Bellies and Babies

Dear Sister

2012-01-30T09:20:00.000-06:00

Dear ~~Doctor~~, ~~Midwife~~, ~~Mother~~, Sister, ~~Husband~~, ~~Childbirth Care Provider~~,

These letters are a compilation of letters that have been shared with me from some of my clients' journals. I ask many of the women I work with to start writing... forgiveness letters, truth letters, anger letters, secret letters... healing letters that allow them to be honest about what they are holding in their hearts.

Some of these letters make it into the hands of their intended recipients... sometimes not...

Dear Sister,

It was never about you. I know that sounds mean, but I don't know how else to say it. It was never about you. It has always been about me. This was my pregnancy, my birth plans, and my baby.

I never asked for your advice, and I never gave you any of mine. With Ella's birth, I found that I needed healing. My cesarean was emotionally and physically traumatic. Do you even remember my months in counseling, the family being on watch to make sure I didn't hurt Ella or myself and my deeper depression after I found I couldn't nurse anymore?

Maybe you thought you were trying to help me when you told me to just schedule a cesarean. Maybe you thought it was being supportive and keeping me from dwelling on how baby got here. Perhaps you were only trying to help save me from disappointment when you kept harping on me about the ease of a cesarean.

But I wanted more!

When I found out I was pregnant with Roscoe, I wanted a healing birth. When I told the family about my plans for a VBAC, they were all. so. negative.... and you included. I needed someone to tell me I could do it. But everyone said

Remember what you went through before? Just schedule a cesarean!

Come on. Your my sister. But it doesn't mean we want the same things. You were happy with your scheduled cesarean for both of your babies. You were happy with formula feeding and day care scheduling.. but I wanted to birth, I wanted to nurse, and I wanted to stay home and raise my children my way. I loved and supported you through your choices, whether or not I agreed with them, why didn't you do the same for me?

And then, at my baby shower and during girl's nights' out... when you found out you couldn't convince me to go under the knife again, you started planting the fear; in front of everyone:

"It's so dangerous!"
"What if you BURST your uterus wide open?!"
"You're being selfish to risk the life of your child for an experience!"

Did you ever even read any of the studies and material I gave you? I don't think you did, otherwise you would know that your opinion was only that, opinion. Otherwise, you would have known that this was very much my choice - and a safe one at that.

And then, after Roscoe was born (born MY way) you never congratulated me, never apologized. In fact, the only thing I remember when you held him for the first time is what you said to him:

"Aw, poor baby! Look at that cone head! If your mama had listened to me you would have this pretty little perfect round head."

I was so hurt. Hurt at the insult to my son and hurt at the insult to my body and my achievement. MY moment.

And finally, breastfeeding. Yes, I said breastfeeding. You hate the idea of, as you put it so kindly in front of our friends, the "nasty nipple stretching, boob sagging" event of letting my little one "suck on [your] tits in public". You said it was like watching someone have sex... or go the bathroom... you said that knowing your little nephew you was eating my bodily fluids grossed you out and made you afraid to hold him for fear he would spit up on you.

And I won't even start on your whole "my sister is going to turn into one of those boring housewives with nothing to talk about but her kids".

What does all this mean? It means I think you are being selfish. It means that I am done being your whipping post for all of your opinionated lashings. Its fine to have your own opinion, but I am going to start giving you mine.
Formula feeding is selfish. Especially without a good reason for it. Breastfeeding doesn't change my boobs, the hormones of pregnancy do. Breastmilk is the best food for my baby, and yours! You are giving your baby less than the best simply because of your own sexual hang ups
Vaginal birth was the best thing for my baby and myself. Physically and emotionally, we are both so much more healthy for it. I may have failed, but at least I would have tried... which is more than I can say for you. And I did it! You should be congratulating me and my smart, amazing, powerful body! You not doing it only shows one of two things: either you are jealous or sad because I got something you didn't and you wanted, or you are too insecure to admit when you are wrong.
Being a homemaker is great in my opinion. I can go to the gym whenever I want, make home made healthy meals for my family, and home school them so that they are smarter than the neighbor kids! And, although I might have more to talk about than my kids, I only want to talk about my kids - because I am around them enough to know how very awesome they are. I will be there for their first step, first tooth, first bruise, first everything. And I wouldn't miss that for the world.

Guess what? I am going to be very vocal about my opinion, as well as the facts from now on. So, I encourage you to read up on those facts so that you are well equipped to try to keep up with me when we debate in front of our friends and family - since you like to make my business and your opinion so very much a public affair.

P.S. (please see the research and medical studies of interest attached to this letter).

Love,
Your twin sister

Update: This mom never gave her sister the letter. She did, though, do exactly what she said she was going to and began speaking up. Since that time, her sister has stopped the opinionated comments in public. The trade off is that the mom is sad she knows that there are some things that she and her sister can never discuss: parenting choices and birth choices.

Their mutual friends have told her on many occasions that her birthing and parenting styles have encouraged them to consider their options. As a result, she has attended two of their closest friend's births as a photographer and helped one friend to get breastfeeding help through their local LLL. She is regularly asked for help with researching medical studies, pediatricians, and birth options from friends and family. Her sister has not been given these same opportunities.

The Story of a Home Birth

2012-01-28T16:25:00.001-06:00

This is such a beautiful birth story. Be warned, you will need kleenex (or a hanky).

Doula! Film is Coming to Houston

2012-01-27T07:00:00.000-06:00

Doula! is Coming to Houston!!

Brought to you by the South Houston Doula Cooperative

"Doula! The Ultimate Birth Companion" is a new documentary film about birth and postpartum doulas. This 60 minute documentary film follows three birth doulas as they support women before, during and after birth and features actual footage of three doula-supported births.

It is a powerful, highly emotional film that shows doulas in action at the sharp end of life's greatest adventure!Please join us for this free screening.

When: Friday, March 23rd
Where: ACT Building, 2805 Wichita St. Houston, TX

Doors open at 6:30 and the film begins promptly at 7pm.

Afterward, we will have a panel of professionals and parents to discuss the benefits of doulas and their impact on the community.

We will have concessions to purchase and will be holding a silent auction to raise money for women who cannot afford doula services in the Houston area.

A short promo on the film:

Click here to RSVP! We hope to see you there!

Thoughtful Thursday

2012-01-26T08:22:00.000-06:00

"Birth is the sudden opening of a window, through which you look out upon a stupendous prospect. For what has happened? A miracle. You have exchanged nothing for the possibility of everything.” William MacNeile Dixon

Dear Mother

2012-01-25T09:20:00.000-06:00

Dear ~~Doctor~~, ~~Midwife~~, Mother, ~~Sister~~, ~~Husband~~, ~~Childbirth Care Provider~~,

Dear Mother,

Hi mom. I bet you are sitting at your kitchen chair right now wondering what in the world I am writing a letter to you for. Why not an email? Why not a phone call?

Well, my doula gave me a project, that is to write to people who I need to tell something to. So, you, among many people, are getting a letter. She said I could blame her for any hurt feelings, but it was my choice to mail this letter and I am going to own my own choice and feelings in this letter. This is not my doula's fault, it is my feelings and my choice.

I love you mom. You are an awesome mom. When I was little, you taught me so many things: how to be strong, how to not be afraid of trying something just because I was a girl, how to be proud of myself and how to see myself as beautiful when I was always the tomboy and never the prom date.

You helped me get my first job and were there for my first award. You cheered me on from the side lines and stood with me in my wedding when dad couldn't be there. You have always been wonderful to me.

But this, for some reason this has changed things. This 'pregnancy thing' as you like to call it, it has put a wound between us that I don't see being healed before our little one is born.

It started when I told you my (in my eyes) exciting news
"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

That's what you said. I called you right after I shared the news with my husband and that is what you said. I was blubbering with happiness and excitement over your first grandbaby and you asked if I was sure if my baby was a good idea.

Yes, we are still newlyweds, and yes, I am still newer in my career, but it really is none of your business if me and my husband decide to have a baby. We are ecstatic, can't you be? Or at least keep your opinion and shitty comments to yourself?

It continued when we went to our ultrasound appointment
I thought how cool would it be to have grandma there for the ultrasound, after all, you never got to have one and had never seen one. So I invited you. You said you would love to but could I reschedule because you had lunch with a friend planned for that time. Really? I invite you to a huge moment for me and you want me to reschedule for your standing lunch that you always have on the same time and day every week?

I said that to you and you balked 'of course! If you know my schedule so well, you should've known better in the first place'. Long story short, thanks mom, for missing one lunch with your friend so you could see your grandbaby for the first time.

But then, while we were there, we had already told you we weren't finding out the sex, and you waited until I was all jellied up to start the argument. The nurse asked if we wanted to know the sex and we said no. You leaned in and said 'but you can tell the Grandma'. We said no, she couldn't.

You started actually pouting, arguing that how were you going to buy things for 'it' if you didn't know what sex 'it' was, everyone knows the sex of their baby, and how were we going to pick a good name if we didn't know... were we going to just give 'it' some 'spontaneous and weird name' at birth?

The nurse looked so uncomfortable. She gave me a paper towel,said she printed us some pictures, and left. I missed nearly the whole thing because I was arguing with you. Thankfully I have pictures. And even then, you wanted to take them right away and make copies, saying I was so unreliable I might not get it done in a reasonable amount of time and you had to have something to show for the time you spent there with us.

And finally, the birth
Yes, I am going to give birth at a birth center. No, I don't need an epidural. Yes, I know the risks, and I also know the benefits. No, I probably won't need a cesarean like you did. Yes, I will probably deliver in water. And yes, with a midwife and a doula. No, my doula would not have taken your place, if anything, she would have made it easier on you, either helping you to help me or simply enjoy the experience.

I say would have mom, because you are not invited to the birth.

I am not doing this to be mean, but because your recent actions has shown me that there is something going on that we can't seem to fix, or even talk about, right now. If we can't fix it before the birth (which is only about a month away) I can't have that drama or that 'something' in the room while I am trying to give birth to my baby.

You can say you will behave, but I can't risk it. I can't risk it because, if you don't behave, you will ruin my birth... and I can't get that experience back, I can't redo it. I can't chance your nervous, untrusting attitude of my pregnancy and birthing choices won't influence everything. I can't have you pacing, and crying, and pouting, and making rude comments to everyone. I can't have you trying to change my opinion, or supersede my choices. And I can't let this be about you. Because it is about me, the mother, and my baby.

I love you. I don't hate you. I am not punishing you. But, ever since you found out your little girl was going to become a mom herself, you seem to have forgotten how independent, competent, smart, educated, self-sufficient, powerful, proud, well-adjusted, and sound you raised me to be!

I'm not a child that needs parenting, I am a woman who wanted her friend, who happens to be her mother, to share in a special moment with her. But, for whatever reason, you have become the parent you never were or ever wanted to be when I was growing up: manipulative, conniving, coercive, pouting, flaunting, and dramatic.

Where did my friend go? I don't know, but I need that person in the birthing room with me, not whatever this is.

I can't wait to see you fall in love with your grand-baby, we have you on the doula's list to call when I am near the end of labor. That way, you can get to the birth center before anyone else does and see our baby. I have the outfit you picked out for the first outfit, and we will be taking lots of pictures so you can see them if you ever want to. We might even video tape it, although I joke I don't ever want to see it.

I would love to go to lunch sometime this week and talk. I really want to, but I need you to know all of this and choose to come to lunch with me. If you choose to go to lunch with me, please know that you are showing me that you acknowledge my feelings and want to talk about this. It won't guarantee you a place at my birth, but your willingness will guarantee you a place in my heart and mind of respect and gratitude.

Sincerely always,
Your Daughter, who is about to become a Mother

Update: mom did end up giving this letter to her mom. Her mom declined the invitation to go to lunch. Her mom was not at the birth and missed the first few days of her grandbaby's life. She did call many days afterward to come see the baby. She also did end up asking to see the birth video many months after the birth, itself. Mom and mother are still working to define boundaries and roles. Mom describes it as a work in progress.

Spinning Babies in Houston

2012-01-24T06:30:00.000-06:00

Houston's BIRTH is hosting Gail for an especially fun Spinning Babies Event!

We're meeting at the Spaghetti Warehouse for an all-day Spinning Babies Workshop for the birth professionals --and a great lunch provided by these creative and birth-friendly restaurant owners. ...And that's not all!

From 6:30-9, we open the doors and floors for Belly Mapping and Painting for 3rd trimester expectant mothers and a birth partner. $30 each Pregnant woman and her companion or Provider of Pregnancy or Birth care. Pregnant women learn how to find their own baby's position and get tips on Optimal Fetal Positioning. A Belly Mapping Booklet is included and several women can choose to have a picture of their baby -in their baby's actual position - painted on their bellies with safe, washable face paint (as time provides). Houston area doulas and birth professionals will have tables with literature available. Photographers will be present and taking pictures.

The day's Spinning Babies registrants have the option of attending Friday night's Belly Mapping session -for free! That's right, the registration for Spinning Babies includes this evening with pregnant women and their partners/birth partners so the class has the option to see how Belly Mapping works interactively.

(Others are $30 per pregnant mama and her companion/provider of service/care)Spinning Babies participants receive lunch (the cost is the same with our without lunch).

Vegetarian options exist, but gluten-free is tricky, we'll try to accommodate if you notify us when you register in the instruction box. Supper is on your own, but we have a table at the restaurant for all who'd like to join us for a quick bite before Belly Mapping. Bring a personal throw-rug, yoga mat, big pillow and/or regular pillows for either workshop!

We do things on the floor and there is no carpet here! Click here to register!

Drive-By Birth?

2012-01-23T14:51:00.003-06:00

Well now, this is a first on my YouTube favorites!

Dear Midwife

2012-01-23T09:17:00.002-06:00

Dear ~~Doctor~~, Midwife, ~~Mother~~, ~~Sister~~, ~~Husband~~, ~~Childbirth Care Provider~~,

Dear Midwife,

I hope you don't mind me asking that you take just a moment to read this letter. I wasn't going to write to you, but I was encouraged to do so, so here you are.

I, first, wanted to thank you for helping to bring my beautiful little boy into the world. He has been here for 8 months already and he continues to surprise me with what a little person he is. He is so wonderful! He brings joy to my life at every moment I look at him. For that I will be forever grateful.

But this letter isn't about that, it is about my birth.

I hope you can look at all of this through my eyes, because I am not trying to second-guess you or offend you in any way. I am sharing this with you, hoping that you will take it all in and see if my point of view might help you to reconsider your practices in a new light.

When you came in to my home, during my labor, you told me we had to find out my 'baseline' for how the night would progress. This meant baby heart checks, a cervix check, and blood pressure. I knew this was part of it, but I didn't expect how you went about it.

Paper rustling, texting your husband and daughter, answering a call from another woman who had an appointment later that day... all right in the room with me. Sure, you left my lights off and my candles lit, but that is the only sense of peace I got from you.

You sent my husband to get me some water when he couldn't tell you the last time I had drank something. Again, I get why you sent him to do that, but why did he have to leave me right when you were going to check my cervix? I wanted him with me, but I didn't know how to tell you that.

When you checked me, you were rough. I understand that you need that information, but when I told you I needed you to stop, you only squeezed my knee and said 'just a little longer' and pushed your fingers up in my harder.

We talked so much about our relationship, but, in the heat of labor, you threw my trust and our mutual respect right out the window for a cervix check.

And then, after you were done, you patted my knee and said I was 'only a 3, we have a long day ahead of us'. Then you sighed, pulled out your chart, wrote something, and said you had to make a phone call, leaving me lying on my couch and feeling deflated.

I was so proud of all the work I had done before we called you, I felt proud of my labor pattern and certain of the time we said we were ready to have you come be with us. And now I felt disfunctional, unproductive, and guilty for calling you too soon.

Thankfully, my labor started to get earnest again when you left for lunch. When you came back afterward, I declined your request for another check. You got this pained look on your face like I had offended you, but I couldn't let it happen again and didn't have the time to tell you why I was saying no.

So, there is my explanation. I'm sorry I offended you and talked to you sharply, but I had been hurt by you physically and emotionally - and that was where I was coming from.

When I started pushing, I was really comfortable in the position I was in. But you told me to get up on hands and knees. I said I would rather not because I was comfortable where I was and you said 'you don't want to birth like women in the hospital do, let's get you up!'.

I felt chastised and insignificant. On the one hand, I was comfortable where I was, but you were right, on the other hand, I was not in the hospital. I was second guessing myself... so I let you grab my leg and arm and hoist me up on to my hands and knees.

I didn't like it though, I couldn't see my baby be born. I said I wanted to see, and you sent my husband to get the mirror. He couldn't get it positioned right, though, and even though I kept telling you both that, he couldn't get it right and you couldn't be bothered to help him.

I missed seeing the birth of my baby because I was on all fours.

When he was born, I wanted to just look at him. He wanted to look at me... but you grabbed a hat and shoved it down over his eyes, grabbed my breast, and immediately started aggressively trying to shove it into his mouth.

He wasn't interested and I told you that I didn't think he was. You said he was, and I had missed his earlier cue of his tongue sticking out. We 'worked on breastfeeding' until my placenta came out, and then 'worked on it' some more. He didn't end up nursing for an hour and a half after birth. I could have been spending that time loving on him and admiring him instead of working on forcing him to eat.

So, in a recap, by the end of my labor, I felt guilted for standing up for my own needs, second guessed my own intuition, regretted giving up my power to you, missed the birth of my own child, felt like my body and my knowledge were inadequate, and then was told that I didn't know my own child's needs more than another woman did.

I felt like a failure.

I love the fact I had a home birth and a midwife, considering how much more I would have regretted and been hurt had I been in the hospital. But it doesn't change that I was still hurt and have regrets.

Don't worry, you haven't lost a client, in fact, the closing of this letter is to let you know that we are pregnant again. And yes, we want you to be our midwife again. But, this time I have certain requests.

I want you to know I will be doing my own cervix checks, I would like you to teach me how to do it. I want to catch my own baby. This means I can't be on all fours. I will probably squat or be on my side, but I might also like to be in the position I was before and that is ok with me, please respect that.

In labor, I don't want Jon to leave me. We made this baby and it is his experience as much as mine. If I need water, we go together or you can get it. If I need nourishment, we go together or you can get it. And finally, when this baby is born, let us breastfeed without time limits, please. When this baby shows interest, even if I miss the first cues, let us figure it out. If I need help, I know you are very knowledgeable and I know I can ask for it.

Thank you so much for having an open heart and mind. Thank you for not being offended. Thank you for being my midwife and someone I respect and love enough that I feel I can be honest with about my feelings.

Your friend,
Homebirth mom

vAgain?

2012-01-19T12:40:00.000-06:00

Shall we call this one "Of Jewels and Vajay-Jays Part 2"...

or simply Vajeathering?

Thoughtful Thursday

2012-01-19T08:19:00.000-06:00

"Biologically, you are designed to receive great pleasure from your body not only during lovemaking and intercourse, but in birth and breastfeeding, too....Birth offers sexual pleasure on a continuum from pleasant sensations (felt while your uterus rhythmically contracts in early labor if you're relaxed and feeling secure) to an intense birth climax (yes, just like an orgasm) as your baby slithers into the world of your waiting arms." - Diana Korte and Roberta Scaer

Dear Doctor

2012-01-18T07:58:00.002-06:00

Dear Doctor, ~~Midwife~~, ~~Mother~~, ~~Sister~~, ~~Husband~~, ~~Childbirth Care Provider~~,

Dear Doctor,

I came into your office today. 9:30 am, just like the little card that was mailed to me a month ago said. I was ecstatic when I came in - I have wanted and hoped for this baby since I was a little girl dreaming of being a mommy someday.

The card said 'arrive 5 minutes early for your paperwork'. I got there 10 minutes early. I was so excited, I felt like my face was going to split from excitement. The woman at the desk, perhaps she was having a bad day, but she really didn't need to ignore me like that, or glare at me like that when I couldn't find my insurance card right away... or make me feel chided just because I wanted to share why I was there.

I filled out my paperwork, returned it to the counter, and waited... and waited... and waited. I finally got back to the room 45 minutes after my appointment time. The nurse was nice, but didn't look me in the eyes. She gave me a paper towel and told me to put it on. 'Put it on'? How can you put a paper towel on? Why would I be sitting around in a paper towel anyway? I asked why and she just smiled like she pitied my naivete and said, 'the doctor will be in to see you in a moment'.

I waited, and waited, and waited some more... 20 minutes after that, I finally put my coat on because I was cold, and then you walked in. You chided me for keeping my bra on under the paper towel and made me feel silly before we even got introduced. I have to tell you, it is more than a little intimidating that, on a first meeting, I meet you disrobed and in a paper towel and you meet me in business attire.

Talk about defining expected roles.

