3.22.2009

Letting Go

I have been letting go of a lot lately...

My opinion on how important 4 walls are

My right to be home with the children and take care of the home

My perceptions on how my day in and day out would be


I have been letting go of a lot lately.

I now work 8-8, Monday through Friday, and most Saturdays for, at least, a short time of the day.

My husband, who has a brilliant business mind, is home with the children as, although he is over qualified for every position he applies for, he always seems to be passed up for the younger, childless hopeful, or the one who spent 1 extra year at University than he did, regardless of their work history.

I, no we, WE have been letting go of a lot lately... or secure income, a place, a space of our own... And we are joined by many people around the United States who have had a bad month, season, or year.

And I realize that we are all laboring women... working hard to make something new out of a laborious situation. To bring something fresh and slippery and delightful out of our every moment of every day.

In transition, we find ourselves wishing we could be done... that our carefully constructed paper houses of security could somehow manifest themselves again and it would all just go away... for a moment.

But we also know, some more primal and pouting part of us, that we can't just be done... not until we push through it... not until we let go.

And so, we let go.

We let go of our securities

Our positions

Our roles and biased views on traditional families

And I pray, how I pray, that, at the end of this transition, we will hold something gloriously wiggly, wet, fresh, and new - something completely earth shattering and peaceful in the same breath - something that can tell our family that this has all been worth it.

A new life.

8 comments:

kris said...

Beautiful post Nicole. We luv you and are praying for you! Here's hoping this transition brings the newness that you're yearning for and happens sooner rather than latter.

Natalie said...

I know I'm a stranger to you, but I always appreciate your posts, especially this one. The analogy is right on, and I pray for your strength and patience as you continue to labor as a family.

Susana said...

Nicole, I am cheering for you! We made some major changes and let go of a lot a few years ago. We knew we had to do some drastic things in order to improve our situation.

We moved across country w/ our 6 children (now have 7), moved into a cabin with no running water and limited electricity for eight months, then found and bought an old farmhouse. We worked on it a bit before moving in. So our lives and house are a work in progress.

We are doing things different to save money and get out of the rat race... making all our bread, tortillas, growing food, studying solar and wind, etc...

My point, there is sooo much that can be let go of and we can find happiness, adventure and make amazing memories.

All our lives are different, but you can make it!

Blessings,
Susana

Mama K said...

I like your analogy, and I can identify with the struggle. We are making changes, too, selling off a few acres of what i thought would always be ours and someday go to the children; letting go of how we thought things would be; ceasing to use credit (this will be the lifesaver here); Still watching to see what other changes will need to be made, and hoping we don't have to sell the house. I love living here, but changes come whether we are ready or not.

This post really encourages me, because, as a "laboring woman", I know we can do it and will. Thanks for the uplifting post - a helpful reminder.

deliciousmelissa said...

Beautiful. Just beautiful. Thank you for saying what I can only think round and round in my head.

Yes.

emily said...

hey nicole,
i feel for you and your family. derek and i are facing a similar situation. he was laid off in feb. just wanted to let you know i miss you. God is faithful, i hold on to that a lot now. he will provide and he will show all of us what our purposes are. keep me updated.

Amy said...

That was beautiful, thank you for the reminder and the encouragement!

Tameryn said...

this is a beautiful post. We are letting go all over the world... As they say, nothing worth doing is easy. :-)

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