Wrapping Up

As we wind up to close on 2011, I took a look back at the memories I have of the women I attended this year, I considered the friendships I made and the workshops I attended. I learned so much through these interactions and relationships.

So, as a farewell to 2011, I thought I would share a recap of my favorite blog posts (I didn't have a favorite from January):

February
Positions For Birth
Would You Rather
Knitted Noggins
Throughout Time, Throughout The World - Babywearing

Throughout Time, Throughout The World - Childbirth Practices
Throughout Time, Throughout The World - Breastfeeding

March
Throughout Time, Throughout The World - Birth Partners

April
Talk It Out - Pt 1
Talk It Out - Pt 2
Talk It Out - Pt 3

May
Talk It Out - Pt 4
Much Ado About Gratis
The FDA Is Having A Pool Party
A Chance To Make A Change

June
Induction, Encouragement, Eviction

July
Dilation, How To Check Without Checking

August
Fear
Breech Options

Failure To Progress.. Part 1
Failure to Progress... Part 2
September
How Do You Decide
Schism

None in October.. must have been a busy month...

November
Sensationalism and Sleeping Arrangements

And we aren't quite done with December...

So there you have it, my favorites... what are yours? Have a safe and happy New Year's Eve!

Thoughtful Thursday

"You are constructing your own reality with the choices you make ... or don't make. If you really want a healthy pregnancy and joyful birth, and you truly understand that you are the one in control, then you must examine what you have or haven't done so far to create the outcome you want." - Kim Wildner - Mother's Intention: How Belief Shapes Birth

Breastfeeding and Marketing

www.sheknows.com/

I love breastfeeding.. not just doing it, but seeing it and supporting it.

Breastmilk is the perfect food for baby. There is no substitute for the perfect thing, unless it is less-than-perfect. In fact, formula feeding is not even second best... it's fourth.

1. Breastfeeding
2. Pumping and providing expressed breast milk from the baby's own mother
3. Receiving donor milk from another woman's pumped breast milk
4. Formula           - Dr. Jack Newman, The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers

Christy Jo, author and blogger over at Birthing, Bonding, and Breastfeeding, has started an awesome campaign.

"This post is about advertising, marketing and deception.  We as educators, public health professionals, moms, citizens, consumers, tax payers, etc. have to demand honesty in advertising--especially from the formula companies. These companies use inferior ingredients, cut corners in production, and then lie about its value, causing customers to flock to the registers with complete peace of mind. As consumers, we question the quality of what we purchase and we want what we pay for...then there's formula..."

To read the rest of her article and to see more of her awesome advertisements, see Formula Companies Dare To Compare Imitation to the Real Thing.

If you are considering breastfeeding, there are some awesome resources I think you would benefit from:

• Best For Babes
• LLI
• Kelly Mom
• Lactation Consultant Association
• Jack Newman
• Breastfeeding.com
• Milk Share
• Human Milk Banking Association of North America 
• Breastmilk Counts
• Breastmilk and Breastfeeding
• MOBI Motherhood International

In addition to these, there are great videos to help you on your way to knowing how to perfect the breastfeeding latch, different positions, and more!

If you are nursing and experiencing any issues, get help now! Nearly every issue can be overcome with proper help and diligence. And, it is so. very. worth. it. Proper help is not your pediatrician, it is an independent lactation consultant with proper training. Where can you find one of those gems? Ask a doula, childbirth educator, midwife, or La Leche League for recommendations.

Most do home or hospital visits and, although they can get pricey at times... consider, if you can't resolve the issue, give up on breastfeeding and switch to formula feeding, how much more money will you dish out to pay for that formula? It is worth it!

Tis Better To Give... WINNERS

Sorry it has taken me awhile to get these up... my computer doesn't seem to like blogger right now, or vice versa. :)

BUT, I have the winners to Tis Better to Give, and they are, in order:

This means that Enjoy Birth, Kalie, and Heidelade are my winners!

• Enjoy Birth asked for the book, as she is #1 on the list, she receives her first choice, Arms Wide Open! 
• Kalie, #2, asked for the book as well, unfortunately, I only have one to give away, so she will be winning The Expecting Mama packet! I hope she has use for these in her business!
• And Heidelade is #3! She also asked for the book, but she also gave me a second choice, the postpartum gift set! So, I will be sending out the postpartum gift set to her!

Ladies, be sure to contact me asap so that I can send these out to you!

There's Just Something About Mary

Every Christmas, I post a little Christmasy birth information.

This Christmas, let me give you a little link fun and a little Biblical narrative.