Then you gave me your name, opened my file, and read out of it for the rest of the prenatal. Yes, I was pregnant. Yes, I was young. Yes, I wanted 'it'. You recommended considering my options, like me being pregnant and young made me more apt to not want... 'it'.

I said I had questions. You said to make an appointment to talk with the nurse about them. I said I wanted to know your feelings about some pregnancy and birth options. You told me to stop reading my books and, instead, to read your office's packet of information my nurse would give me on my way out.

I was stirruped, felt up, felt around, made greasy, given another paper towel to wipe off with, and out the door you went before I had even put my feet back down out of the stirrups.

I dressed, slower and less enthusiastic this time, and put my purse in my lap. I felt shell-shocked. I waited over an hour for 10 minutes of groping, beratement, and belittlement. I was so excited about this first step toward becoming a parent... and now I just felt like a naked child with their legs spread wide and a goopy bottom who was scolded to be seen and not heard.

I left with my 5 pages of information, which included information on pregnancy control, when I should expect to come back throughout my pregnancy, what constitutes a pregnancy emergency, and a prescription. Nothing about me. Nothing about my wonder, my joy, my baby! Just your expectations of me.

I understand that this is your livelihood, your business, and that you see many women just like me every day.

But this is my life-lihood, this is my future, and I am an individual, not an appointment.

Sincerely,

Recommended to Another Practice of Mother-centered Provider

How to Breastfeed

2012-01-16T16:46:00.000-06:00

I was surfing along the other day and I came across this gem. It's about time someone gets it right!

Two days ago thousands of mothers flocked to Targets across the nation like they do every day but this time, with breasts full & nipples poised to launch a milk attack against the retail giant. The demonstration or “nurse-in” was in response to a lactating female being asked to feed her child in a changing room, away from public view, rather than in a corner of the store days earlier. Upon hearing this news, leaking women from all over the United States descended upon their local Tar-zhays with babies and proceeded to feed them from their private parts as a way of saying “We’re here, you can leer, get used to it”

What breastfeeding mothers don’t seem to realize is that it is entirely inappropriate to expose upstanding citizens to teat nourishment in a public setting. We’re thrilled that you’ve chosen to feed your child the way nature intended but do we have to see it? I mean, we don’t pee in public (unless we’re drunk) and would prefer that you would show us the same courtesy.

Here are a few tips that mothers should & need to adopt to help the rest of us feel comfortable.

1) Use a cover. Every time. There are many fancy ones on the market. Damask. Lace-trimmed. Or how about a swaddling cloth (if it’s good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for you kid)? Statistics show that human beings love being in confined spaces. Babies are on their way to becoming full humans so this applies to them as well. I personally eat many of my meals under a loosely draped fitted sheet in my bedroom and find it quite enjoyable. The importance of air circulation has been exaggerated by democrats and Al Gore; do not be fooled. When your baby’s mouth is fully affixed to your udder leaving only two little nostrils to breathe, why wouldn’t she love breathing in repeat Co2?

During the summer months, place two little straws in your baby’s nose scuba-style so that cool air can be retrieved without making us all barf from the sight of your boob flesh...

To read the rest, see here!

Thoughtful Thursday

2012-01-12T08:10:00.005-06:00

"All I have to do is
move my mind into a place of peace
Move my body into a place of openness
and Move my heart into a place of acceptance
My womb will do the rest..." - Mama, Friend, and Client

Beaus and Babes

2012-01-11T10:49:00.004-06:00

I love a man who wears a baby. Yep, I said it, it's hot!

Blame it on hormones if you want to, perhaps it is the combination of masculine testosterone and the maternal pull of a babies plump face that inclines me to gaze at a baby-wearing man as one would who is desiring to perpetuate the procreation of our species... but, again, it's hot!

Tell me that doesn't melt your girly insides!

Perhaps it is just the opposite attraction of both the brutish and the delicate. I love watching a masculine, rough man, lovingly and tenderly cradle a bub to his chest.

Whether he is walking around the big city.

Hanging with his heir around the house...

http://adventuresofthespencers.blogspot.com/

Or cooking...

Walking in the park...

http://www.needmoreacres.com/

Showing off mad slingin' skills to the camera...

http://www.facebook.com/ThingaMaSling w/ permission from Jenni Allan

Around the town...

http://www.needmoreacres.com/

Even if he is gaming while he does it!

http://www.betweenthekids.com/

In warm weather....

Mario Treadway (Alanis Morisettes husband)

Or cold...

Famous....

Orlando Bloom

Or not...

Starting young...

Or a veteran daddy...

http://www.prettyhandygirl.com/

I love men wearing their babies!

So let's give these daddies a hand; they understand their baby's needs to be loved, snuggled, hugged, warmed, and just plain worn!

It's All In The Method

2012-01-09T11:13:00.000-06:00

Throughout the history of mankind, women have passed on wisdom and experience from generation to generation... the older and/or more experienced women teaching the younger and/or less experienced through story, words of encouragement, apprenticeship, and being present at birth or inviting the younger generation to view birth as it unfolds.

We have lost that woman-to-woman wisdom and candid form of education in our modern day, busy, non-communal, nucleic lives. Thus, the birth of childbirth classes. That's right, childbirth classes are a new invention, but the wisdom that independent childbirth classes transfer and convey is not.

I am often asked about the differences between the different childbirth education methods. There are 5 major methods of childbirth education, although there are many more available. I will take you through each one, the history of each, and my personal experience with each.

HypnoBIRTHING is: Self-hypnosis by 'distraction' (focusing away) for, what you can hope is, a pain-free birth. They teach the physical make-up of labor and birth, and do teach a lot on the postpartum period as well. Some find the birth affirmations as very helpful and relaxing, giving them the ability to achieve a deep state of relaxation during labor and birth. Others find the affirmations a little to 'hippie' and the wording distracting. More 'new age' than Hypnobabies. Started by Marie Mongan, a professional hypnotherapist. I have a few experiences with Hypnobirthing. I am not sure how much is a reflection of the method vs a reflection of the parent's commitment to practicing, so take it with a grain of salt but I found this method to be not as successful in it's goal as Hypnobabies. (check out their website HERE)

HypnoBABIES is: Again, using self-hypnosis techniques for, what you can hope is, a pain-free birth. Between the two hypno's, this one seems to have more success, whether it is from method teachings or parent's commitment, I am not sure. This method teaches lots of physiology of pregnancy, labor, and birth... not as much postpartum as hypnobirthing, but it is still a complete and comprehensive childbirth class that balances intuition, discipline, and mother-centeredness very well. Created based on master hypnotist Gerald Klein's teachings for introverted self-hypnosis (focusing IN rather than AWAY). Started by Kerry Tuschhoff, a previous Bradley student/teacher. Medical-grade hypnoanesthesia. (check out their website HERE)

Bradley Method is: A method started by the Dr. Robert Bradley, a contemporary of Dr. Lamaze. He created the method with the understanding that, to stay healthy and low risk, diet and exercise was necessary. The method teaches diet, exercise, A&P of pregnancy, labor and birth, the signposts of labor mapping, and relaxation techniques. These are intended to alleviate unnecessary pain, although proponents of Bradley don't have a goal of a painless birth, only a comfortable one. The focus of the method is breaking pain/tension cycle by negating fear through education/understanding, teaching S/Os how to help a laboring woman, and positive consumerism... as well as lots of postpartum and b/f education. (check out their website HERE)

Birthing From Within is: more of a free-method - taught through the bias of whatever teacher you happen to work with. They teach mainly through dialogues and exercises, not much 'formal education'. Lots of hands on and working through fear/tension cycle. Acceptance and embracing of birth process is a central focus. Lots of creative (drawing, painting, writing) exercises designed to help you through this. They teach breath awareness, mindfulness, self-hypnosis, and visualizations while also being open to the use of drugs and epidurals. Teach active birthing (moving, yelling, accepting pain, etc...) and good nutrition. Very loose in terms of a 'method' of natural birth. They teach from the POV that the only thing a woman needs to be able to achieve the birth she wants is dedication and trust... not an actual 'relaxation method'. Some consider it New Age or hippie - but it gleans from Native American practices oftentimes. I find it a great method for women working through birth/sexual trauma. Founded by Pam England. (check out their website HERE)

Lamaze is: Different from it's inception. Dr. Ferdinand Lamaze's original design was incorporating nutrition, exercise, and psychoprophylaxis to counteract acute pain in labor and birth. Current Lamaze teachings focus less on the altered breathing patterns of the original Lamaze, and instead focus on healthy birth practices. Lamaze classes are often the 'mainstream' childbirth class taught in many hospital settings (which focus primarily on hospital policy and procedures), although it does not reflect the education that you would find if you were to take an independent (non-hospital affiliated) Lamaze class. Current independent classes teach anatomy, exercises, positions for birth, and a wide range of relaxation techniques. (check out their website HERE)

All of these courses are considered complete and comprehensive - meaning that they cover pregnancy, labor, birth, postpartum, and baby care. All can be found as independent childbirth classes (meaning that they are not affiliated with a hospital).

Beyond these childbirth methods, there are many many independent childbirth classes that are not taught as a 'method'. This means that the information within the class will be greatly influenced by the individual teaching it. These include:

Doula-formulated childbirth classes - these will vary greatly by doula, philosophy, scope of practice their certifying organization allows, their experience, and their 'specialty' (any type of birthing situation or circumstance that they specialize in or have a great amount of experience in). These are great because of the amount of experience doulas have attending birth, unlike the average childbirth educator 'only'.
ICEA - a neat concept, providing educators with the education and tools necessary to design their own class. Usually covers diet, exercise, A&P, relaxation techniques, positions for labor and birth, medications, interventions, breastfeeding, and postpartum options.
CBI - The same as ICEA, but, additionally, they train their educators in dynamic teaching skills.
CAPPA - much of the same as ICEA and CBI, with an additional focus on supporting young families through their HUG Your Baby program.
Birthworks - from their website "each woman finds her own way through birth and labors in her own unique way. Our childbirth classes and doula services honor each woman’s wholeness and individuality and encourage integration of the mind, body, and spirit through the human values of truth, right action, peace, love, and nonviolence. "
And many more...

Benefits to an independent childbirth course:

you will not be limited in your education to what the hospital wants you to adhere to (i.e. policy and procedure)
you will learn a variety of coping techniques that have a focus on natural, active, and autonomous
you will learn about nutrition and exercise, staying healthy and low-risk for your pregnancy. Something that hospitals rarely do.
you will learn about parenting options and how to do them (i.e. baby wearing, cloth diapering, alternative vaccination schedules, intact penis care for the newborn male, breastfeeding, and more)
you have the possibility/opportunity of having your course tailored for you, individually, and your needs

A limitation of independent childbirth classes is that you need to be sure that you agree with the educators philosophies and ideals, as it often colors the course/classes. Interviewing a childbirth educator is very important when you choose to take an independent childbirth course. For more information on how to interview a childbirth educator, see here. And to see if your childbirth class is mother and baby-friendly, see here.

Ben Dover reviews the Moon Cup

2012-01-05T09:00:00.000-06:00

OK, I am a fan of more Eco-conscious solutions to our monthly visitor, don't get me wrong, this is purely for entertainment purposes:

"So one of the many new devices I purchased for this trip was a Diva "Moon Cup". Since feminine hygine supplies would be hard to come by and waste-producing, I opted instead to buy a thing like a Barbie Deluxe Toilet Plunger, and stuff it up my hooha.

The theory is that the cup catches your pan drippings, and you empty it a couple times a day, washing it with hippy soap, and reinserting. It presupposes you are enough of an Earth Mother to be OK not only with your monthly outpourings, but also with generally fossicking around in your flaps. Now, I am no stranger to gore. Nor am I squeamish about my delicate rose of delight, except that I have no such illusions about it and indeed am always reminded of nothing so much as stuffing an oddly-warm raw turkey. So, when after several weeks of teasing, the Period Fairy threatening to postpone the Communist Invasion until I was actually getting on the plane (I was about ready to scream and cry at some hapless unwary male just as a sacrifice to appease her) at last I greeted the rosy-fingered dawn and set about embarking on my new life as a eco-friendly Diva.

The Moon Cup comes in two sizes; Size A, for youthful nymphs under 30 who have never given birth and have silken tresses and tinkling laughs and are all size 0, and size B, for Big Ol' Bitches like m'self, who have either spawned, or are so old (ie over 30) that they might as well have been poppin' them out like Duggar Donuts, because their sugar walls are now echoing corridors full of cobwebs and slackness. Of course the packaging phrases it more nicely, but I was miffed to see that despite having never replicated, I was still doomed to the Big Gulp size because of my age alone.

So, chalice in hand, fingers washed, and let's fold that thing like a taco (no, not THAT thing, the other thing!) and cram it up where only one man has gone before and even then not for a damn long time even when he WAS still around. I'm sure I imagined the rusty creaking sounds as I tried to shove something which was larger than anything previous (with the exception of various medical speculums which, I believe, were constructed by the same person who designed the Montlake Drawbridge)into the Gaping Maw.

Now, you're supposed to roll the cup up, smuggle it past the border, let it expand, then turn it clockwise (or counter clockwise, or then one way and another, stopping when you hear the click, or something...) anyway, you're supposed to be able to turn this thing like a dial in there."If the cup does not turn easily, you did it wrong" Oh, of course, I'll just grasp hold of a thing about the size, shape, and slipperyness of the pointy end of a peeled hard-boiled egg, which is now buried in the meaty folds of my innermost femininity, which, I may add, are well-sluiced with the special effects from a Quentin Tarantino film, and spin that sucker like a dredel..."

To read the rest of this hilarious review, see here.

Thoughtful Thursday

2012-01-05T08:08:00.000-06:00

“The intrinsic intelligence of women’s bodies can be sabotaged when they’re put into clinical settings, surrounded by strangers, and attached to machines that limit their freedom to move. They then risk falling victim to the powerful forces of fear, loneliness, doubt , and distrust, all of which increase pain. Their hopes for a normal birth disappear as quickly as the fluid in an IV bottle.” - Peggy Vincent

Breastfeeding Punks and Other Misnomers

2012-01-04T11:23:00.000-06:00

Breastfeeding Punks, Nipple Nazis, Breastapo, Exhibitionists... I've been called worse!

At a rest stop on Interstate 95 recently, I made quite a scene. No, I didn't streak naked from the car to the Cinnabon line. I tried to feed my 5-month-old baby. Mind you, I picked the quietest spot facing the corner and slung my trusty nursing cover — a cloth designed to help mothers discreetly nurse in public — over my child. Despite being ravenously hungry, baby swatted angrily at the cover, tearing it off his head each time I tried to replace it, fists punching the air, grabbing at my shirt collar. It was like wrestling a wild bobcat in a mail sack. Mental note: Baby's not down with the cover anymore.

Seen from the highway not a mile away: a Hooters restaurant. One of the 455 franchise locations in the USA. This juxtaposition was not lost upon me. In a country where Hugh Hefner gets his own reality show and evening gowns require double-sided tape to hover just so, "breast is best."

Intolerance hurts society... Except when it comes to breastfeeding in public, that is. Just ask Natalie Hegedus, who said she was humiliated in a Michigan district court room last month for discreetly breastfeeding her sick infant at the back of the courtroom. Michigan is one of five states without laws that specifically allow women to breastfeed in public. After Judge Robert Hentchel verbally reprimanded her, Hegedus left the courtroom in tears. Intolerant attitudes like this contribute to our relatively low breastfeeding rates, and it's not just women and babies who suffer. - America, get over breastfeeding hang-ups

Breastfeeding punks? Sort of, kind of, not really. a punk is a member of a rebellious counterculture group. In some sorts of the word, it could describe those of us who either support breastfeeding in public or currently are breastfeeding in public.

But the thing is, only in the U.S. is public breastfeeding considered 'counterculture'... and that is why we are doing it... to change that public perception of breastfeeding - and make public breastfeeding more commonplace and accepted.

Nipple Nazis? (aka Breastapo) Not even close. Even if you separate the fact that we are not focusing on our nipples, but the nourishment that our breasts provide. And even if you separate Nazism as a literal definition (a form of socialism featuring racism and expansionism and obedience to a strong leader.) to the more common implied definition (fascism, a political philosophy or movement that exalts nation and often race above the individual and that stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation, and forcible suppression of opposition)... it still doesn't fit.

Exhibitionists? Hardly! I can tell you that the majority of breastfeeding women have no desire to display their bosoms to the public any more than is necessary to nourish their child. And there are very few times you will see more than the tops of the breasts (as you would see in a v-neck sweater), unless you are really trying to see more. To give you a few examples, let's take a look at some famous nursing moms:

Maggie Gyllenhaal

Angelina Jolie

Salma Hayek

Gwen Stefani

Miranda Kerr

Jerry Hall, via Annie Liebowitz

On the other hand, I can give you example after example of media, Hollywood, and marketing showing off the female breasts in much more detail and much more sexualized than breastfeeding ever does/is.Just for matter of fair comparison, let's use the same celebrities in marketing photoshoots:

Jerry Hall

Angelina Jolie

Salma Hayek

Miranda Kerr

Maggie Gyllenhaal

Gwen Stefani

So, call me a breastfeeding Punk, a Nipple Nazi, or an Exhibitionist, if you want, but I contend that I am just a normal-feeding advocate that fails to see how the public can get so worked up over breastfeeding but not bat an eye at our media and marketing attempts to over-sexualize the female body and desensitize the public to it. Consider this great quote:

"If breastfeeding is sexual, than a bottle is a dildo!"

And just for some fun...

And there you have it, breastfeeding is normal, it is natural, it is beautiful, and it is maternal. And that, my friends, is why women across the U.S. are fed up (no pun intended) with the prudish and contradictory behavior of our culture.

For Additional Reading on recent Nurse-Ins:
Houston Breastfeeding Flash Mob
National Demonstration
Did the Nurse In Change Perceptions of Public Breastfeeding?
Michigan Breastfeeding Flash Mob Dispersed
Women's Only Gym Asks Mother To Move

Of Jewels and VaJay-Jays

2012-01-03T22:24:00.001-06:00

So, a local doula walks into a chatroom...

No seriously, if you have a vagina and a sense of humor, you will love this post...

Ok, now where was I? Oh yes! A local doula was just talking about a recent experience she had with an OB/Gyn in this area. This is how her story went...

I need to say this because I'm still just flabbergasted. I attended a birth some time ago with an OB who discussed, while this woman was pushing her baby out, how very pleased she would be with his repair work on her bottom. He explained how women have come to him from Madrid and Brazil and New York to have their vaginas "done". I couldn't help it, as I stood there with a look of horror battling with disgust, I just blurted out (in a most un-doula-like moment): "You do designer vaginas?!?"

The nursery nurses in the corner burst into laughter. He looked puzzled for a moment, but when he sorted through the vernacular his visage changed to express the most proud approval and he said with a smile "Yes! I do." That was some time ago. Cut to yesterday. He attended the birth I was at yesterday. Though he did not regale us with further stories of his vaginal reconstruction exploits, he is now proudly wearing embroidery on his doctor's coat: "Ageless Center" (surrounded by a lovely logo) with the words (wait for it..........) COSMETIC GYNECOLOGY (emphasis mine). Your thoughts?

So, that got us around to talking about this story which you may or may not have seen on the web awhile ago...

I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 a.m. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 a.m. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare.

As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable.

I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment. I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.

I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we?" I didn't respond. After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home.

The rest of the day was normal. Some shopping, cleaning, cooking.

After school when my 6-year-old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?" I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it."

Never going back to that doctor. Ever.

So then, we kept talking, like women... and doulas... do, and pretty soon, we began talking about VaJazzling... yep, the process of applying this:

To This:

The results when used PROPERLY (you know, on clothes) would be this:

or this:

or even, when used on skin.. it could be this...

or this:

But VAJazzling? So, like any good researcher, we doulas started looking up how to vajazzle.. and we came up with this:

Blingy don't you think?

And that got us to thinking (and talking) MORE... so, what do you think?

Should we start offering vajazzling to the mamas that we work with during our postpartum visits? It might help to give them a sparkly outlook on those first few weeks home with junior...

Or perhaps we should all vajazzle as DOULAS at a doula workshop... you know, get in touch with our inner crafty feminine (ok, totally channeling Fried Green Tomatoes here)...

Or, even better, we could offer this to the women that we work with right along with their push pedicures.. Can you imagine the notariety a doula would get with the OBs and nurses then?! We would be the talk of the town....

(Envisioning) "ok, now I'm just going to take a peek to see if we can see baby and... WHOA! What's THAT? I... I'm blinded by the bling! Turn off the delivery light! It looks like a disco ball in here!"

Think of it, I can see it now:

HoustonDesignerDoula.com

specializing in helping women feel more than just empowered!

