A Warrior

When we talk about birth warriors.. many women think of the woman who gets to birth how she wants, no matter what adversity she faces. This story, though, is about another type of birth warrior, one that I was honored to attend, the one that births on her own terms, making the difficult choices, choices that remain her choices. The woman who is dealt a difficult situation but retains her dignity,  her autonomy, and her power throughout.

This woman is a birth warrior.

Angela, you are a warrior in every sense of the term. Through getting to know you prenatally, I could see the grit and determination that you carried from other areas of your life, other challenges that you had faced and were now facing, and knew you were 'that woman' who other women look up to and admire!

During your birthing time, when you called me to your side, we knew something was off. Baby's heart rate wasn't doing what we like to see it do. We talked through why your care provider was worried, what it may mean, and what your options were for your birthing journey.

You were given all of your options, realistic expectations, and possible outcomes. You chose your plan of care through careful consideration and steadfast assuredness. You worked your way through your options, from least intervening to most intervening. As each option showed that it didn't resolve the issue, you were quick to voice your next choice.

Your care provider, though he didn't agree with you, honored and respected your choices. When the final options were weighed and tested, you were given the concrete knowledge and assurance that you had tried everything in your power to resolve baby's heart rate.

As your baby was brought out of your body, you knew in your heart of hearts that you had done everything you could do for your baby, and the final gift you gave her during your birthing journey was surrender. Although there may be disappointment, there are no regrets in her birthed story. You are confident that you worked hard for her, and you were given closure that they were able to find the reason for her not tolerating a vaginal birth journey. It may have been out of your hands but you were always in control of your birthing journey.

Angela, you are a birth warrior. You are a life warrior. You are an inspiration to me and, if more women knew the details of your journey, you would be such an inspiration to them! Welcome baby girl, and congratulations family R!


AMB said...

Usually a quiet reader of your posts I loved this morning's story, as it reminded me in parts so much of the birth of my 2nd son 6 months ago.

I have been trying to come to terms of not actually having birthed my son "As your baby was brought out of your body" is such a gentle phrase!

And I also realized that my search for closure is still ongoing because it was never clear why my son was not able to tolerate the vaginal birth; the birthing hormones (I never felt contractions, but they were measurable), seem to have caused heart problems and 2 days after birth (still in the NICU for observation) they disappeared. But it is all so vague, no one could tell me how serious this condition was, all answers to my questions were unspecific. I know my midwife tried everything the textbooks recommend, but I was not in control. I don't understand why everything had to go so superfast (35min from arrival at hospital to hearing the baby scream); the baby had very good APGAR scores, and an ultrasound had shown him moving well. It was "just" a scary low heart rate (80bpm and less) - I wish I would have stood up more. I asked for 5min to catch my breath - but was rolled into the OR during those 5min. No, I am not a birth warrior. I never birth this babe, it was ripped out of me.

Thank you for showing that similar scenarios can result in different feelings in regards of the birth.

αуℓα said...

thank you for sharing this story! i hope angela feels as empowered as she acted. it's so hard when things don't go as planned. "surrender" is not an easy thing to do. kudos to you as a doula and angela as a mama for patiently working things out as best you could. :]


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