Happy Father's Day - To Brian

I talk so much about the mamas I work with and the births I attend, but it's almost Father's Day. When I suggested to a few of the mamas I worked with that they take the chance to publicly thank their partners/husbands, the jumped at it. So here's Brianna's (Jennifer's) Father's Day note!

They say that every girl marries a guy just like her dad...well, my dad is an extremely loving, happy, compassionate and wonderful man...and so is my husband, Brian.  Our daughter Brianna absolutely adores her daddy, as do I.  Happy Father's day, Bry, we love you!

The Best Dad In The World

I’m the best dad in the world. Well, at least that’s what my wife assures me. To her, I wear a gigantic S on my chest. Babies swoon and women fall into blissful slumber (or was it the other way around?). But let me tell you a little secret – it’s not because I solve the world’s problems, it’s because I love her. Right now, every dude who’s reading this is thinking ‘great, I’m going to be the best dad in the world too’. But hold up. There’s a way to love a woman, and I’m not talking about the ‘take me now’ type of lovin’ that so many of us Neanderthalic men consider ‘love’ to be.

My wife says that I’m the best dad in the world because, moments after we found out that we were pregnant with our first, when she turned to me and said she wanted a homebirth, I didn’t faint, scream, vomit, or even blink. I hugged her, said ‘that’s great’ and asked her for more information. Then, when she brought me piles of literature and studies, guess what, I read them all. Yup, you read that right. This guy got down and dirty with Marsden Wagner and Ina May.

My wife says that I’m the best dad in the world because, even though, truth be told, I really had no interest in childbirth whatsoever, I went to her midwife appointments. I didn’t just go; I asked if I could find babies heartbeat. I asked if I could measure her fundus. I asked “insightful” questions (midwife’s words, not mine) and tried to learn all that I could so that I would be a competent birth partner. When it was time to attend childbirth classes, I didn’t just attend, I participated. I made sure to out-participate every other male in the room. And, when she accidently passed gas in the middle of a squat, I piped up, ‘Excuse me, must be couvade”.

My wife says that I’m the best dad in the world because, when she started to gain too much weight for the midwife’s liking and she did an overhaul on my wife’s diet, I went on the diet too. I dieted whether I was at home or not. When she got incessant cravings for chocolate, I went on a one-man mission to find the most awesome, healthy alternative possible: frozen chocolate avocado custard. I called her sexy, beautiful, desirable… and not only to her face, but to everyone else as well.

My wife says that I’m the best dad in the world because I really take my job seriously – I’m her biggest fan and made sure everyone knew it. When family and friends began questioning our sanity and our babies safety for some of our choices, there was no hesitation; I firmly told them where they can shove their opinions. I went so far as to tell my mom that she can either get with the program (‘here mom, read these’) or we would be happy to send her a birth announcement and there’s the door. It didn’t matter what family get-together it was, who it was, or what kind of smack they were talking. If it ruffled my princess’s bubble of peace, this knight-in-shining-armor would knock them off their high horses. Might I add, all of that reading and all of those visits to the midwife made me a formidable adversary; I knew my shit.

My wife says I’m the best dad in the world because, through 36 hours of strong labor, I was present. When she said ‘call the doula’, I called the doula. When she said I wasn’t doing it right, I asked the doula to do it for her. When she told me to shut up, I got excited, not offended. I set up a birth pool, made her snacks, brushed her hair off her forehead, lit candles, and hung her birth banner. When she got down on hands and knees and roared like a lion, I told her she was amazing. And when she told me to get in to the tub with her as our baby was crowning, I hopped in: cell phone, jeans, and all! She brought our baby up to her chest and I tell you, I was a mess (and I’m not talking about the birth water – even though that’s some funky stuff).

And she said I was the best dad in the world.

Truth be told, she didn’t need me there, for any of it, she never did. She could have made the whole journey with just her midwife and her doula; probably even without them. But she wanted me to go on this journey with her. She invited me, and even though I didn’t know it at the time, there was no other place that I would have rather been.