Now, we had a few concerns. I mean, the website states that: ‎

"For some people, vajazzling is just about feeling good while others have significant reasons to go for the bling, which may include coping with a terrible break up"

Whatever happened to just hunkering down with a gallon of Schweddy Balls and a spoon (that's for another post, by the way)

And what about self-respect? I mean, will jewel encrusted vulva actually make you feel better about a failed marriage?

But the most important thing that we should consider before getting vajazzled is this: wouldn't you be more than a little upset that, after waxing and vajazzling, you can't wear your skinny jeans for fear that your swarovski crystals might rub off?!

I don't know, I am kind of liking it... and I also like the term vaJAZZLE!

Yes, you do have to say it with a breathy voice and jazz hands, it only improved the effect! Totally a part of my vernacular now.. whenever something is as cool as a sparkling yoni, I totally am going to say...

"That's just vaJAZZLE!"

Now, I wonder if anyone is going to start Pejazzling?....

Wrapping Up

2011-12-31T17:50:00.002-06:00

As we wind up to close on 2011, I took a look back at the memories I have of the women I attended this year, I considered the friendships I made and the workshops I attended. I learned so much through these interactions and relationships.

So, as a farewell to 2011, I thought I would share a recap of my favorite blog posts (I didn't have a favorite from January):

February
Positions For Birth
Would You Rather
Knitted Noggins
Throughout Time, Throughout The World - Babywearing

Throughout Time, Throughout The World - Childbirth Practices
Throughout Time, Throughout The World - Breastfeeding

March
Throughout Time, Throughout The World - Birth Partners

April
Talk It Out - Pt 1
Talk It Out - Pt 2
Talk It Out - Pt 3

May
Talk It Out - Pt 4
Much Ado About Gratis
The FDA Is Having A Pool Party
A Chance To Make A Change

June
Induction, Encouragement, Eviction

July
Dilation, How To Check Without Checking

August
Fear
Breech Options

Failure To Progress.. Part 1
Failure to Progress... Part 2
September
How Do You Decide
Schism

None in October.. must have been a busy month...

November
Sensationalism and Sleeping Arrangements

And we aren't quite done with December...

So there you have it, my favorites... what are yours? Have a safe and happy New Year's Eve!

Thoughtful Thursday

2011-12-29T08:48:00.000-06:00

"You are constructing your own reality with the choices you make ... or don't make. If you really want a healthy pregnancy and joyful birth, and you truly understand that you are the one in control, then you must examine what you have or haven't done so far to create the outcome you want." - Kim Wildner - Mother's Intention: How Belief Shapes Birth

Breastfeeding and Marketing

2011-12-26T08:56:00.001-06:00

www.sheknows.com/

I love breastfeeding.. not just doing it, but seeing it and supporting it.

Breastmilk is the perfect food for baby. There is no substitute for the perfect thing, unless it is less-than-perfect. In fact, formula feeding is not even second best... it's fourth.

Breastfeeding
Pumping and providing expressed breast milk from the baby's own mother
Receiving donor milk from another woman's pumped breast milk
Formula - Dr. Jack Newman, The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers

Christy Jo, author and blogger over at Birthing, Bonding, and Breastfeeding, has started an awesome campaign.

"This post is about advertising, marketing and deception. We as educators, public health professionals, moms, citizens, consumers, tax payers, etc. have to demand honesty in advertising--especially from the formula companies. These companies use inferior ingredients, cut corners in production, and then lie about its value, causing customers to flock to the registers with complete peace of mind. As consumers, we question the quality of what we purchase and we want what we pay for...then there's formula..."

To read the rest of her article and to see more of her awesome advertisements, see Formula Companies Dare To Compare Imitation to the Real Thing.

If you are considering breastfeeding, there are some awesome resources I think you would benefit from:

In addition to these, there are great videos to help you on your way to knowing how to perfect the breastfeeding latch, different positions, and more!

If you are nursing and experiencing any issues, get help now! Nearly every issue can be overcome with proper help and diligence. And, it is so. very. worth. it. Proper help is not your pediatrician, it is an independent lactation consultant with proper training. Where can you find one of those gems? Ask a doula, childbirth educator, midwife, or La Leche League for recommendations.

Most do home or hospital visits and, although they can get pricey at times... consider, if you can't resolve the issue, give up on breastfeeding and switch to formula feeding, how much more money will you dish out to pay for that formula? It is worth it!

Tis Better To Give... WINNERS

2011-12-25T11:32:00.000-06:00

Sorry it has taken me awhile to get these up... my computer doesn't seem to like blogger right now, or vice versa. :)

BUT, I have the winners to Tis Better to Give, and they are, in order:

This means that Enjoy Birth, Kalie, and Heidelade are my winners!

Enjoy Birth asked for the book, as she is #1 on the list, she receives her first choice, Arms Wide Open!
Kalie, #2, asked for the book as well, unfortunately, I only have one to give away, so she will be winning The Expecting Mama packet! I hope she has use for these in her business!
And Heidelade is #3! She also asked for the book, but she also gave me a second choice, the postpartum gift set! So, I will be sending out the postpartum gift set to her!

Ladies, be sure to contact me asap so that I can send these out to you!

There's Just Something About Mary

2011-12-23T08:53:00.000-06:00

Every Christmas, I post a little Christmasy birth information.

This Christmas, let me give you a little link fun and a little Biblical narrative.

First off, the First, More Accurate Than Most, Noel! This is a funny skit based on how Mary and Joseph probably interacted on their journey to census. It isn't meant to be literal, or philosophical in the least - simply entertaining. :)

Second, Whole Mother did an awesome radio segment, in honor of the "most famous unassisted birth" ever, on unassisted birth, the birth story of one of our other local doulas. Enjoy listening here.

Third, something we don't often consider. While Mary was waiting for her baby, she went to stay with her cousin Elizabeth, who was 6 months pregnant, for "about 3 months". Many theologians believe that Mary went to Elizabeth's stayed for 3 months, then left right before the birth.

I believe that Mary stayed with Elizabeth throughout labor and birth, but then left before Elizabeth's lying-in time was done.

Why do I think this way? The timeline.

Verse 24 says that Elizabeth went into seclusion for 5 months. Then verse 26 begins "in the 6th month" (coming after hearing about 5 months of seclusion, we know that this is the the 6th month of Elizabeth's pregnancy) Gabriel makes his announcement to Mary.

Right after that conversation (between the Angel and Mary - verse 39) it says "At that time" Mary went to see Elizabeth.

We then have the conversation between Mary and Elizabeth, Mary's beautiful song, and verse 56, which says Mary stayed "about" 3 months.

Verse 57 sounds like after Mary left Elizabeth gave birth, but we have to remember that Biblical authors don't always write in a linear fashion.

In the case of 1:56, it simply wraps up Mary's involvement with the narrative about the coming of John the Baptist. And in 1:57, the narrative is bringing Elizabeth back center stage by introducing the fact that Elizabeth had her baby.

Is it possible that Mary left prior to the birth of John? Absolutely. But I AM convinced that nothing in 1:57 necessarily or even probably implies Mary's absence. In fact, as was practice in that day and time, Mary would have stayed to help Elizabeth give birth, as was the custom of women supporting other women.

Additionally, it would benefit/behoove Mary to stay and help. She would see birth, learn, and know what labor and birth looked, felt, and acted like so that she was prepared for her own birthing time.

So.. would that mean that, not only did Mary have a beautiful birth in less than optimal settings... but she was also likely to be an early doula? I knew I loved that woman!

Thoughtful Thursday

2011-12-22T08:50:00.000-06:00

"I often think that had a mother been
The hostess there that evening at the inn,
There would have been no question of a stall.
She would have found some place within her hall
For Mary to lay down her tired head,
Perhaps she would have given her own bed.
And in the cradle of her own wee son,
She might have placed, that night, the Holy One.
Not with the thought of harboring a King,
Or any hope of gain her act might bring,
But from the simple goodness of her heart,
For mothers are a sisterhood apart."
- Nina Stiles

Thoughtful Thursday

2011-12-15T08:43:00.003-06:00

“Mothers need to know that their care and their choices won’t be compromised by birth politics.” - Jennifer Rosenberg

“The need to pursue healthy birth options and birth rights for women and babies doesn’t end with our own births; for women will always birth after us.” - Desirre Andrews

Tis Better To Give...

2011-12-14T08:00:00.004-06:00

My clients and peers, mentors and mamas, have all taught me so much over the years. I have come away from every single birth, not only hoping to have made a difference in their experience and life, but also searching for what that particular experience has taught me... either for the future families I would support, or for myself personally.

During this season, we all will get gifts, receive well wishes, and watch our loved ones open presents that we have chosen for them with all of the love and care we can wrap into a little box.

I wish I were able to give something to all of my lovely readers, clients, mamas, peers, and mentors, but that would be impossible.

So, instead, I want to gift something to a postpartum mama, a birth worker, and an expecting mama!

Perhaps you are a mama who could benefit from these gifts, or perhaps you are a birth worker who wants to gift it forward to a client you are working with... whatever the case, be sure to read the rules for entering at the end of this post! :)

Expecting Mama
For the mama expecting her baby, I am gifting something from my own doula library. I am giving away a copy of Mothering the Mother, an awesome back-issue of Mothering, and a plethora of samples and handouts that I normally give to the women that I work with.

Mothering the Mother is an awesome book that gives wonderful advice and information on supporting a woman in labor, how a partner can help, and how a doula can benefit the experience. There are great photos of positive laboring positions, how a father can best support the laboring woman, and what to look for postpartum.

The issue of Mothering is the special pregnancy edition from 2008 and has great information on home birth, Eco-friendly baby showers, breastfeeding, pampering mom, bed-sharing, co-sleeping, and childbirth education.

The fillers will include badger baby balm, belly lotion, nipple cream, educational handouts, and so much more!

Postpartum Mama
For the mama who has already birthed her baby, I am gifting an Earth Mama Angel Baby Postpartum Gift Set. The postpartum gift set includes Monthly Comfort Tea, postpartum bath herbs, Happy Bottom Spray, New Mama Bottom Spray, and Herbal Bottom Balm.

Birthworker

And as an added bonus, I am offering a copy of Arms Wide Open! Patsy wants to give a book away, and I have to say that I am thrilled! I wrote a review here, and cannot recommend this book enough. I would LOVE to see this book get into the hands of a doula, doula-in-training, childbirth educator, or midwife. So, if you fit that description, or if you are a mama who wants to gift it forward to your favorite birth worker, perhaps you can enter to win it for them!

Rules:
Since this is a season of gift-giving, I want to hear back from you, my readers, while also encouraging you to gift your friends/family/clients with information and advocacy.

Search my blog and find an/the article that you love
Share it on your Facebook so your friends and family can read it
Come back here and, in the comments, share the link to where you posted the above, as well as which prize you are entering to win (be sure there is an email attached to your submission so I can reach you if you win).

It's that easy!

At midnight on Christmas Eve morning, entries will be closed. Christmas Eve morning I will post the winners. :) You will have until New Year's Morning to get back to me with your mailing address (or the address of the person you are gifting the prize to), although I will ship them as soon as I get the go-ahead! Merry Christmas!!

Tis The Season

2011-12-12T09:42:00.002-06:00

I love Christmas. I love the snow (which we don't get here in TX), building snow forts in the dazzling night sky, the scent of the pine tree, the roaring fire, the baking and cooking, the family and friends visiting, the warm cups of joy clutched in cold fists... I love it all. Except one thing: when I'm asked to make a Christmas list for myself.

Maybe it's my nature, maybe I feel shy about saying 'I want' something, maybe its

because I am happy with all of the above, that gifts are an afterthought... whatever the reason, I am inevitably asked to send out a gift list for myself after the kids have sent out theirs.

For that reason, and in case you are considering giving your midwife, doula, or childbirth educator a gift this season, consider this doula's "open Christmas list".

If you are shopping for a childbirth educator, I can tell you that, unless she works through a hospital, CBE work doesn't make a lot of money. She has expenses and some of her items are either consumable/perishable or will wear out over time.

Budget Friendly - a gift card to her favorite bookstore for her latest wishlist book. Or a copy of the Business of Being Born
Moderate Cost - A knitted uterus is a great choice, especially for newer childbirth educators.
No Expense too Great - a flip chart of childbirth graphics. This is an awesome one that I am personally in love with.

If you are shopping for a doula, I can suggest items that will help her to be the best that she can be for the future women that she attends. Although the number one most precious and perfect gift you can give her is word-of-mouth advertising and referrals, there are other, more tangible, gifts that will help her on her way.

Budget Friendly - a necklace to inspire her, or a set of childbirth education booklets for her and her clients would be perfect.
Moderate Cost - the hypnodoula packet would give her excellent continued education and help her expand her bag of tools, or a homeopathy starter kit, or, if she is newer and wants a wonderful educational item, a Rebozo and DVD is a great idea.
No Expense too Great - if she is interested in becoming a placenta encapsulationist, a dehydrator would get her on her way nicely, and a birth stool would go wonderfully with any doula to any birth.

Midwives are a little more difficult, unless you know specifically what she doesn't have that she would like or needs.

Budget Friendly - if you know her assistant or any of her peers, ask them what her favorite restaurant is, a giftcard is a great way to tell her how much you appreciate her, as is buying a second of any book in her lending library (in the event one is not returned).
Moderate - Again, jewelry is always appreciated, as is a copy of any DVD in her lending library, or a hand-painted (placenta) bowl.
No Expense Too Great - a shrine is a beautiful piece of artwork to add to her office, or an antique for her collection.

And finally, if you really don't mind the cost, a wonderful gift to any midwife, doula, or childbirth educator is to gift her services to someone who cannot afford them. This allows the birthworker to give back, in turn.

Other items that all doulas, midwives, and CBE educators can always use are gift cards to bookstores or gift certificates to places like Doula Shop and Birth with Love.

In fact, we like to recycle, and places such as Ebay have resale and items at great prices.

So, if you are thinking of giving a gift to your birthworker this season, consider some of the ideas above. And have a Merry Christmas!

Thoughtful Thursday

2011-12-08T08:42:00.000-06:00

“I’ll quote my 3 yo daughter: ‘To give birth is like to poo. It hurts, you push and then you’re better’.” - Nathalie Farquet Michaud

Welcome Lex!

2011-12-05T10:11:00.000-06:00

Birth Story Time! This is the lovely birth story of one of the mom's I recently attended. I loved working with this family. Dad was a hoot, so attentive, but so lighthearted... and mama, wow, talk about intuitive! Enjoy!

In everyone’s life there are pivotal moments that define us as a person. Steer us in the new direction our life needs to go, and give us new meaning to old things. This is my moment.

Saturday, November 19^th
It was a nice day like any other day, nothing noticeably different to take note of. I was feeling more energetic than most days so we decided to take advantage and do lots of things around the house to prepare for our little baby that was slated to arrive 3 weeks from that day. Give or take, we knew best not to give him a timeline. We woke early and made our breakfast as we always do and set out to the battle plan of the day. That morning we put up all our Christmas decorations and tree so that I would not have to worry about doing that as I got further along and more uncomfortable. So to the tunes of country music I trimmed the tree and hung the ornaments getting everything all decked out. Later that afternoon my best friend Reagan came by to visit and we went for a nice long walk at the park.

Chatting away the afternoon while making our way around the large pond. Feeling still very energetic and full of anticipation, I could not have known that perhaps this was ‘the walk’ that would get the ball rolling’ . That evening after my friend left us to ourselves, we made a nice dinner and settled in for the evening. At this point I was getting some stronger than normal Braxton hicks contractions, nothing that I would have indicated as labor, but looking back on it now, may have been just that. We went to bed, with thoughts of our little man coming to us dancing in our heads.

Sunday, November 20^th, 3:54 am

My water broke.

Woken from my sleep by an interesting sensation I can’t say that I have ever experienced before. And not knowing with absolute certainty that my water had indeed broken I woke Gabor up. After some more examination and more obvious signs, we decided that indeed we were on our way to labor land. The first few moments were a frenzy of emotion, excitement, uncertainty and anxiety, but also pure joy in knowing that we were going to see our baby within 24 hours (god permitting). I got up and moved around the house for a little while trying to gather my thoughts, an text the midwife letting her know my membranes were no longer hanging out at the party. After about an hour of pacing, I decided to hop in the shower.

Not long after that, perhaps 2 hours the contractions started, not strong at first but definitely making their presence known. We put together the birth pool (which had been delivered on Friday, a week early) and I let Gabor know it might be a good idea for him to clean up as well, so we could have all the hot water we needed. By 6am I called my mother letting her know she needed to go ahead and come over that things were getting a bit more uncomfortable and I wanted her there. By 9am I was finding it more and more difficult to concentrate on anything other than the contractions and the doula was then called.

I remember thinking to myself that the pain was not unbearable and that it was necessary in order to birth my child.

So I focused and used my hypnobirthing and took each surge with a nice long breath. The doula arrived with a calming force that really helped calm both Gabor and I. She showed Gabor a nice way to apply pressure to my hips to help me during the surges and reminded me to melt into the pain, to relax and let it do what it needed to do.

Giving into my birthing body was a must if I wanted this birth to progress. We were, after all, there to have a baby. By noon I was in transition and we were making sure that the midwife was there. A new urge to push was not entering my mind and things were starting to get real. The intensity of the contractions were stronger and my body was starting to completely take over. And in some carnal way, it was amazing to feel the strength of you body as it does something so miraculous. Kellie, our midwife arrived and from then it was fast and furious. Several positions later, and never in the birth tub I was using all my strength to birth my child. Reminding myself that he would be here soon and we would be holding him. That nothing my body offered up as far as pain was too much to handle, for my body was mine. I could handle anything, I had to handle anything, I wanted to hold my child.

November 20, 1:34pm

Our child Gabor Alexander Farkas III was born.

Gabor Alexander II was the first human being to touch him – his father.
He was delivered to the cord wrapped around his neck, which Kellie gently removed. He took a few moments to take that sweet breath of fresh air, giving us a little scare, but then he wiggled his little body of 6.45 lbs and let us know he had arrived. I was instantly in love, instantly no longer the most important person in the world, instantly here to take care of this little human being.

In that moment I knew that love was greater than just one person, it was the combination of two people to make a third. That I was looking at God’s greatest miracle, LIFE! I had carried him with me every day, yearning to know what he looked like, eager to hear his cries, and now he was with me. Small and fragile laying on my chest. We were now three, a family.

We got the birth we always wanted, at home, in our own safe environment, with those around us that loved us. No harsh lights, no pain medication, no unfamiliar faces poking in and out of the room. Letting nature take its course. I would not trade our experience for the world. And I know that our son was born in a gentle and loving environment.

Special thanks go out to Kellie Moeller, our midwife who is one of the most gentle people I know. Her birth assistant Pam, who is amazingly patient. Cole Deelah, our doula, who has a spirit more calming that the ocean. And to my husband who stood beside me as I birthed our child, who gave me strength when I needed it! And to the rest of my family and friends for their undying support in our choice to have a home birth! We love you all very much.

Thoughtful Thursday

2011-12-01T08:41:00.000-06:00

"One is constantly having to balance the high expectations of modern health care with the need to respect the human soul. This is especially so with birth." - Benig Mauger

Thoughtful Thursday

2011-11-24T08:37:00.004-06:00

"The beauty of my body is not measured by the size of the clothes it can fit into, but by the stories that it tells. I have a belly and hips that say, "We grew a child in here," and breasts that say, "We nourished life." My hands, with bitten nails and a writer's callus, say, "We create amazing things." - Sarah, from 'I Am Beautiful: A Celebration of Women in Their Own Words'

Sensationalism and Sleeping Arrangements

2011-11-17T14:40:00.002-06:00

Recently the City of Milwaukee Health Department began circulating ads intended to dissuade co-sleeping amongst Milwaukee residents. Mayor Tom Bennett has made it a personal campaign to lower the incidence of SIDS within his city.

"In Milwaukee around 20% of infant mortality is attributable to a combination of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), and Sudden Unexplained Death in infancy (SUDI). " - City of Milwaukee

"The Journal Sentinel said Milwaukee had an “infant mortality crisis.” Milwaukee’s infant mortality rate in 2009 was 10.4 deaths for every 1,000 live births, according to the city’s health department. As noteworthy as this overall rate is the racial breakdown: For white babies, the rate was 5.4; for blacks, 14.1, the JS said." - ABC News

Although that is commendable, what is not commendable is the way in which they are going about it.

The ads state: "YOUR BABY SLEEPING NEXT TO YOU CAN BE JUST AS DANGEROUS.”

Yes, it CAN be, if done like the pictures show, with a baby in one ad, on it's stomach, and, in another ad, with his head on a pillow and, in both ads, surrounded by down comforters and tucked in sweetly next to a butcher's knife.