First off, the First, More Accurate Than Most, Noel! This is a funny skit based on how Mary and Joseph probably interacted on their journey to census. It isn't meant to be literal, or philosophical in the least - simply entertaining. :)

Second, Whole Mother did an awesome radio segment, in honor of the "most famous unassisted birth" ever, on unassisted birth, the birth story of one of our other local doulas. Enjoy listening here.

Third, something we don't often consider. While Mary was waiting for her baby, she went to stay with her cousin Elizabeth, who was 6 months pregnant, for "about 3 months". Many theologians believe that Mary went to Elizabeth's stayed for 3 months, then left right before the birth.

I believe that Mary stayed with Elizabeth throughout labor and birth, but then left before Elizabeth's lying-in time was done.

Why do I think this way? The timeline.

Verse 24 says that Elizabeth went into seclusion for 5 months. Then verse 26 begins "in the 6th month" (coming after hearing about 5 months of seclusion, we know that this is the the 6th month of Elizabeth's pregnancy) Gabriel makes his announcement to Mary.

Right after that conversation (between the Angel and Mary - verse 39) it says "At that time" Mary went to see Elizabeth.

We then have the conversation between Mary and Elizabeth, Mary's beautiful song, and verse 56, which says Mary stayed "about" 3 months.

Verse 57 sounds like after Mary left Elizabeth gave birth, but we have to remember that Biblical authors don't always write in a linear fashion.

In the case of 1:56, it simply wraps up Mary's involvement with the narrative about the coming of John the Baptist. And in 1:57, the narrative is bringing Elizabeth back center stage by introducing the fact that Elizabeth had her baby.

Is it possible that Mary left prior to the birth of John? Absolutely. But I AM convinced that nothing in 1:57 necessarily or even probably implies Mary's absence. In fact, as was practice in that day and time, Mary would have stayed to help Elizabeth give birth, as was the custom of women supporting other women.

Additionally, it would benefit/behoove Mary to stay and help. She would see birth, learn, and know what labor and birth looked, felt, and acted like so that she was prepared for her own birthing time.

So.. would that mean that, not only did Mary have a beautiful birth in less than optimal settings... but she was also likely to be an early doula? I knew I loved that woman!

Thoughtful Thursday

"I often think that had a mother been
The hostess there that evening at the inn,
There would have been no question of a stall.
She would have found some place within her hall
For Mary to lay down her tired head,
Perhaps she would have given her own bed.
And in the cradle of her own wee son,
She might have placed, that night, the Holy One.
Not with the thought of harboring a King,
Or any hope of gain her act might bring,
But from the simple goodness of her heart,
For mothers are a sisterhood apart."
- Nina Stiles

Thoughtful Thursday

“Mothers need to know that their care and their choices won’t be compromised by birth politics.” - Jennifer Rosenberg

“The need to pursue healthy birth options and birth rights for women and babies doesn’t end with our own births; for women will always birth after us.” - Desirre Andrews

Tis Better To Give...

My clients and peers, mentors and mamas, have all taught me so much over the years. I  have come away from every single birth, not only hoping to have made a difference in their experience and life, but also searching for what that particular experience has taught me... either for the future families I would support, or for myself personally.

During this season, we all will get gifts, receive well wishes, and watch our loved ones open presents that we have chosen for them with all of the love and care we can wrap into a little box.

I wish I were able to give something to all of my lovely readers, clients, mamas, peers, and mentors, but that would be impossible.

So, instead, I want to gift something to a postpartum mama, a birth worker, and an expecting mama!

Perhaps you are a mama who could benefit from these gifts, or perhaps you are a birth worker who wants to gift it forward to a client you are working with... whatever the case, be sure to read the rules for entering at the end of this post! :)

Expecting Mama
For the mama expecting her baby, I am gifting something from my own doula library. I am giving away a copy of Mothering the Mother, an awesome back-issue of Mothering, and a plethora of samples and handouts that I normally give to the women that I work with.

Mothering the Mother is an awesome book that gives wonderful advice and information on supporting a woman in labor, how a partner can help, and how a doula can benefit the experience. There are great photos of positive laboring positions, how a father can best support the laboring woman, and what to look for postpartum.

The issue of Mothering is the special  pregnancy edition from 2008 and has great information on home birth, Eco-friendly baby showers, breastfeeding, pampering mom, bed-sharing, co-sleeping, and childbirth education.

The fillers will include badger baby balm, belly lotion, nipple cream, educational handouts, and so much more!


Postpartum Mama
For the mama who has already birthed her baby, I am gifting an Earth Mama Angel Baby Postpartum Gift Set. The postpartum gift set includes Monthly Comfort Tea, postpartum bath herbs, Happy Bottom Spray, New Mama Bottom Spray, and Herbal Bottom Balm.



