Mirrors

I am 5
I look in the mirror and
I am beautiful
Rounded face
and dimpled cheeks
soft and full
a princess
whirl and twirl
for daddy
braids and curls
from mommy
Daddy calls me princess
Mommy calls me gorgeous

I am 7
I look in the mirror and
I see what I want, not what I am
I hate my hair
I want to look like Susie
I fall and rip my jeans
and momma gets mad
Tomboy, says daddy
with no adoration
gangly and clumsy
Daddy is too busy for spinning
and momma misses dinner

I am 14
I look in the mirror and
I am ugly
Braces, pimples
buttons, not breasts
I have curves
in all the wrong places
Commercials say
tuck this, paint that
Mediocre
Dad doesn't hug me
Mom gives me diet books

I am 17
My boyfriend is my mirror
He says I am beautiful
when I let him touch me
My friend's are my mirror
They say I am beautiful
When I deprive myself
Society is my mirror
and it says I am beautiful
If I pluck, puke, and show skin
The mirror on my wall
betrays me
I am lost

I am 24
I have ditched the mirror
I am awkwardly searching
My father is distant
My mother is critical
my belly swells with new life
But I am ok
My friends have issues
But they are not mine
I grow, I change
I learn to love myself

I am 30
I am my own mirror
pleasantly curvy
in all places
consciously living
comfortable in my own skin
tying my daughter's hair
in pigtails
and watching my partner
twirl and whirl with her
We eat, we breathe, we live
and I am beautiful

I am 40
My daughter is my mirror
She is confident
and she is healthy
We learn together
we laugh together
she knows she is lovely
dad holds her tight
and I learn to let her go
she is beautiful


I am 50
The world is my mirror
my friends are few
but precious
my parents are flawed
but forgiven
my partner is lined
but lovely
my happiness is in
what I do, who I am
And I am balanced

I am 65
My body is my mirror
I have lines on my eyes
from smiling
I have sun spots
from adventuring
I have wiry hair
from sleeping in
I have sagging breasts
and silver lines
from bringing forth life
I am beautiful to my partner
I am life, personified