"The second-leading cause of infant mortality in Milwaukee is SIDS, or sudden infant death syndrome, which often results from ”unsafe sleep,” according to the health department’s website. A form of “unsafe sleep” is bed-sharing with parents." - ABC News

The problem with this statement is two-fold. First, SIDS is defined as the cause of death of a seemingly healthy infant for no apparent reason. So, if the baby dies from SIDS, it is unexplainable. If the baby dies from asphyxiation due to unsafe sleep environment, whether or not it is co-sleeping, then one automatically has a reason for the death.

The other side of the problem is that there are ways to SAFELY co-sleep, as well as ways to UNSAFELY co-sleep. Just as unsafe crib sleeping can result in a baby's death, so can unsafe co-sleeping.

"“Is it shocking? Is it provocative?” asked Bevan Baker, the city’s commissioner of health, according to the Journal Sentinel. ”Yes. But what is even more shocking and provocative is that 30 developed and underdeveloped countries have better [infant death] rates than Milwaukee."

Of these deaths the majority die in an unsafe sleep environment. The City of Milwaukee Health Department strongly advises parents NOT to share a bed with their infant. This is based on an American Academy of Pediatrics 2011 Policy Statement which states that the risk of SIDS has been shown to be reduced when the infant sleeps in the same room as the mother, but the AAP recommends that infants not share a bed with parents or anyone else, due to increased risk." - ABC News

I would reply to this with, "is it shocking? Is it MISLEADING?". The answer to both of those is a resounding YES. The ads, like the information above, are erroneous.

"“If the ads make some people uncomfortable, I guarantee it’s a lot less uncomfortable than having another baby die from co-sleeping,” a cause of death that is “so preventable,” [Bennett] added." - ABC News

Do you know what I would rather see parents given? Better information on how to keep their baby SAFE. Babies who are at an increased risk for SIDS:

African American babies are twice as likely to die from SIDS than Caucasian babies
Boys are at a greater risk as well
babies from parents who smoke, drink, or use drugs during pregnancy
babies from mother's who received no or poor prenatal care
babies who are premature or low birth-weight
babies born to mothers younger than 20
babies who live with family members who smoke or are routinely exposed to tobacco smoke following birth
overheating from excessive sleepwear and bedding
stomach sleeping

Now, Milwaukee is a cold area... this is coming from a person who has lived in Chicago and Michigan in the past. So, already, there will be a greater risk from babies being covered or dressed to warmly to snug against the cold weather. Additionally, Milwaukee has a high poverty rate, a high population of young mothers, and a high population of African Americans. (all information taken from citystats and US Census).

Further, Milwaukee suffers from some of the strongest social and racial inequalities, is one of the fastest climbing populations of poor, and has some of the largest and fastest growing crime rates in the nation.Wisconsin is also reported to have a high population of smokers, and an obese population of over 63%. Although Wisconsin can tout low rates of teen pregnancies and births, Milwaukee cannot.

"The teen birth rate in Milwaukee is one of the highest city rates among all the industrial nations in the world. Teen pregnancy has a negative impact on educational attainment, physical and mental health, and financial well-being of the teen parent. The infants of teen mothers are more apt to die during their first year and/or be born prematurely." - City of Milwaukee Health Dept.

Milwaukee is noted for having an issue with women not getting good prenatal care, and many women don't even seek out prenatal care until the 2nd or 3rd trimesters. Part of that is due to limited access to care, as Wisconsin has cut funding for state medical assistance by over 16%, and part of that is the population to healthcare provider ratio being grossly unbalanced. There are also some very low breastfeeding rates reported, especially in one local hospital (under 50%)

In other words, I believe, as many do, that Bennett's ad campaign is short sighted, completely off-based, and being used as a panacea... when, in fact, UNSAFE co-sleeping is only part of the problem, as shown above.

Proper co-sleeping, in fact, has been shown to be safe. In fact, it can help reduce the risk of SIDS. How? A few of the ways include the fact that co-sleeping promotes more rest in baby and mom remains more alert, although rested. Add to that the fact that co-sleeping increases breastfeeding success, and breastfeeding reduces the risk of SIDs.

Instead of telling families not to co-sleep because it is as dangerous as letting your baby sleep with a knife, why not tell them that improper co-sleeping is dangerous.

Safe Co-Sleeping follows these rules:

Babies will be of healthy gestation, and not low-birth weight
Family members within the home will not be smokers (baby will not be exposed to second hand smoke)
Specifically and especially, those in the bed with baby will not be smokers
Mom will be breastfeeding her baby
Babies will be on their backs, on firm, clean mattresses or bed mats (no couches, intersecting furniture, water beds, or rocking chairs)
Only light blanketing will be used, and never over the babies head (no use of heavy quilts or satin sheets)
The baby will not have stuffed animals or pillows either under their heads or near their bodies
Those sleeping with the baby should not be on any over-the-counter, recreational, or prescription medication, or be drinking any alcohol
Long hair should be tied back and grossly obese individuals should consider carefully whether they should co-sleep

When these rules are followed, co-sleeping is a safe and healthy option for a family and their baby. Dr. Sears even writes that co-sleeping results are as follows:

Research shows that co-sleeping infants virtually never startle during sleep and rarely cry during the night, compared to solo sleepers who startle repeatedly throughout the night and spend 4 times the number of minutes crying. Startling and crying releases adrenaline, which increases heart rate and blood pressure, interferes with restful sleep and leads to long term sleep anxiety.
Studies show that infants who sleep near to parents have more stable temperatures, regular heart rhythms, and fewer long pauses in breathing compared to babies who sleep alone. This means baby sleeps physiologically safer.
Worldwide research shows that the SIDS rate is lowest (and even unheard of) in countries where co-sleeping is the norm, rather than the exception. Babies who sleep either in or next to their parents’ bed have a fourfold decrease in the chance of SIDS. Co-sleeping babies actually spend more time sleeping on their back or side 1 which decreases the risk of SIDS. Further research shows that the carbon dioxide exhaled by a parent actually works to stimulate baby’s breathing.
The Consumer Product Safety Commission published data that described infant fatalities in adult beds. These same data, however, showed more than 3 times as many crib related infant fatalities compared to adult bed accidents. Another recent large study concluded that bed sharing did NOT increase the risk of SIDS, unless the mom was a smoker or abused alcohol. (all information taken directly from The Scientific Benefits of Co-Sleeping).

Milwaukee would do better to invest more in their African American and teen pregnancy programs, promote breastfeeding through in-home lactation education, and provide centering groups and insurance-covered midwifery care both in the hospital and outside of it. Likewise, they should make more of an effort to lower their alcohol, teen pregnancy, low-birth weight, and smoking rates.

All there is left to say at this point is: City of Milwaukee and Mayor Bennett, shame on you. I'm sorry to say it, because I understand that they aren't meaning to give bad information or mislead parents into a false sense of security... but, since they have the very public ability to influence a large amount of the population, they are held to a higher standard - to make sure that science and research back up their claims, and that they give the public full and informed disclosure.

To petition the removal of these ads, please sign here.

Additional Reading and Research:
CheckPoint
State Health Facts
LeapFrog group
University of Notre Dame Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory
Mother-Infant Cosleeping, Breastfeeding and SIDS
SIDS, Co-Sleeping, and Breastfeeding
Never Sleep With Baby?
PowerPoint on Media/Gov vs Fact
Dr. Sears on Co-Sleeping
California SIDS council on Safe Co-Sleeping
UNICEFs Safe Co-Sleeping Printable
Here's Your Knife, Milwaukee
Parenting Co-Sleeping Response
The Dangers of Demonising Bed Sharing
Fearmongering
Don't Allow Your Babies To Sleep With Knives

Thoughtful Thursday

2011-11-17T08:35:00.005-06:00

"In the sheltered simplicity of the first days after a baby is born, one sees again the magical closed circle, the miraculous sense of two people existing only for each other, the tranquil sky reflected on the face of the mother nursing her child." - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Houston Doulas

2011-11-16T09:29:00.000-06:00

As part of the South Houston Doula Cooperative, I (and my fellow doulas) coordinate Red Tent Birth Story nights around Houston. At the beginning of these events, we share a short introduction. It goes something like this:

Storytelling is an ancient ritual with tremendous power and value in society. It is the oldest form of sharing wisdom and educating generations. It is the most ancient form of woman to woman wisdom, and it is powerful.

The more we tell our stories the more we know the oral history of our lives and those who came before us. Storytelling has the power to heal and transform our lives on a profound level.You might hear of birth experiences that you want for yourself, you might hear birth experiences that you want to avoid. You might be brought to tears, or laughter, as you share or listen.

It is crucial to tell our birth stories, celebrate the happy ones, heal from the unhappy ones, and unite as a community to create the best births possible for mothers. Telling birth stories can be a very powerful way to process birth as well as a way to get to know how mothers in our community are birthing.

As an ancient African proverb states, "Being pregnant and giving birth are like crossing a narrow bridge. People can accompany you to the bridge. They can greet you on the other side. But you must walk that bridge alone.”

I began thinking, between the red tents that we promote in the Houston area, and the power of our birth stories, it would be so powerful for the doulas of Houston to share their own birth stories for the women that we serve to know us as intimately as we get to know them.

For that reason, I decided to create the "Houston Doulas, Birthing" series.

To find out how the doulas of Houston give birth, follow me over to Sage Beginnings and start reading! Expect to continue seeing Houston Doula Birth Stories on Sage Beginnings throughout November and December.

Thoughtful Thursday

2011-11-10T08:27:00.003-06:00

"A woman
in harmony
with her spirit
is like
a river flowing.

She goes
where she will
without pretense
and arrives
at her destination,

prepared
to be herself
and
only
herself. "

- Maya Angelou

Thoughtful Thursday

2011-11-03T08:31:00.002-05:00

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you NOT to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the World.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
Is is not just in some of us;
it is in everyone.
As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

~ Marianne Williamson

Thoughtful Thursday

2011-10-27T06:18:00.003-05:00

"A baby is God's opinion that life should go on"....

"Never will a time come when the most marvelous recent invention is

as marvelous as a newborn baby. The finest of our precision watches,

the most super-colossal of our supercargo plants, don't compare with a

newborn baby in the number and ingenuity of coils and springs, in the

flow and change of chemical solutions, in timing devices and interrelated parts that are irreplaceable. A baby is very modern. Yet it is also the oldest of

the ancients. A baby doesn't know he is a hoary and venerable antique —

but he is. Before man learned how to make an alphabet, how to

make a wheel, how to make a fire, he knew how to make a baby —

with the great help of woman, and his God and Maker." - Carl Sandburg

The Weeks Following Birth

2011-10-22T09:02:00.000-05:00

The time after birth, also known as postpartum, is a time of great emotional, physical, and mental adjustments. Many women find that they are weepy, emotionally rocky, have difficulty sleeping or taking care of their own needs (bathing, getting ready for the day, feeding themselves, etc..). These are all common as families learn to juggle the new responsibilities of parenting, along with adjusting to the needs and schedules of their smallest members.

There are, in layman's terms, 3 different types of mood challenges that can develop in the postpartum period. These three are the Baby Blues, Postpartum Depression, and Postpartum Psychosis (some in the medical community add a fourth - Postpartum PTSD - that can accompany Birth Trauma).

Many women experience the baby blues in the first few days after childbirth, some theorize an upwards of 75% of postpartum women experience some level of the baby blues. Some symptoms of the baby blues include:

mood swings, including feeling sad, anxious, or overwhelmed
crying spells
loss of appetite
insomnia

The baby blues most often peak within the first few days after birth and go away within a few days or a week. The symptoms are not severe and do not need treatment beyond community and relational support. A postpartum doula can greatly help to alleviate the symptoms of the baby blues.

The symptoms of postpartum depression last longer and are more severe. Postpartum depression can begin anytime within the first year after childbirth, although they often manifest within the first month. Postpartum Depression takes on a number of guises and symptoms and can include:

the same symptoms of baby blues, but more severe
disinterest in things that normally bring you joy
thoughts of hurting yourself or the baby
not having any interest in the baby

Postpartum depression needs to be treated by a doctor and/or counselor. Some treatments include: community and support groups, homeopathic or herbal remedies, or medications. Postpartum doulas can still be a great asset during this situation and help to transition a woman into motherhood in conjunction with her medical team's efforts.

Postpartum Psychosis is rare. It occurs in about 1 to 4 out of every 1,000 births. It usually begins in the first 2 weeks after childbirth. Women who have bipolar disorder or another mental health problem called schizo-affective disorder have a higher risk for postpartum psychosis. Symptoms may include:

hallucinations
confusion
rapid mood swings
trying to hurt yourself or your baby

While many women experience some mild mood changes during or after the birth of a child, 15 to 20% of women experience more significant symptoms of depression or anxiety. Please know that with informed care you can prevent a worsening of these symptoms and can fully recover. There is no reason to continue to suffer.

Women of every culture, age, income level and race can develop perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. Symptoms can appear any time during pregnancy and the first 12 months after childbirth. - From PSI

Additionally, about one in ten new fathers will develop postpartum depression, usually during the first six month's of the baby's life, according to a meta-analysis of findings from 43 studies.

The authors pointed out that a "large body of research on maternal depression documents incidence rates between 10% and 30%," but until now mood disorders in fathers have been largely ignored. Researchers have hypothesized that there were similarities between maternal and paternal depression, but the available data are based on an emerging and inconsistent literature. - New Dad's Also At Risk for Postpartum Depression

This means that the father/partner of the woman who just gave birth cannot be the sole source of watching for postpartum depression.

As a loving friend, partner, or family member, when you visit with the new parents (or your partner) be considering the following:

Are they feeling sad or depressed?
Do they seem more irritable or angry with those around them?
Do they seem to be having difficulty bonding with the baby?
Do they seem anxious or panicky?
Are they having problems with eating or sleeping?
Do they seem unable to take care of themselves (unkempt or not bathed and not caring)?
Do they mention things like feeling “out of control” or like they are “going crazy”?
Do they make remarks such as they never should have become a parent?
Have they mentioned they are worried that they might hurt the baby or themselves?

Any of these symptoms, and many more, could indicate that either of the new parents have a form of perinatal mood or anxiety disorder, such as postpartum depression. Listen online as Dr. Pauline Dillard, , a specialist in postpartum mood disorders, discusses "Postpartum Depression Part I".

If you believe you or someone you care about may be experiencing some level of postpartum mood disorder, take this short test or this online PPD screening tool, which can help you with an initial assessment, but should not take the place of professional care if you believe that you or someone you know is suffering from Postpartum Depression.

HOW CAN I HELP?
This question is so important, especially to the person being asked. As a friend or loved one of the new parent(s), when you ask how you can help, be sure to mean it. This includes, usually, doing mundane things around the house so that the new family unit can spend time recovering. This also means listening, being attentive, and watchful.

Most new families have quite a bit of support from friends, family, and community for the first 1-2 weeks after baby is born. After that time, support drops off, and this is when families need the support the most.

Listen online as Dr. Dillard discusses "Caring for the Postpartum Family" on the Whole Mother show on kpft.org out of Houston.

As parents preparing for a new addition, consider planning for the postpartum period just as diligently as you do the birth. Additional resources for making a postpartum plan are here and here.

Mom, make sure you have a list of people you can call on to be completely honest with your feelings and thoughts about, someone to help you with housework, and someone who will ask the 'tough questions'.
Dads/partners you should help make sure there are friends/family/community to help mom when you can't be there, and you should make sure to have a non-judgmental listening ear to be able to talk to as well.
Consider making a detailed baby care plan, including who will be responsible for what tasks in the first 2 months after baby is born and who each family member can call when they feel overwhelmed or sad.
A postpartum doula in the area suggests writing down chores that need to be done and putting them in a bowl. When people visit, they must draw a slip from the bowl and complete their chore before they are able to hold the baby.

For additional reading or help:
Afterbirth, After Birth
PSI
Jennifer Mudd Houghtaling PPD Foundation
Postpartum Men
Mother to Mother Postpartum Depression Network
Birth Crisis
TABS - PTSD and traumatic birth support
SOLACE - Birth Trauma support center
Postpartum Care
Postpartum Depression - a handout on how to support someone working through PPD

Thoughtful Thursday

2011-10-20T08:16:00.001-05:00

"We have found that there are laws as constant as the laws of physics, electricity, or astronomy whose influence on the process of the birthing cannot be ignored. The midwife or doctor attending births must be flexible enough to discover the way these laws work and learn how to work with them. Pregnant and birthing mothers are elemental forces, in the same sense that gravity, thunderstorms, earthquakes, and hurricanes are elemental forces. In order to understand the laws of their energy flow, you have to love and respect them for their maginificence at the same time that you study them with the accuracy of a true scientist. A midwife or obstetrician needs to understand about how the energy of childbirth flows – to no know is to be like a physicist who doesn’t understand about gravity". - Ina May Gaskin

Women Who Choose a Doula

2011-10-17T08:53:00.000-05:00

I have often been asked what type of women choose a doula... Truth be told, I have seen all types of women choose a doula.

The definition of what a doula provides, constant companionship, continuity of care, emotional, physical, and mental relaxation and support, and the knowledge of natural normal birth and how to assist the process all equate to an invaluable service that every walk of woman deserves and most find that they want.

Some of the women that I have helped:

The 40 year old woman who has already given birth 4 times. She is an author and wife of her high school sweet heart - the epitome of suburban housewife. For her 5th baby, a surprise, she wanted something different, a natural birth.
The photographer who was also expecting her first babies, yep, twins. Although she opted for a surgical birth, she wanted to make it the best choice possible and wanted her husband, a banker, to be able to not have to worry about whether he would get the birth on film or not.
The single, modern hippy. 24 years old, recently graduated, and an elementary school teacher. She is a vegetarian, completely inked out, and looking into a birth center birth. She plans on being supported by her closest friend and mentor from church.
A husband and wife team who also both happen to be family practice physicians. They are planning a medicated hospital birth, but want to minimize risk, while maximizing comfort. They are looking for the yin to their yang, the tree to their tower, the serenity to their city life.
The 28 year old couple who are newly married. He is a governmental engineer and she is a student professor at a local college. She is not quite sure of her desires for birth, the only thing that she knows for sure is that she wants both of them to enjoy the experience and have all of their options laid out for them.
The lesbian couple who live in a flat downtown. They are mid-30's and happily expecting their first baby. Expectant mom is graphic artist, pregnant mom is the CEO of a hedge fund investment firm. They are hoping for a homebirth with a midwife. Their dream birth is quite, peaceful, calm, and supported by feminine energy throughout. They want someone to bounce ideas off of, to help field questions to from their family and friends who they will be inviting to the birth.
The 16 year old who didn't expect to be pregnant, and the 42 year old woman and her husband who are planning to adopt the 16 year old's baby. She is planning on a water birth in a birth center. The pregnant girl's parents won't be at the birth, and she wants a friend, a confidante, and a non-judgmental rock to hold on to.

Every woman deserves a doula, and every situation can benefit from the presence of a doula.

Thoughtful Thursday

2011-10-13T06:23:00.001-05:00

“Breastfeeding… led me to self-discovery and to a greater

appreciation of the full humanity of the babies

who were entrusted to me. Each woman needs to trust

her own instincts, her own feelings, and her own sense of

what will work for her with each baby.” –Viola Lennon

A Serene Birth

2011-10-09T18:44:00.006-05:00

Remember that wonderful review for Houston Hypnobabies? Well, here is her lovely birth story (and a link to her review of yours truly). I loved working with T, she is such a dynamic, passionate, and honest woman! And I hope that her story can be an inspiration to many!

Like most women, my birth journey started when I was young. My mom told us how she gave birth to each of us naturally. How when her water broke with me (her eldest), she asked my dad to get a towel, and in his 1am stupor he stumbled back to her with a tiny face cloth. She told me how she gave birth to me 6.5 hours later, and that seemed like a long time to me. I got my period at 11 years old and my mom hugged me and told me how proud she was of me. I thought – what did I do? Just got crippling cramps monthly and worried because someone at some point told me birth was 10 times worse. In health class at the age of 16, when everyone’s thinking about sex, I was the only kid in class absolutely fascinated with the birth video they showed us to scare us back into virginity for a little while longer. I knew that, even though I wanted desperately to be an astronaut and an architect, I also wanted to be a mom someday – I wanted so much to give birth. I wanted to bring life into this world with my body. I thought that was one of the coolest things I could ever do. And I never doubted I would do it...

To read the rest, go here.

2011-10-07T08:24:00.000-05:00

Thoughtful Thursday

2011-10-06T06:20:00.001-05:00

"It is staggering to realize the sacrifices and superhuman effort

that mothers give for their babies before they are even born.

Doesn’t matter how many contractions she felt or didn’t feel,

how long she had to push or how baby eventually came out,

or even if the baby was with us for only a short while

and never took a breath.

