Of Heroes and Healers

This post is for all of my doula sisters out there, but one in particular. I hope this reaches your heart and you hear my words in love, dear doula-sister.

We work with women. And every woman carries stories that have already been written, as well as stories that have yet to be written. As guardians of women's birthing times, we are allowed the honor of attending this most sacred time - when her-story is engraved upon the woman's heart.

We need be be cautious with the care we give them for that very reason. We are called to be healers and nurturers.. not heroes and warriors. The warrior is the woman. The heroine is the woman. We are the space keepers, the lovers, the honorers, the guides. We are the cupbearers of the court, not the quill and ink of the story. 

We cannot forget what a doula is: a servant, guide, healer, and friend.

We are not called to 'save' any woman from her birth journey, her provider, or her place of birth. We are not called on to be the one who swoops in and saves the day. A woman should look back on her birthing time and see her doula as a loving comfort, a font of knowledge, and a steady hand of care and assurance. She should  never see her doula as the knight in shining armor, the one who rescued her from the challenges that confronted her during her journey, or the torchbearer of her birthing time.

Yes, we can fight along side of this warrior as she slays her dragons, we can even play Merlin to her Queen Aurthur, but we don't replace her power with our own, we don't lead her conquest for her, and we don't save her from her journey.

To do this would be to strip her of her power, her birthing right, her pomp and sacredness. To do this would mean mapping her journey for her, rather than allow her the grace to claim her own land and her own path.

Do you see yourself as a hero or a healer? I hope you see yourself as the latter.

Hero - the chief character of a story admired for courage or noble qualities, typically identified with good qualities
Save - rescue (someone or something) from harm or danger. To spare.
Heal - Cause (a wound, injury, or person) to become sound or healthy again:
Healer - a restorer and repairer.
Guardian - A defender, protector, or keeper.
cupbearer - one of high esteem in the court, trusted servant

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