How was I the best dad in the world when our baby was mere moments old? Because I had proven myself for the 9 months that she was busy being the best mom in the world. She didn’t need a doubter – she had that in all of the hecklers around us. She didn’t need a savior – that would only undermine her amazing baby-makingness. She didn’t need a jokester – she had as much of that as she could stomach on TV and movies. She wanted someone to take the journey with. And I tell you what, the moment I saw the culmination of our love embodied in this perfect little human, I sure was thankful that our son was given the best dad in the world!

Allen is the father of one, a 2 month old son. He and his wife live in the Houston area and are home birthing, cloth diapering, and EBFing their child (well, she is EBFing). You can sometimes find him hiding his cape under a moby wrap while he wears his son during a walk through the park.

Happy Father's Day - To Ahren

I talk so much about the mamas I work with and the births I attend, but it's almost Father's Day. When I suggested to a few of the mamas I worked with that they take the chance to publicly thank their partners/husbands, the jumped at it. So here's Sharon's (Alicia's) Father's Day note!

My name is Sharon and I'm about to tell you about the world's greatest daddy. First, he agreed to go along with my mama's "crazy" idea of a home birth, which turned out to be the best thing for us. You see, she went through 34 hours of labor (not counting 3 nights of off and on contractions) to get me here. We stalled at 6cm for 10 hours. Had we been in a hospital, I would have been a c-section baby and that was the last thing any of us wanted. My daddy stayed with us through it all. We had lots of support at our house during my birth...our midwife, doula, and photographer were all there. He could have taken a break anytime and mama and I would have been just fine but he refused. He wouldn't let any one fuss over his own exhaustion but powered through well into our long labor. He was our rock and support...emotionally and physically. Mama says she'd never seen "that side of him" and my birth is one of her favorite memories of him loving her and them working together.

After I was born, daddy took charge. Mama focused on me and breastfeeding and cuddling and sleeping. Daddy handled the laundry, all the meals (thank goodness mama prepared a whole bunch of freezer meals ahead of time!), kept up the house, took care of the dog, welcomed visitors, became an herbal bath expert and helped us get breastfeeding off to the right start by calling an LC (without being asked!) when we were having trouble.

At the time we lived in a two story house. Bedrooms and a living area upstairs, kitchen and more living area downstairs. To put it all into perspective, mama and I did not go downstairs for 11 DAYS.
And that, my friends, is what you call a rock star daddy!

Happy Father's Day - To Mitchell

I talk so much about the mamas I work with and the births I attend, but it's almost Father's Day. When I suggested to a few of the mamas I worked with that they take the chance to publicly thank their partners/husbands, the jumped at it. So here's Ellie's Father's Day note!

Being pregnant with twins wasn’t in the game plan. So many changes needed to be made to my birth plan, and the threat of a c-section loomed. I felt so broken down. Time and time again you found ways to build me up. You didn’t mind when I called you at work crying about how scared I was. You tolerated my crabbiness. You powered through long nights of my constant tossing and turning. You gave up your days off for doctor interviews, prenatal appointments, and ultrasounds. As my pregnancy was nearing its end, and I was becoming more and more impatient, you reminded me to embrace every moment of it that I had left. You were my perfect supporter during labor and birth. You made me laugh until the contractions took over, you held my hand and gave me strength when I was ready to give up, and above all you believed in me.

It hasn’t been easy going from being a mother or one to a mother of three overnight, but you have kept me afloat. You have been a shining light in my darkest moments. Every single day you help me to be the best parent possible. You might think that I don’t listen, but when you tell me that I’m a good mom, it means everything. Your unconditional love helps me to love myself. 

I love sharing this parenting journey with you. We have embraced a natural lifestyle to ensure that our kids grow up healthy. We have changed our parenting style to ensure that they are happy. You work long days so that I am able to stay home with our babies. Even on our most stressful days I wouldn’t want to parent with anyone else on the planet. I am so proud to be your partner. I am so incredibly glad that our kids have such a strong, loving, and caring daddy to look up to. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of the sacrifices you have made, for all of the support you give, and for the insane amount of love that you give to the kids and me everyday. I love you.