We moms, we’re all in it together and I wish the general

motherhood collective would realize this and start to build

each mom up with support and praise, because some need

more than others, but there’s not a mom out there who

doesn’t need it at all." - BeadHeadBirth

Non-Toxic and Lovin' It! - WINNER

2011-09-29T12:05:00.001-05:00

I am happy to be able to announce the winner of the Non-Toxic and Lovin' It Giveaway!

And the winner is....

VICKI!

Vicki, I have sent you an email. Please respond within the 2 days allotted and you will have yourself a soap of your choice. :)

Thoughtful Thursday

2011-09-29T06:04:00.003-05:00

Being Born Is Important

"Being born is important
You who have stood at the bedposts
and seen a mother on her high harvest day,
the day of the most golden of harvest moons for her.

You who have seen the new wet child
dried behind the ears,
swaddled in soft fresh garments,
pursing its lips and sending a groping mouth
toward the nipples where white milk is ready~

You who have seen this love’s payday
of wild toil and sweet agonizing~

You know being born is important.
You know nothing else was ever so important to you.
You understand the payday of love is so old,
So involved, so traced with the circles of the moon,
So cunning with the secrets of the salts of the blood~
It must be older than the moon, older than the salt." - Carl Sandburg

An Open Letter to a Mother

2011-09-26T05:53:00.001-05:00

A different type of birth story. This birth story was written for a mom I recently worked with that truly gave it all, made all the right choices, and truly encompassed:

"Courage allows the successful woman to fail - and to learn powerful lessons from the failure - so that in the end, she didn't fail at all." - Maya Angelou

Mmmmm, Hormones!

2011-09-23T10:01:00.001-05:00

I am such a birth geek. I prefer that term to birth junkie because I am not necessarily addicted to birth, but I am definitely completely geeky about it - insatiably learning and researching and assisting with it at every possible moment.

I love reading about the event; our anatomy and physiology, the hormones of labor and birth, our emotional and mental and spiritual selves during the event - it's amazing.

Which is why I wanted to link you up to some great reads about the lovely and intoxicating hormones of labor and birth:

Oxytocin - the love hormone. You know, kiss me deeply and make me feel all purry inside.
Melatonin - yep, dark room and sleepy mama? this even helps!
Beta Endorphins - you know, the painless high that athletes get? yep, laboring women get it too, but not if you have an epidural!
Adrenaline - not so good in first stage, awesome in second stage.

And for further reading on the subject:

A great PDF of Sarah Buckley's Ecstatic Birth - Hormonal Blueprint of Labor, the most popular article on this subject.
Natural Childbirth III: Why Undisturbed Birth and Natural Childbirth IV: the Hormones of Birth - a really neat read.
Childbirth Connections quick reference of the hormones of labor and birth.
A great slideshow presentation on the Hormones of Birth

Non-Toxic and Lovin' It!

2011-09-21T09:11:00.000-05:00

Ok readers, can I just say I am an Earth Mama Angel Baby junkie? I love their products!

So, how thrilled was I to see that they were offering me some samples to try out on my family as well as a giveaway for one lucky reader on my blog?!

I received my trial-sizes of all four of their toxin-free soaps:

Naturally calming Lavender Vanilla Calm & Clean Hand to Toe Wash
Truly unscented Natural Non-Scents Hand to Toe Wash
Exhilarating, queasy-busting Ginger Lime Happy Mama Hand to Toe Wash
Gentle Vanilla Sweet orange Angel Baby Shampoo & Body Wash

Now, what did my family think?

My 11-year old daughter loved the Calm & Clean Scent, as did the twins. They said the smell and the feel was like honey on their toes. :)
My 8 year old preferred the Angel Baby Shampoo & Body Wash, scented with orange. It also made her hair shine in a way that her locks don't normally shine. :)
My son and my husband preferred the Non-Scents so that it didn't interfere with their MAN-Scents.... (insert roll eyes)
Me, I am still a die-hard for the Ginger-Grapefruit scent of Happy Mama. Ginger and grapefruit.. who doesn't love the nose-tingling, eye popping, skin invigorating tingle-your-senses mojo of that combination?

Likewise, when my family got hit with the flu just a week ago, they all received a nice, long soak in a Happy Mama bath... and came out without the queasies for the first time in a long time!

I love that I can offer my family Triclosan-free products.

Did you know that newly released data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) finds that levels of triclosan in humans have increased by 50% since 2004? Triclosan is also shown to alter thyroid function, and other studies have found that due to its extensive use in consumer goods, triclosan and its metabolites are present in, fish, umbilical cord blood and human milk.

Although we are a family that believes God Made Dirt and Dirt Don't Hurt, when it comes to the sniffley, germy, coughy, clingy children that my kids will encounter on a day-to-day basis, I LOVE having the option to send them out with Earth Mama Angel Baby products to keep them clean. And they can do it all while smelling HEAVENLY (yes, I meant to use that pun).

So, with all of that said, I really am ecstatic to share this giveaway with you! If you win, you will receive a full-sized soap of your choice (of the scents listed above). This giveaway is open to US and Canadian addresses only. Sorry!

Rules
You must submit a separate comment for each entry. (i.e. if you complete all 3 of the ways to enter, be sure to submit 3 comments). You must complete the first one to be entered to win. You can enter a total of 3 time (hence, three chances).

Tell me which scent you want and why, along with what toxin free options mean to YOU! write it in a comment (and don't forget to give me a way to get a hold of you.
Follow EMAB on twitter (@EMAB_HQ), then tell me you are in a commen
Sign up to receive Mama’s Monthly Newsletter

And, if you have a moment, take the time to visit them on Facebook and let them know how thankful you are that they are offering this giveaway on Bellies and Babies!

The giveaway will close on September 28th at 11:59pm. I will draw a winner from Random.org on September 29th and post the winner. You will have 2 days to contact me if you are the winner, otherwise I will draw another name. Good luck!!!

For more reading, see Soap vs Detergent, What Are YOU Soaking In?

Disclaimer: Earth Mama Angel Baby provided this product for my review at no cost, according to FTC Guidelines.

Schism

2011-09-19T13:19:00.003-05:00

I have been having issues lately; issues from within the birthing community. Now, all of you mamas out there who think we in the childbirth community are perfect, I'm sorry to break it to you that we aren't. For all of you childbirth professionals who read my blog, I am guessing that at least 3/4 of you are nodding your heads out there in cyberspace.

~~I wish I could remain blissfully ignorant~~. ~~I wish we would stop this bickering~~. I wish we could all just get along and act like adults.

I don't share this story much because I don't want people to think that I am trash talking childbirth organizations. Because that is not the case. I don't want people to think that I don't like certifying organizations, because that is not the case either... Let me just start from the beginning and let you, the reader, get a better grasp on my frustrations.

It all began, for me, about 6 years ago. I was blissfully teaching childbirth classes when I received a 'warning' from the certifying organization I was teaching through that I had been narked on by one of the other childbirth educators in my, then, city. Nancy (not her real name) had called the certifying organization and told them that I was advertising for more than one service along with my certification. This was not the case.

My listing, at the time, read "______ CBE teaching _________ childbirth classes and offering birth doula support. I have experience with hospital and home births, Bradley births, Hypnobirthing, Hypnobabies, Birthing from Within, medicated, unmedicated..." etc...

I attempted to explain this, and even provided proof, to the organization, but they would hear nothing of the sort, believing that they had 'caught me' marketing with numerous credentials.

The part that irks me is that Nancy was actually teaching a hybrid class of two different childbirth methods; resulting in a hybrid program that lasted 5 weeks. I, on the other hand, was simply saying I had experience working with moms who chose these different methods of birth preparation.

Their next disagreement with me came when they found I was giving more current research and studies to my students, in place of the outdated ones in my training packet.

Hello?! Excuse me for providing my clients with current research and options. Forgive me for taking the incentive and doing additional research to support my clients.

After hemming and hawing with them for over 2 months, getting numerous requests to 'cease and desist' from my current marketing, etc... I finally requested for them to, henceforth, consider me disaffiliated/decertified.

I thought I had it all behind me...

Then another friend of mine, in another town, emailed me to let me know that they had been decertified from _____ for having been 'turned in' for attending one planned unassisted birth and one unplanned, precipitous home birth. Another good friend was reprimanded and reviewed because she let a client know that the doctor's advice didn't sound like the whole story and that perhaps she would get a better idea of the validity of the doctor's advice if she applied the B.R.A.I.N.D. principles of informed consent.

Pretty soon, the emails began pouring in... other doula friends were chastised for performing cervical checks... even though they were trained midwife assistants or midwife apprentices and working as monitrices, other childbirth educators were being persecuted for adding 'non affiliated' relaxation scripts to their clients.

I began hearing of women who, even though they had 10+ years of reflexology, chiropractic, childbirth education, midwifery assistance, massage therapy, and natural childbirth activism under their belts, they were being slandered in their communities for calling themselves a doula just because they didn't affiliate/certify.

And, finally, most recently, I came across the Doula Register. Now, I realize it is an Australian site, but it extends it's listings across the ocean. At first glance, it seems like a great idea...

One of the chief aims of the doula register is to provide clients, hospitals, practitioners and the government reassurance that the doulas in the register are working to a set standard.

but read further.

The doula has no clinical responsibility and hence does not undertake bio-medical observations even if she has been trained to do this in a different course. For example, this means that the doula: DOES NOT : listen to the foetal heart
DOES NOT : take blood pressure measurements
DOES NOT : take the client’s temperature
DOES NOT: do vaginal examinations

All doulas? Because some doulas, myself included, can read FHTs, BP, and assess cervical dilation (monitrice work). And then, comes the real straw that breaks the camels back:

IN THE CASE OF HOME BIRTH :
The doula does not support a woman having a home birth unless the client has employed a midwife or medical practitioner to provide for her clinical care and that person is either present with the laboring woman or has asked the woman to labor alone.

IN THE CASE OF HOSPITAL OR BIRTH CENTRE BIRTH:
The doula does not go to the client’s house to support her in early labor unless the client has employed a midwife or medical practitioner (hospital or birth centre) and the doula has suggested that the client inform her clinical care provider (or hospital or birth centre) that she is in labor. (This is because only the woman and her cliental care provider can decide on the safety of her staying at home in early labor.)

Wow. Wow... so, really? I cannot labor with a woman at home until such a time that she wants her midwife with her or wants to move to the hospital setting?

This doula register is not for me.

I am just really having a hard time wrapping my head around this. I can understand why midwives and obstetricians have a hard time seeing eye to eye at times... they have a different perception of birth. But us? Midwives, doulas, childbirth educators... us?!?!

And then I read of blog posts like this one.. where she is cautious to say 'I'm not saying my way is right'.. but she sure goes out of her way to paint other choices as wrong. I'm not trying to pick on her, but these types of articles only deepen the schism further. I would have liked to have seen a more balanced tete-a-tete between a certified and uncertified doula.

Since when have we not all been working toward the same goal?

Kathy Oakes, of Serenity Birth Services recently noted on Facebook how disenfranchised she is with the direction that this 'all or nothing' attitude is taking Midwifery practices in Michigan, my home state.

"As many of you know I have been volunteering for Friends of Michigan Midwives for a few months now. Yesterday I turned in my resignation for my position. When I started working with them, I was under the assumption that this included ALL midwives. And that our goal was openly supported by ALL midwives. Afterall...we were their friends. Friends help each other out. After my last conference call with several other volunteers, I was left was a sour taste in my mouth. Something was stated (that I have now been told I must have misunderstood) that just didn't sit well with me, so I started digging.

Upon my research, this is NOT a group that includes all midwives. This is a group whose sole purpose is to push/back/support a bill, that on the surface (imo) seems great. Making Midwifery legal in the state of Michigan. Upon digging, and asking questions...not so great. ...

... The claim is so there is a standard of care. But I have seen OB's...they are suppose to have a standard of care, right? And they are elminating vbacs, pushing epis, pushin inductions, pushing time-frames on moms/births... So for me, standard of care doesn't really mean much. What I want is midwives that trust birth. As a parent who spent a lot of time researching homebirths, and researching midwives I feel that moms, and dads are 100% capable of finding a midwife with a GOOD record, a midwife they can trust. A midwife with experience, and education (which doesn't always mean "book taught"). The more I think about state licensure for midwives, the more I realize the power that is being taken away from parents. " - Midwifery and The Great Divide

She goes on to add that, through legislative efforts, Michigan midwives may very well have strictures and limitations put on their practices, limiting the options of the families that the midwives serve, as well as the midwives themselves.

I lived and worked within this atmosphere in Michigan. I see small strains of it here in Texas.... CPMs against CNMs, both against LMs, and all three against most doctors and hospitals. This movement has created a deeper schism than what we started with in my opinion.

(BTW, this is not a big shout out against the Big Push, I personally think that there are pros and cons to it. My personal thoughts? I think it is a good idea to have a standard of training, educating, and assessing... but too often the protocols and SOP restrict midwives to the point that it takes away parent's rights)...

Recently, I also found out that this extends into other areas of the childbirth and parenting fields... It seems that a Le Leche League leader, Nancy Mohrbacher, was summarily dismissed from her local LLL when they found out that she was also certified with another organization.

"My crash-and-burn summer continues with the news tonight, delivered in person by my brand-new La Leche League Area Coordinator of Leaders (ACL), that despite my intention to continue as an Illinois LLL leader after almost 29 years, she is removing me from her roster. Why did she take this action against my wishes? Here’s the reason she gave: I made it known that I recently became an accredited breastfeeding counselor with the new mother-to-mother support group Breastfeeding USA and I wanted to represent both organizations." - Goodbye LLL of IL

She goes on to say

"... After all, as the saying goes, “Well-behaved women rarely make history.” As you might expect, my opinion on the issue that led to my actions has not changed. If anything, I am more convinced than ever that LLLI’s directive that Leaders must choose between LLL and BFUSA is divisive and therefore destructive to breastfeeding.

In recent weeks, people on the inside have confirmed that the goal of this directive is to undermine BFUSA, which includes ex-LLL Leaders among its founders. One fact I found particularly damning is that in the recent past concerns were raised by LLLI’s legal advisors about LLL Leaders representing both LLL and Attachment Parenting International, two organizations very similar in philosophy and purpose, yet these concerns fell on deaf ears. The insurance issue given as a reason for this directive is clearly a red herring.

LLLI is headed down a slippery slope. In Illinois, nearly half of its Leaders have resigned in the last two years. It’s clearly time for it to look in the mirror and reevaluate its Leadership and its strategies." - Settling Into My New LLL Home

Really? A woman is so passionate about breastfeeding and supporting women to breastfeed that she took the initiative to expand her training and education. And what does she get for that? A slap on the wrist.

What have I come away with from all of this? I feel, more strongly than ever, that I made the right choice to disaffiliate with the childbirth education organization that I had trained under. I feel, more strongly than ever, that I made the right choice to not certify with the doula credentialing organization that I trained with. But not happily so.

Do others truly believe that I like being a 'rebel doula', a doula with no home? No. I wish from my deepest heart of hearts that we could have certifying organizations that provided a mother-friendly standard of care for childbirth professionals to operate under. I am finding, more and more, that I cannot be a part of most of these organizations and still provide women with every option that they have a right to... or I have to lie to the organizations that I might be affiliated with.

Instead, I am happy to say that I have passed the certification test for one childbirth education program, but can happily help you, the mother, through many methods of childbirth, since I have studied most.

Instead, I can say that, although I did sit through a 4 day doula workshop and pass the proficiency test for birth doula support, I am not affiliated with any organization. On the other hand, I have apprenticed with a chiropractor, a massage therapist, and now am apprenticing with a midwife.

This means that I bring a wide range of experience and large set of skills to the births I attend, and am unhindered by the politics of many of these organizations.

But I'm not happy about what it takes for me to be able to provide this. I have come to the hard realization that, to take initiative, to further their education and expand their repertoire, often comes at a huge cost to those who pursue it.

I am tired. Tired of the back biting, the in-crowds, the ____-only clubs... I am tired of announcing that I am a doula of 11 years but not certified and see other doulas start whispering. I am tired of watching people with multiple certifications getting lashed at by their organizations. It's a 'damned if we do and damned if we don't' affair. (excuse my language).

Have some of us become so far removed from the heart of this calling to remember why we started in the first place? It was to provide women with valid options, loving support, and honest care.

A better question is, what can we do to mend this fracture.. this schism... and unify once more for the betterment of the women we so want to serve?

Additional Reading:
Some Thoughts on Doula Certification
The History of Birth Partners
Getting To The Heart
Doulas Scope of Practice
and, for the other side of the coin, Certification: Why Not

Plumtree Baby WINNER!

2011-09-17T12:20:00.000-05:00

Thanks for everyone who entered the Plumtree Baby Giveaway! Now, for the winner...

Heather @ Doula Dreaming!!

Congratulations! Heather, you have until Sept 21st to send me your mailing address! If I don't hear from you by then, I will draw another winner. Let me know what you think of it when you get the package!

Houston is B.I.R.T.Hing.. for the 10th time!

2011-09-17T10:44:00.000-05:00

Guess what?! Houston is getting ready for their annual B.I.R.T.H. Fair! If you are in the Houston area, please try to come to this, stop by my booth, and say hi!

BIRTH Fair isn't just for those that pregnant, there will be over 50 vendors that support a natural and healthy way of life as well as a great line up of speakers.

You don't want to miss one of the many great speakers, Dr. Pauline Dillard, who will be speaking about 'Healing from Cesarean Trauma'. We will have overstuffed goody bags for our guests, activities for children, and will show the blockbuster film The Business of Being Born with Ricky Lake.

Our 10th Annual Birth Fair will be held on

October 1st from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m.

at the United Way Center on 50 Waugh Drive.

Check us out on Facebook for our latest giveaways, or visit www.houbirth.org or call 832-318-9654 for more information.

This event is free and open to all ages.

How Do You Decide

2011-09-16T08:58:00.000-05:00

http://www.drmomma.org/2009/09/history-of-female-circumcision-in.html

I recently got in a rather heated discussion with a nurse.

The argument, after I compared female and male circumcision, declined to this:

"A direct comparison was made between male circumcision and female genital mutilation. The two acts were conflated. Female mutilation is a purposeless and barbaric act performed by evil men who comit this atrocity to keep women as second-class citizens.

The only conclusion that can be drawn when a direct relationship is made between female mutilation and male circumcision is that they are equally atrocious.

And if the two acts are the same (remember, they were directly compared), someone who sees a benefit to male circumcision is by definition just as evil as someone who supports female genital mutilation. If female mutilation and male circumcision are truly exactly the same, then anyone who favors either act must be an equally repugnant person." - Nursing Student

Obviously, she is horrified at the idea of female circumcision but very much in favor of male circumcision.

Which leads me to this post. I'll make it short and sweet...

Which child is protected by current law to have part of their genitalia cut off? Which child is protected by current law to have their genitalia preserved?

Which child's parents would be considered barbaric by the majority of the population if they circumcised the child? Which child's parents would be offered the option before leaving the hospital because it is culturally accepted?

Which child's parents have a right to decide if they should have a healthy part of their body excised? Which child's body is less deserving of their natural state?

Which child's genitalia is more likely to be permanently altered because of religion, cultural acceptance, aesthetic appearance, or 'health reasons'?

You and I both know the answers to these questions. I would encourage you to take a look at the chart that I created below. Feel free to share at will, just give a link back or reference me as a source.

It is amazing what we can justify when it fits our personal paradigms and wants/desires.

Intactivism on the Net

2011-09-14T14:00:00.000-05:00

As you all know, I speak out on some less-than-comfortable subjects. Now, this post may offend some. If you are one of the offended, just skip over this post and read the ones that don't offend.

BUT, but, I feel this is an important subject. We did not circumcise our son, and we don't believe in routine circumcision. For more on that, see the list below:

The point of this post, though, is to bring attention to some recent stirrings on the internet about foreskins and the intact penis. So, without further ado, here is my list of noteworthy links:

A DICK THING TO DO - a humorous but honest look at one families discussion about circumcised and intact penises.

AB768 HEARING - a great bit of information on the California bill re: forced infant male circumcision.

INTACT OR CIRCUMCISED - a mature-audience only discussion on the difference in adult penises. Educational to say the least.

I LOVE FORESKIN - a very intimate look at how circumcision doesn't only affect the man, but others whom he will encounter throughout life.

And that about raps it up, thoughts?

Viewing Birth - Water Births

2011-09-05T10:37:00.000-05:00

Here are some newer beautiful water births on YouTube.

Enjoy on this beautiful Labor Day!

A Sweet Birth

2011-09-02T08:33:00.003-05:00

V, you were such an easy mama to work with prenatally. You had no real questions, no pressing concerns. It helped that you worked in the childbirth field yourself and that you came to the event with a wealth of knowledge and trust of the process.

Late in the evening before, you let me know that you were having some cramping that was rather rhythmic and that you would let me know if things changed. Early the next a.m., you called to let me know that it was about time for me to head over to you.

