on what reasons you have been given for 'high risk'. In most situations, natural childbirth is the safest route of birth for both baby and mom. This is doubly true for babies who might have other 'issues' at birth - as medication in birth can further compromise the health of mom and baby, vaginal, unmedicated birth is even more important. Again, I would need more information on your particular situation before I would be able to address your specific needs... but, with what information you gave me, my answer is 'no, bedrest does not automatically preclude a natural childbirth from happening'.

You could probably find a CBE willing to do a private, in-home CBE course for you, and a doula who was familiar with your particular situation could greatly benefit you - as well as doing your own research to become as familiar with your situation as possible - knowing the risks of different interventions, so that when your medical team suggests something you can be well prepared with your own armory of information. As I repeat often to mom's, 'no one is responsible for your health care and that of your unborn baby but YOU'.

I love answering readers' questions and welcome ppl to write their own in the comments. If you leave your linky, I will buzz you to let you know I have responded to your Q.

Bliss

After 4 'failed attempts' at EBFing with the other chillens, I am in heaven - Xman is 15 months old and going strong.

Say hi to Xman (and my boob).

Sweetness that it is, while he is nursing we often have music playing in the background or I sing. He hums along and taps out the rhythm on my breast OR conducts with one finger raised. So precious!

A (unconventional, probably more accurate than most) Christmas Play

NARRATOR: And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed. And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. And Jospeh also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, to be taxed with Mary, his espoused wife, being great with child.

(Children sing quietly in background) “Little donkey, little donkey, on the dusty road … ” etc

MARY: Stop! Stop! (Looks around wildly) I need to find a bush!

JOSEPH: I TOLD you to go before we left the house!

MARY: I DID go before we left the house!

JOSEPH: We’ve only been on the road 5 minutes! You must have a bladder the size of a pea!

MARY: Oh yeah? You try riding an ass with rickets over these bumpy roads with a great big full-term baby tap-dancing on your bladder! Maybe it’s YOU that’s got a BRAIN the size of a pea, mister!

NARRATOR: And when he heard this, he was troubled at her saying, and cast in his mind what manner of salutation this should be.

(Mary struggles to dismount and scurries off.)

JOSEPH: Come on, Mary, we’ll get stuck in rush hour!

MARY: I AM hurrying – ow – drat these thorn bushes! – my center of gravity is off!

Pause.

MARY: (anxiously) ummm, Joseph, do you see any good leaves?

(Mary climbs gingerly on donkey.)

MARY: Oooof!

JOSEPH: Think of the benefit to your pelvic floor, sweetie!

(They plod on.)

MARY: Are we there yet?

JOSEPH: (sighs) We’ve only been –

MARY: I know! I know! We’ve only been on the road 5 minutes.

(Joseph looks around.)

JOSEPH: I wonder which way?

MARY: Check the map.

JOSEPH: Maps haven’t been invented yet.

MARY: Ask someone!

JOSEPH: No, no, it must be – this way, I think. (more hesitantly) This can’t be right.

MARY: (climbs down) well, while you’re trying to find out where we are, I’m going to find a bush ….

JOSEPH: (heavenward) God? God? Hey, is this your idea of being funny? Here I am, stuck in the middle of nowhere, going somewhere I’ve never been, with a wife I’m not married to, whose carrying a baby that’s not mine! I sure hope there’s some cosmic purpose in all this!

MARY: Joseeeeeeeph! My bowels are runny and I think I’m losing my mucous plug!

JOSEPH: Great! Thanks for sharing, honey!

MARY: (waddles back looking concerned). Are we th –

JOSEPH: (testily) NO!!!

MARY: All right, all right, keep your cloak on!

(Some time later)

MARY: (irritably) Can’t you shut those children up? (They have been droning an endless loop of “Little Donkey” in the background throughout.)

JOSEPH: Shh! (to children, who stop singing, look disappointed, shrug and leave).

MARY: Ow! Joseph, PLEEEZE drive more smoothly, do you have to hit EVERY pothole and speedbump!

JOSEPH: I’m trying babe, but this donkey has a mind of its own!

Mary groans or catches her breath with each step and stumble the donkey makes.

JOSEPH: Are you OK, babe?

MARY: It’s these Braxton-Hicks contractions. All this bumping and jiggling makes them happen more.

JOSEPH: Braxton and Hicks haven’t been born yet.

MARY: (wails) You NEVER validate anything I say!

(Mary grips donkey’s mane with both hands and look strained, trying not to groan with every footfall.)

JOSEPH: Are you sure you’re OK, babe?