Birthworker

And as an added bonus, I am offering a copy of Arms Wide Open! Patsy wants to give a book away, and I have to say that I am thrilled! I wrote a review here, and cannot recommend this book enough. I would LOVE to see this book get into the hands of a doula, doula-in-training, childbirth educator, or midwife. So, if you fit that description, or if you are a mama who wants to gift it forward to your favorite birth worker, perhaps you can enter to win it for them!


 Rules:
 Since this is a season of gift-giving, I want to hear back from you, my readers, while also encouraging you to gift your friends/family/clients with information and advocacy.

• Search my blog and find an/the article that you love
• Share it on your Facebook so your friends and family can read it
• Come back here and, in the comments, share the link to where you posted the above, as well as which prize you are entering to win (be sure there is an email attached to your submission so I can reach you if you win). 

It's that easy!

At midnight on Christmas Eve morning, entries will be closed. Christmas Eve morning I will post the winners. :) You will have until New Year's Morning to get back to me with your mailing address (or the address of the person you are gifting the prize to), although I will ship them as soon as I get the go-ahead! Merry Christmas!!

Tis The Season

I love Christmas. I love the snow (which we don't get here in TX), building snow forts in the dazzling night sky, the scent of the pine tree, the roaring fire, the baking and cooking, the family and friends visiting, the warm cups of joy clutched in cold fists... I love it all. Except one thing: when I'm asked to make a Christmas list for myself.

Maybe it's my nature, maybe I feel shy about saying 'I want' something, maybe its

because I am happy with all of the above, that gifts are an afterthought... whatever the reason, I am inevitably asked to send out a gift list for myself after the kids have sent out theirs.

For that reason, and in case you are considering giving your midwife, doula, or childbirth educator a gift this season, consider this doula's "open Christmas list".

If you are shopping for a childbirth educator, I can tell you that, unless she works through a hospital, CBE work doesn't make a lot of money. She has expenses and some of her items are either consumable/perishable or will wear out over time.

• Budget Friendly - a gift card to her favorite bookstore for her latest wishlist book. Or a copy of the Business of Being Born
• Moderate Cost - A knitted uterus is a great choice, especially for newer childbirth educators.
• No Expense too Great - a flip chart of childbirth graphics. This is an awesome one that I am personally in love with.

If you are shopping for a doula, I can suggest items that will help her to be the best that she can be for the future women that she attends. Although the number one most precious and perfect gift you can give her is word-of-mouth advertising and referrals, there are other, more tangible, gifts that will help her on her way.

• Budget Friendly - a necklace to inspire her, or a set of childbirth education booklets for her and her clients would be perfect.
• Moderate Cost - the hypnodoula packet would give her excellent continued education and help her expand her bag of tools, or a homeopathy starter kit, or, if she is newer and wants a wonderful educational item, a Rebozo and DVD is a great idea.
• No Expense too Great - if she is interested in becoming a placenta encapsulationist, a dehydrator would get her on her way nicely, and a birth stool would go wonderfully with any doula to any birth.

Midwives are a little more difficult, unless you know specifically what she doesn't have that she would like or needs.

• Budget Friendly - if you know her assistant or any of her peers, ask them what her favorite restaurant is, a giftcard is a great way to tell her how much you appreciate her, as is buying a second of any book in her lending library (in the event one is not returned).
• Moderate - Again, jewelry is always appreciated, as is a copy of any DVD in her lending library, or a hand-painted (placenta) bowl. 
• No Expense Too Great - a shrine is a beautiful piece of artwork to add to her office, or an antique for her collection.

 And finally, if you really don't mind the cost, a wonderful gift to any midwife, doula, or childbirth educator is to gift her services to someone who cannot afford them. This allows the birthworker to give back, in turn.

Other items that all doulas, midwives, and CBE educators can always use are gift cards to bookstores or gift certificates to places like Doula Shop and Birth with Love.

In fact, we like to recycle, and places such as Ebay have resale and items at great prices.

So, if you are thinking of giving a gift to your birthworker this season, consider some of the ideas above. And have a Merry Christmas!

Thoughtful Thursday

“I’ll quote my 3 yo daughter: ‘To give birth is like to poo. It hurts, you push and then you’re better’.” - Nathalie Farquet Michaud

Welcome Lex!

Birth Story Time! This is the lovely birth story of one of the mom's I recently attended. I loved working with this family. Dad was a hoot, so attentive, but so lighthearted... and mama, wow, talk about intuitive! Enjoy!

In everyone’s life there are pivotal moments that define us as a person. Steer us in the new direction our life needs to go, and give us new meaning to old things. This is my moment.