When I arrived, you looked very much in the early/early active labor phase. You were definitely working hard, and your face would pink up with every pressing on your cervix.

You relayed that, after we hung up last night, your husband and you had gone for a bike ride to dinner with a friend, then went home to simply hang out and let things happen as they would. It made me smile to envision you riding your bike in the dusk of the day, coasting during contractions.

Your husband made a smoothie and we talked about your progress. You were around a 3 (husband had checked you about an hour earlier) and your baby was still bobbing high. I asked when the last time you had been outside was. It was the night before. So, we got our shoes on and headed outside in the crisp early morning air.

As we began our trek around the lake, you remarked about the people who were out running, biking, and playing in the morning cool. Some women who passed us would give me secretive thumbs up, while the men stared worriedly.

One man stopped to ask if you needed help and expressed his concern that you were having a baby. Your husband replied that you weren't having a baby but that we were working toward that goal.

With every contraction, you would lean forward, either against the fence along the trail, or against your husbands strong waiting arms, and one of us would give your hips a nice squeeze. I could feel the intensity picking up in your face, your ligaments, and especially your eyes.

As we continued our walk, you both talked about how your son would love the ducks, and we laughed about the man's kind concern. It was a beautiful morning and I took a deep breath, noticing a nearby spider's web, glistening with the mornings dew, and a perfect creamy pink nautilus shell lying in the grass. I plucked up the shell and put it in my pocket, a reminder of the great things I knew were coming for you during the day.

Once we got back home, you asked to be checked again. And I watched as your husband lovingly eased you back against the pillows of your bed. You relaxed into his touch and he leaned forward to nuzzle your neck and whisper something to you that only you could hear. You smiled gently and he checked your dilation. You were 3-4cm and thinning beautifully, turning anterior. Your baby was still bobbing high.

At this point, you decided to go for a swim in the pool. So we three donned bathing suites and stepped out into the early morning sunshine. It was barely peeking over the tree line and the sight was serene and joyful. As you frog swam from end to end, I and your husband would alternate pressing on your hips during birthing waves. You smiled, you cried and I knew your heart was coming in line with your cervix perfectly.

You quickly became chilled, though, and wanted to warm up in a bath inside. At this point, you had around 2-3 minutes between contractions that would last about 45 seconds. I hoped that the bath would warm you to relax enough that they would space slightly and become longer.

As I got out of my wet suit and into dry clothes, I heard you and your husband snuggling in the tub. I walked by to see you in an embrace, your eyes closed, a slightly smile on your lips, and his hands gently caressing your belly. The air literally shimmered with the love in that room.

I busied myself around the house, giving you two time alone, but soon heard the water draining. Your husband emerged from the bathroom to announce that you had 'become a cavewoman', shutting yourself in your closet.

A good sign.

I joined you in your closet to see you sitting on a towel, sun-kissed and belly-ripe. I sat nearby, and we talked about how you were feeling. They were more intense, sharper, and taking your breath away. You wanted close, and dark, and quiet. You were moving through your birthing time perfectly.

Your husband served us espresso and quinoa and beet salad in the closet, and there the three of us had brunch while you decided what you wanted to do next.

Once more, you wanted to be checked. Your towel was showing crimson streaks and we knew you were making progress. Once more your husband nuzzled you lovingly and gently checked your cervix. Baby was low, you were a good stretchy 4, and nearly completely thinned out. You were ready to head into the hospital.

While your husband started the car and brought your bags out, I helped you to get ready. We talked in gentle, quiet tones. I knew your heart was speaking to you. At one point, your tears fell freely and I asked what was going on inside.

This is the last time we leave the house as two...

Your heart mourned and delighted, simultaneously, that you were moving beyond lovers into lovers and parents. I promised that, when your husband came in for you, I would go to my car and wait.

When he returned to gather you for the car, I left the two of you sitting on your stairs, talking in hushed tones, holding one another.

Shortly after, you made your way to your car and we drove together to the hospital. It took awhile to get situated in your room, but, when you were comfortable, the nurse found you to be 4-5 and 90%.

You were happy, and you were tired. As we continued to work through your labor in the hospital setting, you both worked together to regain the intimacy felt at your home. You used the ball, walked the room, and sat on the toilet. Your labor quickly picked up again, and this time it was pressing down with a strong purpose.

You knew, prior to starting your labor, that you would want the epidural at some point. You were beginning to wonder if you would need it soon. Your contractions were coming every 2-3 minutes and were lasting a minute each.

We talked about when you might not want it. In the end, you chose to be checked and, if you were in transition or greater than 7cm, you were going to forgo the epidural. You were a stretchy 6-7cm and completely thinned out, and you wanted to rest.

The anesthesiologist worked quickly and soon you were resting in bed. Your husband turned on some light jazz music and I recommended you try to get a little sleep as I didn't think you would be laboring very long.

Although you tried to sleep, you were too excited and, instead, you laid on your side and we chatted. As we noticed your contractions were spacing out, and we knew you were hoping to birth with your own hormones, I gave you a foot massage, working on pressure points to stimulate your labor.

Like magic, they became closer together again, but with a triplet pattern beginning to emerge. In order to encourage baby not to move into a posterior position, you sat upright, hugging the ball, and ate a granola bar while grinning from ear to ear. Your labor pattern returned to normal and we enjoyed the music, smiled and laughed.

Your husband's friend came in to deliver pizza shortly afterward and we dined, while you reported some pressure in your bottom. The room was nice and dark, the mood was light, and you were moving your baby down.

When his friend left, we worked on another foot massage and you moved from side to side to help baby move down while also trying to even out a left-heavy epidural. The massage didn't seem to be picking up your again-slowly spacing contractions, so instead, you curled around your belly and began rubbing it, talking to your son, and singing to him.

Magic again! Your contractions came closer and your nurse announced you were 8-9cm. As the pressure became stronger, your doctor came in to talk with you. Your husband expressed interest in catching your son and so he gowned up in preparation.

Soon you were feeling enough pressure to push, and we got the squat bar in place for you. You brought yourself up into a modified squat and began bringing your son down in earnest. As the room gathered your doctor, nurse, and nursery nurse, you alternated between a modified squat with the squat bar and the classic position.

Your husband provided you with counterpressure and perineal massage, and soon you were watching your son in the mirror as his head moved through your body and into view.

His head was born slowly and gently, and your husband made everyone laugh when he twisted his son's hair into two little horns. Once his head was out, he began the slow rotation to move his shoulders out. And, as he slipped from your body, you and your husband both let out an ecstatic yell!

Immediately, your husband threw his scrub-top off and drew your son against his own chest, skin-to-skin. You put your head back on the pillow and smiled lovingly at the sight! You were cleaned up, and soon holding your son against your own chest. As his cord stopped pulsing, your husband clamped and cut it, and you snuggled your son even closer to your heart.

After your husband helped you to deliver your placenta, your son went to the warmer to be weighed and measured. 8 lbs 11 oz, 21 inches long.

We cleaned you up, got you tucked into a clean bed, and immediately afterward, your son was back in your arms, where he latched onto your breast with gusto and began nursing in earnest. Your husband climbed into bed with the two of you and, as a family, you discovered one another.

32 hours after your birthing time began, I quietly made my exit, leaving a newly born family nestled in the love and safety of one anothers arms.

Plumtree Baby Review and Giveaway

2011-09-01T08:00:00.001-05:00

I contacted Julie and Michelle of Plumtree Baby when I saw a facebook blip about childbirth educational materials. Any doula or childbirth educator can attest that one of the most arduous parts of starting and maintaining a CB business is keeping up-to-date, educational, and relevant handouts and information for clients.

Most doulas will cover nutrition, exercise, comfort measures, the event of labor and birth, options during that time, and postpartum. This can mean weeks and weeks of compiling resources and designing handouts and worksheets for client use. In their own words, Julie and Michelle share their inspiration:

We were inspired to create Plumtree Baby, LLC after many combined years of feeling frustrated by the lack of relevant and professional materials and resources available to us and our students/clients. We realized that we had spent hundreds of hours creating our own resources or piecing together materials from many different sources and that many other birth professionals were doing the same. This waste of time and energy, as well as the lack of a professional feel in most resources, lead us to dream about our ideal childbirth education products.

We realized that we could save ourselves and other birth professionals so much time, money and frustration by offering customizable, interactive, professional products for many of the topics that are of interest to expectant parents. Childbirth professionals could then pick and choose the most relevant products and use their time and energy in more productive ways.

Needless to say, their Facebook blip piqued my interest and I wanted to know more. Julie and Michelle sent me an Educator Set (+ Natural Childbirth Module) for review, and a second Educator Set to giveaway to one lucky reader (little happy dance).

ABOUT PLUMTREE
Plumtree Baby was created by Michelle Kettleborough, CLD (CAPPA) and Julie Olson LCCE CD (DONA) in an effort to provide resources and lend support to those who work in the birth profession, particularly childbirth educators, doulas and medical professionals.

Plumtree Baby provides childbirth professionals with educational and marketing materials to help them attract clients, save time and money, and to build profitable businesses.

In order to do this, they have created customizable, up-to-date, comprehensive educational resources and tools, including modules for topics related to pregnancy, birth and the postpartum period, visual aids for the classroom or office setting and interactive resources to stimulate learning.

MY REVIEW
I loved the modules. I felt they were a great spring board for conversation, personal interaction, and customizable prenatal education. I felt the information offered was presented in a non-biased, open-ended manner, allowing for my clients and I to discuss personal preferences, prescribe further research and reading, and deviate as needed to ensure complete understanding and informed choice/refusal.

The modules are presented in full-page three-ring punched booklets. This allows for easy assembly and presentation to clients in a three ring binder, while also allowing for me to include my own additional information and worksheets, if needed.

The books are full-color, with lots of photographs and some worksheets and questionnaires to help families work through their personal preferences regarding the information being shared.

I loved the layout, the ease of use, and the versatility of the PlumTree Baby modules and will definitely be spreading the word about these products.

My favorite modules would have to be Finding Comfort and Natural Childbirth. My second-favorite modules would have to be Prenatal Wellness and Following the Birth. By the way, if you are interested in getting a preview of the modules before you commit to purchasing them, they offer that as well!

Additionally, Plumtree Baby has free downloadable/printable resources for birth professionals to be able to tailor for their individual clients needs, an E-Resource called Engaging Parents, which allows professionals to evaluate their teaching style, and a not-yet-released Childbirth Curriculum, a complete and comprehensive course for those interested in teaching the whole gamut of information.

THE GIVEAWAY
I am so happy to be able to offer an Educator Set to one lucky winner! But, just like every giveaway, there are rules for entering. This giveaway is intended for those in the continental U.S. only (sorry my international readers).

EACH ENTRY MUST BE SUBMITTED IN A SEPARATE COMMENT. Otherwise, you will only get credit for the one comment that you supply. You must do #1 for your initial entry, then feel free to do whichever/however many additional entries as you wish beyond the first.

Go to PlumTree Baby on Facebook, like them, and thank them on their wall for donating for Bellies and Babies Giveaway. Then go to their website, check out their products, and come back here and comment, letting me know what module you are most interested in for your first entry.
Go to Sage Beginnings Doula Services, like me, and come back here/comment letting me know you did.
Blog or Facebook about this giveaway, tagging/linking both Plumtree Baby and Sage Beginnings, with a link back to this giveaway. Then come back here/comment letting me know you did with a link to it.
Follow Bellies and Babies, then comment, letting me know you are a follower (stalker!).

A winner will be drawn on Sept 15th and the winner will be announced that weekend. The winner will have until Sept 21st to contact me, otherwise I will choose a second winner. Good luck!

*Disclaimer: Plumtree Baby provided this product for my review/giveaway at no cost.

One World Birth

2011-08-30T15:24:00.000-05:00

If you haven't been let in the loop about this awesome project, it's time you knew about it. One World Birth will be celebrating its launch by Facebook on Sept 1st. Will you be 'there'?

Failure to Progress... part two

2011-08-26T09:13:00.000-05:00

Failure to Progress... Such an obtuse, erroneous, and deceptive term when used in conjunction with a woman's labor.

Let's take the term one word at a time.

Failure - omission of occurrence or performance; a failing to perform a duty or expected action; a state of inability to perform a normal function; a fracturing or giving way under stress; lack of success; a falling short : deficiency : deterioration, decay; one that has failed - Merriam-Webster Dictionary

to - used as a function word to indicate the result of an action or a process - Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Progress - to move forward : proceed; to develop to a higher, better, or more advanced stage; gradual betterment - Merriam-Webster Dictionary

So, failure to progress means 'an inability to, lacking of, falling short of, or otherwise deterioration of'... 'a forward movement, a higher better or more advanced stage; a gradual betterment'.

Hmmm....

With all due respect (and some amount of lack thereof), I would have to deem that the American Congress of Obstetrics and Gynecologists have failed to progress.

The ACOG's failure to progress has resulted in their recent very courageous admission that only 1/3 of their clinical guidelines are evidence-based practices. This means that the majority of obstetrical practices and recommendations for pregnant and birthing women is based on opinion and inconsistency.

I say courageous because it takes a lot of ovaries to admit:

Our findings highlight the difficulties in developing high-quality clinical guidelines. Although guidelines do not equate with standard of care and cannot replace clinical judgment, the College's recommendations clearly strongly influence the practice of obstetrics and gynecology ... clinicians must remain mindful of the limitations of guidelines. There is an urgent need to continue to conduct high-quality research in obstetrics and gynecology and to provide the funding to undertake such research.

Here is a short list of some of the practices that are based on limited or inconsistent evidence or are purely based on consensus and opinion (i.e. not evidence based practices):

Routine IVs/Heplocks
Continuous Fetal Monitoring
Erythromycin for all newborns
Routine cervical exams before labor
Routine cervical exams throughout labor
Routine administration of pitocin (augmentation or postpartum)
Coached pushing
Time constraints on labor
Time constraints on pushing
VBAC bans
Routine Induction after 42 weeks
Accepting 40 weeks as 'due' or 'term'
Late-term ultrasound for gestational accuracy and fetal weight
Elective cesarean
Elective induction
Non Per Oris
AROM
Calling homebirth risky
Newborn circumcision
Automatic Cesarean for breech presentation
Induction for (full term (37-42 weeks), big baby, low or high amniotic fluid, etc... etc...)
Lithotomy position for 2nd stage
Cervical ripening by Cytotec /Misoprostol
Restrictive or Required Weight Gain
Premature Clamping and Cutting of the Umbilical Cord

This is not to poo-poo on the ACOG; this is a reminder to women that, again, you are responsible for your healthcare.

"Many women... carry fear of being responsible for their own healthcare and the healths of their unborn children, so they relinquish that responsibility to doctors and hospitals, blindly trusting that those doctors have their best interests in mind. They fail to take into account, or choose to ignore, that the vast majority of obstetrical practices are not founded on infallibility, on evidence-based practices, or are without the personal ambitions, impatience, bias', and sometimes even greed of the individual hospital or care provider." - Fear

Be sure to hire a midwife or doctor who you trust to give you honest information regarding those options and recommendations which are rooted in evidence/science, those that have limited or inconsistent evidence, and those practices which are purely their opinion.

Further Reading:
Talk It Out
Tricky Research
If We Can't Make it Illegal
Profit of Pain Relief
Birth Partners
Quick History of Medication
GBS
US Childbearing Healthcare Crisis
The First Cut is The...
VBAmC
The length of uncomplicated human gestation
Perinatal Pitocin as an early ADHD biomarker

Failure to Progress... part one

2011-08-23T18:00:00.002-05:00

Failure to Progress... a blanket diagnosis used in obstetrics to declare a woman unfit to deliver without a cesarean. Medically, the definition is:

"no fetal descent or cervical change (with adequate contractions) for more than 2 hours."

eh? (insert quizzical expression). Any person who has spent any amount of time with women experiencing normal, physiological labor can attest to the fact that women can take anywhere from 4 hours of labor, to many days of labor (I'm talking, like 56 hours or more), and still achieve safe, healthy, vaginal birth without complications or interventions. In fact, the average first time mom will experience 18 hours of labor. This means that any number of hours on either side can be seen as normal and natural.

I hate that term. I can say hate, can't I? Talk about putting all the blame on the woman's shoulders (or cervix and uterus)! The part that irks me most about this is that the label of FTP rarely is truly the uterus, cervix, or babies 'failure'.

There are a large number of reasons, other than failure to progress, as to why a woman might not dilate by the book.

One of the biggest reasons for a woman's inability to dilate or move baby down further within the allotted time could simply be because she didn't read the book, and thus her body didn't know the 'rules'. Another way of saying this is to consider that our bodies don't follow Friedman's Curve because we are not medical textbooks, but organic beings that, because of variations in babies and bodies, we might need different amounts of time to accomplish the work of labor.

"Women today are held to a half-century-old labor standard called the Friedman curve, one of the first things obstetrics students learn in their training.

Emanuel Friedman wasn't yet 30 when he plotted the eponymous scale in 1953, during his residency training in obstetrics and gynecology in New York. Friedman found that, on average, it took 2½ hours for the cervix to dilate from 4 to 10 centimeters.

"In the last 50 years, the Friedman curve pretty much dictated obstetric practice, at least in the United States," says Jun Zhang, an epidemiologist at the National Institute for Child Health and Human Development.

Several reports suggest that many cesareans performed for dystocia might be unnecessary. When labor appears to be stalled, doctors -- as well as patients -- often give up too quickly and move on to a C-section.

For example, a study of deliveries at 30 Los Angeles and Iowa hospitals found that about one-quarter of women who had cesareans for lack of progress were only in the very first phase of labor, called the latent phase, when the procedure was performed. Some hadn't begun to dilate.

That doesn't square with the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists' definition of dystocia: no dilation of the cervix and no descent of the baby for at least two hours during active labor.

Maybe, the Los Angeles and Iowa researchers suggest, doctors have become so comfortable performing C-sections that they've relaxed their definition of lack of progress in labor." - FTP

In other words, we should be more patient.

Variations that can influence a woman's dilation and babies descent beyond simple patience include:

mom's energy level - if she has not been eating or drinking, she may be dehydrated and have no energy to work the uterine muscle. If mom eats a high energy snack, drinks some fluids, and rests, she might start dilating and bringing baby down after she recoups her energy.
babies/mom's position - a baby in a posterior, asynclitic, or breech position might take longer to dilate mom's cervix and move down. This is exacerbated by mom's position. If she is mostly laboring lying down or, heaven forbid, on her back, a baby cannot wiggle and move into the best position as easily as (s)he could if mom was upright and 'showing' baby the exit route and shape through movement and gravity.
mom's physical make-up - a woman who is less physically fit might need more time to allow her body to dilate as her body might not be as physically efficient at muscular contractions and endurance as someone more physically fit. Additionally, women all have different pelvic shapes. Some shapes might require more time for baby to move through. If there are ligament or muscular torsions, or spinal subluxations, again, her body might need more time to fully open and move baby down.
mom's emotional state - if a woman is fearful or anxious, she might simply be holding her baby in because of the presence of adrenaline. This is common when a woman moves from her home (laboring) to her place of birth (hospital or birth center) because she needs time and privacy to get re-acclimated to the work of labor and birth. Labor also has a way of bringing up other issues and concerns... so it might mean mom needs to talk about any fears vs faith that she has running through her heart and mind. Additionally, this is another reason why choosing your birth team wisely is so important.
induction - when a woman's body or baby is not ready for labor but is being forced into the event, it might take longer for her body and baby to make the journey. This preemptive decision may, truly lead to failure to progress (and cesarean) if the mother and baby are truly not ready to birth. This is why it is so important to truly weigh the benefits and risks before agreeing to a routine induction based on 'post-dates'.
Other - I liken this to the very strong prevalence of iatrogenic complications indicating failure to progress. This can include induction (see above), hospital policy requiring mom to stay immobile on the bed during routine monitoring, medications used during birth which require mom to stay in bed, AROM, and others.

All in all, there are very few times in which a woman truly 'fails' to progress. All of the above can be remedied by patience and knowledge of the human body and personal needs of the laboring woman and baby. Autonomy and patience. Seems simple, right?

If she goes into spontaneous labor, remains upright and mobile, hydrated and nourished, has a supportive and loving birth team protecting her emotional and physical self, and she is educated and confident in the process of labor and birth, her odds of 'failing' to progress are greatly diminished.

Up next in part two is a totally different twist on the term "Failure to Progress"...

Some Related Additional Reading:
A nifty pdf about FTP
Risk Factors, a medical paper

Interviews, aka Getting to the Heart of the Matter

2011-08-22T10:59:00.005-05:00

I have often been asked what questions you would typically ask at a doula interview. There are a great number of sites available that have detailed lists but, in my humble opinion, too often they don't get to the heart of the matter.