MARY: No, actually, I’m not OK! I’m 9 months pregnant, I’m tired, I’m hungry, I’m thirsty, my back aches, my legs ache, my pants are wet and - (starts crying) – I just want to go home!

(Joseph stops leading the donkey and comes around to hold out his arms to her for a hug. Mary weeps. She starts to breath differently, holding on tight to Joseph.

MARY: Joe, I don’t think that was a Braxton Hicks. That hurt right down low.

(Jospeh looks around, worried.)

JOSEPH: Look, you can already see the lights of Bethlehem. We’re nearly there! Hang in there babe. Do you want to walk for a bit? Come on babe – (he helps her dismount. Mary walks. She stops, breathes, does a little labor dance, waggles her hands to indicate to Joseph to come hold her. She walks more, repeats...)

MARY: Joe, I think walking makes them come more. I think I’d better get back on.

They proceed with Joseph walking beside the donkey trying to support Mary.

They enter Bethlehem. It’s very busy.

JOSEPH: Excuse me! Excuse me please – ah, my wife here is just about ready to have a baby and we’re looking for the Inn –

MAN: There’s no room at the Inn – that was booked out weeks ago!

JOSEPH: Well, is there anywhere else?

MAN: Do you have a reservation?

JOSEPH (blankly) A reservation?

MARY: (Through gritted teeth) I can’t BELIEVE you didn’t make reservations!

(She clambers off the donkey purposefully and leans forward over the donkey’s back, breathing and swaying her hips. The man stares, Joseph looks more concerned. A matronly woman notices Mary’s posture and stops.)

WOMAN: This little lady hasn’t long to go! You can’t be schlepping about all over town trying to find a room! You poor little treasure (kisses and pats Mary) you’re hardly more than a baby yourself! Is it easing now? Good. Come on then. I know a place that will do. It’s not exactly 5 Star – Bring Your Own Star more like it – but it’s shelter and it’s private and you’ll be left in peace at least. That’s right darling, you’re a strong healthy girl, take my arm, hubby’s right there on the other side, we’ll have you sorted out in no time. How far apart now?

NARRATOR: And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

WOMAN: Now it might smell a bit mucky, but the straw’s all clean. Joseph, we’ll need your cloak, that’s right, just lay it down here. Now this milking stool will be perfect! Remember, Mary, the Hebrew women are not as the Egyptian women, but they are lively and give birth upon the stools! We’ll get gravity on your side!

That’s your heritage darling, a quick easy birth for you, because you are blessed and the fruit of your womb is blessed, that’s the blessing Yahweh gave to Abraham! That’s right, that’s right, settle yourself on the stool, lovely open pelvis, that’s the way. Now Joseph, if you just kneel in front of her, she can lean forward and have a lovely cuddle, that’s the way. And rest. Just rest. Yes. Yes. There you go.

(Mary breathes intently through a contraction and moans at the peak)

WOMAN: All that walking and donkey riding has gotten you well along, you’ve already done most of the work. And you’ve prepared all these nice clean cloths. Perfect. Sensible girl. We’ll put fresh straw in the feeding trough and it will make a perfect little cradle. You’ll be holding him in your arms before you know it. You’re doing perfectly.

JOSEPH: Lord, sorry about before. You’ve worked everything out. (He prays for his wife).

MARY: (starts her breathing only to grunt at the top) UMF! Uh, I think I just pushed. This is what Elizabeth did when I attended her. Johnny was born just a little after that. Joey, I think I am pushing!

(Mary leans forward with the next one, holding Joseph's hands and grunts into it)

JOSEPH: Whoa! There is something down there! It's got hair too!

NARRATOR: And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them at the inn.

And it came to pass that verily, Mary was at the end of her tether because the holy infant was screaming its head off.

(Mary is lying down, an exhausted arm flopped over her eyes. Joseph is pacing with the roaring baby, jiggling it. A childish chorus croons “Silent Night” in the background.)

JOSEPH: Maybe he needs changing.

MARY: I just changed him.

JOSEPH: Maybe he needs to nurse.

MARY: I JUST NURSED HIM!!!

(Joseph tries to rock and soothe, to no avail).

MARY: Ei Ei Ei! I need some shepherd's purse and milk thistle to calm my nerves! Can’t you take him outside for a moment so I can at least clean myself up?

JOSEPH: It’s freezing out there!

MARY: Just for 5 minutes? Please? Use the sheepskin!

JOSEPH: Blessed art thou among women? CRANKY art thou among women more like it! (He struggles to wrap the sheepskin around the screaming baby and leaves.)

MARY: Lord, that angel I thought I saw - unless it was just too much falafel – said I was highly favored! I sure don’t feel very favored right now! I’m sore both ends, I’m LEAKING both ends – and if that baby is really your baby then why is he screaming blue bloody murder all the time? Shouldn’t he be meek and mild and QUIET???