Saturday, November 19^th

It was a nice day like any other day, nothing noticeably different to take note of.  I was feeling more energetic than most days so we decided to take advantage and do lots of things around the house to prepare for our little baby that was slated to arrive 3 weeks from that day. Give or take, we knew best not to give him a timeline. We woke early and made our breakfast as we always do and set out to the battle plan of the day. That morning we put up all our Christmas decorations and tree so that I would not have to worry about doing that as I got further along and more uncomfortable. So to the tunes of country music I trimmed the tree and hung the ornaments getting everything all decked out. Later that afternoon my best friend Reagan came by to visit and we went for a nice long walk at the park.

Chatting away the afternoon while making our way around the large pond. Feeling still very energetic and full of anticipation, I could not have known that perhaps this was ‘the walk’ that would get the ball rolling’ . That evening after my friend left us to ourselves, we made a nice dinner and settled in for the evening. At this point I was getting some stronger than normal Braxton hicks contractions, nothing that I would have indicated as labor, but looking back on it now, may have been just that. We went to bed, with thoughts of our little man coming to us dancing in our heads.

Sunday, November 20^th, 3:54 am

My water broke. 

Woken from my sleep by an interesting sensation I can’t say that I have ever experienced before. And not knowing with absolute certainty that my water had indeed broken I woke Gabor up. After some more examination and more obvious signs, we decided that indeed we were on our way to labor land. The first few moments were a frenzy of emotion, excitement, uncertainty and anxiety, but also pure joy in knowing that we were going to see our baby within 24 hours (god permitting). I got up and moved around the house for a little while trying to gather my thoughts, an text the midwife letting her know my membranes were no longer hanging out at the party. After about an hour of pacing, I decided to hop in the shower.

Not long after that, perhaps 2 hours the contractions started, not strong at first but definitely making their presence known. We put together the birth pool (which had been delivered on Friday, a week early) and I let Gabor know it might be a good idea for him to clean up as well, so we could have all the hot water we needed. By 6am I called my mother letting her know she needed to go ahead and come over that things were getting a bit more uncomfortable and I wanted her there. By 9am I was finding it more and more difficult to concentrate on anything other than the contractions and the doula was then called.

I remember thinking to myself that the pain was not unbearable and that it was necessary in order to birth my child.

So I focused and used my hypnobirthing and took each surge with a nice long breath. The doula arrived with a calming force that really helped calm both Gabor and I. She showed Gabor a nice way to apply pressure to my hips to help me during the surges and reminded me to melt into the pain, to relax and let it do what it needed to do.

Giving into my birthing body was a must if I wanted this birth to progress. We were, after all, there to have a baby.  By noon I was in transition and we were making sure that the midwife was there. A new urge to push was not entering my mind and things were starting to get real. The intensity of the contractions were stronger and my body was starting to completely take over. And in some carnal way, it was amazing to feel the strength of you body as it does something so miraculous. Kellie, our midwife arrived and from then it was fast and furious. Several positions later, and never in the birth tub I was using all my strength to birth my child. Reminding myself that he would be here soon and we would be holding him. That nothing my body offered up as far as pain was too much to handle, for my body was mine. I could handle anything, I had to handle anything, I wanted to hold my child.

November 20, 1:34pm

Our child Gabor Alexander Farkas III was born.

Gabor Alexander II was the first human being to touch him – his father.

He was delivered to the cord wrapped around his neck, which Kellie gently removed. He took a few moments to take that sweet breath of fresh air, giving us a little scare, but then he wiggled his little body of 6.45 lbs and let us know he had arrived. I was instantly in love, instantly no longer the most important person in the world, instantly here to take care of this little human being.

In that moment I knew that love was greater than just one person, it was the combination of two people to make a third. That I was looking at God’s greatest miracle, LIFE! I had carried him with me every day,  yearning to know what he looked like, eager to hear his cries, and now he was with me. Small and fragile laying on my chest. We were now three, a family.

We got the birth we always wanted, at home, in our own safe environment, with those around us that loved us. No harsh lights, no pain medication, no unfamiliar faces poking in and out of the room. Letting nature take its course. I would not trade our experience for the world. And I know that our son was born in a gentle and loving environment.

Special thanks go out to Kellie Moeller, our midwife who is one of the most gentle people I  know. Her birth assistant Pam, who is amazingly patient. Cole Deelah, our doula, who has a spirit more calming that the ocean. And to my husband who stood beside me as I birthed our child, who gave me strength when I needed it! And to the rest of my family and friends for their undying support in our choice to have a home birth! We love you all very much.

Thoughtful Thursday

"One is constantly having to balance the high expectations of modern health care with the need to respect the human soul. This is especially so with birth." - Benig Mauger