For that reason, I decided to compile a list of my own interview questions.These are not, per sae, questions that I have been asked, but rather, some I have been asked and some I wish I were asked.

Tell me why you became a doula?
This will give you insight into her, personally. This will also give you a good indication of her emotional health going into births.

What is your personal philosophy about pregnancy, labor and birth?
You may uncover some of that in the prior question, but this will also give you a passionate look into her personality and attitudes surrounding the birth event.

What is your personal definition of a doula and her role?
This is a good one. The Greek term is so generic, it misses the point of the heart and depth behind what a doula truly is. We are more than labor support professionals, more than women's servants.

Have you received training as a doula?
I prefer this question to 'are you certified' because there are many doulas who have extensive experience, chose to decertify, or are beyond certification in their practices that may miss out on clientele simply because the question is phrased wrong. Likewise, there are some doulas who get a 'free ride' on their certification, but could really use a little more experience... and even others who are newly certified, but are very competent and experienced.

Have you taken any additional training/education?
Some doulas have taken massage therapy classes, homeopathy, counseling, trauma assessment, IBCLC, CPR/AED, Midwifery assistant/apprenticeship, childbirth education, personal training, nutritional counseling, or other pertinent training that might be helpful.

Can you give me an example of a more challenging birth, why it was challenging, and how you worked within that atmosphere/challenge?

This will give the doula you are interviewing a chance to both give you examples of her work, how she handles adversity, and a chance to showcase her experience.

Can you give me an example of a blissful/beautiful birth and why it was blissful/beautiful?
This will give the doula you are interviewing a chance to both give you examples of her work, a happy birth story, and also give you, the mother, some ideas of what you might want to incorporate into your birthing time.

Do you have references?
2-3 past clients and 1-2 professional (peer) references are ideal.

Can you give me an example of what your services include (phone, email, prenatals, postpartum, etc..)?
This should include information on information/accessibility prior to your prenatal visits, what is covered in your prenatals, when you will have her at your birth, how long she stays afterward, and what postpartum services she offers. Additionally, this should include 'other' services she offers to you as a doula.

Do you have back up?
This one is important. Many doulas work independent of other doulas. Cooperation/back-up with at least one other doula is ideal as this ensures that, if she is unavailable for any reason (emergency, illness, etc...) you will still have birth support. There should also be a way for you to be able to meet with them.

What is the most important tool you bring to women/a birth?
This will vary by doula. It helps you to know their philosophy and strengths.

Likewise, this is the basic information that the doula you are interviewing would like to know in order to know if she would be a good fit for you:

What is your estimate due date (EDD)?
Where are you planning on giving birth and who is your care provider?
Do you have any other children and, if so, what was their birth(s) like?
What are your hopes for your birthing time? (medicated, unmedicated, etc..)

I hope that my doula interview questions have helped give you some ideas for your interviews. If you have any other suggestions or thoughts, I would love to hear them!

Breech Options

2011-08-15T10:03:00.004-05:00

In the last 2 months, I have assisted 3 moms with breech babies. I don't know if it is the weather, the season, the heavens... I have no idea.

I can tell you, though, that there are four breech presentations: footling, kneeling, frank, and complete.

There are also many reasons why a baby might be breech: emotional reasons, short cords, bicornate uteri or other anatomical shape of the womb, maternal ligament or muscular torsion, maternal skeletal subluxations, placental placement, maternal abdominal muscle tone, amniotic fluid levels, or maternal family history all can play a role. (for more information see here).

I can also tell you that it has given me a lot of time to consider options for women who have breech babies and all the ways we can try to help women know their options.

From about the mid-70's until recently, it used to be no questions asked, breech birth meant cesarean. In the past few months, though, numerous doctors have been questioning this knee-jerk reaction and Canada has published new guidelines for breech birth, as well as has been promoting and producing numerous breech workshops throughout Canada to raise awareness and training for vaginal breech birth.

For the vast majority of U.S. women planning a hospital birth, when they hear the news that they are carrying a breech baby, their doctor or hospital-based midwife will schedule a breech cesarean between 37-39 weeks. There are other options though.

Concisely, here are your choices:

To have a planned cesarean for breechness
Working to change babies position from breech to head down (vertex).
To change providers to one who will deliver breech babies vaginally
To wait to go into spontaneous labor before checking to see if baby is still breech and then opting for a cesarean.
Or a combination of any of these (i.e. work to change babies position from breech to vertex for the last few weeks for pregnancy... but ultimately wait for labor to start on it's own before reassessing babies position and then, if baby is still breech, opt for cesarean).

Elective Cesarean
My readers have heard me harp on them enough to know that I am never a supporter of elective cesarean ( = without medical justification), so I will let someone else do the harping for a change.

"The Coalition for Improving Maternity Services (CIMS) is concerned about the dramatic increase and ongoing overuse of cesarean section. Since 1983, one in five women or more has given birth by this major abdominal surgery. Today, one in four or 25% of women have a cesarean for the birth of their baby. The rate for first-time mothers may approach one in three. Studies show that the cesarean rate could safely be halved.

The World Health Organization recommends no more than a 15% cesarean rate. With a million women having cesarean sections every year, this means that 400,000 to 500,000 of them were unnecessary. No evidence supports the idea that cesareans are as safe as vaginal birth for mother or baby. In fact, the increase in cesarean births risks the health and well being of childbearing women and their babies." - For more information read here.

This is why I am writing this post. I want women to know their options so that they can be sure that they are in agreement with the majority of American doctors that believe a breech presentation is medical justification for a cesarean. And, if they are not in agreement with them, I want women to know what other options that they have.

Trying to Change Babies Position

The exercises herein outline the least to most aggressive means for encouraging baby to change his/her position to head-down. Easy examples of these types of exercises can range from daily habits (i.e. if mom has low amniotic fluid, drink more, if mom has postural issues, adjust accordingly) to specific methods and practices (chiropractic, manual movement, acupuncture).

Emotional State - The first thing that I touch on when a woman tells me she is carrying a breech baby is her emotional and mental state. The least aggressive means of encouraging baby to turn are emotional/and mental relaxation. Many midwives swear that a large number of babies that are carried breech are in that position for emotional or mental disquiet.

These can include:

the mom-to-be fearing becoming a mother
the mom-to-be and her mother having unresolved conflict
the mom-to-be not wanting to 'give up' carrying her baby

When a woman is not sure if this might be the reason for her baby's position, I encourage her to spend some time mother-centered journaling. This means that mom would set apart a time where she will not be interrupted to write. She should have water on hand, have recently emptied her bladder, have a few sheets of fresh paper, and a pen. During her journaling, she can ask herself to be honest about her feelings toward her mother, being a mother, and not being pregnant anymore. Then, during her writing time, she will write without pause - freely allowing her words to come from her mind and heart to her pen, no grammatical corrections and no crossing out.

After completing the exercise, she can talk with her midwife, doula, close friend, sister, or partner/spouse to find out how to resolve anything that might have come up during her writing time. Additionally, she can pray, meditate, visualize, and ask baby to turn.

I have watched women get into a warm tub of water in a dark bathroom with nothing but candlelight and, while touching/rubbing their bellies, listening to their bodies, and talking to baby, seen their babies turn vertex.

Beyond emotional and physical relaxation, the most common ways to change babies presentation from breech to vertex is to try positional exercises.

Inversions - the key to inversions are to do them as long as comfortable. These can include table inversions, knee-chest positions, water inversions, or dumping.

Table inversions are just what they sound like, inversions on a table-like surface. Some midwives will combine inversion tables with other methods of working to turn baby's position. This can be done at home on a piece of plywood or ironing board, or on an actual inversion table.

Example of knee-chest position (and moxibustion)

Water Inversion

Two examples of dumping

Rebozos - Rebozos give almost any position an added 'umph' by encouraging baby through demonstration of how to wiggle or jiggle into a head-down position. There are two rebozo breech moves in particular. One is a knee-chest combined with ribozo to put pressure on baby's head and encourage them to move. (see picture to the right).

The second is a breech sifting. Follow the position in the picture to the left. Then, with the 'rebozo' in place, have a partner/friend 'sift' your baby. The basic movement is more like a rhythmic step than a swing. You are not swinging the mothers hips from side to side. Instead you are slightly pulling one end of the rebozo, then the other, back and forth rather quickly. This basic movement should be relaxing to mom. This causes a jerk to the baby which encourages movement to the desired position.

Now, if you make it here without any of the above working, continue to try the positional exercises in conjunction with the methods below as they will increase the odds of one of them working (i.e., try dumping right before the Webster).

Yoga - yoga is body work and, since we are trying to encourage baby's body to move, it makes sense that yoga works well for this purpose. A guest blogger wrote a wonderful article on yoga and how it can help when baby is breech here. Specifically, I love the last picture in that post.

Acupuncture/Moxibustion - You can see an example of moxibustion in the video referenced earlier in this post. This acupuncture technique involves burning moxa sticks over a certain acupressure point on your little toe every day for 10 days. Alternately, this can be done with a fingernail head of a ballpoint pen on that same point on the little toe (BL67). Some report success rates as high as 80%, while others report success as low as 50%.

Chiropractic Care - There is a chiropractic treatment called the Webster Technique which encourages the mother’s pelvis to become straight and aligned. This would decrease the chance that mom's skeletal alignment 'holds' baby in a breech position. It is very gentle and noninvasive. The success rate for this technique is shown to be anywhere from 75-95%. Additionally, there are other techniques with great success including Bagnell's Technique, Malott's Technique, and others.

Homeopathics - There are some homeopathics, including Pulsatilla and Arnica, that have been shown to encourage a baby to turn head down. These are best used in conjunction with other methods of turning baby vertex. As I am not a licensed homeopath, I encourage you to contact a local herbalist, homeopath, or midwife in your area for more information on their uses, dosages, risks, and contraindications.

External Cephalic Version (ECV) - An ECV involves a care provider physically manipulating baby through the mother's abdomen to encourage baby to flip head-down.

Some doctors 'require' that mom have an epidural in place or other relaxation medication (such as morphine or stadol/nubaine/demerol), and most will 'require' that, immediately after the ECV, mom will either be induced (if baby goes head down) or be given a cesarean (if it is not successful). I say 'require' because you can always refuse. An example can be seen here:

Vaginal Breech Birth
There are certain criteria when considering a vaginal breech birth. The very biggest being making sure that your birth team has experience with vaginal breech birth. Additionally, reducing risk for breech vaginal birth includes candidates who meet the following:

Attempts to turn the breech baby to a head down position were unsuccessful, or not chosen.
The baby was estimated to be heavier than 5lb 8oz and lighter than 8lb 13 oz.
The baby was in a frank breech (baby's legs extended up with their feet near their ears) or a complete (or flexed) breech position, ie. baby's legs down, and crossed over. This decreased the chances of complications, such as cord prolapse. Positions are explained in depth in types of breech positions.
The caregiver was experienced in delivering breech babies vaginally.
The woman was keen to have a vaginal birth.
The woman's pelvis is believed to be an adequate size. - Birth.com

Other protocols and guidelines can be read about on Spinning Babies, Birth Light,and the SOGC.

Let Baby Decide
Some women, for whatever their reasons might be, choose not to change providers to one familiar with breech birth. For these women, a good option might be to wait and let baby decide. This simply means that, rather than scheduling an automatic cesarean at 37-39 weeks for breechness, waiting until labor begins on it's own.

At that point, mom can work through early labor, and then, during active labor, reassess baby's position. If baby is still breech, the care provider would go ahead with the cesarean and, if baby has moved into a vertex position, mom can go ahead with labor and birth vaginally.

In Conclusion:
If you happen to be one of the women who get the news that their baby is sitting breech in the womb, know that you do have more options than a scheduled cesarean. Also know that there are women in your area who will love and support you through every option that you have.

If you are specifically in the Houston area and need information on breech-friendly doctors and midwives, just give me a call. I also have a list of midwives and doctors who will do ECV as out-patient (without requiring immediate cesarean or induction afterward), chiropractors familiar with Webster and other breech-turning chiropractic techniques, acupuncturists, and more.

And finally, for encouragement:

Further Reading:
Head's Up
Breech Birth Statistics
Spinning Babies
A Breech in the System
Stand and Deliver: Dance of the Breech

Baby 101 - Winners!

2011-08-09T10:37:00.000-05:00

Alright readers! Here are the two winners for the Baby 101 DVD Giveaway!

B.A.S.I.L!!!

Lisa!!

Congratulations ladies! I look forward to hearing from you so that I can get these in the mail to you!

Cut

2011-08-08T19:19:00.011-05:00

This is a topic that raises strong emotions on both ends of the spectrum. In fact, this topic has been known to divide households, spouses/partners, and long-term friendships. But, the fact remains, this topic needs to be discussed more.

There is a newer movie out called "Cut", and I highly recommend taking an hour to watch it. It is one of the best I have seen.

There is also a great article that I just came upon called When Intact, Don't Retract... what a great catchy line, and what great information it gives on the intact male and how to care for intact babies.

For my clients, if, after watching the movie above, you have additional questions, I am more than happy to share our journey through this subject, answer your questions as well as possible, and will lend out additional resources (articles, studies, and videos) to help you make a more informed choice.

For further reading:
NOCIRC
Intact America
NOHARMM
CIRP
CRC
History of Circumcision
Peaceful Parenting Posts on Circumcision

Memoirs of a Singing Birth is Now In Print!

2011-08-07T09:43:00.000-05:00

I originally reviewed Elena's book here. I'll let the original review speak for itself, but I highly encourage birth activists and mamas to have this beautiful book on their book shelves!

To see more information on it go here.

Fear

2011-08-05T12:00:00.000-05:00

A woman is like a tea bag- you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

I find a disturbing and insightful pattern emerging from our culture. I have known about it, worked with women through it, and in every interaction, class, and workshop, attempted to dispel it... FEAR.

Fear is a huge part of our culture. We are so afraid to feel emotional or physical discomfort that we remove ourselves from it, sometimes before it even begins, medicating it or simply refusing to acknowledge, or greet, these sensations. Fear of the flu, fear of pain, fear of relationship hurt, fear of confrontation...

FEAR: a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

When it comes to pregnancy and the birthing event, women of Western culture are just as fearful, if not more so. I have seen women stare in disbelief, shaking their heads, even becoming physical squeamish over the sight of a woman giving birth, and yet, they don't have the same reaction to watching a baby be surgically removed from the abdomen.

Many women even carry fear of being responsible for their own healthcare and the healths of their unborn children, so they relinquish that responsibility to doctors and hospitals, blindly trusting that those doctors have their best interests in mind. They fail to take into account, or choose to ignore, that the vast majority of obstetrical practices are not founded on infallibility, on evidence-based practices, or are without the personal ambitions, impatience, bias', and sometimes even greed of the individual hospital or care provider.

It's not what you call me, but what I answer to. ~ African proverb

Women have been taught, through our cultures unbalanced mix of over-sexualizing the female body and disempowering the event, to the point of sciolism, to not trust their bodies, the sensations that it brings, and to even fear that the event itself is routinely dangerous and life-threatening, or in the very least, horrendous and unimaginable.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate - our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. ~ Marianne Williamson

For women to understand that the process, that the sensations, and that the uncontrollably powerful experience is not something to be feared, we must first reconnect women with their bodies. This can be accomplished best by placing women in a right-brained, left-bodied, creative, emotional, feminine, and physical space in which women can move freely.

If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we are not really living. Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. ~ Gail Sheehy

Oftentimes, when I begin working with women, they are inhibited from moving their bodies, speaking their minds, or allowing their emotions to surface. Some women are afraid to sing, to dance, to cry, to get angry, or to make noise. The most rudimentary lessons I teach is "uninhibited woman". Ina May Gaskin calls it our "inner monkey".

To find our "uninhibited woman", we must get rid of inhibitions. Some of these are rooted in lack of use or cultural/social conditioning... these are more easily shed.

www.caryyork.com

But most of these are rooted in fear and physical conditioning.

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~ Anais Nin

To want to face these fears, a woman must see the physical and emotional freedom that we offer. The best way to do this is to give loving encouragement and positive birth stories that show women making courageous decisions and having powerful births. This incites desire. Most women seek a doula, midwife, or childbirth educator with desire already in hand.

Once she has desire, in order to face these fears, women must find courage.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. ~ Nelson Mandela

Around 1/3 of women have been so engrained into this belief that their bodies and their power, their strength and their intuition are so broken and inadequate that they have been given primary cesareans. So we, as birth educators are not only battling against powers and principalities, but misinformations that have taken on the guise of truth and flesh.

Other women have been so engrained into this belief that their bodies and their power, their strength and their intuition are so broken and inadequate that they literally flee, either physically, emotionally, or conversationally, from situations that might challenge them to confront those fears.

And still other women will react with distain or outright anger at the possibility that their overt hostile reactions are actually secondary reactions to a deeper emotion - fear.

Courage is like a muscle. We strengthen it with use. ~ Ruth Gordon

I employ the use of Yoga Nidra sessions with my clients. We walk through the progressive mental and physical relaxation that allows them to become aware of heartfelt desires, engrained or intuitive beliefs, and intentions of their bodies and birthing times.

You must learn to be still in the midst of activity and to be vibrantly alive in repose. ~ Indira Ghandi

This breaks down the levels of constraints that our physical and social/communal lives put on us on a day to day basis and allows us to tap into our true emotional, physical and mental self.

I employ voice with my clients. I encourage them to write, journal, speak, yell, yop, hum, and growl. I encourage them to speak "I feel", "I want", "I fear", "I know" on a daily basis. When they can look at their words, when they can feel them in their throats and on their tongues, and when they can hear their own words outside of their heads, they can begin to strip away those things that are relative and those things which are subjective.

I employ movement with my clients. Allowing and encouraging women to dance, with abandon, reconnects them to their bodies and their babies. Teaching women to hone in on their cores, to find those 'tight spots' in their bodies, will give them insight into what is binding them emotionally and mentally. Demonstrating to women the practice of moving and dancing with others teaches them the power that they have even in the midst of disempowering situations.

Darkness can not drive out darkness only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate only love can do that. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

And finally, I teach the women that I work with about their choices, and always in love. I have the choice of presenting them the information in a non-confrontational, non-judgmental way, sharing a balanced view of the benefits and risks of each option, or I can provide them with the same information in a fearful, judgmental way. The latter does not allow for their truest, deepest self to make the choice for them, because it is tainted.

There are two kinds of light - the glow that illumines, and the glare that obscures. ~ James Thurber

I choose to always give light that illuminates the dark, not the harsh light that obscures personal truths for personal journeys.

Fear grows in darkness; if you think there's a bogeyman around, turn on the light. ~ Dorothy Thompson

Loving education provides women with all of their options so that, when faced with choices, when fear rears its head during their pregnancy or birthing time, they have the tool with which to illuminate the situation: dispelling mistruths, personal ambitions, and fearful coercion.

We never know how high we are Till we are called to rise; And then, if we are true to plan, Our statures touch the skies. ~ Emily Dickinson

My deepest heartfelt desire is that every woman would not have my ideal birth, but that she would have the ideal birth for them. One which is free of fear, full of power, and helps her to positively grow into the capable mother, lover, and courageous woman that she truly is.

For more information, keep an eye out for Karen Brody's new childbirth curriculum, Fear to Freedom. This innovative program incorporates all of the educational components discussed herein and is now available in the Houston area through Sage Beginnings.

The Beauty of Homebirth

2011-08-01T16:16:00.000-05:00

It is hard to capture (on film) the gentleness and serene welcome that home birth offers. This video does a beautiful job of just that!

If you are in the Houston area and want recommendations for out-of-hospital birth options, feel free to contact me.

That's VAGINAL!

2011-07-30T12:02:00.000-05:00

This made me LOL and snicker... and then smile happily. My family thought I was off my rocker.

Seriously though! I have been recently working with many women about the disconnectedness women feel about our bodies and our babies in Western culture. Our bodies abilities are thought to be dirty, shameful, so-private-you-blush-and-change-the-topic, and other such shunned things.

For further reading, consider my past rants:
Vagina Anyone?
VAGINA
Lady Parts

Organ-ic

2011-07-28T12:06:00.000-05:00

I have posted quite a few articles in the past about the benefits of placenta consumption. Some examples are:

The response is always the same, ½ of the comments are along the lines of ‘awesome, that is too cool’, while the other ½ of the comments are ‘eeew! That is sooo gross!’.

Some go as far as to say that placenta consumption is cannibalistic.

I call that a knee-jerk reaction. Why are people so concerned about consuming a part of a human body?! You might just think that this here doula has completely lost her mind, but let’s take a look at our own daily habits:

Do you chew your lip? Guess what, you are consuming your own skin cells
Are you one of those that suck or chew on their hair? Yup, you're eating your own body.
Do you kiss your spouse or partner? Guess what? You are consuming their cells
Do you chew your cuticles? You are biting off hunks of your own skin tissue
Do you kiss your children’s hands, faces, or lips? You are ingesting their tissue
I won't even go into oral sex...