NARRATOR: And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, not being sure of exactly where to find the new born king, they heard the screaming from afar and drew nigh.

SHEPHERD 1: (a family man, uncertainly) Ummm, is this the kid that’s wrapped in swaddling cloths and sleeps in the feeding trough?

JOSEPH: (sleep-deprived) Huh?

SHEPHERD 2 (a younger man, eyeing the squalling bundle in Joseph’s arms) Man, what’s wrong with him?

JOSEPH: I’d better take him inside before he gets too cold.

SHEPHERD 1: (knowledgeably) No, they don’t like to be cold. Uh – is there a - a manger in there?

JOSEPH: A manger?

(Singing children promptly launch forth into ‘Away In A Manger).

SHEPHERD 3 (a boy) : well, you see these heavenly host dudes were going about a manger, saying it was a sign and all.

JOSEPH: well, yes, there is a manger actually, but we hardly ever use it. He seems to like sleeping next to us where he can smell Mary’s milk. Then she doesn’t have to get up when he wants to feed.

(They go in.)

JOSEPH: Hi honey. There’s some guys here to see the baby.

MARY: (wearily) Do they know how to get him to stop crying?

SHEPHERD 1: Er, well, there is something we do that seems to work well with the lambs. May I?

(He takes the baby and holds him over his shoulder, head down.)

MARY: (startled, starts to get up). What on earth are you doing for heaven’s sake!?

(Baby belches loudly and the crying begins to ease.)

SHEPHERD 1: There you go, it was just a bit of wind. He might have a touch of colic. If the lambs get discomforted like this, we just - (he adjusts the baby so he is “wearing” the baby around his neck) - carry them like this, so their tummy gets a massage. (He bounces gently, with confidence, and the baby settles). Works on my kids, too! I used to walk down the road carrying my second boy like this, to give his mother a break.

Why don’t you two go out for a moment? You could use a break. Even the ewes get stir-crazy if they’re cooped up with their lambs too long. We’ll keep an eye on this little feller.

JOSEPH: Come on babe! (pulls Mary up).

SHEPHERD 1: (to Jesus, as he cradles him in his arms.) So you’re the one who’s going to be the Shepherd of your people Israel! Well, well! (He starts to hum, and begins crooning a lullaby):

“He shall lead His flock like a shepherd. He shall carry the lambs in His arms. And carry them in His bosom. And gently lead those that are with young.”

(Jospeh and Mary see their baby is in good hands and venture outside. They sit down on a hill side and snuggle close because of the cold.)

JOSEPH: Did you ever see such an amazing starry sky? Like you could reach out and touch them.

MARY: Is that a planet? Look at that one! It’s huge! Right above us!

JOSEPH: Maybe it’s the star!

MARY: What star?

JOSEPH: You know. The star you have to bring when you bring your own star.

MARY: God even provided the star. Joseph, do you really think that little baby in there is the son of God?

JOSEPH: (chuckles and cuddles Mary). Look at this way babe. You know how the baby was born, right?

MARY: All too well!

JOSEPH: (Meaningfully) Well, do you have any idea at all how you got pregnant?

(Mary laughs and blushes).

MARY: (musing) A virgin shall bring forth a child. Remember the old prophecy? Joe, don’t you find it strange how these supernatural, miraculous things are all mixed up with such ordinary things? Why would God choose such ordinary people like us, and have his son born in a smelly old shed? I sometimes wonder if I imagined the angel and everything.

JOSEPH: I know for a fact that I didn’t imagine my angel. I was terrified! I didn’t sleep for a week! Did you know those shepherds back there saw a whole sky full of angles? That’s how they knew to come find us!

MARY: (wryly) I thought it was all my yelling.

JOSEPH: Well, that too!

MARY: But you know, Joseph, it hasn’t been easy, it’s not always a smooth ride –

JOSEPH: yeees dear, and you let me know it!

MARY: (playfully thumps Joseph) You have your ornery moments too! But even so, it seems like God has every little detail all worked out, you know, even that long journey helped my labour, and the midwife who just happened to be there, and the shed just happened to have fresh straw –

JOSEPH: And those shepherds sure turned up right when we seriously needed a break!

MARY: That dear little baby! It’s amazing. I can hardly take it all in.

JOSEPH: I guess God likes to use ordinary people and ordinary things so His miracles are all the more special. Just store these things in your heart, Mary. They’ll come back to you like precious jewels in a treasure chest in years to come.

MARY: Yes. I will.

NARRATOR: And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.