You get the point? Our bodies are continuously sloughing off cells into our immediate environment. We are all considered cannibals if you follow this line of thought, and we are all guilty of consuming ‘gross’ things.

Let’s take it a step further; consumption does not only occur through the mouth/digestive tract. We consume many things through our skin.

If you put lotion on, your skin will absorb the nutrients, toxins, and other ingredients to be integrated into your cells and, as such, your blood stream. The same goes for cosmetics, washes and soaps, and shampoos and conditioners.

So, what does this have to do with the placenta? Many hair and skin products contain human, bovine, and ovine placenta. The ingredients would be listed as amino acids, Estrogen, or even outright placenta.

Yep, that’s right, many of you who are going ‘eew, that’s nasty to consume a human placenta in pill form or in whole form’ have no problem smearing it all over your face, body, and hair!

So, while you might gnaw on your cuticles, kiss your spouse, or coat your body in placenta, far be it from me to suggest consuming an organ that is rich in nutrients, hormones, and antioxidants, able to help your postpartum body heal, give you energy, and increase both your milk supply and milk content.

Rant over.

Baby 101 - Review and Giveaway

2011-07-21T13:45:00.000-05:00

I recently reviewed Shari Daniels' childbirth DVD course "Baby 101" and was given two copies to give away on my blog.

Baby 101 is a complete and comprehensive childbirth class on DVD that is produced by VideoArts Studios.

Shari Daniels is the modern day midwife of the Discovery Channel's series, House of Babies. Based on her program, she created Baby 101 as a way to educate families about healthy options for pregnancy, labor, birth, and beyond.

The DVD is broken down into 9 segments, including:

Course Introduction
Birthing Overview and History of Childbirth/Midwifery
Exercises for Pregnancy and Birth/Relaxation
Anatomy & Physiology
Diet & Nutrition
Birth Control
Complications
Breast Feeding
Baby Care

I absolutely love the fact that women can either pick and choose what information is pertinent and important to them and view those specific (avg.) 30 minute segments, or they can go through the full course (total 4 hours 42 minutes).

In the Birthing Overview segment, Shari talks about the history of birth, midwifery, and the importance of woman to woman care.

The Exercises segment includes information on pregnancy-specific and birthing-specific exercises, relaxation practices, and breathing. The only thing that I didn't like is the altered breathing section of this segment.

Anatomy and Physiology was fun and insightful, and an important step in prenatal education for women to understand their bodies and the functions of labor and birth.

The segment entitled Diet and Nutrition was also very fun and educational. It gives tangible concepts to expectant couples in order to help them make healthier food and beverage choices. In fact, my 11 year old loved this section more than any and did a complete overhaul of our pantry after this section - throwing out many of the children's favorite 'staples' that are less-than-healthy.

The Birth Control chapter is another that I had a difficult time with. The information is good, just incomplete, in my personal opinion. Shari does a great job outlining many of the options available, and giving their rates of success; but she does little in talking about the risks or contraindications.

The next segment, Complications, is very well done. Ms. Daniels does a great job talking about variations, complications, and interventions without causing anxiety in her participants/viewers. It is something that is not talked much about in childbirth classes. so I am happy to see her tackle this subject, and in such a well-thought way.

The next two sections, Breastfeeding and Baby Care, are done equally as well as the pregnancy and birth segments. She outlines positive breastfeeding positions, a good latch, positive baby care ideals, and more.

As a doula, I found Shari Daniels' educational DVD to be a great asset to my clients. I can use her DVD as a supplement to the education that I provide my clients in prenatals. She provides visually stimulating, educational, and easily applicable concepts that, I believe, every client can benefit from.

One of my mom's wants more information on breastfeeding? Wonderful! I have just the video for that. If one of my clients wants (or needs) more information on nutrition and diet, Baby 101 provides her with the information she needs, in a clear and comprehensive manner.

I find that I recommend at least one section from Shari's DVD to each of my clients, now. And I believe that other doulas and midwives would benefit equally from her information.

For this reason, I am happy to offer 2 copies of Baby 101 to 2 lucky doula/midwife readers (1 copy each).

Rules for Entering:
You must complete #1 to be entered into the drawing. After that, you can enter as many additional times as you would like, in a separate comment each time. PLEASE leave a way for me to get a hold of you. If you don't, I will redraw.

Entries will be closed on August 8th at 11:59pm PST. Drawing will occur on August 9th.

Share this drawing by Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, and/or some message board (mothering.com, justmommies, etc...) Then post a link to where you shared in a comment below. (up to 4 entries possible if you complete all 4 sharing options)
Share your business information, specialty (midwifery, doula, childbirth educator, etc...), and how you would use the DVD in your business below in a comment. (1 entry possible)
If you are a woman attempting to win this for your midwife, doula, or CBE, tell us about them and why they deserve this DVD. (1 entry possible)
Become a follower of my blog by Network Blogs and/or by Google. (2 entries possible if you do both) and then comment below telling me that you have.

Good luck to everyone!

Dilation - How To Check Without Checking

2011-07-13T11:38:00.005-05:00

Recently I have noticed a few blogs writing about dilation and it's benefits, as well as how to do it in other ways besides simple vaginal exams. This is my take on the subject, modified from the hand out that I have available for my clients.

Why Check?

One of the biggest repeat questions a doula/caregiver can hear during labor and birth is ‘how far along am I’. Some women would prefer not to know, some women could care less, and some women desire this knowledge almost habitually.

As with any intervention in labor and birth, cervical checks carry risk. The risks include: increased risk of infection, PROM, false readings (i.e. human error), and regret/disappointment at any 'lack' of dilation.

Regardless of women's reasons for wanting to know their dilation, it is helpful for a doula/care provider to have more than one trick/way of knowing where mom may be, beyond timing contractions.

Some methods that can help a caregiver or doula know how dilated a woman is during her labor include:

Teach self exams
Sounds she makes
Smell of the room/mom
Show
Emotions
The bottom line
Physical Make-Up
Fundal height
Symphysis Crease
Mexican Hot Legs
Pressure

Methods

All of these methods are generalities. It is important to remember that women are not textbooks, they are organic, living, evolving organisms that there are many exceptions to every rule. Each of these cannot be applied to all women.

Self Exams

I have found that the best explanation of self exams can be found from Gloria Lemay. It is a practically applicable explanation that gets good results.

“The best way to do it when hugely pregnant is to sit on the toilet with one foot on the floor and one up on the seat of the toilet. Put two fingers in and go back towards your bum. The cervix in a pregnant woman feels like your lips puckered up into a kiss. On a non-pregnant woman it feels like the end of your nose. When it is dilating, one finger slips into the middle of the cervix easily (just like you could slide a finger into your mouth
while puckering for a kiss). As the dilation progresses, the inside of that hole becomes more like a taut elastic band and by 5 cm dilated (5 finger widths) it is a perfect rubbery circle like one of those Mason jar rings that you use for canning, and about that thick.” - Gloria Lemay

Sounds of Birth
A non-vaginal indicator that can help to detect progress is notable sounds that a woman makes in labor.

Usually, early labor (0-4cm) means little to no 'birth' noise; mom can talk with little to some effort through a contraction.

Around 4-5cm dilation (for a primip) talk with be rather difficult to near impossible, noises may still be quiet, but consistently open voweled or a resonating hum.

5-7cm will typically be presented with louder noises, near to completely impossible to talk through a contraction, and sounds may become repetitive or staccato.

If a woman is a silent laborer, a good way to get a handle on her vocal indicators is to explain what you are about to do... then wait until a contraction starts, and ask a question that necessitates a sentence-long answer. The way in which she is able or unable to answer you during a contraction should be rather reliable.

Smell

Many birth professionals have spoken about the smell of birth.

Birth smells come about around 6-8cm dilation and are a very good indicator of good active labor. When a mom says that she wants to transfer to her place of birth around 6-8cm, I typically will go by smell and mom's emotions.

The active labor smell is not so much the earthy/wet smell of amniotic fluid, and is not the sweet smell on a woman’s breath during labor (ever notice a laboring mom’s breath always smells sweet?)..

Instead, this smell is deep, dusky (not musky), heavy, familiar... the smell of deep and ancient work. It is something that is hard to explain, but something to definitely be on the look (smell) out for until you have familiarized yourself with it and can use this as a good indicating factor of active labor.

Show
A woman may or may not ‘show’ any bloody or mucousy discharge at the onset of labor, but blood and mucous often come in copious amounts, usually during contractions, when a woman is around 6-8cm. If a woman’s water broke earlier in the labor, you may see a second gush around 6cm.

Emotions
Early labor (1-4cm, oftentimes) often means mom is in the "this is it" stage - happy, excitable, a good sense of humor, perhaps even denial that she is really in labor.

Moving into active labor (4-6cm, oftentimes) often means that mom is still smiley and may even laugh at little things being said between contractions. Moving in and out of conversation as her contractions go and come.

Active labor (5-7cm, oftentimes) generally means she is more irritated at commonplace conversation or people trying to distract her with quips. It may take her quite awhile after a contraction leaves to become 're-acclimated' to the room, or she may choose to simply remain in her birthing space and not interact with the room. (an aside, the room should be acclimating to her, although it is not always the case, unfortunately).

Around transition (usually, 7cmish) even between contractions, a woman can become doubtful, unable to make concrete decisions ("I don't know" in response to questions), or irrational, a good indicator that mom is on the homestretch.

This method can be tricky, though, as this ‘emotional mapping’ can be skewed from a babies position or a woman’s labor make-up.

If it is from baby settling in a ‘malpresentation’, a mom might experience both an early transition (anywhere from 2cm to 4cm dilation, depending on if she is a primip or multip) and a later transition.

Depending on her labor make-up, some women can have an ‘early transition’ (4-5cm), especially for long-latent early labor patterns with discomfort disproportionate to her cervical dilation, but it will often still mean rapid dilation to complete.

Bottom/Purple Line
A study conducted and published in the Lancet hypothesized that the purple line that 'grows' up the natal cleft can be a great indicator of cervical dilatation. The line begins at the anal margin at the start of labour and rises like a "mercury thermometer".

When it reaches the top, the woman is fully dilated. The authors propose that an "increase in intrapelvic pressure causes congestion in the ... veins around the sacrum, which, in conjunction with the lack of subcutaneous tissue over the sacrum, results in this line of red purple discoloration".

The best way to describe this is, looking at the anus, a purple line will appear and, throughout labor, move up the natal cleft (butt crack for us laypeople)
The picture shown at right is a fully dilated woman and her purple line.

Physical Make-Up
Many women will find that, as they get very close to the pushing stage, they may exhibit signs similar to the flu. If a mom suddenly feels the urge to vomit or complains of nausea, has a flushed face and feels warm, and/or begins trembling uncontrollably, mom may be at the cusp of second stage. Vomiting alone can be emotions, hormones, or fatigue alone. Flushed face is a good sign of 6-7cm, when noticed alone. And trembling uncontrollably, alone, might mean fatigue or fever. These indicators are most reliable when 2 or all 3 are noticed together.

Other physical indicators of 6cm and beyond:

involuntary curling of toes during contractions, even when the rest of her body is loose and relaxed (6-8cm)
if standing, instead of curling her toes, mom may stand on her toes while leaning over something (6-8cm)
goose bumps on her bottom (buttocks) and upper thighs (9-10cm)

Fundal Height
Anne Frye's Volume II of Holistic Midwifery speaks of the fundal height of being a very reliable indicator of mom's cervical dilation.

When the uterus contracts, it swells upwards and pulls the cervix upward with it, causing more dilation. Around 40 weeks, you can get around 5 finger-breadths of measurement between the fundus and the xyphoid.

As mom dilates, the distance from the xyphoid to the fundus decreases at a rate of about 2cm per fingerbreadths. This way of measuring is not as reliable in primips, but much more reliable in multips. When there is about 1 finger-width or less of space between the fundus and xiphoid, mom is near to at 10 cm dilation.

To do this, have mom (or partner) ‘mark’ her measurement at the first thought of labor. Taking into consideration her starting point (from prior VEs (Vaginal Exams)), use this as a start point.

Unfortunately, this assessment during labor must be done at the height of a contraction and mom must be on her back. Using the chart below, determine fingerbreadths (fb) between the fundus and xiphoid:

5 fb = no dilation
4 fb = 2 cm
3 fb = 4 cm
2 fb = 6 cm
1 fb = 8 cm
0 fm = complete

Symphysis Crease
Late dilation can be measured by watching the symphysis crease. It’s visible mostly in mom’s who have lower BMI prepregnancy. As labor progresses and babies shoulder's descend along with dilation, a line/crease will become visible directly above (parallel to) the symphysis. It will become wider latitudinally as labor progresses.

Around transition, it will be about 3/4 of the way across. If the line is nearly all the way across, mom is most likely pretty close to, or already fully, dilated and will probably start pushing soon.

To do this, check right above mom’s symphysis (pubic bone). If there is a line at all, mom is probably at least 5cm. If you are working with a woman who is intent on laboring at home as long as possible, the crease may be a good indicator for her labor, a drawback is that it can also mean ‘too late’.

Another drawback to this is if baby is riding high throughout the early and active labor stage (aka a 'late descender').

Mexican Hot Legs

As the birthing woman's body works harder, blood is withdrawn from the extremities to be utilized by the womb. Thus, the woman's legs get progressively colder from the ankle to the knee as labor progresses. At the start of birth, the whole leg will be warm. At around 5cm, the leg will be coldre from the ankle to around mid-calf than it is above the calf. Once the whole leg feels coldre up to the knee, then the urge to push should shortly follow.

This technique is less reliable if the woman is having an epidural, as the drugs will also affect the temperature of the hands and legs. If a woman is birthing in water then she'd need to be on dry land for around 20 minutes to allow the temperature in her legs to be measured accurately. - Kath Harbisher

Pressure

As baby descends, pressure will be felt at different levels on her back. This will not necessarily give dilation information, but will help in determining position/station of baby within the pelvic outlet. This pressure will move from the rim of the pelvis all the way down onto the coccyx (tailbone).

As doulas can tell you, as mom continues to dilate, and baby continues to move down the pelvis, the pressure she feels will go lower. This is why back massages turn into butt massages turn into tailbone massages. :)

By the time that mom is 8-10cm and 0 to +1 station, the small rectangular spot of mom’s buttocks (tailbone area) will bow outward as her pelvis makes room for babies decent. This usually means that, if you are at home and mom was planning a hospital or birth center birth, you very well may have waited too long.

Another indicator is that, if mom is feeling pressure between her legs, vomits, and her water breaks simultaneously, she is probably 7-8cm or more.

A final indicator is, regardless of dilation, if a mom is passing stool involuntarily with her contractions, whether she has the urge to push or not, she is either holding a posterior baby, fully dilated and about to start pushing, or baby is at a low station (more common without full dilation in multips).

In Conclusion
Dilation of the cervix can tell us how far open you are, but not how close you are to the destination of birthing your baby. Listening to your body and the cues it gives can help us know where you are at in your journey though. Some women's journeys take them through jogs and shortcuts, while others are mountainous day-hikes.

More than anything else, these tools can help women to plan their next steps on their birthing journeys; when to move to their expected place of birth, when to enter the birthing pool, what their labor pattern might indicate, what is true labor vs what is practice labor.

Additional Research and Reading

Byrne DL and Edmonds DK (1990) Clinical method for evaluating progress in first stage of labour in The Lancet Vol 335 No 8681 p122
Checking Dilation Without A Cervical Exam
Midwifery, Best Practice, Vol 1 - Hobbs L (2003) Assessing cervical dilatation: Watching the purple line in Wickham S (Ed) Midwifery: Best Practice, Books for Midwives, Edinburgh Ch 4.3 p77-8
How Dilated Am I
The purple line as a measure of labour progress: a longitudinal study

2011-07-12T13:14:00.005-05:00

Oooh, I want to win this DivaCup and Diva Wash being put on by Moma Lovebug and DivaCup. :)

In Celebration of Twin Birth

2011-07-08T19:08:00.002-05:00

I have been getting lots of questions about twin birth lately, including a few comments in some of my past posts... so, let's look at the normalcy of twin birth:

This birth is great because it shows that twins can be carried to true maturity, not 'medical' maturity (37 weeks).

Here is a great one of a water birth of twins were the sac is intact for baby B.

Here is a lovely home birth of twins, a VBAC (HBAC), Baby B born 2 hours after Baby A. Baby B is posterior.

Hellena Post has an amazing birth story of her twins, where her twins don't come immediately one after the other (and safely)... unlike what the hospital would want you to do.

And, in the event you haven't seen it, Psalm and Zoya is a great twin birth as well, one footling breech.

Twin birth is simply a variation of normal.

"What Your Pediatrician Doesn't Know" - Winner

2011-07-07T21:46:00.000-05:00

Interestingly, my post didn't post for the giveaway (thank you Blogger)... so, I am giving a one-week extension for the winner to contact me. :)

And, the winner of "What Your Pediatrician Doesn't Know Can Hurt Your Child" is...

...

...

#13, aka. Megan B. So, Megan, be sure to contact me in 7 days from today to claim your prize.

Viewing Birth

2011-06-25T09:04:00.000-05:00

As we have talked about so much prior to this, viewing natural, normal birth is something that our Western culture is missing. This is the best, most truest form of education available to women, and so vitally important. For this reason, I encourage you to view these beautiful birth stories.

Malachi Daniel's Birth from Evie Marie on Vimeo.

Oliver Bradshaw's Birth from Evie Marie on Vimeo.

And grab some snacks for this longer one:

A Home Birth Story from TOBY MADDEN on Vimeo.

2011-06-22T10:02:00.000-05:00

I am happy to see this article out, but it is nothing that we in the 'alternative' childbirth field didn't already know and haven't already been saying for many, many years. 40 weeks is not a fail-safe date for all babies to be evicted. In fact, the average first time mom will gestate a baby for 41 weeks and 1 day.

The fact is, a woman who is going to keep her baby in longer, usually does so because her baby is not ready to be born. These babies who are forced out have higher incidences of neonatal issues normally associated with preterm births (duh).

Experts Discuss Importance of the Last Weeks of Pregnancy

NEW YORK, June 7, 2011 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ -- Every week of pregnancy is crucial to a newborn's health, and today, the March of Dimes unveiled a new public education campaign to raise awareness about the important development that occurs during those last few weeks.

The campaign, called "Healthy Babies Are Worth the Wait," encourages women to allow labor to begin on its own if their pregnancy is healthy. It aims to dispel the myth that it's safe to schedule a delivery before 39 weeks of pregnancy without a medical need.
Babies born after 37 weeks of pregnancy are full-term. However, new research has shown that a baby's brain nearly doubles in weight in the last few weeks of pregnancy. Also, important lung and other organ development occur at this time. And, although the overall risk of death is small, it is double for infants born at 37 weeks of pregnancy, when compared to babies born at 40 weeks, for all races and ethnicities.

"Some women mistakenly think that the only thing a baby does during the last weeks of pregnancy is gain weight, making labor and delivery more difficult," said Judith Nolte, a member of the March of Dimes national Board of Trustees and former editor-in-chief of American Baby Magazine Group, who worked with the March of Dimes to develop the new awareness campaign. "When the moms in our focus groups learned about the important brain and organ development that occurs, they were more than willing to put up with their own discomfort so their baby could get a healthy start in life."

Only 25 percent of women know a full-term pregnancy should last at least 39 weeks, according to research published in the December 2009 issue of Obstetrics and Gynecology.
"Women may feel worried, anxious, or simply uncomfortable near the end of their pregnancy. But unless there are medical complications, the healthiest and safest place for that developing infant is in the womb," said Eve M. Lackritz, M.D., chief of the Maternal and Infant Health Branch, Division of Reproductive Health, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, who outlined the health consequences of an early birth. "Term labor and delivery are not just normal and natural – they're the healthiest alternative for both the mother and the infant."

Information about the new Healthy Babies Are Worth the Wait educational campaign can be found at marchofdimes.com/39weeks.

The March of Dimes is the leading nonprofit organization for pregnancy and baby health. With chapters nationwide, the March of Dimes works to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth and infant mortality. For the latest resources and information, visit marchofdimes.com or nacersano.org. For free access to national, state, county and city-level maternal and infant health data, visit PeriStats, at marchofdimes.com/PeriStats.

SOURCE March of Dimes
Back to top RELATED LINKS
http://www.marchofdimes.com/

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Further information and reading:
On Pins and Needles - acupuncture for induction
Induction Increases Cesarean - the correlation between neonatal issues, induction, and cesareans
Avoiding the Pit - know the realities of Pitocin
An Australian post on Induction
Induction, Encouragement, Eviction